Gods 079: Eyes and Ears
The Zhou forces find themselves stymied by a pair of new enemy recruits who seem to be always a step ahead of them.
Transcript
Welcome to the Chinese Lore Podcast, where I retell classic Chinese stories in English. This is episode 79 of Investiture of the Gods.
Last time, the combined forces of the Zhou and 600 nobles were facing off against a Shang army led by three demons. Meanwhile, in the Shang capital, King Zhou was up to his usual cartoonish super-villainy. He listened to his demon queen, Daji, and cut off two men’s legs just so he could verify her hypothesis about their bone marrow. Then, she told him she could also predict things about fetuses in the womb, and the next thing you know, he was getting ready to cut open three pregnant women to see if she was right. That earned him an earful from one of his brothers and ministers, Ji (1) Zi (3).
With tears rolling down his cheek, Ji Zi said, “Everyone is created with the spirit and vitality of heaven and earth. We’re given the five senses to appreciate the greatness of the universe. As a ruler, the king is honored as the people’s father. How can he so cruelly and savagely cause his people to suffer? And once dead, life does not return. Everyone loves one’s body and abhors death. But YOU disdain heaven and refuse to cultivate your virtue. Both heaven and the people are enraged, and everyone is thinking about rebellion! Instead of reflecting on your errant ways, you’re going to kill innocent women? I worry that with 800 nobles assembling at Mengjin, our dynasty will fall any day. When they’re on your doorstep, who will defend this city for you? What a pity that the members of the House of Shang will be captured by others, our ancestral temples destroyed by others, our palaces occupied by others, and our civilians will become someone else’s subjects. Instead of mending your ways, you’re letting your woman talk you into amputating your people’s legs and cutting open pregnant women. I fear that when the Zhou gets here, they won’t even need to lay siege to the city. The people of the capital will deliver the city to them! The soldiers and the civilians despise you and lament that the Zhou can’t get here fast enough. They’re all dying to welcome the enemy. You may deserve to be imprisoned, but pity our 28 generations of wise rulers. Their altars will be destroyed by the nobles of the land. How can you bear to watch that?!”
Oh, so we’re back to this tired old chestnut, huh? Well, King Zhou knows how to deal with this kind of talk. He roared in anger, “You old scoundrel! How dare you insult your lord?! Guards, take him away and beat him to death!”
As the guards dragged Ji Zi away, he shouted back, “My death means little. But what a pity that you will doom the country and create everlasting regret for your descendants!”
At the foot of the terrace, three of Ji Zi’s kinsmen saw him being dragged from the top by guards, and they immediately rushed up, fell to their knees, wept, and begged King Zhou for mercy. After much pleading, he relented and said, “Based on your counsel, I will merely reduce Ji Zi to a commoner.”
But then the queen Daji rushed out from the back and said, “Your highness must not! Ji Zi insulted you to your face. If you let him go, he will hold a grudge and conspire with the enemy to cause trouble.”
“Then what should I do with him?” King Zhou asked.
“In my view, you can shave his head and imprison him in the palace as a slave, so that all can see the law being applied and no one else would dare to act up, including other officials.”
King Zhou went along with that idea and imprisoned his own kinsman as a slave. One of his other brothers who were present, Wei (1) Zi (3), watched the horror of it all and realized that there was no saving the Shang. After he and the other two members of the royal house descended the terrace, they wept aloud. Wei Zi then suggested to the other two, “Let’s flee somewhere else and live in anonymity, so as to preserve the line of our house.”
So the three of them packed up and left to live in obscurity. Meanwhile, atop the Deer Terrace, King Zhou got back to the science experiment he was running before being so rudely interrupted. He had the three pregnant women brought forth. Daji pointed at one of them and said, “She’s carrying a boy; he’s facing left.”
King Zhou signaled to his guards, and they promptly sliced open the woman’s womb and inspected the fetus, and sure enough, it was just as Daji predicted. They repeated this gruesome deed with the other two women, and Daji was correct on every count.
“You’re truly divine!” King Zhou praised her, standing amid this gory scene while up above, the sky turned dark and the light of the sun and the moon dimmed.
The next day, word came that three of his kinsmen had abandoned their homes and left for parts unknown. But King Zhou waved it off, “Wei Zi is old and would be useless even if he stayed here,” he scoffed. “And the other two also can’t do anything for me anyway. Good riddance. My commander Yuan Hong has been victorious, so the Zhou army won’t be able to do anything anyway.”
And so, he turned the debauchery dial up to 11 again, ignoring the affairs of state while continuing to go out of his way to draw the wrath of all who lived under his tyranny.
But meanwhile, he still had a recruitment poster out, and one day, two men answered the call. They both had vicious appearances. One had a blue face, eyes that resembled golden lamps, a huge mouth with protruding teeth, and a tall stature. The other had a face that resembled melon skin, a mouth that looked like a basin of blood, dagger-esque teeth, short red hair, and two horns atop his head.
They went to see Fei (1) Lian (2), the minister in charge of recruitment. He was taken aback by their appearances and asked for their names. They introduced themselves as brothers named Gao (1) Ming (2) and Gao Jue (2).
“We are civilians of the Shang,” the two said as they bowed. “We heard that Jiang Ziya was encroaching on the king’s territory, so we have come to volunteer our services to repay the state. We do not dare to hope for any remuneration; we only want to defeat the Zhou and cleanse the shame they have brought to the king.”
Fei Lian then brought them to the Deer Terrace and introduced them to the king. When he saw their strange appearances, King Zhou was also taken aback, but he said, “You two look like true heroes!” He then made them both high-ranking generals. They thanked him and went to a feast in their honor. The next day, they headed to Mengjin to join the fight, bringing with them rewards for the Shang army.
When they arrived at the front lines, they were greeted by the Shang commander Yuan (2) Hong (2). Yuan Hong and company received the king’s edicts and rewards, and welcomed their two new comrades. Yuan Hong immediately recognized Gao Ming and Gao Jue as a peach demon and a willow tree demon from Chessboard Mountain. In turn, they also recognized him as the white monkey demon from Osmanthus Mountain. They were all delighted to see each other.
The next day, Yuan Hong sent the Gao brothers out to challenge for battle. They did so, and Nezha went out to face them. He went out and saw two vicious looking figures approaching on foot. After trading names and a couple quick verbal jabs, they started trading blows. Nezha powered up to his eight-armed, three-headed form and hurled his Universal Ring, striking Gao Jue on the head, turning him into a cloud of golden sparks that soon dissipated. He then dropped his fire dome on Gao Ming and summoned the dragons to scorch him with their sacred fire, reducing him to ashes. This done, Nezha returned to camp and reported his victory to Jiang Ziya.
But the next day, word came that Gao Ming and Gao Jue were outside demanding battle yet again.
“You killed them yesterday, so why are they back again today?” Jiang Ziya asked Nezha.
“They must just have some little escape tricks,” Nezha said. “Please go out in person, and we will find out the truth.”
So Jiang Ziya ordered his forces and those of the 600 nobles to go out. As they lined up, across the way, Gao Ming said to his brother Gao Jue, “That Nezha said we just some little escape tricks and that they’re going to check us out.”
Hmm, how did he get word about what Nezha said in the Zhou camp? Anyway, the Zhou forces lined up and Jiang Ziya rode out to the front and shouted, “Gao Ming, Gao Jue. How dare you go against heaven’s will and resist our great force? You’re seeking your own destruction!”
Gao Ming roared with laughter and shot back, “Jiang Ziya, I know you’re a disciple of the Chan Sect. I figure you won’t have encountered true masters like us. Let’s fight it out today!”
As he spoke, he and his brother raised their weapons and charged. From the Zhou side, Nezha’s father Li Jing and Yang Ren, the guy with hands for eyes, rode out to face them. As they squared off, Yang Jian looked on from the Zhou lines and saw the Gao brothers’ demonic aura. After the fight went on for a bit, Yang Ren took out his magic fire fan and waved it at Gao Ming, but Gao Ming vanished in a streak of black light. Meanwhile, Li Jing uncorked his magic pagoda to trap Gao Jue inside, but Gao Jue also vanished in the blink of an eye.
Seeing this, the Shang commander Yuan Hong ordered his fellow demons Wu (2) Long (2) and Chang (2) Hao (4) to go fight. So they rode out and were met by Nezha and Yang Jian. As those four squared off, Yuan Hong galloped out on his white horse, raised his steel staff, and made for Jiang Ziya. But from behind Jiang Ziya, Thunderbolt and Wei Hu charged out to take him on. While Thunderbolt attacked from the air, Wei Hu unleashed his Demon-Taming Club. As the club came crashing down toward him, Yuan Hong quickly turned into a beam of white light and fled. His horse, however, was crushed to a pulp by the club.
Meanwhile, Yang Jian unleashed his Sky-Barking Hound against Chang Hao. However, Chang Hao was a snake demon, and he was able to turn into a gust of black smoke and run away. His comrade Wu Long was trapped by Nezha’s sacred fire dome, but he too managed to turn into a gust of blue smoke and slip away. So all that fighting was for naught.
After Jiang Ziya returned to camp, Yang Jian came to see him and said, “Today’s fight was useless. When I took leave of my master, he told me to beware of the Seven Demons of Osmanthus Mountain once I get to Mengjin. From what I saw today, none of our magic weapons are of any use, as the enemy managed to turn into smoke and run away. You need to devise a scheme to take them by cunning. Just slugging it out is futile.”
Jiang Ziya agreed. So that night, he summoned his officers and gave a written note each to Li Jing, Thunderbolt, Nezha, and Yang Ren. The notes ordered them to each take a direction and set up peach tree log pillars, spread dog blood on them, and write certain spells. Then, he gave a note to Yang Jian, telling him to prepare to summon thunder and attack from the top of the peach logs. Wei Hu was tasked with collecting bottles of blood from black chickens and dogs, mixing them with women’s urine and feces, and hurling them on Gao Ming and Gao Jue once they entered the trap. Everyone snapped to, and Jiang Ziya then went outside his camp and laid down his trap.
Meanwhile, over in the Shang camp, Gao Ming and his brother were having a big ol’ laugh, scoffing, “What a waste of time! Let’s see how you’re going to capture us!”
Umm … so, how did they know about Jiang Ziya’s plans? In any case, the next day, Jiang Ziya personally went to the Shang camp to demand battle. Yuan Hong sent out the Gao brothers, and they shouted, “Jiang Ziya, you call yourself the Grand Commander of the Shang Exterminating Army. But in our view, you’re nothing but a scoundrel! You’re a disciple of the Chan sect. You should be deploying your troops to fight it out with us. Why are you setting up a trap and planning to douse us with chicken and dog blood? We aren’t ghosts! Why would we be afraid of your sorcery?!”
At that, they charged toward Jiang Ziya. The officers Wu (3) Ji (2) and Nangong Kuo rode out to take them on, and Jiang Ziya raised his sword and joined the fray. After a few exchanges, Jiang Ziya and company turned and fled into their formation. Gao Ming laughed, “Don’t you run! I’m not afraid of your trap! Here I come!”
And so the two Gao brothers pursued them into the Zhou formation. As soon as they set foot inside the formation, the Chan sect disciples sprang the trap. While charms were raised in all four directions and the sound of thunder echoed across the sky, Wei Hu poured a bottle of blood, urine, and feces from the air. But by the time the filth splattered on the ground, the Gao brothers had long since escaped as beams of light.
When Jiang Ziya returned to camp, he sat down and fumed, “We must have spies in our camp who leaked word of our plan! Otherwise we would’ve succeeded today!”
Yang Jian said, “Daoist uncle, all the officers here have been with us since the beginning of our uprising. They have endured sieges by 36 armies, not to mention hundreds of battles that cost the lives of many loyal comrades to get through the five passes. Right now, victory is within grasp. Why would any of them betray us? In my view, Gao Ming and Gao Jue are not normal people; they must be demons. Think about it. Let me go find out the truth.”
“Where are you going?” Jiang Ziya asked.
“I cannot tell, or it might leak out and foil the plan,” Yang JIan answered.
So Jiang Ziya agreed to whatever Yang Jian had in mind, and Yang Jian took his leave that night. Meanwhile, the Gao brothers returned to camp and told Yuan Hong how they had foiled Jiang Ziya’s plan, and he sent another report of their success to the capital. Meanwhile, the Gao brothers had another good laugh over Yang Jian and Jiang Ziya’s conversation.
“You can go look all you want, and you still won’t find the truth!” they chuckled.
In any case, Yang Jian traveled to his master’s abode, the Golden Haze Cavern. He knocked, and momentarily, a young acolyte came out and asked what he was doing there. Yang Jian asked him to let their master know that he was seeking an audience. His master, Jade Tripod, immediately summoned him in and asked what he was doing there.
Yang Jian recounted what’s been happening, and Jade Tripod told him, “Those two are a peach demon and a willow demon from Chessboard Mountain. There, a peach tree and a willow tree have roots that wind for 10 miles. They soaked up the essence of heaven and earth, of the sun and the moon. Right now, on Chessboard Mountain, there is a temple to the Yellow Emperor. In that temple, there are idols of two ghost servants. One is named Thousand Mile Eye, and the other is named Favorable Wind Ear. Relying on the spirit of those two idols, one of these two demons can see everything as far as 1,000 miles away, or hear everything as far as 1,000 miles away. But farther than that, they cannot see or hear. You can tell Jiang Ziya to send men to Chessboard Mountain to dig up those two trees’ roots and burn them all. Then smash the idols in the temple so as to cut off the demons’ connection to their powers. Then, do this and this, and they will be doomed.”
Yang Jian now returned to the Zhou camp. When Jiang Ziya asked him how it went, Yang Jian simply shook his head and said nothing so as not to leak any secrets. Instead, he just told Jiang Ziya, “I dare not tell you, but please just do as I say.”
Jiang Ziya told him to go do as he saw fit, so Yang Jian ordered the rear column of the army to wave 2,000 red banners. He also ordered 1,000 soldiers to beat drums and gongs nonstop, so that their sounds filled the air.
Jiang Ziya was quite befuddled by this. Amid the sea of waving banners and the dint of drums and gongs, Yang Jian came to him and said, “Gao Ming and Gao Jue are peach and willow demons from Chessboard Mountain. They have tapped into the powers of two idols at a temple there who are named Thousand Mile Eye and Favorable Wind Ear. So right now I’m using the banners and the noise to keep them from seeing or hearing us.”
And then, Yang Jian relayed the rest of what Jade Tripod had told him, and Jiang Ziya immediately ordered Nezha’s father, Li Jing, to lead 3,000 men to go to Chessboard Mountain to dig up and burn the roots of the two trees. He also ordered Thunderbolt to go to the temple and smash the idols.
Meanwhile, in the Shang camp, the Gao brothers heard all the noise coming from the Zhou camp. Gao Ming tried to take a peek, but saw nothing but a sea of swirling red flags that made him go cross-eye. Gao Jue tried to listen in, and almost had his eardrums busted by the noise. So the two were quite restless but completely in the dark about the enemy’s plans.
The next day, Thunderbolt reported back that he had smashed the two idols and burned the temple to the ground. Jiang Ziya was delighted and immediately ordered his Daoist followers to set up a terrace with a giant urn in the center, and charms all around. By the time they got done, Li Jing had returned from destroying the roots of the two trees on Chessboard Mountain. At the same time, Jiang Ziya’s third provisions officer, the general Zheng (4) Lun (2), arrived with his shipment.
Over in the Shang camp, the commander Yuan Hong was thinking to himself, “We’ve fought numerous times against the enemy but have not gained any advantage. It’s been a waste of time and effort.”
So he secretly sent word to his demon comrades Chang (2) Hao (4) and Wu (2) Long (2), tellin gthem that he was going to send the Gao brothers to lead a night raid on the Zhou camp. He also ordered his human officers to serve as backup.
Around dusk that evening, a wind suddenly whipped up in the Zhou camp and blew into Jiang Ziya’s tent. He thought it strange, so he cast a little divination with his fingers and was elated by the results. He immediately sent word out to all his officers to be ready, while he himself took a bath, ascended the terrace, and waited.
Around 9 p.m. that night, the Gao brothers led the front column of the Shang raiding party, while Yuan Hong led the second column. Behind them were the human officers. One of them, Lu (3) Renjie (2,2), said to another, Yin (1) Chengxiu (2,4), “Brother, in my opinion, tonight’s raid not only will not succeed, but is sure to end in disaster. Jiang Ziya is adept at war and knows how to adapt on the fly. And he has numerous powerful Daoists in his service. How can they not be prepared? Let the two of us hang back and proceed as the situation dictates.”
At the front of the column, the Gao brothers approached the Zhou camp, set off an explosive, and charged in with a loud roar. Yuan Hong, accompanied by his comrades Chang Hao and Wu Long, followed right behind.
From atop his terrace, Jiang Ziya was pacing with his hair down and his sword drawn. A dense fog now descended on the camp. Magical nets closed in from above and below, while lightning flashed, thunder roared, and the cries of battle raged nonstop. Within the camp, horns blew so loud that they shook heaven and earth.
As soon as Gao Ming and Gao Jue crashed into camp, they made for the command tent. But they were greeted by the roar of the Zhou army and the sound of an explosive. Li Jing, Yang Ren, Nezha, Thunderbolt, Yang Jian, and Wei Hu all charged out and encircled the Gao brothers. Jiang Ziya now unleashed his God-Beating Staff. With nowhere to run, the Gao brothers fell to the staff as it spilled their brains across the ground.
The second column of the raiding party now charged into the Zhou camp and were met by Nezha and others. As the two sides scrummed in the darkness, Wei Hu unleashed his Demon-Taming Club to hit the Shang demon general Wu Long, but Wu Long turned into a beam of light and vanished. Nezha tried to burn Chang Hao with his sacred fire dome, but Chang Hao made like his comrade and vanished in a beam of light as well. This was seriously getting old.
Meanwhile, the Shang commander Yuan Hong, being a monkey demon, had quite a few tricks up his sleeve. Amid the fighting, he released a spirit from his head. Yang Ren, the Zhou officer with hands for eyes, was just about to use his magic fire fan on Yuan Hong, but Yuan Hong’s spirit brought his staff down. Yang Ren couldn’t duck in time and took the blow right on his head, which killed him instantly.
The scrum went on till dawn broke, and then both sides broke off and retreated. When Jiang Ziya assessed the outcome, he lamented the loss of Yang Ren. Yang Jian told him, “Even though we killed the Gao brothers, we lost a top officer in Yang Ren. In my view, Yuan Hong and company are all demons and they will be hard to defeat quickly. The army cannot be stalled here for long. Let me go to Southern Tip Mountain to borrow the Demon Exposing Mirror to reveal their true forms. Only then can we capture them. Otherwise, this would go on indefinitely.”
Jiang Ziya agreed, so Yang Jian fast-traveled to Southern Tip Mountain, where he sought out the Chan Daoist Master of the Clouds. He asked the acolyte to announce him, and soon, he was invited in.
Yang Jian told his host, “Daoist uncle, I have come to borrow your Demon Exposing Mirror. Our army is at Mengjin, but a few demons are blocking our path and we can’t advance. Even though we’ve fought them a number of times, we can’t tame them. So I have come here with my commander’s permission to ask for your help.”
Master of the Clouds replied, “These are the Seven Demons of Osmanthus Mountain. Only you can capture them.”
He then handed over the mirror, and Yang Jian returned to camp and told Jiang Ziya that he was ready to take on the enemy.
On the Shang side, the commander Yuan Hong was talking strategy with his officers. The general Yin (1) Pobai (4,2) said, “If we don’t rout them in a big battle tomorrow, then the nobles would know no fear, and it won’t be easy to defeat them. If we let this drag on, our army will grow fatigued and things might turn against us.”
Yuan Hong agreed, so the next day, they marched out en masse, and Jiang Ziya and company did likewise. Once they lined up, Jiang Ziya told Yuan Hong, “Don’t you know that heaven’s will has long since belonged to the Zhou? Why do you block our army and cause the people to suffer? Surrender now, and you will be granted a title of nobility. Otherwise, you will regret it to no end!”
Yuan Hong roared in laughter and scoffed, “You’re but a old fool who was fishing by a stream. What skills do you have that you’d dare to boast thus?”
He then turned to his comrade Chang Hao and said, “Go apprehend Jiang Ziya for me!”
So Chang Hao galloped toward Jiang Ziya. From the Zhou side, Yang Jian rode out and the two started to tangle. After 15 exchanges, Chang Hao turned and rode away, and Yang Jian pursued. Just like before, Chang Hao suddenly revealed his demonic form, that of a huge white serpent. Enshrouded in black smoke, the serpent now turned around and attacked Yang Jian.
But Yang Jian saw this coming, and he immediately transformed into a giant winged centipede. He glided onto the head of the white serpent and chomped down with his sharp pincers, severing the snake’s head. As the snake’s body twisted on the ground, Yang Jian returned to his human form and cut the snake into a bunch of little pieces. And he wasn’t done. He now summoned a thunderbolt that incinerated the serpent pieces, reducing his foe to ashes.
Seeing his comrade bite the dust, Yuan Hong was enraged and charged with his steel staff, shouting, “How dare you harm my officer?!”
From the Zhou side, Nezha charged out to take him on. After a few bouts, Nezha summoned his sacred fire dome and trapped Yuan Hong. Nezha now tapped the side of the dome and unleashed its nine dragons, who surrounded Yuan Hong and started scorching him with sacred fire.
To see if Yuan Hong can get out of this alive, tune in to the next episode of the Chinese Lore Podcast. Thanks for listening!
Music in This Episode
- “Sao Meo” by Doug Maxwell / Zac Zinger
- “Slow Times Over Here” by Midnight North (from YouTube audio library)
- “Ravines” by Elphnt (from YouTube audio library)
- “Dark Toys” by SYBS (from YouTube audio library)
- “The Quiet Aftermath by Sir Cubworth (from YouTube audio library)