Journey 054: See My Vests
Dissatisfied with the speed of their food delivery service, San Zang, Zhu Bajie, and Sha Zeng go out of their way to find trouble, and succeed.
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Transcript
Welcome to the Chinese Lore Podcast, where I retell classic Chinese stories in English. This is episode 54 of Journey to the West.
Last time, the pilgrims finally did what they should’ve done two episodes ago and called on the Bodhisattva Guanyin to help them tame the demon king of the Sky-Penetrating River. They then got a lift across the river from a giant turtle who was grateful to them for ridding the river of the demons. But when we left them, they were freezing and starving on a mountain in the height of winter. They saw some buildings in the distance, but Sun Wukong said those looked like trouble and forbade them from going anywhere near it. Instead, he flew off to beg for some food for San Zang. Wukong found a farmstead about 300 miles to the south, but the old man living there was scared by his magic and refused to give him any food. In fact, we left off with the old man raising his cane to beat Wukong on the head for being a pest.
Wukong, of course, was just amused by this. He let the old man get in seven or eight good whacks on his head, but they all felt like just scratching an itch.
“This monk has a hard head!” the old man exclaimed.
“Old sir,” Wukong chuckled, “you can hit me to your heart’s content, but I’m keeping count. Every whack is one ladle of rice for me.”
The old man panicked. He tossed his cane aside, ran back inside the house, and shut the door, all the while shouting, “Ghost! Ghost!” His whole family panicked as well, and they hurriedly barred the front and the back doors.
Seeing this, Wukong thought to himself, “That old scoundrel told me they had started cooking some rice. I wonder if he’s telling the truth. As the saying goes, ‘Daoism transforms the worthy, while Buddhism enlightens the foolish.’ Let me go in and have a look.”
So he cast an invisibility spell, went inside, and strolled to the kitchen. There, he indeed saw a steaming wok, filled half way with rice. Wukong shoved his alms bowl into the wok, filled it to the brim, and then took to the air and flew back toward where his party was waiting.
Speaking of the rest of the party, San Zang, Zhu Bajie, and Sha Zeng were all sitting inside the magic evil-repelling circle that Sun Wukong had drawn with his golden rod. Before he left, Wukong had told them, in no uncertain terms, that they must stay inside that circle if they wanted to stay safe. But after Wukong had been gone for a while, San Zang started getting antsy and wondered aloud where Wukong could’ve gone.
Zhu Bajie chuckled, “Who knows where he’s playing around at. Begging for food, hah! He’s just leaving us here to sit in prison.”
“What do you mean, ‘prison’?” San Zang asked.
“Master, you don’t understand. In ancient times, folks would draw a circle on the ground and use it as a prison. That monkey just drew a circle with his rod. He claims it’s like a steel wall. But what if wild beasts or demons actually showed up? How could we fend them off then? We would just get eaten.”
So, first, when Zhu Bajie talked about how the ancients would draw a circle on the ground and call it prison, I think that’s a reference to King Wen (2), the founding ruler of the Zhou kingdom, and we actually covered that particular story about him in the Investiture of the Gods. Second, are you for real? How does one so quickly forget the instructions that Sun Wukon had given only a few hours earlier?
San Zang now asked Bajie how they should proceed. Bajie said, “We’re exposed to the elements here. If it were up to me, then we would just keep heading west. Once Brother Sun finds food, he can catch up to us quickly. Then, once he catches up, we can eat and then keep going. That’s better than sitting here and letting our feet freeze.”
And of course, San Zang chose to listen to Zhu Bajie instead of following Sun Wukong’s very clear instructions. He and his two remaining disciples stepped out of the circle. San Zang led the way on foot, while Sha Zeng led the horse and Bajie carried the luggage.
Soon, they were approaching the buildings that they had seen from a distance earlier. It was an estate that faced south. It was surrounded by whitewashed walls, spread in the shape of the Chinese character for the number eight. There was a gate tower with an inverted lotus-shaped entrance, all adorned with brilliant colors. The door stood half open.
Zhu Bajie now hitched the horse to the stone drum sitting outside the door. Sha Zeng set down the luggage, and San Zang, trying to find shelter from the wind, sat under the eaves by the door.
“Master, this must be the residence of some official,” Zhu Bajie said. “There’s no one out here. They must be inside tending to the fire. You all sit and wait, let me go in and have a look.”
“Ok, but be careful to not offend them,” San Zang reminded him.
“I know, I know. Since I joined the Buddhist school, I HAVE learned a thing or two about courtesies. I’m no country bumpkin.”
So dum-dum tucked his rake into his waistband, tidied up his robe, and very gently walked inside. He saw three large parlors. The door curtains on all three were pulled high up. There was no sign of anyone, and no furniture of any kind. He walked through the screen doors and kept going deeper in. It was a passageway to the back, where a large tower stood. The second-story window was half open, and through it, he could see a yellow canopy.
“Someone must be afraid of the cold and is still in bed,” dum-dum thought to himself.
He now climbed up the stairs and pulled back the canopy, but immediately stumbled backward in fright. On an ivory bed lay a white skeleton. The skull was as large as a bushel basket, while the leg bones were four or five feet long.
After collecting himself, Zhu Bajie actually shed a tear as he sighed and said to the bones, “I wonder,
Were you some dynasty’s commander, some kingdom’s top general?
Once a hero who vied for power and victory, but now nothing but a desolate skeleton?
No wife or children to attend you, no officer or soldier to offer incense.
To gaze upon such a sight is truly lamentable.
Pity those who built kingdoms and sought hegemony.”
While he was lamenting, Bajie noticed a flickering light behind the canopy. “Someone must be lighting incense back there,” he thought to himself. So he rushed behind the canopy, but saw that it was just the sunlight peering through the window. But he also noticed a table, on which were scattered several colorful pieces of clothing. He picked them up and saw that they were three brocade vests. He grabbed them, headed back downstairs, and went back outside.
“Master, there’s no one inside. It’s a dead man’s house,” he said to San Zang. “I went inside, went upstairs, and saw a pile of bones inside the bed canopy. And then I saw three brocade vests and took them. It’s our good fortune. It’s cold right now, so these are perfect. Master, put this on underneath your robe so that you can stay warm.”
Uh-huh. So, given everything you’ve encountered on this trip, your first reaction to these vests of mysterious origins that you found next to a pile of bones in an eerily empty house is, “This is our lucky day; let’s put these on”?
San Zang now said, “We cannot. The law says, ‘Whether you take something openly or secretly, it’s theft all the same. If someone finds out and chases us down and takes us to court, we would be convicted of theft. You should put these back where you found them! Let’s just sit here and hide from the wind for a bit. Once Wukong catches up, we’ll keep going. We monks must not be so greedy about such trifles.”
“But there’s nobody else here; who would know except us?!” Bajie complained. “Who would take us to court? And what evidence would they have? It would be like we just found these on the street. What is all this about stealing openly or in secret?!”
“You’re too reckless!” San Zang chided him. “Even if other people wouldn’t know, how can you hide it from heaven?! As the saying goes, ‘You may think you’re alone in a secret chamber, but the eyes of gods pierce through all like lightning.’ Go put these back now. Don’t crave things that weren’t given to you.”
But Bajie put on a smile and said, “Master, since I became mortal, I’ve worn some vests, but nothing as fancy as these. If you don’t want to put one on, then let me try it for just a bit. Once Brother Sun joins us, I’ll take it off, put them back, and we can resume our journey.”
Sha Zeng said, hey I’ll have a go too. So the two of them each put one one of the vests. But as soon as they tightened the strings, they both fell to the ground. In an instant, the vests had tied them both up. San Zang stamped his foot in lament and rushed over to try to help them get the vests off, but to no avail. And just then, while the three of them were panicking, a demon king appeared.
So, as it turns out, this building was in fact created by the demon king’s magic as a trap. That day, he was sitting in his cave when he heard panicked cries outside. He went out and saw that somehow, a party of three was dumb enough to put on clothing they found lying next to a pile of bones. So the demon king called up his lackeys, undid his magical mirage, grabbed San Zang, and took him, the horse, the luggage, and the tied-up Zhu Bajie and Sha Zeng all back to their cave.
The demon king now sat in his throne while his lackeys pushed San Zang onto his knees.
“Monk, where are you from? How dare you steal my clothes in broad daylight?” the demon king asked.
San Zang wept and said, “I am sent by the Tang kingdom in the East to go West to fetch scriptures. I was hungry, so my senior disciple went to beg for food and had not returned yet. I didn’t listen to his instructions and accidentally intruded on your immortal realm while seeking shelter from the wind. My other two disciples got greedy and took these clothes. I would never dare to harbor any ill intentions. I told them to return the clothes at once, but they didn’t listen and wanted to try them on. Who knew that it was your trap? I hope you will be compassionate and spare my life. Once I get the scriptures, I will forever remember your kindness, and sing your praises in the East.”
The demon king laughed. “I have often heard people say that if you eat a piece of the Tang monk’s flesh, silver hair would turn black again, and lost teeth would grow back. What great luck that you’ve delivered yourself to me without an invitation. And you’re hoping I will spare you?!”
So come to think of it, San Zang and company should really just stop introducing themselves as scripture pilgrims sent from the East to go West, considering that every single demon on this route seems to be hankering for a piece of the scripture pilgrim’s immortality-granting flesh.
The demon king now asked San Zang, “What’s your senior disciple’s name? Where did he go to find food?”
Zhu Bajie now cut in and declared, “My brother is Sun Wukong, the Great Sage who turned heaven upside down 500 years ago.”
That namedrop had the intended effect. The name Sun Wukong gave the demon king pause. He didn’t say it, but he thought to himself, “I’ve long heard that he is very powerful. Who knew I would run into him today?”
So he told his lackeys, “Little ones, tie up the Tang monk. As for the other two, remove my magic vests from them and tie them up with ropes. Put them all in the back for now. Once I’ve captured his senior disciple, we’ll wash and cook them all together.”
Again, like I said a couple episodes back, why wait to have immortality later when you can have immortality now? But the demon king’s orders were given, and the lackeys did as he said and tied up the three pilgrims in the back. They also hitched the horse in the kitchen and took the luggage inside. They then sharpened their weapons and prepared to capture Sun Wukong.
Let’s go catch up with Sun Wukong. After sharking some rice, he flew back to the spot on the mountain where the rest of his party were supposed to be waiting. But there was no sign of them, even though the circle he drew still remained. He then turned and saw that the buildings that were visible in the distance before had vanished, and there were only crags and rocks.
Ah crap!
“They must have fallen into a demon’s hands!” Wukong thought to himself with alarm. He then hurriedly followed the horse’s hoof prints west. After a couple miles, he was worrying when he suddenly heard someone talking on a hill to the north. He looked and saw an old man, wearing a coarse felt garment, a warm cap, and a pair of oil-treated boots that were not new but also not worn out yet. Behind the old man followed a young attendant, carrying a sprig of wax plum blossoms. As they walked, the old man was chanting a song.
Wukong set down the alms bowl, approached the duo, and greeted them. The old man returned his greetings and asked where he was coming from. Wukong did the usual introduction and explained that he had gone off to find food for his hungry master, who was supposed to be waiting right here.
The old man chuckled and asked, “Does one of your three companions have a long snout and large ears?”
“Yes, yes!” Wukong replied.
“And is there a glum-looking fellow, leading a white horse and escorting a white-faced, chubby monk?”
“Indeed!”
“You guys picked the wrong road. Don’t look for them anymore; worry about your own life first.”
“That white-faced guy is my master, and the odd-looking ones are my fellow disciples,” Wukong explained. “We have all pledged ourselves to go West to fetch scriptures. How can I not look for them?”
“I was passing through here earlier and saw that they went down the wrong road and stumbled into a demon’s mouth,” the old man said.
“Please tell me, what demon was that? Where does he live?” Wukong asked. “I will go there to claim my companions so we can resume our journey west.”
“This mountain is called Golden Pocket Mountain, and on the front side there is a Golden Pocket Cave,” the old man said. “In that cave lives a Single-Horned Rhino King. He is very powerful and strong. Those three are doomed. If you go looking for them, even you might not survive. So you’re better off not going. I don’t dare to stop you or keep you; it’s all up to you.”
Wukong bowed and said, “Thank you so much for your guidance, but how can I justify not looking for them?” He then gave the rice that he had sharked to the old man and kept the empty alms bowl. The old man put down his cane, accepted the bowl, and handed it to his attendant. The two of them now suddenly kneeled and revealed their true form.
“Great sage!” they shouted. “We dare not deceive you. We two are the local mountain and earth spirits, here to greet you. We will hold on to this bowl of rice for now, so that you may use your powers to rescue the Tang monk. Then we will return this bowl of rice to him, so as to show your respect.”
“You damn two-bit spirits!” Wukong cursed. “Why didn’t you greet me earlier? And what’s with all the cloak-and-dagger stuff?”
The earth spirit said, “Great Sage, you have a short temper. We did not dare to risk insulting you, so we came in disguise.”
“I’ll give you a raincheck on your beating for now,” Wukong said. “But take good care of that bowl while I go capture that demon!”
The mountain and earth spirits obeyed, and Wukong now tied up his tiger-skin kilt, gripped his golden rod, and rushed to the front side of the mountain to look for the demon’s lair. When he went around a cliff, he saw jumbled and jagged rocks, and two stone doors embedded into the cliff side. Out front, there were a bunch of demon lackeys, all wielding swords and spears.
Wukong stomped to the doors and shouted, “You little demons, go tell your master that I am Sun Wukong, the Great Sage Equal to Heaven and disciple to the monk sent by the Tang kingdom. Tell him to deliver my master out at once so that you guys get to hold on to your lives!”
The lackeys rushed into tell their demon lord. The Rhino King was delighted. “I was hoping he would come,” he said. “Since I left my palace and came down to the mortal realm, I haven’t had a chance to test out my fighting skills. Now that he’s here, he will no doubt be a worthy opponent. Little ones, fetch my weapon!”
All the lackeys were pumped, and they brought out a long steel spear. The Rhino King took the spear in hand and told them, “Little ones, get ready. Those who charge forward will be rewarded. Those who fall back will die!”
They then went out to face Sun Wukong. Wukong stood to one side and sized up his opponent. The Rhino King had a vicious appearance, with a single horn rising out of his head and his eyes flashing with a dazzling glare. Thick hide bulged from the crown of his head, while black flesh gleamed around the lobes of his ears. His long tongue could curl up to lick his nose, and his broad mouth revealed rows of yellow teeth. His skin was blue-black like indigo, and his sinews were as hard as steel. His two indigo-blue hands, corded with powerful tendons, gripped a steel-tipped spear upright in heroic majesty.
Wukong approached and shouted, “Your grandaddy Sun is here! Return my master at once, and we can both just walk away unharmed. But if you utter half a no, I will see to it that you die without a place be buried!”
“Damn monkey, you’ve got some gall!” the Rhino King shot back. “What skills do you have that you would dare to make such a boast?!”
“Damn creature, you haven’t seen my skills yet!” Wukong threatened.
The Rhino King now said, “Your master stole my clothes, and I caught him red-handed. Now, I’m going to cook him and eat him. What kind of heroics are you trying to pull, intruding on my mountain lair?!”
“My master is loyal, kind, and honest monk,” Wukong scoffed. He would never steal.”
“I set up a magic house on the side of the road. Your master slipped in, stole my three brocade vests, and put them on. I have evidence; that’s why I captured him. If you have skills, then come fight me. If you can defeat me in three exchanges, I’ll spare your master. Otherwise, I’ll kill you, too!”
Wukong laughed and said, “Damn creature! Enough trash talk. I’m itching for a fight. Come here and taste my rod!”
The Rhino King was also itching for a fight, so he hoisted his spear and charged. The two fought for 30 exchanges without a winner. The Rhino King was so impressed with Sun Wukong’s skills with the rod that even he exclaimed, “What a monkey! Truly you have the skills to raise hell in heaven!”
On the other side, Sun Wukong was equally impressed by the Rhino King’s skills with the spear, and he also shouted, “What a demon! Truly you must have stolen magic pills!”
The two fought on for another 20 exchanges. Then, the Rhino King shouted for his lackeys to join the fight. The lackeys charged forward and surrounded Wukong, but Wukong showed no fear and called out, “Come one, come all! This is perfect!”
With his golden rod dancing this way and that, he parried all the demon lackeys’ attacks. But he was also getting impatient, so he tossed his rod up in the air and shouted, “Change!” The one rod turned into a thousand rods, all attacking from the air. This sent the lackeys running for their lives back into the cave.
The Rhino King scoffed, “Monkey, don’t act up! Watch my skills!”
He now pulled a gleaming hoop from his sleeve and tossed it into the air, shouting, “Strike!” The hoop struck Wukong’s golden rod and took it away, leaving Wukong empty-handed. While Wukong flew away to save himself, the Rhino King returned to his cave in victory.
After fleeing the fight, Wukong landed on the back side of the mountain and started to cry, lamenting yet another calamity for his master. And then he thought to himself, “That demon recognizes me. I remember him saying that I truly had the skills of one who could raise hell in heaven. He must not be a demon from the mortal realm. He has to be a vicious spirit from heaven who sneaked down to the mortal realm. But where did he come from? Let me go up to heaven and check.”
So he flew up to the south gate of heaven and ran into one of the four Heavenly Kings. Wukong told him he had business and needed to see the Jade Emperor. Just then, four of heaven’s commanders showed up and greeted him. They tried to offer him tea, but he declined and went straight in to the palace, where he was greeted by yet more celestial bureaucrats, who asked if he had completed his pilgrimage.
“Not yet, not yet,” he told them. “The journey is long and there are lots of demons. I’m only halfway there. Right now, I’m stuck on Golden Pocket Mountain. There’s a demon there who captured my master. When I fought him, he showed great powers and took away my golden rod. I suspect that he’s a vicious star from above who went down to the mortal realm, but I didn’t know which one. So I came to see the Jade Emperor and hold him responsible for lax discipline.”
One of the gods chuckled, “This monkey is still so unrestrained.”
“Not so. I just like to get to the bottom of things,” Wukong replied.
The bureaucrats now escorted him into the hall. Wukong offered a deep bow to the Jade Emperor and said, “Old buddy. Sorry to trouble you. I wouldn’t go into details about all the trials and tribulations I’ve faced while protecting the Tang monk on his way west. But right now, on Golden Pocket Mountain, there’s a demon in Golden Pocket Cave who captured the Tang monk. That demon is going to steam him, boil him, or pickle him. When I fought against him, that demon seemed to recognize me. And he was quite powerful and made off with my golden rod, making it hard for me to capture him. I suspect he’s one of your people who slipped down to the mortal realm. So I’ve come to inform you. I hope you will exercise compassion and issue a decree and dispatch your celestial forces to capture that demon. I am overcome with trembling fear and the utmost respectful trepidation”
As he finished, Wukong made another deep bow. This made one of the gods laugh and ask, “Monkey, why are you acting so deferential?”
“Well, I lost my rod,” Wukong explained.
Upon hearing Wukong’s request, the Jade Emperor immediately issued a decree for every department to do a head count. Word came back that every god in heaven was accounted for, and no one had snuck down to the mortal realm.
“In that case, let Sun Wukong pick a few celestial generals to help him capture that demon,” the Jade Emperor commanded.
When the four heavenly kings relayed this to Wukong, he said, “Most of these celestial generals are no match for me. When I caused a ruckus in heaven, the Jade Emperor sent 100,000 celestial troops to capture me, but not one of them was my equal. They had to bring in that Erlang in order to find someone equal to my skills. And that demon is even more powerful than me, so how can these guys beat him?”
But one of the gods said, “That was then, this is now. As the saying goes, ‘Everything is subdued by something else. How can you disobey the Jade Emperor’s edict? Hurry up and pick some generals; don’t delay.”
“In that case, I’m truly grateful to the Jade Emperor and would not dare to disobey his edict,” Wukong said. “I shouldn’t come away empty-handed from this trip. Please tell the Jade Emperor to send the Pagoda-Wielding Heavenly King Li Jing (4) and his son Nezha. They also have several demon-taming weapons. So let’s have them go face that demon and see how it goes. If they can capture him, then it’s my great fortune. If not, then we’ll figure out something else.”
So the Jade Emperor issued the command for Li Jing and Nezha to lead an army to help Sun Wukong. When Li Jing met up with Wukong, the latter said to the Jade Emperor’s envoy, “I’m grateful the Jade Emperor sent them. But there’s one more thing I must trouble you about. I would like to have a couple gods of thunder at our disposal. When Li Jing is fighting that demon, have the thunder gods unleash a thunderbolt and strike that fiend on his head.”
The envoy agreed and informed the Jade Emperor, who promptly assigned two members from the Department of Thunder to the mission. This army of celestial reinforcement then followed Wukong and Li Jing down toward the mortal realm. To see how they will fare against the Rhino King, tune in to the next episode of the Chinese Lore Podcast. Thanks for listening!
Music in This Episode
- “Luỹ Tre Xanh Ngát Đầu Làng (Guzheng) – Vietnam BGM” by VPRODMUSIC_Asia_BGM
- “Dark Toys” by SYBS (from YouTube audio library)
- “Ravines” by Elphnt (from YouTube audio library)
- “The Quiet Aftermath by Sir Cubworth (from YouTube audio library)