Gods 048: Earth Traveler
The Shang’s diminutive weapon leaves Jiang Ziya and company all tied up in knots.
Transcript
Welcome to the Chinese Lore Podcast, where I retell classic Chinese stories in English. This is episode 48 of Investiture of the Gods.
Last time, Jiang Ziya and company were in a stalemate against the latest Shang army sent against them, led by Deng (4) Jiugong (3,2) and his daughter Deng (4) Chanyu (2,4), both of whom had been wounded in the fighting. But then, Deng Jiugong’s dwarf of a provision officer, Tuxing (3,2) Sun (1), arrived and impressed them with his Daoist healing magic. So the next day, Deng Jiugong made Tuxing Sun the vanguard general, and Tuxing Sun went out to challenge for battle.
When he arrived at the foot of Western Qi, Tuxing Sun shouted, “Tell that Nezha to come speak with me.”
Momentarily, Nezha rode out to the front lines on his hot wheels, and he looked across the way. But he didn’t see his opponent. So, remember that Tuxing Sun was barely 4 feet tall, and Nezha was literally looking past him, or over him, as he gazed across the line.
“Who is that?” Tuxing Sun shouted.
Only now did Nezha look down and saw this vertically challenged figure, dragging a steel staff behind him.
“Who are you? How dare you make a ruckus here?” Nezha asked.
“I am Tuxing Sun, Commander Deng’s vanguard general.”
“What do you want?” Nezha asked.
“I have come to apprehend you!”
Nezha just about doubled over laughing as he rode forward on his wheels and stabbed down at Tuxing Sun. Tuxing Sun raised his staff to counter. He was such a small target that Nezha, from atop his wheels, had a tough time actually striking him. And Tuxing Sun, being extremely nimble, kept jumping here and there while attacking, literally making Nezha sweat.
After this went on for a while, Tuxing Sun leaped back and shouted, “Nezha, you’re tall and I’m short. This is an awkward fight for both of us. Why don’t you get off your wheels and we’ll see who’s better?”
“This dwarf is looking to die,” Nezha thought to himself. So he hopped off his wheel and stabbed again at Tuxing Sun. But Tuxing Sun quickly dodged his thrust, leaped behind Nezha, and snuck in a blow across his leg. As Nezha was turning around, Tuxing Sun had leaped behind him again and snuck in two more blows.
By now, Nezha was getting frustrated and trying to use his Universal Ring. But Tuxing Sun beat him to the punch and unleashed one of the Immortal-Bounding Cords that he had stolen from his master when he went to join the Shang army. In an instant, Nezha was tied up, carried into the air, and dropped in front of the Shang camp.
Tuxing Sun now reported back to Deng Jiugong that he had captured Nezha alive, and a few soldiers carried in a bound Nezha and laid him flat on the ground.
“How did you tie him up like this?” Deng Jiugong asked.
“I have my ways,” Tuxing Sun replied.
Now, Deng Jiugong’s first inclination was to execute Nezha for the pain he caused when he broke Deng Jiugong’s arm. But then he thought, “Having captured one of the enemy’s top generals, I should send him to the capital for the king to deal with, as a sign of respect to his majesty and to show off our army’s courage.”
So he ordered Nezha be locked up in the back of the camp for now, and then he offered Tuxing Sun wine to celebrate his victory.
On the other side, scouts reported to Jiang Ziya that Nezha got captured by a streak of golden light. Jiang Ziya thought to himself, “Oh no, what weirdo did they get now?” The next day, Tuxing Sun was out there challenging for battle again, and this time Huang Tianhua volunteered to go fight him. He rode out on his jade qilin and shouted at Tuxing Sun, “You short bastard! How dare you harm my Daoist brother?!”
As he spoke, Huang Tianhua raised his mallets and brought them down toward the top of Tuxing Sun’s head. Tuxing Sun raised his staff to parry the blow, and they started going at it. After a few exchanges, Tuxing Sun again unleashed the Immortal Bounding Cord that he had stolen from his master, and just like Nezha, Huang Tianhua was immediately tied up and dropped off at the enemy camp. When Huang Tianhua was brought into the same cell as Nezha, the latter started giving him crap about getting captured, too, and it left Huang Tianhua fuming. But then Nezha told him, “Daoist brother, don’t get worked up. If we are destined to die, then getting mad won’t do any good. And if we are destined to live, then we’ll be fine.”
Meanwhile, Tuxing Sun was treated to another banquet by his commander Deng Jiugong for back-to-back victories. They drank to their hearts’ content until around 9 p.m. By now, Tuxing Sun was buzzing and started bragging to Deng Jiugong, “Commander, if you had made use of my talents earlier, we would have already captured Jiang Ziya and the Martial King, and attained victory long ago.”
Well, having seen no evidence to contradict that boast thus far, Deng Jiugong took it to heart. They kept on drinking, and by the time midnight rolled around, all the other officers went back to their tents, leaving Deng Jiugong and Tuxing Sun alone. As they continued to drink, Deng Jiugong, who was buzzing pretty good himself by now, said, “General Tu, if you can defeat Western Qi soon, then I will give you my daughter in marriage.”
Tuxing Sun was ecstatic upon hearing that and stayed up all night. The next day, Deng Jiugong ordered him to go fight again. So Tuxing Sun went out and demanded to speak with Jiang Ziya. Jiang Ziya came out with his officers, and Tuxing Sun strode forward and shouted, “Jiang Ziya, you are a learned Daoist from Kunlun Mountain. I have come specifically to capture you. Surrender now, so I don’t need to dirty my hands!”
But his challenge was greeted with a chorus of mocking laughter from the Zhou officers, who thought nothing of this little man with a big mouth. Jiang Ziya scoffed, “Judging by your appearance, you aren’t fit to wear the hat and robe of an official. What skills do you have that you dare to come apprehend me?”
Tuxing Sun decided to show rather than tell, as he swung his staff at Jiang Ziya, who defended himself with his sword. After a few bouts, Tuxing Sun unleashed his Immortal Bounding Cord once again, and Jiang Ziya couldn’t dodge it and was tied up and fell out of his saddle. Tuxing Sun’s soldiers swarmed forward to try to take him, but the Zhou officers rushed out, picked him up, and hustled him into the city.
Amid all this chaos, the Daoist Yang Jian noticed a golden streak of light and thought to himself, “There’s something odd about this.”
Meanwhile, Jiang Ziya’s officers brought him, still bound, back to his office compound. There, they tried to untie the rope, but it won’t budge. They tried to cut it with knives, and it only tightened its grip, sinking deeper into Jiang Ziya’s flesh, until he screamed, “Stop! Don’t try to cut it!”
The Martial King Ji Fa heard about this and rushed over to see for himself. When he saw Jiang Ziya’s predicament, he wept and said, “I don’t know what offense I have committed to cause the king to wage war against me year after year, disturbing our realm and our people, slaughtering our soldiers, and threatening our officers. What should I do? And now the Minister Father is suffering thus. It makes me restless!”
Standing to the side, Yang Jian took a closer look at the rope and thought, “Hey, this seems familiar. Could it be? Yes, it must be.”
Just then, word came that a young Daoist acolyte was outside seeking an audience with Jiang Ziya. This turned out to be White Crane Acolyte, the attendant to the head of the Chan sect, Heavenly Primogenitor. He came in and said to Jiang Ziya, “Daoist uncle, our master has sent me to bring a charm to release the rope.”
As he spoke, White Crane Acolyte attached the charm on the end of the rope, pointed at it, and the rope instantly fell to the floor. Jiang Ziya hurriedly kowtowed in the direction of Kunlun Mountain to thank his master, and White Crane Acolyte took his leave.
Yang Jian now said to Jiang Ziya, “That rope is the Immortal Bounding Cord.”
“How can that be?” Jiang Ziya said. “There’s no way Juliu (4,2) Sun (1) would want to do me harm. That’s nonsense!”
The next day, Tuxing Sun again came to challenge for battle, and Yang Jian volunteered to go meet him. He rode out with spear in hand, and Tuxing Sun asked who he was.
“What magic did you use to tie up my Daoist uncle?” Yang Jian said. “Don’t you run!”
As the two traded blows, Yang Jian kept a close eye on Tuxing Sun’s every move. After a few exchanges, Tuxing Sun again used his magic rope, and sure enough, with a streak of light, Yang Jian was all tied up. Tuxing Sun now ordered his soldiers to carry Yang Jian back to camp. As they approached the camp gate, they suddenly heard a noise and all the soldiers carrying Yang Jian fell to the ground. Where Yang Jian had been, there was now just a big rock.
Everyone was stunned, including Tuxing Sun, who fell into silence. Just then, they heard Yang Jian shouting from nearby, “You scoundrel! How dare you try your dirty tricks on me?!”
As he spoke, Yang Jian galloped toward Tuxing Sun and stabbed at him, and Tuxing Sun countered with his staff. As they were tangling, Yang Jian suddenly summoned his Sky-Barking Hound. As soon as Tuxing Sun saw this though, he turned and vanished from sight.
“With someone like this on the Shang side, victory will be hard to come by,” a stunned Yang Jian said.
He now returned to the city. Jiang Ziya saw a look of worry on his face and asked why. Yang Jian replied, “Western Qi has encountered yet another obstacle. That Tuxing Sun is skilled at fast-travel via the earth element. What can we do? We must be on guard against it, but how? What if he sneaks into the city? How can we prepare against that?!”
“It’s really that bad?!” Jiang Ziya asked.
“When he tied you up the day before, I recognized that he was using the Immortal Bounding Cord,” Yang Jian explained. “And today I let him tie me up, and I had a close look and confirmed that it was indeed that magic rope. Let me go to Dragon Squeezing Mountain and ask Juliu (4,2) Sun about it.”
“But before we can worry about the long-term problem, we must first guard against him coming into the city,” Jiang Ziya said.
Meanwhile, in the Shang camp, Tuxing Sun reported back to Deng Jiugong, who asked how the fight went. Tuxing Sun recounted his clash against Yang Jian, and Deng Jiugong said, “I hope we can sack Western Qi soon and return in victory, so that your great service would not be in vain.”
Tuxing Sun now thought to himself, “Why don’t I sneak into the city tonight and assassinate Ji Fa and Jiang Ziya. Then success would be ours immediately, and I can get married. What a great thing that would be!”
So he said to Deng Jiugong, “Commander, no need to worry. I will go into Western Qi tonight and bring back the heads of Ji Fa and Jiang Ziya and take them back to the court. Without their leaders, the forces of Western Qi will naturally disssolve.”
“How would you get into the city?” Deng Jiugong asked.
“My master taught me fast-travel skills that allow me to cover great distances. Entering the city is no problem.”
Deng Jiugong was delighted with this plan and bestowed more wine on Tuxing Sun.
Inside the city, Jiang Ziya was brooding about the current state of affairs when suddenly a strange wind blew across his office compound and snapped his main banner in two. He was shocked and quickly set up incense and cast a divination. As soon as he read the results, he smacked his desk and shouted, “Oh crap!”
He then told his men to invite Ji Fa to his office at once. When they asked why, he said, “Yang Jian was spot on. That wind just now portended danger. Tuxing Sun is coming to carry out an assassination tonight.”
He now gave out the following order: “Hang three mirrors in front of the compound, and then in the main hall, hang another five mirrors. Also, all the officers must remain in the compound tonight and remain armed to keep watch.”
Soon, Ji Fa arrived and Jiang Ziya welcomed him. Ji Fa asked the reason for the invitation, and Jiang Ziya said, “I have been lecturing the officers on military strategies and wanted to invite your highness to a feast.”
“Minister Father, you are so diligent, and I am eternally grateful,” a delighted Ji Fa said. “I pray that the conflicts will soon end and we can enjoy peace and prosperity together.”
Jiang Ziya now ordered the attendants to set up a feast, and as they drank, he only discussed the affairs of state and made no mention that Tuxing Sun was coming for somebody’s head tonight.
When 7 p.m. rolled around, in the Shang camp, Tuxing Sun finished drinking with Deng Jiugong and set out on his mission. As Deng Jiugong and his officers rose to see him off, Tuxing Sun simply gave his body a little twist and vanished. Deng Jiugong clapped and laughed, saying, “Our king must be blessed. With such a skilled man serving the country, we will put down this rebellion for sure!”
Soon, Tuxing Sun appeared inside Western Qi and started sneaking around in search of the prime minister’s residence. When he found Jiang Ziya’s compound, he saw that there were armed officers everywhere. Seeing no opportunity to make his move, Tuxing Sun could only wait. But after waiting for a good while, he still saw no opening.
Getting impatient, Tuxing Sun thought to himself, “Fine. Let me go to the palace and kill the Martial King first, and then come back and kill Jiang Ziya.”
So he left the prime minister’s residence and went in search of the royal palace. He had not fast-traveled for long when he heard the sound of harmonious music. He paused and looked, and found himself inside the palace grounds. And lo and behold, there was the Martial King Ji Fa, feasting with his concubines. Delighted, Tuxing Sun sneaked into the shadows and waited.
Soon, Ji Fa said, “Let’s pause the music for now. Right now the enemy is at our gates, the army and the civilians are all in chaos. Let’s pack up this feast and go back to the palace and turn in for the night.”
So the attendants escorted Ji Fa back to his private chamber. He dismissed them, disrobed with his concubine, and went to bed. Soon, he was snoring.
Now, Tuxing Sun sneaked into the room. The whole chamber was still brightly lit by the lanterns, but Ji Fa and his concubine were sound asleep. Tuxing Sun slowly stepped up to the bed with knife in hand. He quietly pulled back the curtain and latched it on the hook. There, he found Ji Fa snoring with his eyes tight shut. With one swing of his knife, Tuxing Sun sliced off Ji Fa’s head and chucked it to the ground. Mission accomplished.
But now, Tuxing Sun turned his sights to Ji Fa’s concubine, who was still sound asleep. But instead of murderous intent, he was gazing at her with, well, something just as vile. Her face was like peach blossoms, and he could smell a fragrance coming from her.
“Who are you?! How dare you sleep here so soundly?!” he suddenly barked.
The concubine startled awake and asked with shock, “Who are you?! What are you doing here at night?!”
“I am none other than Tuxing Sun, the vanguard general of the Shang army. I have already killed the Martial King. Do you want to live, or die?”
“I’m but a woman. There is nothing to be gained from harming me,” the concubine pleaded. “Please take pity and spare my life. If you don’t think me too ugly, you may take me as a concubine and I will serve you and would never dare to forget your kindness.”
Alas, Tuxing Sun had no problem accepting an offer of sexual favors from the woman he’s holding at knife point. He said excitedly, “Since you’re willing to make merry with me like fish and water, then I will spare you.”
The concubine’s face broke into a huge smile and she immediately entreated him to help himself. He quickly disrobed and jumped into bed. But just as he was about to pull the concubine into his arms, she suddenly grabbed those arms and twisted them behind his back.
“Hey honey, not so rough!” Tuxing Sun shouted as he grimaced in pain.
“You scoundrel! Who do you think I am?” came the reply.
Tuxing Sun turned and was astonished to find not the concubine, but Yang Jian, holding him by the arms. This whole thing had been a setup. The real Ji Fa was safely under guard in a secret room in Jiang Ziya’s house, while Yang Jian literally lay in wait.
Yang Jian now shouted, “Men, seize him!” And a swarm of soldiers poured out. Tuxing Sun was stark naked and had his arms pinned by Yang Jian, so he couldn’t even struggle and was easily captured.
Yang Jian now headed to Jiang Ziya’s residence, carrying Tuxing Sun under one arm and keeping his feet from touching the ground so that he couldn’t use his fast-traveling prowess to escape. Jiang Ziya was delighted when his men announced that Yang Jian had captured Tuxing Sun, and he summoned Yang Jian in. When Yang Jian came in, Jiang Ziya saw him with a stark naked man tucked under his arm.
“Congratulations on your great service in capturing the enemy,” Jiang Ziya said. “But why are you holding him like this?”
“This man is skilled at fast-traveling via the earth element,” Yang Jian said, keeping a tight hold on his prisoner. “If I loosen my grip, he could get away.”
“Take him outside and execute him,” Jiang Ziya commanded.
Yang Jian accepted the order and walked outside. As he prepared to execute Tuxing Sun, he had to switch his prisoner from under one arm to the other so he could use his strong arm to wield his knife. But that little transfer was all the wiggle room Tuxing Sun needed. He struggled loose a tiny bit, just enough for his toes to touch the ground, and in the blink of an eye, he was gone.
Yang Jian was stunned and went back inside to tell Jiang Ziya, “I was switching hands to execute him, and he struggled free and escaped by fast travel.”
Jiang Ziya fell into silence at that bad news, and all the hubbub of the night had been for naught.
Over in the Shang camp, Tuxing Sun quietly sneaked back into his tent and put some clothes back on. He then went to the command tent, where Deng Jiugong asked him how his mission went.
“Jiang Ziya was on high alert, and I couldn’t find an opening to make my move,” Tuxing Sun said. “I waited till dawn, but had no choice but to come back empty-handed.”
Deng Jiugong had no idea about the specifics of the night, so he just let the matter drop.
Meanwhile, inside Western Qi, Yang Jian now went to see Jiang Ziya and said, “Let me go to Dragon Squeezing Mountain and find out that Tuxing Sun’s origins and the whereabouts of the Immortal Bounding Cord.”
“But Tuxing Sun might strike again while you’re away,” Jiang Ziya said. “Don’t delay; this is urgent.”
Yang Jian now set off for Dragon Squeezing Mountain. But on the way, he landed on a different mountain by mistake. This was another one of those otherworldly settings that you would expect an immortal to call home. He heard the calls of apes and cranes among the ancient pine and cypress forests, while streams of clear water flowed quietly and a sweet fragrance filled the air.
Following a path through a thick forest of old pine trees, Yang Jian came upon a bridge. After crossing the bridge, he saw a beautiful mansion with green tile roof and carved eaves. A placard on the vermilion gate read, “The Green Phoenix Palace.”
Yang Jian was admiring the scenery when the red doors opened, accompanied by the call of cranes. Several pairs of acolytes, each carrying large fans or banners, came out. In the center came a female Daoist, dressed in a red robe with white crane print. She was flanked by eight young girl acolytes.
Yang Jian hid in the woods and waited for this procession to pass. But the female Daoist suddenly said to her acolytes, “Is there someone hiding in the woods? Go take a look.”
As one of the girls approached, Yang Jian had no choice but to go forward to greet her. “Daoist sibling, I mistakenly stumbled upon this mountain. I am Yang Jian, a disciple of Master Jade Tripod from Jade Spring Mountain. I was on my way to Dragon Squeezing Mountain on a mission for Jiang Ziya, but landed here by mistake. Please relay this to your mistress for me, as I dare not speak to her in person.”
The girl walked out of the woods and told the female Daoist what Yang Jian had said. The lady said, “Since he’s a disciple of Jade Tripod, please ask him to come see me.”
So Yang Jian had no choice but to approach and greet her. The lady asked him where he was going, and he said, “Tuxing Sun and Deng Jiugong are attacking Western Qi. That Tuxing Sun is skilled at fast travel via the earth element, and he nearly assassinated the Martial King and Jiang Ziya yesterday. I’m on my way to find out his origins so as to devise a way to capture him. But I accidentally landed here and could not avoid bumping into you.”
The lady replied, “Tuxing Sun is Juliu (4,2) Sun’s disciple. If you can get his master to help you, then you will succeed. When you return to Western Qi, relay my respects to Jiang Ziya. You may go at once.”
Yang Jian bowed and asked the lady for her name. She told him, “I am none other than the daughter of the Jade Emperor of Heaven, borne by the Golden Mother of the Jade Pond. One year, I was supposed to serve wine at the annual Longevity Peach Banquet, but I failed to follow proper etiquette, so I was exiled to this Green Phoenix Palace on Phoenix Mountain. I am Princess Long (2) Ji (2).”
And just FYI, this Longevity Peach Banquet that the princess mentioned is the social event of the year in heaven among immortal circles. It’s also apparently a setting for numerous breaches of etiquette by various minor gods and immortals that result in seemingly overly harsh punishments, as we will see when we get to Journey to the West.
Anyway, Yang Jian now bowed again to take his leave and set off. But before long, he dropped down again, and this time, he found himself next to a swamp. A wild wind suddenly whipped up as the sky turned dark. In the swamp, the waters rose high into the air, and where they parted, a monster with a mouth like a giant bloody platter and dagger-like teeth leaped onto shore with trident in hand, shouting, “I smell a living man for me to eat!” as he charged toward Yang Jian.
Yang Jian just chuckled and scoffed, “What a damned beast! How dare you?!”
He now raised his spear to fight the monster. After just a few exchanges, Yang Jian lifted one hand and summoned a clasp of thunder. That scared the creature into turning around and fleeing, but Yang Jian gave chase. The pursuit took him to the foot of a mountain, where the creature quickly ducked inside a cave.
“If you had run into someone else, they might not follow you in, but you ran into me,” Yang Jian laughed. “No matter how big a hiding place you’ve got, I’m coming in after you!”
He now chanted an incantation and entered the cave. It was pitch black inside, but Yang Jian now opened his third eye, which emitted a bright glow and lit up the darkness. This was a huge cave with no other way in or out. Yang Jian looked around but saw no creature. Instead, he saw something gleaming in the light. It was a three-pointed saber, sitting under a bundle.
Yang Jian picked up the saber and the bundle and walked out of the cave. There, he opened the bundle and found a yellow robe inside. He put the robe on, and it was a perfect fit. He now packed up the saber and the robe and was just about to head on when suddenly, he heard someone shouting from behind, “Catch that thief; he’s stealing our robe!”
He turned and saw two young acolytes running onto the scene. Yang Jian stood his ground and asked, “Hey you! Who are you calling a thieve?!”
“You!” the boys replied.
“How dare you accuse me of stealing, you beast!” Yang Jian shouted. “I have been cultivating my Dao for many years. I’m no thief!”
“Who are you?” the acolytes demanded.
“I am Yang Jian, a disciple of Master Jade Tripod from Jade Spring Mountain.”
When they heard that, both boys fell to their knees and kowtowed, saying, “Master, we didn’t realize it was you. Please forgive us for not welcoming you.”
“Who are you two?” Yang Jian asked.
“We are the Golden Fleece Lads of Wuyi (3,2) Mountain.”
“Well, since you have called me master, then you two go on to Western Qi first,” Yang Jian said. “Tell Prime Minister Jiang that I’m on my way to Dragon Squeezing Mountain.”
“But what if he won’t accept us?” the boys asked.
“Take my spear and this saber and robe with you, and all will be fine,” Yang Jian told them.
So his new disciples took their leave and fast-traveled toward Western Qi via the water element. When they arrived, they found their way to Jiang Ziya’s residence and introduced themselves. Jiang Ziya was delighted that Yang Jian had found some new disciples, and kept the boys in his residence.
Meanwhile, Yang Jian once again set out for Dragon Squeezing Mountain. To see if he’ll actually get there this time, tune in to the next episode of the Chinese Lore Podcast. Thanks for listening!
Music in This Episode
- “Sao Meo” by Doug Maxwell / Zac Zinger