Gods 049: Marriage of Inconvenience
Deng Jiugong gets too clever by half in trying to scheme his way out of a prior promise.
Transcript
Welcome to the Chinese Lore Podcast, where I retell classic Chinese stories in English. This is episode 49 of Investiture of the Gods.
Last time, stumped by Tuxing Sun’s teleporting fast-travel abilities, Jiang Ziya sent Yang Jian to Dragon-Squeezing Mountain to see the Chan sect Daoist master Juliu (4,2) Sun to get to the bottom of Tuxing Sun’s origins. After first meeting a daughter of the Jade Emperor of Heaven and then finding some fancy swag and a couple new disciples, Yang Jian finally made it to his destination. He entered Juliu Sun’s cave and greeted him.
Juliu Sun asked him what he was doing there, and Yang Jian asked, “Daoist uncle, are you missing your Immortal Bounding Cord?”
“How did you know?” Juliu Sun asked in return.
“A man named Tuxing Sun accompanied the Shang general Deng Jiugong in leading an attack against Western Qi,” Yang Jian explained. “He used the Immortal Bounding Cord to capture some of Jiang Ziya’s disciples. I recognized that rope, so I came to ask you.”
Juliu Sun grew irate and cursed, “How dare that scoundrel sneak off the mountain and steal my treasure too? He’s causing me a whole heap of trouble. Yang Jian, you go on back to Western Qi first, and I’ll be right behind you.”
So Yang Jian returned to Western Qi and recounted the adventures on his trip. Jiang Ziya congratulated him on taking in a couple new disciples, and Yang Jian said, “It must have been preordained for me to discover the saber and robe. It must be all due to your great virtue and our lord’s immense blessings.”
Momentarily, word came that Juliu Sun had arrived. Jiang Ziya went out to greet him and they walked back inside hand-in-hand and sat down.
“Your esteemed disciple has defeated my forces time and again,” Jiang Ziya told Juliu Sun. “I didn’t know who he was, but then Yang Jian recognized the rope, so we had no choice but to trouble you to intervene. Please lend me a hand for Master Burning Lamp’s sake.”
“Since I left here after breaking the 10 formations, I had not yet taken inventory of my magic ropes,” Juliu Sun said. “Who knew that scoundrel would be causing trouble here! No worries, let’s do this and this, and we will capture him for sure.
The next day, the Shang commander Deng Jiugong got word that umm, Jiang Ziya was riding outside of our camp, just checking things out.
“He is skilled at military strategy; we must be on guard,” Deng Jiugong said.
Tuxing Sun cut in and reassured him, “Commander, don’t worry. Let me go capture him, and success will be ours.”
So Tuxing Sun quietly went out to the camp gate and shouted, “Jiang Ziya, you must be looking for death, to come here trying to scout our camp!”
As he spoke, he raised his staff to attack, and Jiang Ziya parried a few of his blows before turning around and riding away. Eager to capture him and cash in on Deng Jiugong’s promise of his daughter’s hand in marriage, Tuxing Sun gave chase and unleashed his Immortal Bounding Cord. The rope sailed high into the air like usual and … well, nothing. Hmm, maybe that was a defective magical rope? Tuxing Sun was intent on getting Jiang Ziya, so he just focused on giving chase and unleashed one rope after another, and yet, none of the ropes came down from the sky. Before long, he had used up all his ropes. When he reached for another and found none hanging from his waist, only then did Tuxing Sun stop with alarm.
Jiang Ziya now turned around and shouted back, “Tuxing Sun, do you dare to fight three bouts with me here?!”
Tuxing Sun was infuriated and charged. But as soon as he went around the city wall, he heard someone shouting, “Tuxing Sun, where are you going?!”
He looked up and saw that it was none other than his master Juliu Sun. And Juliu Sun was also the reason none of the magic ropes came back down once they went up in the air. Juliu Sun had been hiding in the sky and catching every rope that Tuxing Sun unleashed.
Startled to see his master, Tuxing Sun quickly tried to get away by ducking down into the ground and fast-traveling. But Juliu Sun simply pointed and said, “Don’t you go anywhere!” and the ground became harder than steel, and Tuxing Sun could not descend into it. Juliu Sun now caught up to him, grabbed him by his scalp, hogtied him with one of the ropes, and took him into the city.
All the Zhou officers assembled when they got word of Tuxing Sun’s capture. Juliu Sun set his prisoner down on the ground, and Yang Jian quickly warned, “Daoist uncle, don’t let him get away again.”
“No worries; I’m here,” Juliu Sun reassured him. He then turned to his prodigal disciple and scolded him, “You beast! After I returned home from breaking the 10 formations, I hadn’t yet done an accounting of my Immortal Bounding Cords. Who knew that you would steal them. Who made you do it? Tell me the truth!”
Tuxing Sun confessed, “Master, while you were away, I was playing on the mountain when a Daoist came by, riding on a tiger. He asked for my name, so I told him and I asked him who he was. He said he was Shen (1) Gongbao (1,4), a member of the Chan sect. He said that he didn’t think I would be able to attain immortality and that I should instead pursue wealth and prosperity in the mortal realm. He told me to go join Grand Tutor Wen, but I refused. So then he recommended me to Deng Jiugong at Three Peaks Pass. Master, I was temporarily misled. After all, everyone craves wealth and deplores poverty. So I got this silly notion and stole your ropes, two gourds of magic pills, and went down into the mortal realm. Master, Daoism is all about compassion. Please spare me!”
Jiang Ziya, though, had heard enough. He said to Juliu Sun, “Daoist brother, this animal has tainted our sect. He should be executed at once!”
Juliu Sun said, “On account of his ignorant offense, he should be executed. But consider this: You may have use for his abilities later. He could be a boost for Western Qi.”
Jiang Ziya, however, wasn’t so sure. “You taught him the earth fast-travel skill, and yet he was so wicked that he used it to sneak into the city to assassinate me and the Martial King. It’s only thanks to heaven sending an omen by snapping my banner that I became aware of the danger and was on guard. If something had gone wrong, then brother, you would be implicated too. Thankfully, Yang Jian used a scheme to capture him, but then he slipped away. What’s the point of leaving a creature like this around?”
When Juliu Sun heard this backstory, he was stunned. He stomped down from the hall and barked at his disciple, “You scoundrel! How dare you try to assassinate the Martial King and your Daoist uncle?! Thankfully nothing came of it. Otherwise, the offense would have been on my head!”
Tuxing Sun pleaded, “Master, I’ll tell you the truth: I followed Deng Jiugong on this campaign. First I used your rope to capture Nezha. Then I captured Huang Tianhua. And the third time I tied up my Daoist uncle. Seeing my success, Commander Deng offered his daughter to me. He was the one pressing me to do it. I had no choice. I would not dare to lie to you!”
Hearing this, Juliu Sun thought for a while and then did a little divination before letting out a long sigh. When Jiang Ziya asked why he sighed, he explained, “Based on my divination just now, this scoundrel and that girl were destined to be together. This was preordained, not a coincidence. If we can get them together, then her father will soon be an official of the Zhou as well.”
“But we are enemies; how can this be done?” Jiang Ziya said.
“The Martial King is blessed and virtuous. Heaven has ordained this; there’s no getting around it. Send a skilled orator to the Shang camp to make this pitch. You will succeed for sure.”
Jiang Ziya looked down and thought quietly for a long while, and then said, “This must require the services of Minister San (4) Yisheng (2,1).”
“In that case, let’s not delay,” Juliu Sun urged.
So Jiang Ziya invited San Yisheng over, and the top minister soon arrived. Jiang Ziya told him, “Deng Jiugong has a daughter named Deng Chanyu (2,4). Deng Jiugong had offered her in marriage to Tuxing Sun. I must trouble you to go to the Shang camp to play matchmaker. Proceed as the situation dictates; you must succeed.”
Jiang Ziya then offered a suggestion on how to proceed, and San Yisheng accepted his command and left the city.
Meanwhile, in the Shang camp, Deng Jiugong sent out scouts to see what was taking Tuxing Sun so long, and they came back and told him that Tuxing Sun had been captured and taken into Western Qi. Deng Jiugong was stunned and quite displeased. Just then, word came that San Yisheng was outside, seeking an audience.
“We are at war; why are they sending an envoy here if not to try to talk me into joining them?” Deng Jiugong said. “I can’t let him into camp to mess with my troops’ morale. Go tell him, ‘Our states are in a war against each other; it’s not appropriate for us to meet.’ ”
When the guard brought this message to San Yisheng, he said, “Even when two states are at war, they do not turn away envoys. What’s the harm in a meeting? I have come on Prime Minister Jiang’s command to deliver a message in person. It cannot be relayed by anyone else. Please go announce me to your commander again.”
When the guard relayed this answer to Deng Jiugong, he couldn’t decide what to do. His general Tai (4) Yuan (2) said, “Commander, you can let him in and then see what he has to say and act accordingly to our advantage. There’s no harm in that.”
Thus convinced, Deng Jiugong summoned San Yisheng. San Yisheng entered and traded greetings with Deng Jiugong outside the main tent and then went in and sat down.
“Minister, you and I serve states that are at war with each other. The outcome has not been decided, and we each serve our own master. So how can we hold any private conversations? Today, we must be all business. Don’t try any verbal trickery. It will be in vain. My heart is as firm as steel and will not waver, not even in death.”
San Yisheng smiled and replied, “Commander, we ARE in fact serving states that are at war against each other, so how would I dare to come see you lightly? I’ve come to ask for your opinion on an important matter. That’s all. Yesterday, we captured one of your officers. When we questioned him, we found out that he’s your son-in-law. Our prime minister didn’t want to execute him and break apart a pair of lovebirds, so he sent me here to talk to you first.”
“Wait, who’s my son-in-law that got captured?” Deng Jiugong said with surprise.
“Commander, there’s no need to deny it. It’s your son-in-law Tuxing Sun.”
When he heard that, Deng Jiugong’s face got flushed and he flew into a rage, shouting, “Minister! I only have one daughter, her name is Chanyu (2,4). She lost her mother at an early age, and I have adored her like a treasure. How could I marry her off lightly? Even though many suitors have asked for her hand, none of them were good enough for her in my eyes, much less that Tuxing Sun. This is nonsense!”
San Yisheng replied, “Commander, please calm down and listen to me. When our ancestors chose a son-in-law, they didn’t insist that the bride and groom be of equal status. Besides, Tuxing Sun is also not some nobody. He’s a standout disciple of Master Juliu Sun from Dragon-Squeezing Mountain. It’s just that Shen Gongbao has a grudge against Jiang Ziya, so he talked Tuxing Sun into coming to join your campaign against Western Qi. Yesterday, Tuxing Sun’s master arrived and captured him and found out about this. Even though Tuxing Sun was misled by Shen Gongbao, he had nonetheless gained your favor and your promise of your daughter’s hand in marriage. It was for this that he tried to assassinate our king and prime minister. He wanted to help you attain success so that he could marry your daughter. After he was captured, he kept telling our prime minister and his master that he would not die in peace if he couldn’t marry your daughter. They both rejected his plea, but I was there and took pity on him. I didn’t want to see this good match destroyed because of one misstep. So I convinced Prime Minister Jiang to spare his life for now while I came here to talk to you and ask you to agree to this match, which would bring happiness to your daughter and Tuxing Sun AND show your love as a parent. That’s why I risked my life to come see you. Commander, if there was truly such a promise of marriage, then Prime Minister Jiang will send Tuxing Sun back to you so he can complete the marriage, and then we can get back to fighting. That’s all.”
Deng Jiugong said, “Minister, you don’t understand. This is all a lie by Tuxing Sun. He was recommended to me by Shen Gongbao, but he’s nothing more than a low-level officer. How can I give him my daughter? He’s just trying to save his own neck. Don’t believe him!”
“Commander, no need to be so obstinate,” San Yisheng pressed. “There must be more to this. How could Tuxing Sun have just concocted this whole story from nothing? There must be some truth to it. Maybe you were drinking and praising him, or maybe you were trying to ensure his loyalty, and he thought you were serious?”
Now, THAT got right at the thought on Deng Jiugong’s mind. Remember, he had made that statement about offering his daughter’s hand in marriage to Tuxing Sun in the spur of the moment while he was buzzing. He now fessed up and told San Yisheng how that came to be and said, “I said what I said so as to commend him for his success so he would fight even harder and help us achieve victory sooner. But since he’s been captured by you, how can he trot that out as a promise and make you come on this errand?”
San Yisheng laughed and replied, “Commander, you’re wrong. A gentleman’s word, once given, cannot be taken back. And marriage is a huge matter. How can it be treated so lightly? Tuxing Sun has repeated what you told him, and soon all the world will repeat what Tuxing Sun has said. Once this gets out, everyone will believe it, and you know how people will talk. They will all think that you really did pledge your daughter to him. No one will believe that you unwillingly undertook this unthinkable course of action to play a trick on him for the sake of the country. How can you expose yourself to public ridicule? If you don’t go through with this, you will regret it for the rest of your life. I would feel sorry for you. You are the Shang’s commander; even children obey your orders. But if this gets out, well, I don’t know what to tell you.”
This spiel left Deng Jiugong at a loss for words. His officer Tai Yuan now whispered something in his ear, and Deng Jiugong’s countenance turned from troubled to happy, and he said to San Yisheng, “Minister, you are quite right. I have no choice but to obey. It’s just that because her mother died early, my daughter has not been properly instructed. So even though I may follow your advice, I don’t know if she would listen to me. Let me relay this to her and then I will send word to you in the city.”
So San Yisheng took his leave, and Deng Jiugong saw him off at the camp gate. Once San Yisheng got back to Western Qi, he told Jiang Ziya what Deng Jiugong said, and Jiang Ziya laughed aloud and said, “How can he fool me?!”
Juliu Sun also laughed and said, “Let’s see what they say first.”
In the Shang camp, Deng Jiugong now said to Tai Yuan, “Your advice was just a stopgap. How should we deal with this matter?”
Tai Yuan told him, “You can send a skilled orator tomorrow to tell them, ‘Our commander discussed this matter with his daughter, and she will obey. But because we are at war, she trusts no one. She will only believe it if Prime Minister Jiang personally comes to our camp to announce the engagement.’ Now, if Jiang Ziya refuses to come, then we’ll figure out something else. But if he comes, then he won’t be coming with a huge force. In that case, a single oaf can capture him. If he comes with an entourage, you can greet them at the camp gate and set up a separate banquet for his men. Then, you can have armed men lie in ambush. When you throw you wine cup to the ground as a signal, they will spring out and apprehend Jiang Ziya. It would be as easy as taking something out of a sack. Without Jiang Ziya, Western Qi will fall without a fight.”
Deng Jiugong was delighted with that plot. “Your advice is brilliant,” he told Tai Yuan. “But we must send someone who’s good with words and can adapt to the situation. It must be you. Please go tomorrow, and success will be assured.”
“If you don’t think me untalented, then I am willing to go to the Zhou camp and lure Jiang Ziya here,” Tai Yuan said. “We will be able to return home in victory without more hard fighting.”
So the next day, Deng Jiugong sent Tai Yuan to go to Western Qi to set their plan in motion. Tai Yuan introduced himself to the guards and asked for an audience with Jiang Ziya. When Jiang Ziya got word, he said to Juliu Sun, “It’s done!” He then summoned Tai Yuan into the city at once.
Tai Yuan entered and went to the prime minister’s office, where he was welcomed by Jiang Ziya and Juliu Sun. He bowed and said, “Prime minister, I am but a lowly soldier. How can I receive such an honor, to be welcomed by you in person?”
“Between two states, every envoy is a VIP; no need to be so humble,” Jiang Ziya said.
Tai Yuan bowed time and again to express his thanks before taking a seat. Jiang Ziya then said, “A couple days ago, my Daoist brother captured Tuxing Sun, and we were going to execute him. But then he kept pleading that your Commander Deng had pledged his daughter to him. I took pity, so I sent Minister San to your commander to get to the bottom of this. If your commander indeed made such a promise, then I will naturally release Tuxing Sun back to you, so that he and your commander’s daughter may be married. I thank your commander for receiving our message and promising to send us a reply. General, since you’re here, you must have instructions for me from your commander.”
Tai Yuan bowed and said, “Since you’ve asked, I dare not withhold the message. Our commander sends his regards, even though he hasn’t had time to write a reply. He said that he had made that promise while drunk. He didn’t expect that Tuxing Sun would get captured and relay that information to your excellency. But it’s done, and our commander does not dare to refuse. However, because his wife died young, our commander has always adored his daughter, so this matter must be handled according to proper custom. The day after tomorrow is an auspicious date. We hope Minister San and your excellency can bring Tuxing Sun back to our camp in person to announce the engagement. That will help our commander preserve his esteem, and then we can discuss state and military affairs. Would you consent to it?”
Jiang Ziya replied, “I know Commander Deng is a loyal and trustworthy gentleman. King Zhou had sent multiple armies here already, and they all resorted to force without giving us a chance to explain ourselves. We have always been loyal to the Shang and have never harbored any rebellious intent. We just wish we could have an opportunity to tell the king that. And now, heaven has granted us our wish. Through this marriage, we will have an opportunity to pour out our hearts to the king and to the world. The day after tomorrow, I will personally bring Tuxing Sun to your camp and enjoy the wedding banquet. Please relay this to your commander, and I will be eternally grateful!”
So Tai Yuan took his leave and went back to camp to tell Deng Jiugong what transpired. Deng Jiugong offered thanks to heaven and rejoiced, “Our king is blessed. The enemy will be walking into his own destruction!”
“Even so, we must be prepared,” Tai Yuan cautioned.
So Deng Jiugong ordered 300 soldiers, armed with daggers and short knives, to lie in wait outside the main tent. When they hear him throw his cup to the ground, they were to storm out and cut Jiang Ziya and whoever is in the Zhou entourage to smithereens. He also ordered two of his officers to each lead a squadron to lie in ambush on the left and right side of the camp to serve as backup, while Tai Yuan and Deng Jiugong’s son, Deng Shou (4), would block the front entrance. The “bride”, Deng Chanyu, would lead another squadron in the back of the camp to reinforce those three detachments.
Soon, the special day arrived. San Yisheng arrived at the Shang camp, where he was received first by Tai Yuan and then by Deng Jiugong.
“As we had agreed, Prime Minister Jiang is personally escorting the engagement gifts and coming this way with your son-in-law,” San Yisheng said. “He sent me on ahead to let you know.”
“Thank you for running back and forth,” Deng Jiugong said. “Please accept our thanks. How about if we just stand here and wait?”
“Oh, we won’t dare to trouble you,” San Yisheng said.
“Oh no trouble at all,” Deng Jiugong replied.
And so they stood outside the camp and waited. After a long while, Deng Jiugong could see Jiang Ziya approaching in the distance, seated atop his Four-Not-Like and accompanied by no more than about 60 people, none of whom were armed. Seeing this, Deng Jiugong secretly rejoiced.
When Jiang Ziya and company arrived at the camp entrance, he hurriedly dismounted, and Deng Jiugong rushed forward to welcome him. They traded over-the-top greetings and pleasantries, and then Jiang Ziya introduced Juliu Sun as Tuxing Sun’s master, and that was followed by more over-the-top greetings and pleasantries. Then, they all entered the camp together. The place was decked out, ready for an eventful day.
The whole party made its way to the main tent, where they once again went through all the prerequisite courtesies. Jiang Ziya then told his entourage, “Bring the presents.” The porters brought a big gift box near the tent and presented a listing of the gifts to Deng Jiugong. While he perused the list, one of the porters suddenly lit a stick of incense and used it to light a fuse inside the gift box. A second later, a huge explosive rang out from the box, sending shockwaves through the camp. Deng Jiugong was stunned, and before he could react, all the porters had whipped out weapons and stormed into the tent.
So yeah, Jiang Ziya came packing heat. The porters were all stout soldiers, along with a bunch of his officers, in disguise. As they bum-rushed the enemy, Deng Jiugong and Tai Yuan had no choice but to fall back. And the 300 guards that they had deployed in ambush around the tent could not hold their ground either. By the time Deng Jiugong got on his horse and rode back out to face the enemy, his camp was in total chaos. The three detachments that he had deployed as reinforcements came rushing in, but they were each met by a detachment of Zhou forces that surrounded them. When Deng Chanyu tried to come up from the rear of the camp to help, she was cut off by her, umm, fiance, Tuxing Sun.
With the tide turning against him, Deng Jiugong retreated, and his soldiers trampled each other in the chaos. Seeing her father run away, Deng Chanyu feigned a blow against Tuxing Sun and turned and rode away toward the South as well. Tuxing Sun was wary of her skills with hurling pebbles, so instead of giving chase, he unleashed a magic rope, and it tied her up and knocked her off her horse. Tuxing Sun then rushed forward, took her prisoner, and brought her back inside Western Qi.
Meanwhile, Deng Jiugong, his son Deng Shou (4), and his officers fled all the way to the foot of Qi Mountain before they were able to regroup their tattered army. When Deng Jiugong did a headcount, he realized that he had lost his daughter, and he was overcome by sadness and regret, but he had no choice but to tell his troops to pitch camp for the time being.
Inside Western Qi, Jiang Ziya and company returned in full victory. Once they sat down and received reports of everyone’s contributions, Jiang Ziya said to Juliu Sun, “Since it’s an auspicious day, let’s have Tuxing Sun complete his marriage to Miss Deng. What do you think?”
Umm … really man? Like we didn’t just crush her father’s forces and take her prisoner against her will? To see how this will go, tune in to the next episode of the Chinese Lore Podcast. Thanks for listening!
Music in This Episode
- “Sao Meo” by Doug Maxwell / Zac Zinger
- “Dark Toys” by SYBS (from YouTube audio library)
- “The Quiet Aftermath by Sir Cubworth (from YouTube audio library)
- “Comfortable Mystery 3 – Film Noire” by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100536; Artist: http://incompetech.com/)
- “Ravines” by Elphnt (from YouTube audio library)