Gods 082: Desperate Measures
With the enemy closing in, King Zhou is reduced to putting out “Help Wanted” posters to find anyone willing to fight for him.
Transcript
Welcome to the Chinese Lore Podcast, where I retell classic Chinese stories in English. This is episode 82 of Investiture of the Gods.
Last time, while Jiang Ziya and the nobles at Mengjin celebrated their victory over the demon-led Shang army, two of his Daoist followers, Jinzha and Muzha were trying to use trickery to help the Grand Duke of the East to get through the last obstacle keeping him from joining the party. They went to the Shang stronghold of Wandering Soul Pass and presented themselves to the pass commander, Dou (4) Rong (2), as Daoists with an ax to grind against Jiang Ziya, offering to help him defeat the Grand Duke of the East.
When said Grand Duke, Jiang (1) Wenhuan (2,2), came to demand battle, Jinzha offered to go face him. He went out, accompanied by Dou Rong and his army, and saw an enemy officer across the way, clad in golden armor and red battle robe. This officer galloped out and shouted to Jinzha, “Hey you Daoist, come taste my blade!”
“Who are you? Tell me your name!” Jinzha replied.
“I am Ma (3) Zhao (4), garrison commander for the Grand Duke of the East. Who are you?!”
“My name is Sun (1) De (2), and I am a Daoist from the East Sea. The Shang is thriving, and the nobles of the land have rebelled without cause. I was traveling through and saw that Jiang Wenhuan has been waging war for years, causing suffering for the people. I couldn’t bear to watch it, so out of compassion, I have come to capture the rebels and exterminate the traitors to save the people. If you’re smart, surrender at once, and I might still spare you. If you dare to utter half a word of nonsense, I will reduce you to dust at once!”
At that, Jinzha charged out on foot with sword drawn, and Ma Zhao raised his saber to counter. After 30 fierce exchanges, Jinzha unleashed his Dragon Bounding Stake, which immediately immobilized Ma Zhao. The Shang commander Dou Rong then directed his army forward, and they swept the enemy forces off the field, sending them fleeing. Jinzha ordered the men to apprehend Ma Zhao, and they returned to the pass in victory.
Once back at the command center, Dou Rong and Jinzha both sat down, and Dou Rong ordered the prisoner be brought forth. Ma Zhao was escorted into the hall but refused to kneel.
“You scoundrel!” Dou Rong cursed. “You’re my prisoner! How dare you act up?”
Ma Zhao threw it back in his face, shouting, “I was done in by sorcery. How can I kneel to a no-name rat like you? My death means nothing. You should execute me at once. No need for so many words!”
Ok, have it your way. Dou Rong ordered his men to execute the prisoner, but Jinzha intervened, saying, “Wait until I have captured Jiang Wenhuan, and then take them both to the capital to face punishment at the hands of the court. That will serve as proof of the immense service you have rendered.”
By this point, Dou Rong had been thoroughly impressed by Jinzha’s skills and words, so he took him at his word and ordered the prisoner be locked up for now.
Meanwhile, outside the pass, the Grand Duke of the East, Jiang Wenhuan heard that his garrison commander had been captured and was elated. “I will sack the pass any day now!” he rejoiced.
The next day, Jiang Wenhuan lined up his army outside the pass and demanded battle again. Dou Rong asked Jinzha and Muzha for ideas, and they said, “We came specifically to help you pacify the rebels of the East. This is going to make it worth our while.”
Then, they went out to face the enemy. After trading their fake names with Jiang Wenhuan, Jinzha said, “You have disregarded the duties of a vassal and are stirring up trouble, insulting your lord, staging a rebellion, and causing harm to the people. You are seeking your own destruction. Surrender now, or it’d be too late for regrets.”
Jiang Wenhua cursed, “You ignorant Daoist! You used sorcery to capture my officer, and now you’re slinging slander. When I catch you, I will cut you to pieces to avenge Ma Zhao.”
At that, he galloped forth with saber raised, and Jinzha met him with sword drawn. After a few exchanges, Jiang Wenhuan turned and rode away, and Jinzha and Muzha followed. When they were within an arrow’s flight from each other, Jinzha said to Jiang Wenhuan, “Tonight around 7 p.m., lead your army to the foot of the pass. We will offer it up to you.”
Jiang Wenhuan thanked him, and then shot an arrow at them, which they promptly deflected with their swords.
“Damn rebel!” Jinzha cursed. “How dare you take a cheap shot? I’m going back for now, but I will pay you back tomorrow!”
And so the two brothers went back to the pass, whereupon Dou Rong asked, “Why didn’t you use your magical weapon to capture the enemy?”
“I was going to,” Jinzha replied, “but that scoundrel rode away. I chased him, but then he took a cheap shot at me. I’ll use my magic to capture him tomorrow.”
Just as they were talking, Dou Rong’s wife came into the hall. Jinzha and Muzha saw this female warrior coming in, and they both bowed to pay their respects. She asked her husband who they were, and he said, “These two Daoist masters are Sun De and Xu Ren from the East Sea. They have come to help me defeat Jiang Wenhuan. Yesterday, they captured Ma Zhao. Tomorrow, they will use their magic weapon to capture Jiang Wenhuan and company. Then, I will lead my army to sweep up behind Jiang Ziya and render unrivaled service to the state.”
But his wife laughed and said, “My lord, you must be on guard. Don’t trust people so easily. If it doesn’t work out, it’s going to be big trouble. As the old saying goes, ‘If you want to take something, you have to give something first.’ You must be careful.”
Jinzha and Muzha said to Dou Rong, “General, your wife is right in being suspicious. There’s no point in the two of us causing more complications for you here. We’ll take our leave.”
And so, they pretended to leave again. Dou Rong grabbed them and said, “Masters, please don’t take it to heart. My wife may be a woman, but she is also adept at war and knows military strategy. She doesn’t know that you’re truly committed to the Shang; that’s why she worried about deception. Don’t hold a grudge. Accept my apologies. When we crush the enemy, I will repay you handsomely.”
Jinzha, however, said sternly, “Heaven and earth can bear witness to my commitment to the Shang. We were going to go because your wife suspects us, but you are so sincere in keeping us. You will see our loyalty tomorrow when we capture Jiang Wenhuan. I just worry that your wife will be too embarrassed to see us then.”
Those words made Dou Rong’s wife take her leave in shame. Then Dou Rong asked Jinzha how he planned to capture Jiang Wenhuan. Jinzha said, “I will use my magic weapon to capture him. Once he’s our prisoner, his gang of rebels will fall apart. Then we will advance on Mengjin to capture Jiang Ziya and repel the other nobles.”
Dou Rong was elated and turned in for the evening, while Jinzha and Muzha meditated in the hall. Around 7 p.m., the roar of battle and the banging of drums suddenly echoed from outside the pass, as Jiang Wenhuan and his army started to lay siege. A scout hurriedly sounded the alarm and reported the situation to Dou Rong. He assembled his staff, and his wife also donned her armor and cutlass.
Jinzha said to Dou Rong, “Jiang Wenhuan is trying to catch us off guard with this night siege. Let’s turn his plan against him, charge out and attack, and I will use my magical weapon to capture him. Then, success will be ours. Your wife and my Daoist brother can stay and guard the pass.”
Dou Rong’s wife concurred with this plan and told them that she will go to the city walls and oversee the defense. So Dou Rong organized his troops and prepared to go out. But before he left, his wife again reminded him, “You must be careful in this night battle. Don’t lust for battle. Act according to the situation and don’t fall into the enemy’s trap. You must remember.”
Hearing those parting words, Jinzha flashed a look to his brother Muzha, who caught his meaning. Dou Rong and Jinha now charged out with an army. Dou Rong saw Jiang Wenhuan in front of his forces and shouted, “Rebel! You’re doomed today!”
Jiang Wenhuan didn’t bother with a reply, and they started trading blows while the two sides scrummed in a fierce showdown. Amid the chaos, Jinzha suddenly unleashed his Dragon Bounding Stake, and it tied up Dou Rong. Jiang Wenhuan brought his saber down and cut his foe in half. And that was the end of Dou Rong, a venerable general who had defended the pass for 20 years and fought in hundreds of battles.
Seeing their leader slay the enemy’s commander, Jiang Wenhuan’s army shouted in celebration. Atop the pass, Muzha saw that Jiang Wenhuan had gained the upper hand, so he secretly unleashed his flying sword from the command tower. It spun in the air and cut down Dou Rong’s wife.
Muzha now shouted, “My name is Muzha! On Commander Jiang’s orders, I came to take this pass. Your leaders are all dead. Surrender and you live; resist and you die!”
All the soldiers in the pass promptly kneeled and surrendered. Jinzha and Jiang Wenhuan now advanced on the pass, and Muzha ordered the gates be flung open to welcome them. Once side, Jiang Wenhuan inspected the storehouses, made nice with the civilians, released the captured general Ma Zhao, and thanked Jinzha and Muzha profusely.
“My lord, you should make haste and advance,” Jinzha said. “We two will return to Mengjin first to let Commander Jiang know. You must not delay.”
Jiang Wenhuan thanked them again, and Jinzha and Muzha now fast-traveled back to Mengjin, where Jiang Ziya and company were just talking about what’s keeping the Grand Duke of the East. So they were delighted when Jinzha and Muzha showed up and reported their success.
Soon, Jiang Wenhuan and his army arrived. Jiang Ziya greeted him warmly and brought him to see the Martial King Ji Fa. So now, the 800 nobles of the land, plus numerous other lower-ranking lords were all gathered, totaling 1.6 million troops in all. Jiang Ziya made a sacrifice to the command banner, and this huge force set out toward the Shang capital. They marched to the outskirts of the city and pitched camp.
The Shang soldiers guarding the city rushed to the palace to report. King Zhou was stunned, because you know, who could’ve seen this coming? He and his officials rushed to the city walls to have a look. What greeted outside was a mass of humanity, bristling with weapons. He then returned to court and asked his officials for ideas.
The officer Lu (3) Renjie (2,2) said, “I have heard it said that when a building is about to collapse, a single column cannot hold it up. Right now, our storehouses are empty, our people are angry, and our soldiers’ morale is low. Even if we have good generals, who knows where their hearts might lay. Even if we fight them, I don’t know if we can win. Why don’t we send a skilled orator to talk to the rebels and remind them of the obligations of vassals to convince them to disband their army?”
King Zhou fell into silence at that suggestion. But then, the minister Fei (1) Lian (2) said, “When there’s a handsome reward, there will be brave men. How can there not be valiants hidden in the capital and the surrounding area? Your highness should seek them out urgently and bestow high ranks and great wealth on them. They will then risk their lives to break this siege. And we still have more than 100,000 soldiers in the city and enough provisions. Or, you can put General Lu in command of the army and stage a single battle and see where heaven’s will lies. But how can we entertain talks of sending someone to plead with the rebels and showing weakness?”
King Zhou liked this idea better. So he dispatched more recruitment posters while organizing his troops.
About 10 miles outside the city, there lived a learned recluse named Ding (1) Ce (4). One day, he was just lounging around the house when he heard that the Zhou forces had surrounded the capital. He sighed and lamented, “King Zhou has lost his virtue and his way. He has killed the loyal and listened to the wicked, causing harm to the people and drawing the wrath of heaven and men. That’s why all the talented men have left the court and the wicked run rampant. And now, all the nobles have arrived with their soldiers. The fall of the state is imminent, and there’s no one to help the king. He can only await his doom. Of those who have received the king’s benevolence, who among them will shoulder his concerns? I once received instruction in military matters from a great sage and am well-versed in the art of war. I want to go put all my learnings to use so as to repay my lord. But heaven is not on my side, and the civilians’ hearts lie elsewhere. When a building is about to collapse, how can a single column hold it up? Alas, pity the Shang, with all its glorious history, will soon come to ruins. How can one not bemoan this state of affairs?”
As he lamented and wrote lines of poetry to express his sadness, someone suddenly came in. This was his sworn brother, Guo (1) Chen (2). Ding Ce asked why he had come, and Guo Chen said, “All the nobles have gathered here and surrounded the capital. The king has posted a recruitment call, so I have come to ask you to join me in supporting the royal house. You have immense talent and are knowledgeable about war. This would allow you to serve the court and make a great name for yourself.”
But Ding Ce laughed. “Brother, there’s some logic in your words, but King Zhou has lost his way and is tyrannical. That’s why the land has abandoned him and the nobles have rebelled. This did not happen overnight. It’s like a giant boil that’s about to burst. Death will soon follow and even a good doctor might not be able to prevent it. You and I may be learned, but how can a cup of water put out a burning cart? Besides, Jiang Ziya is a Daoist from the Chan sect. So many Daoists have lost their lives against him. What a waste.”
“Brother, you’re wrong,” Guo Chen said. “We are the king’s people. We make our living off his land, so we are all indebted to him. We should live and die with our state. Now is the time to repay him. How can we worry about our own lives? How can you say such ridiculous words? Besides, we are men! If our blood is not for spilling at this moment, what are we saving it for? With our knowledge, we have no need to worry about the Chan sect. We should go help the king.”
“Brother, this is no small matter,” Ding Ce cautioned. “We must not act rashly. Let’s discuss it some more.”
Just then, they heard the sound of horse bells outside, and soon a big man stomped in. He was another of their sworn brothers, named Dong (3) Zhong (1).
“I have come to invite you to join me in helping the king repel the Zhou forces,” he told Ding Ce. “Yesterday, I saw the recruitment poster in the capital, so I went ahead and put down all three of our names. They were delivered to the minister Fei Lian, who has informed the king. So I have come to ask you both to come to court tomorrow morning. As the old saying goes, ‘Whether you study literature or war, you should sell your skills to the king.’ Our lord is facing dire straits; how can we, his servants, sit and watch?!”
Uhh, you signed me up? Ding Ce was not amused. “Brother, how can you just put my name down like that?” he scolded Dong Zhong. “This is an important matter; how can you act so rashly?”
Dong Zhong retorted, “I figured you are not the kind to wait by a tree for a rabbit to hop by, and that you would surely volunteer to serve the country.”
Guo Chen, meanwhile, broke into laughter and told Dong Zhong, “You did the right thing. I was trying to convince Brother Ding just now, but you went ahead and signed us up!”
Welp, Ding Ce didn’t have much of a choice now, thanks to his sworn brothers. So he could only serve his brothers wine. They sat up all night drinking and then headed to the capital when morning came.
When they arrived at the palace, King Zhou summoned them in. Once they entered and paid their respects, he said, “Yesterday, Fei Lian recommended you. You must have good ideas for how to repel the enemy and help me deal with my troubles. I will grant you your own fiefdoms. That’s a promise.”
Ding Ce said, “I have heard that war is a last resort and that sage kings only turn to it when they have no choice. Right now, the Zhou forces are here, and the country is in danger. We three have studied the art of war since our youth, but we are here only out of loyalty. We cannot guarantee victory. We hope you will make use of us.”
King Zhou was pleased with their loyalty. So he made them all generals. The next day, they went to see the commander Lu Renjie, who then led the army out of the city to face the enemy. On the other side, Jiang Ziya brought his army out.
Once they lined up, Lu Renjie galloped out and shouted, “Greetings, Jiang Ziya!”
Jiang Ziya bowed from atop his ride and asked for his name. Lu Renjie introduced himself and said, “Jiang Ziya, since you’re a learned Daoist of the Chan Sect, why have you disobeyed the king’s laws and conspired with nobles to commit treason? You have attacked your king, destroyed cities, and killed officers of the court. And now you’re advancing on the capital. What are your intentions? How can you escape being branded a traitor in the annals of history? But the king is willing to forgive your transgressions. You all should immediately lay down your arms, disband your forces, and return to your own territory. His highness will treat you kindly. If you persist on this misguided path, then his highness might become enraged and will personally lead his army to destroy you. Then it will be too late for regrets!”
Jiang Ziya, though, laughed and replied, “Since you’re a high official in the king’s service, how can you be so ignorant of the times? King Zhou has committed countless offenses. Both men and gods are enraged at him. All the nobles have assembled here. His death is imminent, and yet you still try to wag your tongue. Back when the Shang Dynasty was founded, its predecessor, the Xia, was tyrannical, so the first Shang king waged war against them to win the land. They have held onto it for 600-some years. Now, King Zhou’s cruelty far surpasses that of the last king of the Xia. So I am waging war on heaven’s command to exterminate the tyrant. Why are you so misguided, that you’re still going against heaven’s will?! With all the nobles’ forces here, your single city is like a fragile egg. How can you be so foolish that you’d come and lecture us?!”
Lu Renjie became irate when he heard that spiel. “You slick-tongued devil!” he cursed. “I thought you had gained some virtue with your age, so I treated you with respect. But you insist on spewing nonsense and refuse to consider your offense!”
He then turned and asked which officer would go apprehend Jiang Ziya. The new recruit Guo Chen immediately galloped out, and he was met by the Zhou general Nangong Kuo. As they fought, both sides cheered on their man. One of the other new Shang recruits, Ding Ce, now rode out to help, and he was met by Jiang Ziya’s disciple Wu (3) Ji (2). After 20-some exchanges, from the Zhou side, the Grand Duke of the South, E (1) Shun (4), charged out, and he was met by the third new recruit, Dong Zhong.
Watching the six warriors go at it, the Grand Duke of the East, Jiang Wenhuan, couldn’t help himself anymore. He charged out and with one swing of his saber cut down Dong Zhong. That prompted lotus boy Nezha to shout, “We haven’t rendered any great service since entering the five passes. How can we just sit and watch this fight at the capital?!”
With that, he rolled out on his fire wheels, followed by his Daoist comrade Yang Jian. That prompted the Shang commander Lu Renjie to ride out to face them. So both sides were now in a scrum. Nezha was tangling with Ding Ce and unleashed his Universal Ring, which struck his foe and promptly killed him. The last remaining member of the three new Shang recruits, Guo Chen, now panicked and was cut down by Yang Jian. So, so much for all the ink spilled on those three. That left Lu Renjie all by his lonesome. He figured he was no match for the Zhou warriors, so he retreated back to camp, and Jiang Ziya also led his troops back for the day as well.
When King Zhou got word of the defeat, he met with his officials and asked for ideas yet again. The military adviser Yin (1) Pobai (4,4) said, “The country is in danger, the civilians are in a panic, and there’s no one at court. Your servant has a passing acquaintance with Jiang Ziya. I’m willing to risk my life and go to the Zhou camp to remind him of the duties of a vassal and convince him to retreat and order the nobles to disband. I don’t know if I will succeed. But if not, then I’m willing to curse the rebels and die.”
King Zhou consented, so Yin Pobai went to the Zhou camp. He was summoned to the command tent, where all the nobles sat on two sides while Jiang Ziya sat in the center. Yin Pobai went in and bowed, saying, “Commander Jiang, pardon me for not bowing fully since I’m clad in armor.”
Jiang Ziya hurriedly rose and greeted him. “General Yin, what brings you here?”
“It has been a long time since we parted way,” Yin Pobai said. “Who knew that you would rise to such heights?! I have come to offer one word of advice. Will you listen?”
“Old general, what advice do you have?” Jiang Ziya replied. “If it’s something I can do, I will surely do so. But it’s something I can’t do, then there’s no point in saying it. Please forgive me.”
Jiang Ziya then offered his visitor a seat. Yin Pobai thanked him, sat down, and said, “I have heard it said that the king’s honor is as high as the heavens. Just as we must have the heavens, we must have a king. It’s also been said that those who disobey the king and wage war without his permission are rebels. And rebels deserve nothing less than death. To conspire with traitors to disobey the king is treason, and traitors deserve to be exterminated and attacked by all under heaven. The founder of the Shang exercised his virtue and overthrew the Xia to win the land. His house has reigned for 600-some years. All the nobles and people of the land have received the country’s benevolence. Who among us is not a servant of the Shang? And yet, instead of thinking about repayment, you’re leading a rebellion and assembling the nobles in your treasonous cause. You have trampled the civilians, invaded the king’s land, killed his soldiers and officers, and threatened his capital. These are the acts of traitors and rebels and cannot be pardoned. Your name will live in infamy throughout history. I feel sorry for you. In my opinion, you should order the nobles to return to their own territories and cultivate their virtues, so as to spare the people from further suffering. Then, the king will overlook your offenses and focus on affairs of the court, so that all will thrive. What do you think?”
To no one’s surprise, this speech convinced exactly no one. Jiang Ziya’s reaction was all too predictable. He laughed and said, “Old general, you’re mistaken. I have heard it said that the land doesn’t belong to one single person; it belongs to all under heaven. That’s why heaven’s will is not set, and it resides with the virtuous. …”
And then Jiang Ziya went on to repeat the typical talking points that we have heard over and over: How the ancient sage kings passed their thrones to worthy men instead of their own heirs, how the Shang itself came into existence by overthrowing a tyrannical regime, all the terrible things that King Zhou has been doing, and so forth. It’s like the author wrote only one speech and decided to have every character repeat it ad nauseum.
Anyway, Yin Pobai saw that there was no changing Jiang Ziya’s mind, so he thought to himself, “I might as well drop the pleasantries and fulfill my duty as a vassal.”
To see what he’ll do to that end, tune in to the next episode of the Chinese Lore Podcast. Thanks for listening!
Music in This Episode
- “Sao Meo” by Doug Maxwell / Zac Zinger
- “Ravines” by Elphnt (from YouTube audio library)