Gods 061: Killer Bees

Gods 061: Killer Bees

Gods 061: Killer Bees

The Zhou army meets its first real resistance on its march East.

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Transcript

Welcome to the Chinese Lore Podcast, where I retell classic Chinese stories in English. This is episode 61 of Investiture of the Gods.

Last time, after much foot dragging, the Martial King Ji Fa finally gave the ok on an Eastern expedition against the Shang, but made it clear that his aim was just to show up at King Zhou’s doorstep with a massive army and ask him nicely to maybe be a little nicer to everyone. So with Ji Fa and Jiang Ziya at the helm, the army marched out.

Meanwhile, at Sishui Pass, the first Shang defensive outpost on the border with the kingdom of Zhou, the pass commander Han (2) Rong (2) had received word that the most recent Shang expedition against Western Qi had ended just as badly as all the other ones before it. And on top of that, the Zhou was now marching this way to repay the favor. So he quickly sent a report to the Shang capital. King Zhou (4) was taken aback when he saw the report and quickly called his court into session.

“Ji Fa is acting recklessly,” he said to his officials. “What ideas do you all have for eliminating this lingering thorn in our side?”

One official stepped forth, kneeled, and said, “Jiang Ziya is a Daoist trained by the Chan sect. No ordinary army can defeat him. Your highness should appoint Kong (3) Xuan (1) as the commander. He is well-versed in Daoist magic and can capture the rebels and pacify the West.”

King Zhou agreed and sent a royal decree to — where else — Three Peaks Pass, where seemingly all the commanders of his previous campaigns against Western Qi had come from. Like all his predecessors, Kong Xuan was currently overseeing the defense of that pass. When he got the decree, he mobilized an army of 100,000 that very night. The next day, he made a sacrifice to his command banner and led his army out. After some days on the road, they were approaching Sishui Pass, and Han Rong came to welcome them.

When Han Rong went into the tent, he said to Kong Xuan, “Commander, you’re late.”

“How so?”

“Jiang Ziya was appointed the Zhou’s commander on the 15th day of the third month, and his army has already left Western Qi,” Han Rong explained.

“What skills could he have?” Kong Xuan scoffed. “I will capture Ji Fa and his officials on this campaign and deliver them to the capital.”

He then ordered his army to march down the main thoroughfare toward Western Qi. Within a day, they had arrived on Golden Rooster Peak, and scouts reported that the Zhou army was approaching the foot of the mountain. So Kong Xuan ordered his forces to pitch camp atop the peak to block the enemy’s forward progress.

On the other side, Jiang Ziya got word that the enemy was camped out on the mountain, blocking his path. So he ordered his own army to pitch camp. He then sat down in his tent and thought to himself, “I thought we had already dealt with 36 enemy armies. Where did this one come from?”

But then he did a little count with his fingers and realized, oh, we’ve only dealt with 35. Sigh. Here we go again.

Three days after the Shang army pitched camp on the peak, Kong Xuan got word that the Zhou army had arrived. He asked which of his officers would go out for the initial faceoff, and his vanguard general Chen (2) Geng (1) volunteered. On the other side, one of Jiang Ziya’s four vanguard generals, Huang Tianhua, offered to go fight. So he rode out on his jade qilin and saw an enemy officer wielding a halberd.

“Who are you, rebel?” Chen Geng shouted.

“I’m no rebel,” Huang Tianhua shot back. “I am Huang Tianhua, vanguard general under the commander of the heaven-sent army to wipe out the Shang. Who are you? Tell me your name so I can have it written down in our record of merits when I present your head.”

“How dare a lowlife like you resist an officer of the heavenly court?!” Chen Geng fumed as he made straight for Huang Tianhua. After 30 exchanges, Huang Tianhua turned and rode away. Chen Geng gave chase. When Huang Tianhua heard the sound of the bells on his opponent’s horse drawing closer, he latched his twin mallets and pulled out his Fire Dragon Javelin and slinged it at Chen Geng. The javelin found its mark, Chen Geng fell off his horse, and Huang Tianhua rode up, cut off his head, and returned to camp.

Jiang Ziya was delighted with this victory and opened the roll to record Huang Tianhua as having scored the first merit of the campaign. But as he reached over to wet his brush on the ink stone, the head of the brush fell off. Jiang Ziya stared at his headless brush in silence for a moment, and then fetched another brush and finished writing down Huang Tianhua’s name.

In the Shang camp, Kong Xuan got word that his vanguard general had been killed and that his head was now adorning the enemy’s camp gate. But Kong Xuan simply scoffed, “Cheng Geng was useless. This is no great loss.”

The next day, he sent another general, Sun (1) He (2), out for combat. On the Zhou side, Jiang Ziya’s disciple Wu (3) Ji (2) volunteered to go out. So Wu Ji rode out and saw an enemy officer clad in golden armor and red battle robe, seated atop a yellow horse and wielding a big saber.

When Sun He (2) asked for his name, Wu Ji introduced himself, but that drew a scornful laugh from his opponent.

“That Jiang Ziya was a fisherman, and you were a woodcutter,” Sun He chuckled. “The two of you can play out that classic painting, ‘The Conversation between A Fisherman and a Woodcutter.’ ”

Wu Ji was furious. He gnashed his teeth and raised his spear to attack. After 30-some bouts, Wu Ji feigned a thrust and then turned and rode away. Sun He figured, yeah, that’s about what I expected from a lowly woodcutter. So he galloped after Wu Ji. But suddenly, Wu Ji tugged on his horse’s reins and came to a dead stop. Sun He was coming in hot and couldn’t pull up in time, and before he knew it, he had run smack dab into the pointy end of Wu Ji’s spear. Wu Ji skewered his opponent, sent him to the ground, and cut off his head.

Jiang Ziya was again delighted by this victory and wrote down Wu Ji’s merit, though all this left lotus boy Nezha itching for some action of his own. Meanwhile, Kong Xuan got word that another of his generals had offered up his head to decorate the enemy’s camp gate. He said to his men, “I had come on this campaign on the king’s decree, and you all came along to render service to the army. But now we’ve lost two battles in a row. Who can go out and render service to the country?”

Another of his generals, Gao (1) Jineng (4,2), volunteered and rode out to challenge for battle. This time, Nezha claimed the assignment and darted out on his hot wheels, with a pair of red pennants leading the way.

On the other side, Gao Jineng shouted, “Nezha, slow down!”

“Well, since you know who I am, you should dismount and accept your death now!” Nezha shot back.

Gao Jineng laughed and said, “I’ve heard that you have uncommon Daoist powers, but I’ll show you a thing or two today.”

“Tell me your name, so I can write it down when I present your head!” Nezha demanded.

Gao Jineng became angry at that slight, so he rode forward and stabbed with his spear. Nezha countered with his own spear, and they engaged in a dogged back-and-forth. After a while, Gao Jineng was afraid that Nezha would pull out one of his tricks first, so he feigned a thrust and rode away, thinking that he would trick Nezha into giving chase and then pull out one of his own tricks. 

Nezha, however, thought, “Now’s my chance!” as he pulled out his Universal Ring and hurled it at Gao Jineng. Gao Jineng was in the middle of reaching for his own macguffin, but before he could do so, Nezha’s ring had struck him on the shoulder, forcing him to lean on his saddle and flee. 

Nezha, however, was annoyed that his foe got away. Nonetheless, Jiang Ziya recorded his merit as well. Meanwhile, Gao Jineng limped back to camp and told Kong Xuan what happened. Kong Xuan said nothing and just gave him a magic pill that helped him recover immediately.

The next day, Kong Xuan personally led his army out and asked to speak with Jiang Ziya. So Jiang Ziya rode out with his full corps of officers. As they lined up, Jiang Ziya noticed that Kong Xuan looked quite unusual. In addition to looking like quite the general, he also seemed to have five beams of light — blue, yellow, red, white, and black — emanating from his back. This made Jiang Ziya a bit uneasy.

When he saw Jiang Ziya, Kong Xuan rode out and said, “You used to be an official of the Shang. Why did you rebel and elevate your own king. And now  you’re collaborating with other nobles to betray the court rather than staying within your own territory. I have come on the king’s decree to put you down. Retreat now and fall in line as a vassal should, and you may preserve your home and state. If you delay in the slightest, I will raze Western Qi to the ground. Then it would be too late for regrets!”

Jiang Ziya replied, “Heaven’s will changes all the time, but it favors those who are virtuous. When the ancient sage king Yao (2) saw that his own son was no good, he passed the throne to Shun (4) instead. And when Shun saw that his own son was no good, he passed the throne to Yu (3). Yu’s own son was talented and virtuous, so Yu passed the throne to him, starting the Xia (4) Dynasty. But eventually , the throne passed to King Jie (2), who was tyrannical, so the founder of the Shang Dynasty waged war against him and overthrew him. And now, the Shang’s throne has passed to King Zhou (4), and he is cruel and tyrannical, drawing the wrath of heaven and the people and causing the entire land to fall into chaos. Our kingdom of Zhou is virtuous, so we are waging war on the Shang on heaven’s behalf. General, why not follow heaven’s will and join us in punishing the tyrant?”

But Kong Xuan said, “You’re waging war on your superior, so you’re the one who’s against heaven. All your words are pure nonsense, used to deceive the people to justify your treason. You deserve more than death for resisting the heavenly troops!”

As he cursed, Kong Xuan galloped toward Jiang Ziya with saber raised. From behind Jiang Ziya, the recent defector Hong (2) Jin (3) rode out and shouted, “Kong Xuan, watch yourself! Here I come!”

“You traitor! How dare you face me?!” Kong Xuan cursed.

Hong Jin shouted, “The 800 nobles of the land have all pledged their allegiance to the Zhou. No matter how loyal you are, you alone can’t stop the tide.”

Kong Xuan was furious and made straight for Hong Jin. After a few exchanges, Hong Jin pulled out his magic flag door trick. But Kong Xuan roared in laughter and scoffed, “What’s the big deal with this little two-bit trick?”

He now reined in his horse and directed the yellow beam of light that was emanating from his back toward Hong Jin, and in the blink of an eye, Hong Jin vanished like a grain of sand thrown into the ocean. The only thing left was his horse.

Everyone on the Zhou side was stunned. Kong Xuan now made for Jiang Ziya again, and Jiang Ziya hurriedly pulled out his sword to defend himself. The general Deng Jiugong now raced over to help him. After about 15 exchanges, Jiang Ziya unleashed his God-Beating Staff. The staff flew right at Kong Xuan, but then vanished in the blink of an eye when it touched the red beam of light coming out of his back. 

Jiang Ziya was shocked and quickly ordered his troops to fall back., and both sides returned to their camps. 

As he sat in his tent, Jiang Ziya thought to himself, “This man has five beams of light behind him. They might be in accordance with the five elements. And who knows what’s going to happen to Hong Jin after he disappeared in that light? Why don’t we raid the enemy’s camp while they’re celebrating their victory? We’ll knock them back on their heels a bit and then figure out the next step.”

So he ordered Nezha to attack the enemy’s main camp gate, Huang Tianhua to attack the left camp, and Thunderbolt to attack the right camp. 

Meanwhile, in the Shang camp, Kong Xuan returned in victory. He gave the beams of light on his back a quick shake, and Hong Jin came tumbling out unconscious. Kong Xuan ordered his men to lock up the prisoner, and he also took out the God-Beating Staff he had sharked from Jiang Ziya. 

He was just about to retire to his tent when a huge gale suddenly made his command banner flap a few times. Kong Xuan was stunned and did a little divination with his fingers. He then gave his officers some orders.

Around 7 p.m. that night, an explosive sounded, and three squadrons of Zhou soldiers let out a loud roar and poured into the Shang camp. Nezha led the way into the main camp and charged straight to the center tent. But there, he found Kong Xuan, calm and collected, seated atop his horse and waiting.

“Nezha, you’re going to be captured for sure!” Kong Xuan laughed. “You won’t win like you did before.”

An enraged Nezha cursed and raised his spear to attack, and the two sides engaged in a scrum. 

Meanwhile, Thunderbolt soared into the right camp, where he was met by an enemy general. But said general was not prepared to face off against a winged messenger of death, as Thunderbolt came darting down from the sky and unloaded his staff on the guy’s head, spilling his brains and killing him instantly.

Thunderbolt now flew to the main camp and saw Nezha and Kong Xuan in a fierce battle. Thunderbolt let out a loud roar and charged toward Kong Xuan. But Kong Xuan directed his yellow beam of light skyward, and it swooped up Thunderbolt. Seeing this, Nezha tried to fall back, but Kong Xuan shot his white beam of light in Nezha’s direction, and Nezha also vanished without a trace.

Meanwhile, in the left camp, Huang Tianhua heard the sounds of battle coming from the other forces and promptly charged into the camp. There, he ran into the enemy general Gao Jineng (4,2). The two were quite evenly matched as they traded blows in the night. After a while, Gao Jineng turned and fled, and Huang Tianhua galloped after him atop his jade qilin. Suddenly, Gao Jineng unleashed his secret weapon. As he opened a bag, a swarm of wasps flew out and shot toward Huang Tianhua. Huang Tianhua raised his mallets to protect himself, but the wasps stung his ride, the jade qilin, in its eyes. The qilin let out a cry, reared up on its hind legs, and threw Huang Tianhua to the ground. Before Huang Tianhua could recover, Gao Jineng rushed forward and ran his spear into Huang Tianhua’s stomach, killing him instantly.

So this was a stunning loss, considering that Huang Tianhua had been one of the Zhou’s top Daoist warriors, and probably the most high-profile Zhou character to be killed up to this point. But his fate was also telegraphed a couple episodes back when he asked his master about his future. His master answered him with advice in the form of a riddle that said:

When you encounter heights, do not fight.

When you encounter success, turn back.

On the head of the Golden Rooster,

Watch for the swarm of bees and know it’s time.

Stop after you have rendered service,

And your name shall live for ages.

Ignore the warning signs,

And you shall suffer calamity.

And won’t you know it, the last name of the enemy who slew him, Gao, was the Chinese character for heights. So his master was trying to slip him a hint to avoid battle with someone named Gao. But Huang Tianhua didn’t really do a deep textual analysis of the riddle, and so he met his fate.

After a night of fighting, Kong Xuan called off his troops, having left the mountain side covered with the bodies of the enemy’s soldiers and the grass stained with their blood. He returned to camp, shook the light beams on his back, and out tumbled Nezha and Thunderbolt, who were promptly locked up. And then, Gao Jineng reported with Huang Tianhua’s head in tow, which Kong Xuan ordered displayed on their camp gate.

On the other side, Jiang Ziya stayed up all night, listening to the sound of fierce battle on the mountain top. When dawn broke, scouts reported that of the three generals he had sent on the raid, two had vanished, and the head of the third, Huang Tianhua, was hanging from the enemy’s camp gate.

Jiang Ziya was shocked, and Flying Tiger, Huang Tianhua’s father, wept aloud, “Oh my son! We have lost your talents before we even gained an inch of enemy territory!”

All of Huang Tianhua’s relatives and the other officers wept. The Martial King Ji Fa was in a stupor, and Jiang Ziya brooded in silence.

The general Nangong Kuo, however, said to Flying Tiger, “General, don’t act like this. Your son has sacrificed his life for the state, and his name shall live on for all eternity. Since that Gao Jineng wields dark magic with killer bees, why don’t you go recruit Chong (2) the Black Tiger? He can defeat that sorcery.”

So just a quick refresher. Black Tiger was the Grand Duke of the North. His brother used to be the Grand Duke of the North and a sycophant of King Zhou’s, but Black Tiger turned on him and captured him for Western Qi, which promptly put him to death and gave his territory to Black Tiger. 

Flying Tiger now went to see Jiang Ziya and told him that he wanted to go invite Black Tiger to come help avenge his son. Seeing how depressed he was, Jiang Ziya granted his request, so Flying Tiger rode toward Chongcheng (2,2), Black Tiger’s home base.

After a few days on the road, Flying Tiger came upon a mountain. He saw a stone slab on the side of the road with the words “Flying Phoenix Mountain” carved into it. As he rode across the mountain, he suddenly heard the sound of drums and gongs. Curious, Flying Tiger spurred on his magic cow and rode up the mountain. 

In a canyon, he saw three warriors engaged in a fierce battle. One of them wielded a five-pronged pitchfork, another had a bronze mallet, while the third used a silver talon with five claws. As they tussled, they would take turns teaming up against one another. All the while, they were roaring with laughter.

As Flying Tiger rode closer, the guy using the pitchfork saw that he had eyes like a phoenix’s and eyebrows that resembled silkworms, and that he was dressed in noble regalia and rode a multi-colored cow. So he shouted to his comrades, “Brothers, stop for a second!”

They all paused, and the pitchfork guy bowed from his saddle and asked, “Visitor, are you Lord Flying Tiger?”

“I am indeed. How do you all know me?” Flying Tiger asked.

The three warriors quickly dismounted and kneeled. Flying Tiger hurriedly dismounted and returned the gesture. The three warriors said, “My lord, we saw your countenance and it matched the description of you that we had heard, so we figured it was you. What brings you here?”

They now invited Flying Tiger to their base atop the mountain. Flying Tiger asked them why they were fighting, and they told him, “We were bored after lunch, so we were just playing around. We didn’t realize your lordship was nearby and offended you.”

Flying Tiger now asked for their names, and they introduced themselves as Wen (2) Pin (4), Cui (1) Ying (1), and Jiang (3) Xiong (2). Now, these guys are actually gonna end up as a part of a legendary quintet with Flying Tiger, but we’ll get to that later. For now, they treated him to a banquet and asked where he was going. Flying Tiger recounted how his son had been killed on the Zhou’s Eastern expedition and said that he was on his way to recruit Black Tiger to help him seek revenge.”

“But I’m afraid the Grand Duke of the North won’t come with you,” Wen Pin (4) said.

“How do you know?” Flying Tiger asked.

“He has been training his forces and preparing to go to Mengjin (4,1) to meet up with the other nobles of the land. He will not come with you because he doesn’t want to delay his campaign.”

“Well, at least I ran into the three of you,” Flying Tiger said. “So it’s not a totally wasted trip.”

But Cui (1) Ying (1) said, “Despite what Brother Wen told you, even if the Grand Duke goes to Mengjin (4,1), he and the other nobles would still need to wait for the Martial King to get there before they can proceed. Your lordship can stay in our base tonight. Tomorrow, the three of us will go with you and convince him to help you. He will not be able to refuse.”

Flying Tiger was grateful for their offer, so he spent the night in their base. The next day, after breakfast, they set out together. After a day, they arrived at Chongcheng (2,2), Black Tiger’s home city. They went to the commander’s residence and asked to see him. 

When Black Tiger heard that the three heroes of Flying Phoenix Mountain were calling, he invited them in right away. The three warriors went in, bowed, and told him that Flying Tiger was waiting outside. Black Tiger rushed out to welcome him.

“I’m sorry to intrude,” Flying Tiger said. “It’s truly a pleasure to meet you.”

They then sat down as host and guest and heaped more praise upon each other. Wen Pin then explained Flying Tiger’s reason for coming, but Black Tiger just sighed and said nothing.

“Brother, are you thinking of going to Mengjin first?” Cui (1) Ying (1) asked. “Right now, Jiang Ziya is stuck at Golden Rooster Peak. Even if you get to Mengjin, you would still have to wait for the Martial King before you can meet up with the other nobles. So that can wait. In my opinion, you should go defeat Gao Jineng first, help Jiang Ziya advance, and then go to Mengjin. It’s all the same.”

“In that case, let’s set out tomorrow,” Black Tiger said. “I will leave my son here to drill the army. Once we have defeated Kong Xuan, then we can come back and mobilize them.”

And just in case you’re wondering, Black Tiger will also be a part of this legendary quintet. The next day, they packed up the band and headed out around 4 a.m. After a few days, they arrived back at the Zhou camp at the foot of Golden Rooster Peak. Flying Tiger went in and told Jiang Ziya that his trip was a success and that Black Tiger and three other new recruits were waiting outside. Jiang Ziya promptly invited them in and welcomed them warmly.

Once they sat down, Jiang Ziya said to Black Tiger, “Right now, Kong Xuan is blocking our army’s path, making us have to trouble you to make this long journey. My apologies.”

Black Tiger rose and asked if Jiang Ziya could lead him to see the Martial King. So Jiang Ziya brought him to Ji Fa’s tent, and Black Tiger paid his respects, saying, “Your highness is acting in accordance with heaven and out of compassion in waging war against the tyrant to save the people. That Kong Xuan is disregarding virtue by blocking your path. He is seeking his own destruction.”

Ji Fa replied, “I am short on talent and virtuous, but you and all the other nobles have deferred to me to lead this enterprise. Yet, we just set out and have already run into such obstruction. Maybe we have not yet earned heaven’s favor. I’m thinking about turning back and cultivating my virtue. What do you think?”

“You’re mistaken, my lord,” Black Tiger said. “Right now evil holds sway and both men and gods are enraged. How can we let an insignificant wart like Kong Xuan stop the will of all the nobles of the land? We must not miss this opportunity, and you must not disappoint all your soldiers.”

Ji Fa thanked him for the pep talk and offered him a few cups of wine. Black Tiger then left with Jiang Ziya, and they celebrated with another feast in the main camp.

The next day, Black Tiger rode out with the three warriors of Flying Phoenix Mountain. They went up to the top of the peak and demanded to speak with Gao Jineng. Kong Xuan promptly ordered Gao Jineng to repel the enemy.

Gao Jineng rode out and shouted at Black Tiger, “You’re a rebel from the North. Why are you coming here to help the wicked forces of Western Qi? Well, it’s convenient that you have gathered yourselves in one place. Saves me the trouble of having to waste extra effort to capture you all.”

“Scoundrel! You’re doomed and you don’t even know it!” Black Tiger roared. “Your tyrant has lost the realm, and you dare to say that I’m going against heaven? Are you the one who killed Flying Tiger’s son?”

Gao Jineng scoffed, “We even defeated Nezha and Thunderbolt. What skills do you have that you dare to question me?”

And with that, he darted toward Black Tiger. To see how this fight will go, tune in to the next episode of the Chinese Lore Podcast. Thanks for listening!

Music in This Episode

  • “Sao Meo” by Doug Maxwell / Zac Zinger
  • “Ravines” by Elphnt (from YouTube audio library) 
  • “Dark Toys” by SYBS (from YouTube audio library)
  • “Slow Times Over Here” by Midnight North (from YouTube audio library)

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