The Han court hits rock bottom, at which point Cao Cao was all too happy to ride in and … umm … defend the honor and dignity of the throne. Yeah, that’s it.

Someone’s wife gets the wrong impression that her husband is cheating on her, and the next thing you know, we’re poisoning household pets, ingesting waste, burning palaces, and abducting everybody who’s anybody.

After spending his down time picking off some ragtag rebels, Cao Cao moves to reclaim his territory, which brings us to a good point to look back at what we have covered so far.

Cao Cao and Lü Bu face off for control of Yan Province in a back-and-forth attempt to out-trick each other. And then the locusts came ….

Everyone gears up for a fight with Cao Cao over Xu Province, and then all of a sudden it’s the province nobody wants.

Our old friend Cao Cao is expanding his operation. Want to join? You just need to either be a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of someone who already works there, or be a man-beast who kills dozens of coworkers with your bare hands over a disagreement.

Dong Zhuo learns that broken chariots, wild horses, and melancholy songs are, in fact, not auspicious signs.

Expertly manipulated by Diao Chan, Lü Bu and Dong Zhuo come to blows over who gets to go to bed with a 16-year-old.

Sun Jian leaves his son in charge, while Dong Zhuo leaves his son out in the cold for a pretty face.

Now that they are not fighting Dong Zhuo anymore, the former coalition leaders have to do something to occupy their time. What better way is there to avoid idleness than waging war against each other?