Journey 062: Sparring Simians
A monkey melee has heaven and hell all in a tizzy, and not even Guanyin can sort this one out!
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Transcript
Welcome to the Chinese Lore Podcast, where I retell classic Chinese stories in English. This is episode 62 of Journey to the West.
Last time, San Zang dismissed Sun Wukong from his service yet again after the latter killed a bunch of bandits. But then, when San Zang was sitting by the side of the road while his two remaining disciples went to find water for him, Sun Wukong came back, knocked him unconscious, and made off with his luggage. Fortunately, San Zang was not seriously hurt, and one of the two remaining disciples, Sha Zeng, went to find Sun Wukong to ask for the luggage back. But when Sha Zeng found Wukong at his home on Flower and Fruit Mountain, Wukong told him, “I’m going to get the scriptures myself, along with this crew,” at which point he trotted out a fake San Zang, a fake Zhu Bajie, a fake Sha Zeng, and a fake horse.
Sha Zeng was enraged when he saw his doppelganger. “I never change my name wherever I go! How can there be another of me?! How dare you be so insolent! Taste my staff!”
At that, he raised his Demon-Taming Staff and brought it down on the head of his doppelganger, who promptly fell dead and reverted to his true form — that of a monkey demon. Sun Wukong was furious. He twirled his golden rod and ordered his monkey minions to surround Sha Zeng. Sha Zeng hurriedly carved out a path and escaped into the air.
Wukong did not bother to give chase. Instead, he ordered his minions to drag the corpse of the dead monkey back to the cave, where they skinned it, cooked its flesh, and ate it with wine. He then picked another monkey minion who could shapeshift and turned him into a new doppelganger of Sha Zeng. They then got back to the business of preparing to embark on their own scripture pilgrimage.
Meanwhile, up in the sky, the real Sha Zeng thought to himself, “That insolent ape has gone too far! Let me go inform the Bodhisattva.”
So he flew from the East Sea to the South Sea in the course of one night. He descended on the Bodhisattva Guanyin’s mountain and was greeted by Guanyin’s disciple Muzha, who asked what he was doing there. Sha Zeng said he had business with Guanyin and requested an audience. Muzha went in to announce him, and came back out shortly to lead him inside.
Sha Zeng kneeled in front of Guanyin, kowtowed, and then was just about to explain his reason for coming when he was startled by the sight of a figure standing next to Guanyin. It was none other than Sun Wukong!
Sha Zeng flew into a rage. He didn’t even bother saying a word, and just raised his staff and attacked Wukong. Wukong did not fight back and instead just dodged his attack.
“You wretched monkey!” Sha Zeng cursed. “You’ve committed the gravest of crimes, and now you’ve come to deceive the Bodhisattva!”
“Sha Zeng, hold on,” Guanyin intervened. “Tell me what the problem is first.”
So Sha Zeng put away his staff, kneeled again, and said angrily, “That monkey committed countless vicious acts on our journey. The day before, he killed a couple bandits at the foot of a mountain. Master was angry with him. That night, we unexpectedly stayed at the home of one of the bandits, and then he killed the rest of that gang and even showed master a bloody head. Master was so scared that he fell off his horse. He cursed the monkey and dismissed him. After we parted ways, master was thirsty and asked Bajie to go find water. When he didn’t return for a long time, master sent me to go look for him. Who knew that while we were gone, Sun Wukong would come back and hit master with his rod and make off with our two blue bundles. After we got back to master and revived him, I went to the Water Curtain Cave to get our bundles back from Sun Wukong. But he refused to even recognize me, and he read master’s travel papers repeatedly. I asked him why, and he said he was going to go to the West himself to get the scriptures, so that he could get the credit for delivering them to the East and be worshipped forever. When I said he couldn’t scriptures without the Tang monk, he brought out doppelgangers of the monk, Bajie, me, and the horse. I killed my imposter, and it turned out to be a monkey demon. Then he attacked me with his horde, so I came to inform the Bodhisattva. But he could do his somersault cloud and got here before me. I don’t know what nonsense he’s been feeding you.”
But Guanyin told Sha Zeng, “Don’t make false accusations. Wukong has been here for four days. I haven’t let him leave, so how could he have found another Tang monk or harbored intents of going to get scriptures himself?”
Now, we know from the last episode that Guanyin spoke the truth and that Sun Wukong had been by her side since he went to look her up after being dismissed by San Zang. So what’s happening here?
That’s what Sha Zeng wanted to know too, so Guanyin said, “Don’t be impatient. I’ll have Wukong accompany you to Flower and Fruit Mountain to have a look. If it’s the real one, he wouldn’t be easy to destroy. But if it’s the fake one, he should be simple enough to get rid of. You’ll see when you get there.”
So Sha Zeng and Wukong took off for the East. But knowing that Wukong would greatly outpace him through the air, Sha Zeng said, “Brother, don’t give yourself away. Go on ahead and lie in wait. Once I get there, we’ll go together.”
When both of them got to Flower and Fruit Mountain, they went to the cave to have a close look. And sure enough, they saw a second Sun Wukong, sitting high atop a stone platform and drinking with a bunch of other monkeys. This second Wukong looked exactly like the first, from his appearance to his clothing, to his weapon of choice.
Wukong … umm … the one who came with Sha Zeng, was outraged. He ditched his companion, stormed forward with rod in hand, and cursed, “What demon are you? How dare you assume my form, take over my tribe, occupy my cave, and make merry like this?!”
The other Wukong didn’t bother answering, and just greeted him with rod in hand. The two stood face to face, and no one could tell them apart. They both flew up into the sky and fought amidst the clouds.
Sha Zeng, meanwhile, dared not intervene and just looked on as they fought. He thought about joining in, but wasn’t sure which one to help and which one to attack. But he couldn’t just stand and watch anymore. So he leaped down from the cliff and charged over to the cave entrance. He scattered the monkeys there, and proceeded to flip over the stone table and smash all the dining ware. He then looked around for the blue bundles, but could not find them.
As it turns out, he was fooled by the waterfall that ran over the cave entrance. From a distance, it looked like a length of white fabric. Up close, it revealed itself to be a waterfall, but it hid the cave entrance. Sha Zeng didn’t know his way around, so he had no idea where to look. He had no choice but to fly back up into the sky to watch the battle of the monkey kings.
In the midst of the fighting, one of the Wukongs said, “Sha Zeng, you can’t help me. So go back to master and tell him what happened. I’ll fight this demon all the way to Guanyin’s mountain so she can tell us apart.”
But no sooner had he said this that the other Sun Wukong said the same thing, and sounded just like him. Unable to tell them apart, Sha Zeng had no choice but to turn around and head back to San Zang.
Meanwhile, the two Sun Wukongs fought all the way to the South Sea, where they descended on Mount Potalaka and continued to fight and curse each other all the way to Guanyin’s cave. When Guanyin got word from her people that two squabbling Sun Wukongs had showed up on her doorstep, she came out with her disciples and shouted, “Beast, don’t run away!”
But nobody was running away. Instead, the two Sun Wukongs grabbed each other and approached her, and one of them said, “Bodhisattva, this fiend looks just like me. We started fighting at the Water Curtain Cave, and haven’t settled things. Sha Zeng is cursed with foolish mortal eyes and can’t tell us apart, so he couldn’t help. I told him to go back to inform master, while I fought this fiend here to ask for your sage eyes to tell us apart.”
But then the other Wukong said the exact same thing. Guanyin and her posse looked at the two for a long time but couldn’t tell them apart.
“Let go of each other, and stand one to each side, so that I can take another look at you,” Guanyin told them. So the two Wukongs let go of each other, each stood to one side, and both claiming to be the real one while insisting the other was the fake.
Guanyin whispered her disciples Muzha and Red Boy, “Each of you take hold of one of them, and I’ll secretly recite the band-tightening spell. Whoever’s head hurts is the real one, and the one whose head doesn’t hurt is the fake.”
So Muzha and Red Boy each grabbed one of the monkeys, and Guanyin started reciting the spell. But both Sun Wukongs simultaneously cried out in pain, clutched their heads, and started rolling on the ground, begging for her to stop. As soon as she stopped reciting the spell, both of them sprang to their feet, grabbed hold of each other, and resumed squabbling like before.
Guanyin had no idea what to do, so she told her disciples and attendees to help, but they weren’t sure which was the real one, so they did not dare to attack. When Guanyin called out Sun Wukong’s name, both Wukongs responded the same way.
“You were once in charge of the celestial stables, and all the gods in heaven know you from the ruckus you caused,” she told them. “Go up to heaven to ask them to settle this.”
Uh huh. Way to pass the buck here, Guanyin. Do we actually expect the paper pushers in heaven to be able to tell these guys apart when you couldn’t? But in any case, both Wukongs thanked her, for nothing, and flew up toward heaven.
When they got up to the southern gate of heaven, the sight of two squabbling Sun Wukongs alarmed the celestial generals and other gods guarding the gate. They blocked the monkeys’ path and told them to keep it down. One of the Wukongs explained why they had come, and asked the gods to help sort them out. These guys looked at the monkeys for a long time but to no avail, so both Wukongs hissed, “Since you can’t tell us apart, get out of the way. Let us go see the Jade Emperor!”
The gods couldn’t stop them, so they opened the gates and allowed the two Wukongs to go to the main hall. When the Jade Emperor heard and saw TWO Sun Wukongs coming into his hall, he was so scared that he descended from his throne and asked, “What are you two doing here?! Are you looking for death?!”
One of the Wukongs recounted the story, and then the other one repeated it as well. The Jade Emperor now ordered his celestial commander Li Jing to bring out his Demon-Reflecting Mirror, which is supposed to be able to reveal the true form of any demons. Li Jing pointed his mirror at the monkeys, and everybody looked. But the mirror showed two Sun Wukongs, identical in appearance, and wearing the same clothes.
Unable to tell them apart, the Jade Emperor told them to get out of here. One Wukong chuckled, and the other laughed as well, and then two left heaven while battling each other. Eventually, they descended on the main road West and said, “Let’s go see master!”
By now, it had been three nights since Sha Zeng first left the two dueling Sun Wukongs. He rushed back to the mountain hut where San Zang was staying and told him what happened. San Zang said with regret, “I thought Sun Wukong had hit me and stole my luggage. Turns out it was a demon posing as him!”
Sha Zeng then told him how the fake Sun Wukong had also produced doppelgangers of each of the pilgrims. San Zang was stunned and went pale, but Zhu Bajie roared with laughter, “Great! Turns out the old woman of this house was right when she said there were several groups of scripture pilgrims.”
The residents of the house now came to ask Sha Zeng where he had gone off to. He laughed and told them, “I went to Flower and Fruit Mountain on the Eastern Continent to ask my big brother for our luggage. Then I went to the South Sea to find the Bodhisattva Guanyin on Mount Potalaka, and then I went back to Flower and Fruit Mountain. I got back just now.”
“How far did you travel?” they asked him.
“Oh about 200,000 miles.”
“Grandaddy! How could you have covered such a distance in a matter of a few days? You would’ve had to fly!”
“If he couldn’t fly, how could he cross the seas?” Bajie cut in.
“What I did was nothing,” Sha Zeng said. “If it were my big brother, he would only need a day or two.”
Their hosts were amazed and started calling them gods, but Bajie told them, “We may not be gods or immortals, but they are our juniors!”
Just then, they heard shouting from the air, so they rushed out to have a look. They saw the two Sun Wukongs coming this way, fighting each other. Zhu Bajie flew up into the sky and shouted, “Brother, no need to make noise. I’m coming!”
Both Wukongs replied in unison, “Brother, come beat this demon!”
Down below, the residents of the thatched hut were even more delighted. They said, “We’ve got several flying arhats at our house. Even if we put on a feast for monks, we would not attract such figures!”
So they treated San Zang to even more tea and rice. But at the same time, they were worried that there would be trouble if the matter of the two Sun Wukongs could not be resolved. San Zang assured the old man of the house, “Old benefactor, please don’t worry. Once I have taken back my disciple and eliminated the evil, we will thank you.”
“Oh no need, no need!” the old man said.
Sha Zeng now said, “Benefactor, don’t worry. Master, you sit here, and I’ll go with Brother Zhu. We’ll each bring one of the monkeys before you, and you recite the spell, and see which one’s head hurts. That’ll be the real one, and the one whose head doesn’t hurt is the fake.”
“Quite right,” San Zang said.
Well, as we already know, however, that was actually quite wrong. A few minutes later, both Sun Wukongs were rolling on the ground in pain and pleading for San Zang to stop. As soon as he stopped reciting the spell, both monkeys leaped back up to their feet and started fighting again, and then the two of them said, “Brothers, protect master, and I’ll take this fiend to the Kings of Hell to sort it out!”
After the two quarreling monkeys vanished from sight, Zhu Bajie asked Sha Zeng, “Hey, since you were at the Water Curtain Cave and saw my doppelganger carrying our luggage, why didn’t you take them back?”
“That demon saw me kill my doppelganger and ordered his minions to swarm me,” Sha Zeng said. “So I had to run away to tell the Bodhisattva. Then I went back to the cave with Brother Sun. While the two of them fought in the air, I went and smashed up his table and scattered his minions. But I only saw a roaring waterfall. I didn’t know where the cave entrance was, so I couldn’t find our luggage and had to come back emptyhanded.”
“Ah, so you didn’t know where to go,” Bajie said. “That year, when I went to ask Sun Wukong to come back, I first met him outside the cave entrance. But then after I insulted him, he jumped down into the water, went into his cave, changed clothes, and came back out. I saw him duck into the waterfall. The cave entrance must be behind that waterfall.”
“Since you know where the door is, you should go while he’s not there,” Sha Zeng said. “Go into the cave and retrieve the bundles. Then let’s just keep going West. Even if he comes back later, we wouldn’t need him.”
Riiiight, because those two bundles are SO much more critical to the success of your journey than Sun Wukong. You know what, Sha Zeng? I think I see why you’re ranked only above the horse in the pecking order here.
But anyway, Bajie now volunteered to go after the luggage, but Sha Zeng cautioned him about the thousand-plus monkey minions. But Zhu Bajie laughed it off and hurriedly flew off toward Flower and Fruit Mountain.
Meanwhile, all hell had broken loose in … umm … hell. All the ghosts of the underworld were running for cover, and some of them dashed into the hall of the Kings of Hell and said, “My lord, there are two Sun Wukongs fighting on the back of the Nether Mountain and they’re heading this way!”
The first King of Hell panicked and quickly summoned his nine colleagues. Momentarily, all 10 Kings of Hell had assembled. They also alerted the Bodhisattva Ksitigarbha (Ksheeteegarbuh). Now this guy was apparently known for his vow to delay his own ascension to Buddhahood until all the realms of hell have been emptied. I’m guessing he might be having second thoughts about that vow, but nonetheless, it basically made him the bodhisattva of hell.
Anyway, amid a roaring gale and a grim fog, the two Sun Wukongs crashed into the Hall of Hell. One of the Underworld bureaucrats asked why they were there. One of the Wukongs recounted the story and said, “I would like to ask you to search the registers of the living and dead to see where this fake Sun Wukong came from, so that you can hurry up and claim his soul.” The other Wukong then promptly said likewise, so the civil servants of hell got busy flipping through all the registries. But they couldn’t find any mention of a “Fake Sun Wukong”. Then they searched the registries for lower animals, but hey, remember when Sun Wukong first visited hell all those years ago and decided to cross out the names of all his simian brethrens from the rolls? That made all monkeys immortal — aside from when they get a Demon-Taming Staff to the head — but it also made it impossible to find any individual monkeys in these registries.
So the clerks told the Sun Wukongs, “Great Sage, we couldn’t find the name you’re looking for. You should go back to the land of the living to sort this out.”
Just then, though, the Bodhisattva of Hell said, “Hold on. Let me have the Truth Hearer take a listen.”
So, this Truth Hearer was one of the animals that hung out under this bodhisattva’s scripture desk. When it put its ear to the ground, it could hear everything across the Four Continents, be it mountains, rivers, heaven, earth, creatures, or immortals of any stripes.
So this creature now listened to the ground, and then lifted its head and said, “I have the name of the demon, but I cannot disclose it in front of him, and we cannot help capture him.”
“What would happen if we disclose his name in front of him?” the bodhisattva asked.
“That demon might act up and cause a disturbance in the halls of hell,” the Truth Hearer said.
“And why can’t we help capture him?” the bodhisattva asked again.
“That demon is as powerful as the Great Sage. What powers do the gods of the Underworld possess? That’s why we can’t help capture him.”
“So how can we eliminate him?”
“The Buddha’s powers are boundless,” the Truth Hearer intoned.
That made the light bulb in the bodhisattva’s head come on. He told the two Wukongs, “You look exactly alike and have exactly the same powers. If you want to clear this up, you must go to the Thunderclap Temple to see the Buddha.”
Oh yeah, the all-powerful Numero Uno deity that we should’ve escalated to once Guanyin couldn’t tell us apart. Why were we even wasting time in heaven and hell? Anyway, both Sun Wukongs agreed, so the minions of hell saw them out and shut the doors of the Underworld behind them.
The two Wukongs now clutched each other and kept fighting all the way to the Thunderclap Temple in the West. They told the various arhats and such why they were there. They then squabbled their way to the dais where the Buddha sat. They kowtowed and recounted the story. No one present could tell them apart — no one except the Buddha. He knew which was which, but before he could call out the imposter, he saw Guanyin arriving on the scene and paying her respects.
“Guanyin, do you know which of these two is the real Sun Wukong?” the Buddha asked her.
“Yesterday at my pitiful abode, I couldn’t tell them apart,” Guanyin replied. “They then went to heaven and hell, but no one could tell them apart either. So I have come to inform you and ask that you clear this up.”
The Buddha laughed and said, “As powerful as you all are, you can still only survey all that happens beneath the heavens. You cannot know every creature that exists, nor can you fully comprehend every kind of being in the universe.”
Guanyin asked him for guidance on this matter, and the Buddha explained, “Beneath heaven, there are five orders of immortals: the Celestial, the Earthly, the Divine, the Human, and the Ghostly. There are five classes of creatures: shell-bearing, scaled, furred, feathered, and insects. This fiend belongs to none of those groups. There are, in fact, four monkeys who confound the world that don’t belong to any of those 10 categories.”
Guanyin asked him who were those four monkeys, and the Buddha said, “The first is the Numinous Stone Monkey. He is a master of transformations, understands the movements of heaven and the advantages of the Earth, and can shift the stars and alter the constellations.
“The second is the Red-Bottomed Horse Monkey. He understands the yin and yang and the affairs of mankind. He can come and go at will and evade death and prolong life.
“The third is the Long-Armed Ape. He can seize the sun and the moon, compress a thousand mountains, tell good fortune from bad, and play with heaven and earth.
“The fourth is the Six-Eared Macaque. He has keen hearing, can perceive every sound, discern the principles behind all things, know the past and future, and understand everything under heaven.
“These four monkeys do not belong to any of the 10 categories, and have no recognized designation between heaven and earth. I think the fake Sun Wukong is the Six-Eared Macaque. If that monkey remains standing in any one place, it can know what is happening a thousand miles away. It can hear everything people say. That’s why it can perceive every sound, discern every principle, know the past and future, and understand all things. Yes, the imposter who looks and sounds just like Sun Wukong is none other than the Six-Eared Macaque!”
In that moment, one of the Sun Wukongs leaped up and ran. This was indeed the Six-Eared Macaque. Seeing his cover blown, he tried to flee, but found himself surrounded by all of Buddha’s disciples, and the Sun Wukong was also itching to get in on the action.
“Wukong, don’t make a move,” the Buddha said. “I will capture him for you.”
The Six-Eared Macaque was scared for his life. He quickly turned into a bee and flew upward. But the Buddha chucked a golden bowl at it, and it covered the bee on its way down to the floor.
Nobody else saw this and thought the macaque had escaped. But the Buddha laughed and told them, “Everyone, be quiet. That demon hasn’t escaped. He is under my bowl.”
His followers lifted up the bowl and indeed, the Six-Eared Macaque was under it. Sun Wukong couldn’t help himself. He swung his golden rod and brought it down on the macaque’s head, killing it instantly and causing its kind’s extinction from that moment forth.
“Mercy, mercy!” the Buddha exclaimed.
“You shouldn’t take pity on him,” Wukong scoffed. “He injured my master and stole our luggage. According to the law, he deserves to be executed for robbing and hurting people!”
“You should hurry back to the Tang monk and help him come here for scriptures,” the Buddha said, resigned to the circumstances.
But Wukong kowtowed and said, “I must inform you: Master definitely would not want me back. If I go back to him this time and he still refuses me, then it would be a waste of effort! I hope you will do me a favor, recite the band-loosening spell, and take back this golden hoop and let me go home.”
“Stop thinking crazy thoughts, and don’t act up,” the Buddha said. “I’ll have Guanyin go back with you, and the Tang monk will no doubt take you back. Protect him carefully. The day you accomplish your mission, you, too, will get to sit on a lotus dais.”
To see if Guanyin can play peacemaker between master and pupil again, tune in to the next episode of the Chinese Lore Podcast. Thanks for listening!
Music in This Episode
- “Luỹ Tre Xanh Ngát Đầu Làng (Guzheng) – Vietnam BGM” by VPRODMUSIC_Asia_BGM
- “Ravines” by Elphnt (from YouTube audio library)