Journey 055: Recruiting Roulette
Wukong pulls out all the stops in his fight against the Rhino King.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Transcript
Welcome to the Chinese Lore Podcast, where I retell classic Chinese stories in English. This is episode 55 of Journey to the West.
Last time, while crossing another mountain, Sun Wukong went off to find food, and then the rest of the pilgrims did exactly the opposite of what he told them to do and essentially went looking for trouble. They found it and fell into the clutches of the demon Rhino King. Wukong went head to head against the demon, but the Rhino King turned out to be pretty powerful and even took away Wukong’s golden rod. Wukong thought he might be some celestial government bureaucrat who slipped down from heaven, so he went to see the Jade Emperor and demanded a head count. But apparently all the people in the Jade Emperor’s employ were accounted for. So Wukong settled for borrowing some celestial forces to go help him take on the Rhino King again.
Accompanied by the celestial commander Li Jing and his son Lotus Boy Nezha, Wukong returned to Golden Pocket Mountain, the home of the Rhino King. Once the celestial army set up on the southern slope of the mountain, Li Jing said to Wukong, “My son Nezha once tamed the demons of 96 caves. He is adept at transformations and carries demon-taming weapons with him. Let him take the first battle.”
“Alright, then let me accompany him,” Wukong agreed.
So Nezha and Wukong went to the entrance of Golden Pocket Cave. They saw the doors were shut. Wukong stepped forth and shouted, “Damn demon! Open up at once and return my master!”
The demon lackey watching the door quickly reported to the Rhino King, “That Sun Wukong and a boy are challenging for battle outside.”
“I took that monkey’s rod. He must have recruited some reinforcements. Bring my weapon!”
Taking his spear in hand, the Rhino King went outside and saw Wukong accompanied by a young boy with a handsome, refined, and unusual appearance. His face was round and radiant as the full moon. His vermilion lips and square mouth revealed gleaming silver teeth. His eyes flashed like lightning, his pupils bursting with fierce brilliance. His broad forehead glowed with rosy light beneath a tightly bound topknot. His embroidered sash danced in the wind like flying tongues of colored flame. His brocade robe, shining in the sun, scattered blossoms of golden light. The bright rings and tassels reflected from his chest plate, and his precious armor glittered above his battle boots.
The Rhino King chuckled, “You are Li Jing’s third son, Nezha. Why are you shouting outside my door?”
“Because you, unruly demon, dared to harm the sage monk from the East,” Nezha shot back. “On the Jade Emperor’s command, I have come to apprehend you!”
“Sun Wukong must have recruited you!” the Rhino King said angrily. “And yes, I did capture that monk. What skills does a little boy like you have? How dare you speak so recklessly? Stand still and taste my spear!”
Nezha raised his demon-slaying sword, and the Rhino King hoisted his spear as they faced off. While they fought, Wukong hurried around a hill and shouted, “Gods of thunder, where are you? Hurry up and go strike down that demon with your thunderbolts and help Nezha!”
The two members of the Department of Thunder who had been dispatched with the expedition flew overhead and were about to cast their thunderbolts. But they saw Nezha working his magic and sprouting three heads and six arms, with each of his six hands wielding a weapon. But the Rhino King countered likewise and also sprouted three heads and six arms, wielding three long spears.
Nezha now hurled all six of his weapons at the Rhino King. These were a sword, a knife, a cord, a staff, a brocade ball, and his fire wheels. As he threw them, he shouted, “Change!”, and the six weapons turned into ten thousand and flew at the demon.
But the Rhino King showed no signs of fear. He pulled out his white ring again, threw it into the air, and shouted, “Strike!” And just like that, all six of Nezha’s weapons were snatched away. Left barehanded, Nezha hurriedly fled, and the Rhino King returned to his cave.
Watching this from above, the two thunder gods chuckled and said to each other, “Good thing we took a look first before unleashing our thunderbolts. If that demon also snatched those away, how could we report back to the Jade Emperor?”
Nezha returned to the celestial army’s camp and told his father, “That demon really is powerful!”
Wukong chuckled from the side, “That fiend’s magic is only so-so. It’s just that ring that’s a handful. I wonder what kind of treasure it is, that it can snatch everything.”
Nezha was quite annoyed by that remark and said, “Great Sage, that’s not cool! We all suffered defeat and worry for your sake. Why are you laughing instead?”
“You talk about worry; do you think I don’t worry?” Wukong retorted. “I have no idea what to do next, so I’m just laughing to keep from crying.”
“So how should we proceed?” Li Jing now cut in.
“We need to find something that the ring can’t snatch away,” Wukong said. “That would defeat him.”
“Well, water and fire are the least likely to be snatchable by a ring,” Li Jing suggested. “As the saying goes, ‘Water and fire are blind.’ ”
“Quite right! You all wait a bit. Let me go up to heaven again,” Wukong said.
The thunder gods asked him where he was going, and Wukong told them, “I’m not going to bother the Jade Emperor this time. I’ll just go to the Palace of Crimson Splendor and ask the Fire Virtue Star Lord of Mars to come unleash a blaze to burn that demon. Maybe it can even reduce that ring to ashes. Then, we can capture that demon, return your weapons so you can go home, and rescue my master.”
Nezha agreed with that idea and bade Wukong to hurry up. So Wukong flew up to the Southern Gate of Heaven, where he was greeted by one of the Four Heavenly Kings again. He told them what happened and why he was there, so they let him through. He went to Crimson Splendor Palace, where the gods of the Department of Fire welcomed him and announced him to the Fire Virtue Star, aka Mars. Mars came out to greet him and said, “I did a head count of my department yesterday, and no one here even thinks about going to the mortal realm.”
“Oh I know. But Commander Li and his son lost their battle and their weapons, so I came to ask you for help.”
“But that Nezha is a high-level god. He once tamed the demons of 96 caves and has great powers. If he couldn’t beat the demon, what can I possibly do?”
“We were strategizing with Commander Li, and he said that among heaven and earth, nothing is more powerful than water and fire. That demon has a ring that can snatch away objects. I don’t know what it is, but we think fire can destroy it. So I have come to ask you to lead your forces to go burn that demon and save my master.”
Mars agreed and promptly mobilized the forces of the Department of Fire. They accompanied Wukong back to Golden Pocket Mountain and met up with the first celestial army. Li Jing suggested that Wukong go challenge for battle again, and then the fire gods would do their thing. So Wukong went to knock on the door again, while Mars, Nezha, and the two thunder gods watched from a high peak.
When the Rhino King heard that Sun Wukong was back, he went out with his lackeys and asked, “Damn monkey, who have you recruited now?”
Li Jing now stepped out and shouted, “Damn demon, do you know me?”
“Commander Li, you must be here to avenge your son and ask for his weapons back, right?” the Rhino King laughed.
“That’s part of it, but I’m also here to capture you and save the Tang monk. Stand still and taste my blade!” Li Jing shouted as he attacked. The two now went at it in front of the cave, engaging in a fierce back-and-forth.
While they fought, Wukong leaped up to the peak and told Mars to do his thing. Down below, the Rhino King was starting to pull out his magic ring again. Li Jing saw this and quickly retreated. Meanwhile, Mars ordered his Department of Fire to unleash their powers. A surge of flames roared as it shot toward the Rhino King. But he just hurled his ring skyward and with a whoosh, all the fire instruments were sucked in by the ring, and the Rhino King again went home victorious.
All Mars had left was a command flag in his hand. He summoned back his troops and regrouped with the rest of the gang. He told Wukong, “Great Sage, that demon is a true rarity. We’ve lost all our fire instruments. Now what?”
Wukong laughed, “No need to gripe. Please sit and I’ll be back soon.”
“Where are you off to now?” Li Jing asked.
“Since that demon isn’t afraid of fire, he must be afraid of water. As the saying goes, ‘Water beats fire.’ Let me go to the North Gate of Heaven and ask the Water Virtue Star Lord. He can unleash a flood to drown that demon in his cave. Then we can get your stuff back.”
“That sounds like a good idea, but what about your master? Wouldn’t he drown too?” Li Jing asked.
“No worries. If he drowns, I have ways to bring him back to life. Anyway, I shouldn’t keep you all waiting.”
So Wukong now flew up to the North Gate of Heaven. After the usual courtesies with another set of celestial doormen, he went to the Vast Black Palace and was greeted by the Water Virtue Star Lord. The Water Star told Wukong, “Yesterday, I was told to do a head count. I was worried that it was someone from my department causing trouble. I’m in the middle of checking the roll of all the gods of the rivers and seas. I’m not quite done yet.”
“That demon king isn’t any river god, but something more powerful,” Wukong said. “Previously, Li Jing and Nezha, along with two thunder gods, went to capture him, but his ring took away six weapons. So then I went and recruited Mars and the Department of Fire to burn him, but then all their fire instruments got snatched away. I figure if that demon is impervious to fire, he must be vulnerable to water. So I have come to ask you to use your water powers to capture that demon, return the weapons to the celestial generals, and save my master.”
The Water Star now summoned the god of the Yellow River and told him to go help Wukong. The Yellow River God pulled out a white jade bowl from his sleeve and said, “I use this to carry water.”
“How much water can that thing hold? How can it drown that demon?” Wukong asked skeptically.
“Great Sage, to tell you the truth, this bowl holds all the water of the Yellow River. Half a bowl is equal to half the water in the river, and a full bowl is all the water from the river.”
“Oh, only half a bowl would be plenty then,” Wukong said with delight, and he and the Yellow River God hurriedly departed heaven. They stopped at the Yellow River, and the Yellow River God scooped up half of the water in the river. Umm, sorry all your mortals who were counting on that river’s water for your livelihoods.
Anyway, they went to Golden Pocket Mountain and Wukong told the Yellow River God, “Come with me. Once I get them to open the door, don’t wait for them to come out, just pour the water into the cave, and drown that whole nest of demons. Then I’ll go fetch my master’s dead body and revive him.”
So Wukong went to knock, the Rhino King opened the door, and the Yellow River God emptied his bowl in the direction of the cave entrance. Seeing this flood coming at him, the Rhino King dropped his spear, took out his ring, and put it in the doorway. When the flood hit the ring, instead of going into the cave, it flowed back out and started flooding the area around the cave. Wukong hurriedly took to the air and flew to a high peak with the Yellow River God. The rest of the celestial forces joined them there and watched. They saw half the water of the Yellow River flowing freely and covering the land.
“Oh crap!” Wukong said. “This water is spreading and could flood peasants’ fields, and it’s not even touching the demon’s cave!”
He told the Yellow River God to retract the water at once, but the Yellow River God was like, umm, retract?
“I only know how to unleash the water, but not how to take it back,” he said. “As the saying goes, ‘Once you spill water, you can’t take it back.’ ”
Uh huh. What kind of river god are you? Anyway, they could only watch the water flow every which way, and seeing that they were on a mountain, all the water soon flowed away from the high ground, so the area around the cave was dry once more. So dry, in fact, that some demon lackeys came out and started prancing around, and the Rhino King laughed and said, “That water didn’t even get into our cave! What a waste of effort!”
Wukong felt the rage surging inside him. He leaped to the cave entrance and tried to beat the lackeys barefisted. The lackeys dropped their weapons, ran inside, and told the Rhino King. He came out with spear in hand and said, “Damn monkey! You haven’t been able to beat me in all these battles. Even fire and water couldn’t touch me. Why are you here to seek death again?”
“You’ve got it backwards!” Wukong shot back. “I’m not the one seeking death, you are! Come here and taste my fist!”
But the Rhino King laughed, “This monkey is such a pest. I’m using a spear, but he’s only got his fists. And they’re like the size of walnuts. Fine! I’ll put down my spear and trade fisticuffs!”
“Sounds good, let’s go!” Wukong said.
So the Rhino King tucked in his shirt and attacked with his fists, which looked like iron mallets. Wukong countered, and they started going at it. From atop a peak, the celestial forces looked on and cheered as they watched a dazzling display of martial skills on both sides. Then, they leaped down to help Wukong, but the demon lackeys took them on.
Seeing that neither side had the upperhand, Wukong pulled off a handful of fur, tossed them into the air, and shouted, “Change!” The fur turned into about 50 little monkeys. They surrounded the Rhino King and started pulling on his legs, yanking down his arms, wrapping around his waist, and clawing at his eyes. The Rhino King couldn’t take this, so he pulled out his ring, and just like that, all 50 little monkeys got sucked into the ring, and the Rhino King and his lackeys returned to the cave victorious once more.
When Sun Wukong regrouped with the celestial forces, who had fled at the first sight of the demon’s ring, Lotus Boy Nezha told him, “Great Sage, you’re truly a hero! Your bare-handed fighting skills were like flowers embroidered on brocade. You really showed your stuff!”
“You all were watching from afar. How did that demon’s skills compare with mine?” Wukong asked with a laugh, obviously fishing for more compliments.
“His movements were slow, not nimble like you, Great Sage,” Li Jing said. “When he saw us joining the fight, he started to worry. And then when you used your magic, he panicked and used his ring again.”
“That demon is easy to deal with; it’s the ring that’s hard,” Wukong said.
Mars and the Yellow River God now said, “We must get that treasure of his before we can capture him.”
“But how? The only way is to steal it,” Wukong said.
The two thunder gods chuckled, “When it comes to stealing, no one is better than you, Great Sage. When you caused a ruckus in heaven, you stole celestial wine, immortal peaches, dragon liver, phoenix marrow, and even Laozi’s magic pills. What great thieving skills! You should use them today.”
“No problem. In that case, you all have a seat, and let me go take a look.”
So Wukong leaped down from the peak, turned into a fly, and slipped through a crack in the cave door. He saw a bunch of demon lackeys, singing and dancing on two sides while the Rhino King sat high and mighty on his throne. In front of him were platters of snake meat, deer liver, bear paw, camel hump, and mountain fruits. There were also a celadon wine bottle and fragrant goat cheese and coconut milk for all to feast on.
Wukong now flew into the throng of lackeys and turned into a badger demon. He mixed in with the crowd and slowly made his way toward the platform where the Rhino King was seated. But he saw no sign of the ring. He then turned to the back of the platform. There, he saw the various objects that had been snatched away by the ring. Suddenly, he looked up and saw his golden rod leaning against the east wall. This was a sight for sore eyes. He went over, grabbed the rod, turned back into himself, and started bashing his way out of the cave. The Rhino King was caught off guard, and before he knew it, Sun Wukong had already fled the cave, leaving a bloody path of dead demon lackeys in his wake.
Once he was outside, Sun Wukong leaped back up to the peak where the celestial forces were waiting. Li Jing saw how joyous he was and asked how it went. He told them what happened and how he got his rod back, and the gods asked, so when are we getting our stuff back?
“No problem!,” Wukong reassured them. “Now that I have my rod, no matter what, I’m going to smack that demon down and return your treasures.”
Just then, they heard the sound of drums and gongs down below. It was the Rhino King and his lackeys, coming after Sun Wukong.
“Perfect!” Wukong said. “Just what I wanted. You all sit and let me go capture him.”
He flew down, swung his staff, and shouted, “Damn demon! Don’t you run!”
The Rhino King parried his blow and cursed, “Damn monkey thief! You’re too rude! How can you steal my stuff?!”
“You damn beast! You took all that stuff with your ring. Which one of those items was yours? Stand still and taste my rod!”
The two now went at it again. They fought fiercely for six hours and still neither had the upper hand. It was starting to get late. The Rhino King shouted, “Wukong, stop! It’s getting dark, not good for fighting. Let’s both get some rest and go at it again tomorrow.”
“Stop that nonsense! I’m feeling it right now, so who cares if it’s dark. I must have it out with you right now!”
But the Rhino King feigned a thrust and retreated into the cave, shutting the door tight behind him. Wukong returned to the peak, where the gods praised him, “You are truly something! There’s no end to your skills!”
“Oh that’s too much!” Wukong laughed.
But Li Jing said, “No, it’s the truth. You’re truly a hero. That fight was on par with when you defeated all our forces!”
“Nevermind that for now. That demon must be tired after that fight. You all have a seat. Let me go back into the cave to find his ring. I must steal it, capture that demon, get your weapons back, and let you all report back to heaven.”
“It’s late,” Nezha said. “Why don’t you rest tonight and then go tomorrow morning?”
“You really don’t know anything about the world,” Wukong laughed. “What thief does his thing in broad daylight? This kind of shenanigans must happen at night, without anyone knowing.”
A couple of the other gods told Nezha, “Say no more. We don’t know about such dealings, but the Great Sage is an old hand at it. Let him go while the demon king is tired and while it’s dark.”
Wukong laughed, put away his rod, leaped down to the cave, and slipped inside in the form of a cricket. He skipped over to the foot of a wall and looked carefully. He saw a group of lackeys wolfing down food. After a short while, they finished feasting, put away their stuff, and went to bed.
It was now about 7 p.m.. Wukong hopped to the back and heard the Rhino King telling his men, “Keep a tight watch at all the doorways. That Sun Wukong might turn into something else and come in and steal stuff again.” So a bunch of sentries sat up and kept watch.
Wukong, meanwhile, went into the Rhino King’s quarters. There, he saw a stone bed. A few dolled-up female demons were helping the Rhino King disrobe and get ready for bed. Once his clothes were off, Wukong could see that the ring was wrapped around his left shoulder like a linked-ring bracelet. The Rhino King didn’t even remove it for bed. Instead, he wrapped it tightly around his shoulder and lay down on the stone bed.
Wukong now turned into a flea, hopped onto the bed, slipped under the covers, crawled onto the demon’s left shoulder and bit him. The Rhino King flipped over and cursed, “These damn servants! I must not be beating them enough. They didn’t clean the bed. What just bit me?!”
He then tidied up the ring again and lay back down. But Wukong crawled onto the ring and bit his shoulder once more. The demon flipped over again and said, “It’s so itchy!”
Seeing that the demon was not about to put down his ring, Wukong gave up on trying to steal it for the moment. He hopped off the bed, turned back into a cricket, left the room, and headed farther to the back of the cave. He found all the fire instruments hanging in another room. So he turned into his true form, broke into the room with a lock-breaking spell, and then uttered an incantation that brought all the hanging fire instruments down from the rafters. When he entered the room, he saw the room was lit up from the glow of the magic weapons that belonged to Nezha. They were leaning against the wall. He looked around some more and found a tray on a stone table, which held the monkey hairs that the Rhino King had taken from him.
Delighted, Wukong grabbed the hairs, blew on them, and said, “Change.” The hairs turned into about 50 little monkeys, and Wukong told them to carry all the swag from the room. He then used the fire instruments for their intended purposes and a roaring blaze broke out inside the cave. The demon lackeys fell into a panic as they were startled from their slumber. They tried to hide under their blankets, but to no avail. Amid howling cries, more than half of the lackeys were burned to death.
Around midnight, the celestial forces waiting on the peak saw the glow of fire coming near. They saw Wukong riding on a fire dragon, leading a troupe of little monkeys, and shouting to the gods, “Come get your weapons! Come get your weapons!”
Mars and Nezha hurried forward. Wukong retracted his monkey hairs, and the gods claimed their respective items and praised him to no end.
Inside Golden Pocket Cave, it was a different story. The Rhino King rushed out of his room and rushed to and fro, using his magic ring to put out the fire. By the time he was done, he was standing in a smoldering cave filled with smoke and charred bodies. More than half of his lackeys were dead, and he had barely 100 left. And then he went to the room where he kept the stuff he snatched from the gods, and found that they were all gone. He then rushed to the back of the cave, and was relieved to find that San Zang, Zhu Bajie, and Sha Zeng were still tied up, along with the horse and the luggage.
Seething, the Rhino King said to his lackeys, “Which of you didn’t pay attention and started a fire that caused all this damage?”
One of the lackeys said, “My lord, this wasn’t our doing. It must be that monkey thief. He must have started the fire and made off with the stuff.”
“Yes, it must be that thief Sun Wukong!” the Rhino King fumed. “I wasn’t careful enough before going to bed. That monkey must have slipped in here in another form. He was the one who bit me twice on my shoulder. He must have been after my treasure. But when he saw that I had a tight hold on it, he stole the weapons and set the fire with the wicked intent of burning me to death! Damn monkey thief! You went through all that effort, but you don’t know my powers! As long as I have this treasure, I wouldn’t get wet in the ocean, and I wouldn’t get burned in a fire. If I ever catch you, I’ll chop you into pieces!”
When dawn came, on the mountain peak, Lotus Boy Nezha said to Wukong, “Great Sage, it’s getting light out. Let’s not delay. While that demon’s morale is shaken, let’s use the fire instruments to help you, and go fight him again. This time, we will capture him.”
“Quite right!” Wukong agreed. “Let’s unite and go have some fun with him!”
So all the gods accompanied Wukong to the cave entrance, and he demanded battle once more. The stone doors had been reduced to ash by the fire and heat. A few lackeys were busy sweeping it up when they saw all the gods show up. They dropped their brooms, ran inside, and told their leader.
The Rhino King seethed with anger. He took his ring and his spear and stomped outside. To see how this latest fight will go, tune in to the next episode of the Chinese Lore Podcast. Thanks for listening!
Music in This Episode
- “Luỹ Tre Xanh Ngát Đầu Làng (Guzheng) – Vietnam BGM” by VPRODMUSIC_Asia_BGM
- “The Quiet Aftermath by Sir Cubworth (from YouTube audio library)
- “Ravines” by Elphnt (from YouTube audio library)
- “Slow Times Over Here” by Midnight North (from YouTube audio library)