Journey 034: Wukong’s Burdens
A demon in disguise finds the straw (or mountain) that breaks the monkey’s back.
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Transcript
Welcome to the Chinese Lore Podcast, where I retell classic Chinese stories in English. This is episode 34 of Journey to the West.
Last time, the pilgrims got a warning that the mountain they were heading into was occupied by — what else — a couple of vicious demons who were on the lookout for them and wanted a taste of San Zang’s tasty, immortality-granting flesh. So Sun Wukong decided to send Zhu Bajie on ahead to scout out the mountain for trouble. But Wukong also suspected that Bajie was going to literally fall sleep on the job, so he followed in secret. Sure enough, not only did Bajie decide to nap instead of actually scouting the mountain, he also made up a cover story. But when Bajie reported back to the group, Wukong promptly called him out on it and threatened to give Bajie five whacks with his golden rod.
Bajie panicked. “That mourning stick of yours is really heavy. A scratch would take off skin, and a light tap would break tendons. If you hit me five times with it, I’d be dead!”
“Serves you right for lying!” Wukong scoffed.
“Brother, I would never dare do it again! Just this once!”
“Just this once? Ok, then I’ll just hit you three times.”
“Grandaddy, please! Even once is too much!” Bajie pleaded. Dum-Dum then grabbed hold of San Zang and begged him to intervene.
San Zang scolded him, “When Wukong reported back that you were going to lie, I didn’t believe him, but it turned out to be true. You really do deserve a beating. But we’re crossing a mountain and we are short on manpower. Wukong, spare him for now. You can beat him once we’ve crossed the mountain.”
Hearing this, Wukong relented and told Bajie, “As the ancients said, ‘It’s a great act of filial piety to do as your parents tell you.’ Since master said to not beat you, I’ll spare you for now. Go scout this mountain again. If you dare to lie again, I swear I will not spare you.”
Dum-dum scrambled to his feet and headed off once more. This time, as he walked along the main path, he was paranoid with every step, thinking that Sun Wukong was tailing him again in disguise. So he thought everything was Sun Wukong. A couple miles on, a tiger darted across the hillside. Bajie wasn’t afraid of it, but he pointed with his rake and said to the tiger, “Brother, you’ve come to see if I’m spinning up lies again, right? Well, I won’t lie this time.”
A few more steps on, a strong wind suddenly blew and snapped a decaying tree trunk, sending it rolling along toward Bajie. He stamped his feet, beat his chest, and grumbled, “Brother, what the heck?! I’ve already told you I won’t lie again. Why are you turning into a tree and trying to hit me?!”
He walked on, and a bit later, a white-headed old crow flew overhead and cawed a few times. Bajie looked up and said, “Brother, have you no shame?! I said I won’t lie, but now you’ve turned into an old crow to eavesdrop on me?”
Well, as it turns out, none of those things were Sun Wukong, who was presently hanging out with San Zang and Sha Zeng. But Zhu Bajie was so paranoid that he was restless the whole way, thinking Wukong was hovering around somewhere as he trudged deeper into the mountain.
So, this mountain was actually called Flat-Top Mountain, and there was indeed a cave on the mountain. It was called Lotus Flower Cave. In that cave were two demon leaders. The elder one was named the Golden Horn King, while his junior partner was named the Silver Horn King. That day, they were sitting around, and Golden Horn asked Silver Horn, “Brother, are we patrolling the mountain regularly?”
“Yes, we’ve been doing it for half a month now,” Silver Horn replied.
“Brother, today, you go lead the patrol.”
“Why today?”
“You don’t understand. I recently heard that the Tang Kingdom in the East sent the imperial brother San Zang to the West to see the Buddha. There are four people in his party. The other three are called Sun Wukong, Zhu Bajie, and Sha Zeng. There are five total if you count the horse. If you run into them, capture them and bring them to me.”
“If we want to eat human flesh, we can just go grab a few from anywhere,” Silver Horn said. “Who cares about a monk? Just let him go.”
“You don’t understand. When I was in heaven back in the day, I often heard people say that San Zang was the 10th reincarnation of Golden Cicada. He has not lost a drop of his original essence. Whoever eats his flesh would live forever.”
“If that’s the case, then what need would we have for cultivating our Dao?!” Silver Horn said excitedly. “We definitely should eat him then. Let me go catch him.”
“Brother, you’re a bit impatient,” Golden Horn said. “But don’t be in such a hurry. You can’t just go out and capture any monk that passes through. They might not be the Tang monks. I remember their appearances. I’ve drawn up a picture of the four of them. Take the drawing with you. If you run into any monks, compare them to the drawing.”
So Golden Horn showed Silver Horn the drawing and pointed out each of the pilgrims by name. Silver Horn then took the drawing, called up 30 demon lackeys, and went off on patrol.
Lo and behold, it wasn’t long before they ran smack dab into Zhu Bajie. They blocked his path and demanded to know his name. Dum-dum wasn’t paying attention and was caught off guard. When he looked up and saw the gang of demons, he panicked and thought to himself, “If I say I’m a scripture pilgrim, they’re going to capture me. Let me just say I’m a random passerby.”
And so that’s what he told the demon lackey who asked for his name. The lackey reported back to Silver Horn, but a few of the lackeys in the group recognized Bajie from the drawing and they told Silver Horn, “My lord, this monk looks like that Zhu Bajie from the drawing.”
Silver Horn ordered them to open up the drawing so he could compare. A lackey hung the drawing from his spear, and Silver Horn went across, checking off each portrait, saying, “The one on the white horse is San Zang. The hairy-faced one is Sun Wukong …”
Hearing this, Bajie muttered to himself, “Oh city god, please leave me out of that picture. I’ll offer you a sacrifice of pigs head, the three animals, and 24 cups of pure wine …”
But as he was praying, Silver Horn continued, “And that tall dark one is Sha Zeng, and the one with long snout and big ears is Zhu Bajie.”
When he heard that, Bajie hurriedly tucked his snout into his shirt.
“Hey monk, show me your mouth!” Silver Horn demanded.
“Uhh, I’m sick, I can’t show my face,” Bajie said.
Silver Horn, though, wasn’t buying it. He ordered his lackeys to go pull Bajie’s snout out with a hook. When he heard that, Bajie stuck his snout out and said, “Damn you! Here it is. Look all you want!”
Silver Horn recognized that it was indeed Zhu Bajie, so he pulled out his sword and attacked. Bajie blocked him with the rake. But that made Silver Horn chuckle and say, “Looks like this monk took his vows quite late in life.”
“Clever boy!” Bajie shot back. “How did you guess?”
“You know how to wield this rake. You must have been a gardener on somebody’s estate and stole this rake.”
“Boy, you have no idea what kind of rake this is,” Bajie said. “This is no ordinary gardening rake.”
He then launched into a little verse extolling the virtues of his rake:
“Its teeth are like a dragon’s claws,
Flecked with gold in tigerish shapes.
Against a foe it blows a freezing wind,
And in a battle it shoots out flame.
It brushes away obstacles in the Tang monk’s path,
Capturing devils on the way to the Western Heaven.
When whirled, its vapors obscure the sun and moon,
And its black clouds darken the stars.
When it flattens Mount Tai the tigers tremble;
Dragons are frightened when it overturns the ocean.
Even if you have some tricks, you monster,
One blow from this rake will leave nine bloody holes.”
But Silver Horn was nonplussed. He raised his Seven-Star Sword and attacked. After 20 exchanges, neither had the upperhand. Zhu Bajie now showed his furious feral hog side, charging with ears perked up, saliva flying, and his rake twirling while he shouted. This sight of a mad pig charging at him put Silver Horn on his heel, and he called out for his lackeys to gang up on Zhu Bajie.
The sight of the 30 lackeys swarming in made Bajie panic. He turned and fled. But the road was uneven. In his haste, he tripped over a vine and fell. Before he could get up, a demon lackey grabbed him by the ankles, tripping him up again. The rest of the lackeys now caught up and, each grabbing some piece of him, dragged him back to their cave.
“Brother, I got one!” Silver Horn shouted excitedly as he reported to Golden Horn.
Golden Horn was ecstatic and ordered the captured monk to be brought before him. But one look at Zhu Bajie, and he lamented, “Brother, you got the wrong one. This monk is of no use.”
Zhu Bajie immediately piped up, “My lord, since I’m a useless monk, you might as well just let me go.”
But Silver Horn said, “Brother, don’t let him go. Even though he’s not the one we’re after, he’s still a member of the Tang monk’s party. His name is Zhu Bajie. Let’s soak him in the pool in the back until his bristles fall off. Then we can rub salt on him and dry out his meat. Then we can eat him with our wine on a rainy day.”
“Ah dammit!” Bajie moaned. “I just HAD to run into a demon who’s a salt-pork peddler!”
As he groaned, the lackeys carried him to the back and chucked him into the pool to soak.
Meanwhile, farther back on the mountain, the rest of the pilgrims were waiting for Bajie to come back. San Zang felt restless and asked Sun Wukong, “What’s taking Bajie so long to come back from scouting this time?”
“Master, you still don’t understand how he thinks?” Wukong chuckled.
“What do you mean?”
“Master, if there were demons on this mountain, he won’t take even half a step before making all sorts of ruckus and running back to let me know. The way I figure it, there must not be any demons, and the road was smooth, so he just kept going and crossed the mountain.”
“If that’s the case, where would we meet up with him? This is in the middle of nowhere, not like in a town or city.”
“Master, don’t worry. Please get on your horse. That dum-dum is a bit lazy, so he’s not going to walk that fast. Just spur on the horse a bit, and we’ll catch up to him and travel together.”
So San Zang mounted his horse, Sha Zeng carried the luggage, and Wukong led the way as they continued to cross the mountain.
Back at Lotus Flower Cave, the senior demon, Golden Horn, told Silver Horn, “Brother, since you’ve captured Zhu Bajie, the Tang monk must be around. Go patrol the mountain again. Don’t let him slip by.”
So Silver Horn called up 50 lackeys and resumed his patrol. As they walked, they saw auspicious looking clouds hovering in the distance. Silver Horn said, “That’s the Tang monk, coming this way!”
His lackeys asked where, and Silver Horn explained, “Good people have auspicious clouds above their heads, while darkness emanates from the wicked. That Tang monk is a reincarnation of Golden Cicada and has been cultivating kindness for 10 lifetimes. That’s why he has such auspicious clouds above him.”
The other demons, though, couldn’t see it. Silver Horn pointed at the clouds, and in that moment, San Zang, sitting in the saddle, suddenly shivered. Silver Horn pointed three times, and each time, San Zang felt a disturbance in the force, which left him feeling uneasy.
“Pupils, why am I shivering?” he asked.
Sha Zeng said, “You might have indigestion.”
“Nonsense,” Wukong cut in. “Master is traveling in this treacherous mountain, so he must have gotten startled. No worries. Let me use my rod to help you calm down.”
As he spoke, he started twirling his rod in front of San Zang’s horse as they walked on. The sight of Wukong’s prowess struck fear into the heart of Silver Horn as he looked on from a peak. He couldn’t help but say, “I had heard them talk about Sun Wukong. Today, I see he truly lives up to his reputation.”
The lackeys asked, “My lord, why do you talk up others and diminish your own prowess?”
“That Sun Wukong is very powerful. I’m afraid the Tang monk is off the menu.”
“My lord, if you can’t handle him, then let a few of us go inform our leader, and have him come out with everyone, line up in formation, and fight together. Then there’s no chance they’ll get away!”
“Don’t you all see Sun Wukong’s rod? He has the valor to match 10,000 men. We only have four or five hundred men. We can’t even withstand one blow from his rod.”
“So, if we can’t eat the Tang monk, did we catch Zhu Bajie for nothing?” the lackeys asked. “Then why don’t we just return him?”
Now, these are some awfully accommodating demon lackeys. But Silver Horn said, “No, it wasn’t for nothing, and we can’t give him back willy nilly. We still must eat the Tang monk, just not immediately.”
“Then we need to wait a few years?” the lackeys asked.
“Not that long. We must try to capture the Tang monk by cunning rather than by force. If we try to take him by force, we won’t even get a whiff. So we must use cunning to trick him, get on his good side, and then make our move.”
“My lord, if you’re using cunning, do you still need us?” asked the lackeys, who were apparently ready to call it a day.
“You all go on back to the lair, but don’t report this to our leader yet. If he gets surprised, word will leak out, and it’ll ruin my scheme. I’ll use a bit of transformation magic to catch the Tang monk.”
So while the lackeys went home, Silver Horn leaped down from the peak to the side of the road, where he twisted and turned into an old Daoist priest with a bloody leg. He lay down on the side of the road, pretending to have broken his leg, and moaning, “Help! Help!”
Soon, San Zang and company approached and heard someone call out, “Elder, save me!”
“Mercy, mercy,” San Zang said. “There are no households anywhere around in this wilderness. Who could be calling out? Someone must’ve gotten attacked by wild animals.”
So he turned around his horse and called out, “Who’s in trouble?”
He saw an old Daoist priest crawl out from a clump of tall grass. The Daoist crawled to his horse and kowtowed. San Zang quickly dismounted and tried to help him up, but the Daoist just moaned in pain and showed the spot where his leg was bleeding.
“Sir, where did you come from?” San Zang said in alarm. “How did you injure yourself?”
“Oh elder. To the west of the mountain, there is a quiet temple. I am a Daoist from there.”
“Why were you walking around here instead of tending to incense and cultivating your Dao in your temple?”
“Yesterday, a benefactor who lives to the South of here invited us to perform a service for his natal star and spread blessings for him. My disciple and I were traveling when we suddenly ran into a fierce tiger. The tiger snatched my disciple. I ran for my life and tripped and fell on a rocky slope, injuring my leg. And I also don’t know the way back. But thanks to heaven’s blessings, I ran into you. Please exercise your compassion and save my life. If I can make it back to my temple, I will repay your immense kindness, even if I have to sell myself.”
Taking him at his word, San Zang said, “Sir, we’re all from the same trade. I’m a monk, and you’re a Daoist. Although we wear different clothes, we both pursue the same cultivation. I would not be a man of religion if I didn’t save you. But can you walk?”
“I can’t even stand, much less walk,” the priest lamented.
“Ok, I can walk, and you can ride my horse,” San Zang said. “Once you reach your temple, then I’ll take my horse back.”
“Elder, I appreciate your kindness, but my leg is injured. I can’t ride.”
“That’s true,” San Zang said. He then told Sha Zeng, “Stash the luggage on my horse, and you carry him for a stretch.”
Sha Zeng agreed, but the priest took one look at him and said to San Zang, “Elder, I was startled by the tiger, and this elder’s appearance frightens me even more. I don’t want him to carry me.”
“Then Wukong, you carry him,” San Zang said.
Wukong agreed, and as it so happens, that’s exactly what the priest, aka Silver Horn, had in mind. So he did not object.
While Wukong was putting the priest on his back, Sha Zeng chuckled, “This old priest really doesn’t know any better. You spurned me, but wanted the monkey to carry you? If it weren’t for our master, he would throw you against some sharp rocks and shatter your sinews.”
Wukong smiled and said to the priest as he put the guy on his back, “Oh you two-bit demon. How dare you come looking for trouble. Don’t you know what an old hand I am at this? Your BS can only fool the Tang monk. It can’t fool me. I know you are a demon from this mountain, and you want to eat my master. But my master is no ordinary man; he’s not for you to eat. And besides, if you were to eat him, you’d have to share half with me.”
The priest replied, “Elder, I was a child from a good family and turned to the Dao. I was unfortunate to run into a tiger today. I’m no demon.”
“Oh you’re afraid of a tiger? Then why don’t you recite the Great Bear Scripture?” Wukong asked, referencing a Daoist text.
San Zang overheard this as he was mounting his horse, and he scolded Wukong, “You insolent ape! As the saying goes, ‘Saving someone’s life is worth more than building a seven-story pagoda.’ Just carry him, and quit talking about Great Bear or Little Bear Scriptures!”
Wukong said to the priest, “Lucky for you, my master is a compassionate man, and he has a little rough edge under his gentle exterior. If I don’t carry you, he’d blame me. Fine, I’ll carry you. But let me make it clear up front: If you need to relieve yourself, give me a holler first. If you pee on my back, it’s going to stink and it’ll stain my clothes, and there’s no one here to wash it.”
“Of course, I’m old enough to understand that,” the priest said.
So Wukong put the priest on his back and walked down the road with the rest of the party. Whenever they came across an uneven stretch in the path, Wukong slowed down and let San Zang go ahead of him. After just a mile or so, San Zang and Sha Zeng had gone on ahead into a canyon, while Wukong lagged behind.
Not seeing any sign of his master or fellow disciple, Wukong started grumbling in his mind. “Master doesn’t have any good sense despite his age. Such a long journey is a toll even if you were walking empty-handed. And yet he made me carry this damn demon. Even if this guy was just a good person instead of a demon, he should be dead at this age. Ah hell! Let me just hurl him to his death so I don’t have to keep carrying him!”
But while Wukong was plotting, his passenger was also plotting. Silver Horn got an inkling that Wukong was going to try something, so he uttered a little spell to move Mount Sumeru through the air and dropped it on top of Wukong. Wukong, though, ducked and bore the mountain on his left shoulder.
“My son,” Wukong chuckled, “you’re using some magic to increase your weight to crush me? I’m not afraid of that, but an unbalanced load is hard to carry.”
“A single mountain can’t pin him down?!” Silver Horn said in surprise. But he quickly uttered another spell and moved Mount Emei (2,2) through the air and dropped it on Wukong, who bore this mountain on his right shoulder. Despite now carrying two sacred mountains on his back, Wukong continued to pick up the pace to catch up to San Zang.
The sight of this made Silver Horn sweat. But he now uttered one more spell and moved yet another sacred mountain, Mount Tai (4), and dropped it on Wukong. This one landed squarely on Wukong’s head. Wukong was exhausted at this point, and when this third mountain landed, he crumbled and blood spurted from his orifices as the mountains smushed him into the ground.
With his main concern taken care of, Silver Horn now took to the air and caught up to San Zang. He reached down from the clouds to grab San Zang. Sha Zeng hurriedly tossed aside the luggage, pulled out his Buddhist spade, and blocked the demon. Silver Horn then pulled out his Seven Star Sword to take on Sha Zeng. The two engaged in a fierce back-and-forth for a bit, but Silver Horn soon proved to be too much for Sha Zeng, as his sword surged forward like comets. Sha Zeng couldn’t hold his ground, so he tried to fall back. But Silver Horn knocked away his spade, reached out to grab Sha Zeng, and tucked him under his left arm. Then, reaching out with his right hand, he grabbed San Zang off his horse. With his feet, he scooped up the luggage, and opening his mouth, he grabbed the mane of San Zang’s horse in his teeth. And in this wa, he flew back to his cave, like someone walking from the car to the house with too many bags of groceries just so he can save a second trip.
“Brother, I’ve got the monk!” Silver Horn shouted excitedly as he entered the cave.
The demon leader, Golden Horn, was elated. He asked to have a look, so Silver Horn presented San Zang and Sha Zeng. But Golden Horn lamented, “Oh brother, this is still not right.”
“But you said to catch the TAng monk.”
“Yes, you caught the Tang monk, but you haven’t caught that skillful Sun Wukong. Only when we have captured him can we eat the Tang monk. Until then, we can’t touch these other pilgrims. That monkey is very powerful and can transform into anything. If we ate his master, how can he let it go? If he comes to our door, then we would never know peace.”
Silver Horn laughed, “Brother, you really know how to talk him up. Listening to you, one would think he’s a rarity in heaven and one-of-a-kind on earth. But in my view, he’s just so-so. He doesn’t have any great skills.”
“You caught him?” Golden Horn asked.
“I’ve pinned him under three giant mountains. He can’t move an inch. That’s how I managed to bring the Tang monk, Sha Zeng, the horse, and the luggage all back here.”
Golden Horn was delighted. “Wonderful! Wonderful! Once we’ve captured that monkey, then we can eat the Tang monk!”
He then ordered the demon lackeys to serve wine to Silver Horn to congratulate him on a job well done. But Silver Horn said, “Brother, don’t worry about wine yet. Tell the little ones to scoop Zhu Bajie out of the pool and hang him up.”
So the lackeys hung up Zhu Bajie in the east wing of the cave, Sha Zeng in the west wing, and San Zang in the center. The horse was taken to the stables, and the luggage was stashed away.
Now, Golden Horn said to Silver Horn, “Brother, you’ve got some skills, capturing these three monks on two trips. But even though Sun Wukong is pinned under a mountain, we still need to take care of him. How can we catch him and cook him?”
“Brother, rest easy. The two of us don’t even have to move in order to capture Sun Wukong. Just send a couple lackeys with two of our treasures to bottle him up.”
“Which treasures?”
“Take my Purple-Gold Red Gourd and your Mutton Fat Jade Vase.”
So Golden Horn took out the two magical items and asked whom they should task with that errand. Silver Horn said, “Let’s send Meticulous Imp and Clever Bug.”
So they summoned the two lackeys and told them, “Take these two treasures and head to the top of the mountain. There, turn these two treasures upside down, and shout Sun Wukong’s name. If he answers, he will immediately be bottled up in the gourd or the bottle. Then, immediately slap this label on the container. The label says, ‘By the order of Laozi, to be carried out urgently in accordance with the celestial decree!’ Then, within just three-and-a-half hours, Sun Wukong will be dissolved into pus.”
The two lackeys, Meticulous Imp and Clever Bug, bowed to accept their orders and set out with the magic gourd and vase. To see how this monkey-fetching plan will go, tune in to the next episode of the Chinese Lore Podcast. Thanks for listening!
Music in This Episode
- “Luỹ Tre Xanh Ngát Đầu Làng (Guzheng) – Vietnam BGM” by VPRODMUSIC_Asia_BGM
- “Day of Recon” by Max Surla/Media Right Productions (from YouTube audio library)
- “The Quiet Aftermath by Sir Cubworth (from YouTube audio library)
- “Slow Times Over Here” by Midnight North (from YouTube audio library)