Gods 083: Litany of Crimes
The rebel forces come face to face with their chief enemy, and Jiang Ziya’s got receipts.
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Transcript
Welcome to the Chinese Lore Podcast, where I retell classic Chinese stories in English. This is episode 83 of Investiture of the Gods.
Last time, the combined forces of the nobles were knocking on the doors of the Shang capital. After a last-ditch defensive battle by the Shang army failed miserably, King Zhou consented to sending the veteran general Yin (1) Pobai (4,4) to try to convince the nobles to disband by … umm … appealing to their sense of honor or something. But when this predictably futile attempt failed predictably, Yin Pobai decided that he had nothing to lose. So in the Zhou command tent, he said sternly to Jiang Ziya:
“Commander, your arguments are biased! I have heard it said that if the lord or father is at fault, then the vassal or son should admonish him gently and guide him back to the proper path. If that doesn’t work, then they must admonish him plainly, even if it risks drawing the lord’s wrath and resulting in death, or humiliation, or imprisonment and exile. But the vassal must not lose sight of his role. I have never heard of a case of a vassal exposing his lord’s faults, a son publicizing his father’s misdeeds, all while still claiming to be a vassal or son. You attribute all that is good to the Zhou and all that is bad to your lord. You yourself are not virtuous in the first place. Your former king was imprisoned for seven years, but he was allowed to go home, whereupon he cultivated his virtue and never uttered an ill word against his lord, on account of his lord’s kindness to him. That is why the whole land praised his virtue. But then when you and his son took control, you conspired with the nobles of the land, falsely accused your lord of wrongdoing, rose up in rebellion, destroyed cities, slaughtered soldiers and officers, covered the fields with their white bones and red blood, destroyed the people’s lives, caused unrest everywhere, imperiled fathers and sons, and separated husbands from wives. These are your wicked deeds. You’re a disgrace to your late king, and you have committed crimes against all under heaven AND their descendants. No number of filial sons and obedient grandchildren can cleanse your stain of treason. My capital still has more than 100,000 soldiers and hundreds of officers. If we put up a fight, who knows what the outcome would be? How dare you disrespect the king?!”
As Yin Pobai railed, all the nobles in the tent were enraged by his insults. Before Jiang Ziya could respond, the Grand Duke of the East, Jiang Wenhuan, stomped forth with sword drawn, pointed at Yin Pobai and cursed, “You’re a top official. Yet, you failed to advise your lord properly and lead him in the right direction. And now, you have brought the country to ruin. Instead of being ashamed of yourself, you dare to come here and wag your tongue in front of all the nobles?! You’re worse than a dog! Death is too good for you! Get out of here now, and I’ll spare you!”
Jiang Ziya hurriedly tried to calm him down, saying, “Even when two countries are at war, they still exchange envoys. We each serve our own lord, so there’s no reason to bicker here over that.”
But Jiang Wenhuan was still fuming. Meanwhile, Yin Pobai had also become enraged. He stood up and cursed back at the Grand Duke, “Your father conspired with the queen to betray the king. He deserved to die! Instead of cultivating your virtue to atone for your father’s crimes, you are supporting a rebellion. Like father, like son, I guess! I may not be able to kill you rebels for my lord, but I will kill you all as a ghost when I die!”
That was the last straw for Jiang Wenhuan. His face flushed, he raised his sword and cursed, “Old scoundrel! It was all because of the doings of you wicked villains that my father was cut to pieces and the queen was killed. I must kill you to avenge my father!”
As he spoke, he brought his sword down. Before Jiang Ziya could check him, Yin Pobai was already lying on the floor in two pieces.
All the nobles cheered, but Jiang Ziya scolded Jiang Wenhuan, “Yin Pobai was a top official of the king. He came to seek a truce. By killing him so rashly, you have given them the moral high ground.”
“That scoundrel dared to wag his tongue in front of the nobles,” Jiang Wenhuan retorted. “It was too despicable. If I didn’t kill him, it would have killed me.”
In any case, as things stood, there wasn’t much Jiang Ziya could do. So he just had his men take Yin Pobai’s body out and gave him a fine burial. And then he got back to the business of planning a siege on the capital.
Inside the city, King Zhou was discussing the state of affairs with his officials when word came that Yin Pobai had been killed. The dead general’s son, Yin Chengxiu (2,4), wept and said to the king, “Even when two states are at war, they don’t kill each other’s messengers. How dare the rebels kill a royal envoy? This is the height of treason. I’m willing to risk my life to avenge my father and your highness.”
King Zhou consented, so Yin Chengxiu led an army out to the Zhou camp and demanded battle. Jiang Wenhuan came out to meet him. When he saw who it was on the other side, he said to his foe, “So you are Yin Chengxiu? Your father didn’t know any better and wagged his tongue and insulted Commander Jiang, so I killed him. And now you’re here to offer up your life too.”
Yin Chengxiu fumed, “How dare you?! Even states at war don’t kill each other’s envoys. My father came on the king’s command to seek peace, but met his end at your wicked hands. This shall not stand! I’m going to cut you to pieces to avenge him!”
And so, Yin Chengxiu galloped at Jiang Wenhuan, and they started hacking at each other. But Jiang Wenhuan was one of the mightiest warriors of the East, and he cut down Yin Chengxiu after 30-some exchanges. He cut off his opponent’s head and reported back to Jiang Ziya.
Word of Yin Chengxiu’s fate soon reached King Zhou, and it was immediately followed by reports that the enemy had started laying siege on all four sides of the city. Before King Zhou could say anything, the officer Lu Renjie said, “I will personally go to the city walls to oversee our defenses. Let’s put out the immediate fire, and then worry about the next step.”
So Lu Renjie went to lead the city’s defense, and to his credit, the Shang soldiers were able to repel this initial attack, prompting Jiang Ziya to call his army back to camp. Jiang Ziya then said to his officers, “Lu Renjie is a loyal, courageous man. He’s doing his utmost to defend the city, so it’ll be hard to sack it quickly. The city also has sturdy walls. A frontal assault is a waste of effort. We must take it by guile.”
His Daoist followers said, “Let us fast-travel into the city. Then we can work together on the inside and out to bring it down. There’s no need to slug it out with them out here.”
“No,” Jiang Ziya said. “If you all go into the city, it would be hard to avoid hurting innocent civilians. They cannot be subject to this brutality. Besides, the residents of the capital have all recently suffered at King Zhou’s hands. If we add to their suffering by killing them, we would be harming the people rather than saving the people.”
Then, an idea came to him. “The civilians have suffered so much at the hands of King Zhou that they detest him and wish they could eat his flesh and sleep on his skin,” Jiang Ziya told his men. “Why don’t we attach a declaration on an arrow and fire it into the city to warn the people of our arrival. That will induce panic, and the city will be ours before long.”
All the officers praised his strategy, so Jiang Ziya wrote up an announcement and had his men make dozens of copies and fire them into the city. Soldiers and civilians alike inside the city found the letters, which said:
“An announcement to the people of the capital, from the commander of the divine army: Heaven loves the people, and a sage lord is the people’s father and mother. He should protect them and govern the country wisely. But King Zhou is tyrannical and unjust. He has caused suffering, neglected his country, done away with propriety, killed the loyal, ignored admonitions, devised the burning pillars and the snake pits, and committed atrocities that have drawn the wrath of men and gods alike. And instead of showing remorse, he has committed yet more crimes, cutting off people’s legs, slicing open pregnant women, and killing their fetuses. How can the innocent be subjected to such brutality? On heaven’s command, we have convened the nobles to wage war against this tyrant to rescue the people. But our Martial King is known throughout the land for his compassion and virtue. We initially wanted to attack the city, but we pity your suffering and fear that you might be harmed if the city is sacked. So you all should surrender the capital at once, so as to avoid calamity and put an end to your suffering. Take action quickly; don’t delay and regret it.”
As you can imagine, there were more than a few willing souls inside the capital who were on board with this suggestion. So around midnight that night, giant swarms of civilians and soldiers rose up, flung open the city gates, sprinted outside and shouted, “We the civilians and soldiers of the capital have offered up our city to the real king.”
Jiang Ziya was sleeping in his tent when he awoke to this noise. When his men reported that the people of the capital had surrendered their city, he was delighted and immediately sent orders to his officers that only 50,000 soldiers were allowed to enter each gate, while the rest of the army must remain outside and not disturb the civilians. Those who do enter the city must not harm anyone or loot anything, on the penalty of death. And so, Jiang Ziya’s forces marched into the city in good order, and gathered outside the royal palace, ready for one last push to finish the job.
Inside the palace, King Zhou was, if you can believe this, partying with Daji and his other she-demons when he heard the chaos outside. He panicked and asked the attendants what was happening. Soon, someone came in and said, “The people and soldiers of the capital have surrendered the city. All the nobles’ forces are gathered outside the palace gates.”
King Zhou hurriedly got dressed and assembled his officials to seek their counsel. The commander Lu Renjie and others said, “The city has fallen, and the enemy is right outside the palace. We have no choice but to fight a battle with our backs to the wall. We may yet prevail. Otherwise, we can do nothing but wait for death.”
King Zhou agreed and assembled his royal guard. Meanwhile, Jiang Ziya assembled the nobles and said, “Now that we’re in the city, we must fight a battle against King Zhou to finish the job. Everyone must do their utmost.”
Everyone shouted their agreement, so Jiang Ziya ordered the army to line up. Inside the palace, King Zhou heard the sounds of drums and gongs, followed by reports from his attendant that the nobles were asking for him by name. So he donned his armor, grabbed his golden saber, and rode out with his royal guard, protected by Lu Renjie and a couple other officers. The palace gates opened, and out streamed a parade of dragon and phoenix banners, and then the king and his entourage.
On the other side, two red banners led the way, and all the officers and nobles followed in pairs, lining up in good order, looking ready for this final fight. Under a giant red canopy was Jiang Ziya, seated atop his Four-Not-Like, clad in armor and holding his sword. Next to him was the Martial King Ji Fa, flanked by the other Grand Dukes.
King Zhou now rode out to the front. He was wearing a phoenix helmet, an interlocking suit of golden armor, and a red battle robe, looking quite fearsome. Remember, as a young man, King Zhou was renowned for his strength, so he was no slouch on the battlefield.
Jiang Ziya now bowed and said, “My lord, pardon me for not paying my full respects, as I’m clad in armor.”
“Are you Jiang Ziya?” King Zhou asked.
“I am.”
“You used to be my official. Why did you flee to Western Qi to help the rebels insult your lord? And now you have convened the nobles of the land to encroach on my territory, disobeying my laws, and acting unjustly. You also killed my envoy. Those are unpardonable crimes! If I don’t kill you today, I will not retreat!”
But Jiang Ziya retorted, “If your highness had behaved in a manner befitting a king, then all the nobles would have defended their territories as they should, and all the people would have tended to their labor as they should. You would have all the prosperity and peace you could possibly have, and all under heaven would rightly belong to you. Who would dare to compete with you? Yet, you have disrespected heaven, acted unjustly, brutalized the civilians, killed your officials, listened only to your women, and indulged in sex and alcohol. You have disregarded your officials and made enemies of everyone. You have long since stopped acting like a king. So how can the nobles, your vassals, and your people treat you like one? Your crimes are immense and have offended both heaven and the people. So on heaven’s command, I am leading a campaign to bring you to justice.”
“What crimes have I committed?” King Zhou asked.
Umm … you sure you want to ask that question? Well, Jiang Ziya now said, “Nobles of the land, be quiet and listen as I enumerate King Zhou’s crimes for all to hear.”
As all the nobles perked up and tuned in, he continued:
“The king’s foremost duty is to be the father and mother of the people and to rule them wisely. Yet you have indulged in women and wine, blasphemed heaven, neglected your ancestral temples, and ignored your country. You declared, “I own the people, so I own destiny.” You keep gentlemen at a distance while letting wicked men into your inner circle. You disdain virtue and are the most wicked king since ancient times. That is your first capital offense.
“The queen is the mother of the country. Yet, without her having done anything wrong, you listened to Daji’s slander and turned your back on her. You blinded her and scalded her hands, leading to her death. You discarded your rightful queen and elevated your she-demon in her place and enabled her to act most improperly. That is your second capital offense.
“The crown prince is the successor to the throne, and one that all the people look up to. Yet, listening to slander, you sent your generals to arrest him and his brother, and sentenced them to death. You ignored what your ancestors have done to create your dynasty. That is your third capital offense.
“Veteran officials are crucial to the country. Yet you have subjected them to torture, executing them by your burning pillars, and humiliating them through enslavement. They were just doing their duty in pointing out your errors and guiding you, yet you subjected them to worse punishments than criminals, severing the tie between king and officials. That is your fourth capital offense.
“Honesty is the foundation of human existence. As king reigning over all, you must not utter even one false word. Yet, listening to Daji’s wicked scheme, you tricked the grand dukes to the capital and executed two of them without cause. One was cut to pieces, while the other lost his head. In doing so, you lost the trust of all the nobles. That is your fifth capital offense.
“The law must be applied justly, and punishment meted out fairly. One must not go beyond what is deserved. Yet you listened to Daji’s cruel advice and created the burning pillars to silence the loyal. You created the snake pit to eat your servants. The howls of their spirits echo across the land, making heaven and earth weep and drawing the wrath of men and gods. That is your sixth capital offense.
“Natural resources and national wealth are always limited. They should not be squandered extravagantly. But you insisted on building pleasure towers, wine pools, and meat forests. In the process, you killed your servants. You expended great resources to build the Deer Terrace, exhausting the wealth of the land and the strength of your people. You also allowed Chong (2) Houhu (2,3) to exploit the people, forcing those who could not pay into hard labor. The people’s lives have degenerated, and theft is rampant, thanks to your example. That is your seventh capital offense.
“Chastity is our strongest defense against violation of the rites. As master of the country, the king must watch himself closely. But you listened to Daji, lured Flying Tiger’s wife to the Star-Picking Tower and harassed her, forcing her to commit suicide to preserve her chastity. When Concubine Huang admonished you, you threw her off the tower to her death. That is your eighth capital offense.
“Good conduct is of the utmost importance for a lord; one must not act impulsively. Yet you have killed and tortured for mere entertainment. You cut off the legs of two men and sliced open the wombs of pregnant women. What did they do to deserve such torment? That is your ninth capital offense.
“A king must exercise restraint in pleasure, but you have taken that she-demon Hu (2) Ximei (3,4) to accompany you and Daji in your debauchery at the Deer Terrace. On Daji’s instigation, you drank soup cooked with the kidneys of virgin boys to increase your sex drive. You brutalized the young for your own selfish desire. That is your tenth capital offense.
“Even though I have enumerated your crimes, you will no doubt refuse to reflect on your wrongdoings and the suffering they have caused. Your people have died by the tens of thousands, their bones exposed to the elements, and yet you won’t spare a thought for them. What did they do to deserve your cruelty? Now, on heaven’s command, I am helping the Martial King lead a campaign to bring you to justice.”
That speech left King Zhou fuming and unable to speak, while all the nobles shouted in union, “Let’s kill this unjust tyrant!” At that moment, Jiang Wenhuan, the Grand Duke of the East, roared, “King Zhou, don’t you run! Here I come!”
He galloped out and shouted, “You cut my father to pieces, and you blinded and scalded my sister until she died. Today, with the Martial King’s army and Commander Jiang’s help, I will avenge them!”
The Grand Duke of the South, E (1) Shun (4), also rode out and roared, “You tyrant! You killed my father. Prepare to die! Brother Jiang, let me have this!”
He rode out to the front and shouted at King Zhou, “You are a tyrant. My father did nothing wrong, and yet you killed him!”
As he spoke E Shun raised his spear and stabbed. King Zhou countered with his saber, while Jiang Wenhuan also joined in the fight. Seeing this, the Grand Duke of the North, Chong (2) Yingluan (4,2), also joined the fight against King Zhou. King Zhou, however, showed no sign of fear and took them all on in a fierce struggle.
As he watched, the Martial King Ji Fa lamented, “Because the king was unjust, the nobles gathered here. And now, they’re fighting the king without regard to their roles as vassals. This is so inappropriate. All order have disappeared.”
So he rode up to Jiang Ziya and said, “The three Grand Dukes should still respect the king. How can they fight him? It’s completely inappropriate for vassals.”
But Jiang Ziya was like, dude did you not just hear me list all the horrible things the king did?
“He has offended heaven and earth, men and gods,” Jiang Ziya said. “All under heaven should wage war on him. That is in accordance with heaven’s command to exterminate the unjust. How can I dare to disobey heaven?”
“The king may have lost his way, but we are still his vassals, so how can we face off against our lord?” Ji Fa retorted. “You must stop this.”
“In that case, I can have the soldiers beat the drums,” Jiang Ziya said.
Ji Fa nodded, somehow not aware that in battle, drums were the signal to advance while gongs meant retreat. So he just unwittingly gave Jiang Ziya permission to order a charge. As the drums rolled, nobles and officers alike swarmed forward and surrounded King Zhou.
Seeing this, the Shang commander Lu Renjie said to his two fellow officers, “When the king is troubled, his officials are humiliated. We should do our utmost to repay the country right now. Let’s put our lives on the line and fight this out. Don’t let the rebels show off!”
So the three of them charged into the melee. Meanwhile, despite being surrounded, King Zhou was holding his own and fighting without fear. Suddenly, with one swing, he cut down E Shun, the Grand Duke of the South.
But now, the Daoist warriors from the Zhou side poured into the fray as Nezha, Yang Jian, Thunderbolt, Wei Hu, Jinzha and Muzha joined the fight. Nezha struck Lu Renjie with his Universal Ring and killed him, while Yang Jian and Thunderbolt slew Lu Renjie’s two comrades.
Meanwhile, the Grand Duke of the East, Jiang Wenhuan, latched his saber, pulled out his short steel staff, and swung at King Zhou. King Zhou tried to dodge the blow, but it was too late, and he took a strike squarely on his back. He nearly fell off his horse, but managed to stay in the saddle and fled back inside the palace. The nobles gave chase, but the palace gates were tightly shut, so they returned to camp.
Once they had regrouped, Jiang Ziya did a head count and found that they had lost 26 officers, AND the Grand Duke of the South was dead, which made everyone sad. Ji Fa now said to everyone, “Today’s battle was a total disregard of the proper roles of king and vassals. And Grand Duke Jiang struck our lord with his staff. I really can’t bear to see it.”
Jiang Wenhuan, however, made no apologies. “My lord, you’re mistaken,” he said. “King Zhou is a brutal tyrant who has drawn the wrath of men and gods. He deserves to be killed in the streets. He doesn’t deserve your pity!”
And honestly, I don’t know how everyone else wasn’t just totally fed up with Ji Fa being a wet blanket by now. In any case, inside the palace, King Zhou limped back into the main hall, smarting from the blow he took. He sat with his head bowed in silence, lamenting, “Oh how I regret not listening to loyal advice, leading to today’s humiliation. Pity Lu Renjie and the others who have lost their lives.”
Now, two of his remaining ministers, Fei Lian and E (4) Lai (2), came and did more bootlicking, telling him, “Your highness was divine. Even though you were surrounded by tens of thousands of enemies, you managed to cut down numerous well-known rebels. It was just by coincidence that Jiang Wenhuan managed to injure you. But you just need a few days to recover, and then you can fight again and you will win for sure. As the old sayings go, ‘Blessed are the blessed,’ and ‘Victory and defeat are commonplace in war.’ There’s no need to be too concerned.”
But even King Zhou was not delusional enough to buy those words. He sighed, “All the loyal and good men are gone. We only have a few officials and officers left. And I am injured. How can we fight again?”
And then, he took off his armor and retired to his private quarters. Once he left, Fei Lian said to E Lai, “The enemy is right outside the palace gates. We have no army inside, and no reinforcements are coming from the outside. The end is near. What will become of us? If the enemy breaks into the palace, everyone will perish. All our riches will belong to others!”
But E Lai chuckled. “Brother, you’re so dense. A real man will act as the situation dictates. King Zhou is done for. He won’t be able to fend off the nobles, and his death is at hand. You and I should take this opportunity to abandon him and submit to the Zhou, so that we don’t lose our wealth. Besides, the Martial King is compassionate and virtuous, and Jiang Ziya is wise. When they see us surrender, they won’t punish us. This is the best way.”
“Brother, your advice has awoken me from a dream,” Fei Lian said. “But there’s just one more thing. When the enemy sacks the palace, we should go into the private quarters and steal the royal seal. We’ll hide it in our homes. Once the dust settles, my guess is that the Zhou will take over from the Shang. Then, when the Martial King has entered the palace, we can go see him and offer up the seal. He will no doubt think us loyal. Not only will he hold any suspicions against us, but he will surely reward us. It would be killing two birds with one stone.”
E Lai agreed, adding, “And posterity will remember us as men of wisdom, since good birds choose their perch, and talented vassals choose their lord.”
And then, the two of them had a good laugh over the deviousness of their scheme. To see if they’ll succeed in their treachery, tune into the next episode of the Chinese Lore Podcast. Thanks for listening!
Music in This Episode
- “Sao Meo” by Doug Maxwell / Zac Zinger
- “Ravines” by Elphnt (from YouTube audio library)