Journey 032: Not His Best Side
Sun Wukong comes to the rescue … by victim-shaming and murdering children.
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Transcript
Welcome to the Chinese Lore Podcast, where I retell classic Chinese stories in English. This is episode 32 of Journey to the West.
Last time, the Yellow Robe Demon turned himself into a handsome young man, went to the Kingdom of Precious Elephants to pull one over on his idiot of a father-in-law, the king, and turned San Zang into a tiger. San Zang was locked up by the king’s men, while Yellow Robe wined and dined in the palace. After an unsuccessful assassination attempt on Yellow Robe, San Zang’s horse, Little White Dragon, convinced Zhu Bajie to go convince Sun Wukong to come back and help. Bajie tried to lie at first, telling Wukong that San Zang missed him and wanted him back. But Wukong knew better, and soon, he was threatening to beat the truth out of Zhu Bajie.
At this point, Bajie pleaded and said, “Brother, I WAS trying to deceive you and get you to come with me. But you are too clever. Spare me the beating, and let me get up, and I’ll tell you the truth.”
So Wukong told his monkey minions to release Bajie. Dum-dum got up and started flailing left and right.
“What the hell are you doing?” Wukong asked.
“Looking for a way out in case I need to run away.”
“Run? Even if I gave you a three-day headstart, I would catch up to you. Tell me the truth now! Don’t piss me off, or I will not spare you!”
Zhu Bajie now recounted their misadventures and added, “Little White Dragon told me to come get you. He said, ‘Our big brother is an honorable and righteous gentleman, and gentlemen don’t dwell on past wrongs. He will definitely come save our master.’ Brother, as they say, ‘Master for a day, father for a lifetime.’ On account of that, you must save our master.”
“You idiot!” Wukong fumed. “When I left, I told you time and again, ‘If some demon gets a hold of master, just tell them that I’m his senior disciple. Why didn’t you mention me?”
Bajie thought to himself, “Baiting him might work better than begging him. Let me provoke him a bit.”
So he told Wukong, “Oh brother, it would be better if I had NOT mentioned you. But when I did, that fiend was even more unruly!”
“How so?”
“I told him, ‘Hey demon, don’t be rude and don’t harm my master. I have a senior brother named Sun Wukong. He’s powerful and skilled at taming demons. If he came, he would kill you dead and leave your corpse exposed.’ But when that demon heard that, he got even angrier and cursed, saying, ‘What Sun Wukong? I’m not afraid of him. If he came, I would skin him, pull out his tendons, break his bones, and eat his heart. Even though he’s a skinny monkey, I would dice him up and pan fry him!”
When Wukong heard that, he grew so irate that he was literally hopping mad. “How dare he curse me like that?!” he shouted.
“Brother, calm down,” Bajie fake-pleaded. “That’s what that Yellow Robe Demon said about you; I’m just repeating it for you to hear.”
“Brother, get up! Since that demon dared to curse me so, I have to go bring him down. I’ll go with you. Five hundred years ago, when I caused a ruckus in heaven, all the celestial generals bowed to me and called me Great Sage. How dare this rude demon curse me like this?! I’ll go catch him and cut him to pieces to teach him a lesson! Then, I’ll come back.”
“Right, brother! Just go catch that demon and get revenge. Then, whether you stay or come back, we’ll obey your wishes.”
Sun Wukong leaped off the cliff that he was perched on, stormed into his cave, changed into his tiger-skin kilt, and came back out with golden rod in hand. His monkey minions hurriedly blocked his path and said, “Great Sage, where are you going? You should stay with us for at least a few years.”
“Little ones, what kind of words are those?! Everyone knows I’ve been protecting the Tang monk. Everyone knows I’m his disciple. He didn’t drive me away! He just told me to come home and have a look and take a little break. But now, I have to go take care of this matter! You all take good care of our home and keep everything in good order while I go back to escorting the Tang monk on his pilgrimage. Once I’ve completed my mission, I’ll come back and enjoy life with you all.”
The monkeys obeyed his command, and Sun Wukong and Zhu Bajie took to the air hand in hand and flew across the East Sea. When they reached the western shore of the sea, Wukong paused and said, “Brother, wait a bit; let me go wash up in the sea first.”
“We’re in a rush; why are you stopping to wash?”
“You don’t understand. Since I came back, I accumulated some demonic airs. Master likes cleanliness, so I don’t want him to spurn me.”
Recognizing his brother’s sincerity, Bajie waited. Once Wukong finished washing, they continued their journey. Soon, they saw the golden pagoda that marked Yellow Robe’s home.
“That’s his lair, and Sha Zeng is still there,” Bajie said as he pointed.
“You stay up in the sky while I go have a look and fight the demon.”
“No need to go. That demon isn’t home.”
“Oh I know.”
Wukong now swooped down to the entrance of the cave. There, he saw two little kids playing. One was a teenager, while the other was about 8 or 9. Wukong stepped forward and grabbed them both by the head. The children’s cries alerted the demon lackeys, who hurriedly told their mistress, aka Yellow Robe’s wife, aka the former princess of the Kingdom of Precious Elephants. Turns out, those two kids were her children with Yellow Robe, so she rushed outside. There, she saw a monkey holding her two kids while perched on a high cliff, looking like he was about to throw them down.
“You there!” the panicked princess shouted. “I haven’t done you any wrong. Why did you kidnap my children? Their father is powerful. If anything happens to them, he won’t let you go!”
“You don’t recognize me?” Wukong shot back. “I am Sun Wukong, the Tang monk’s senior disciple. My brother Sha Zeng is in your cave. Go release him, and I’ll return these two kids. It’s a two-for-one swap; you come out ahead.”
The princess promptly rushed inside, dismissed the lackeys guarding the gate, and personally untied Sha Zeng.
“Princess, don’t untie me,” Sha Zeng said. “If your demon husband comes home and finds out, you’ll suffer.”
“Elder, you’re my benefactor and you helped me cover up the fact that I sent a letter home. You saved my life, and I want to let you go. But right now, your brother Sun Wukong is outside, demanding that I release you.”
As soon as Sha Zeng heard the name Sun Wukong, he felt as if he were being quenched by sweet dew. His face lit up and he rushed outside to greet Wukong.
“Brother, you’re like a gift from heaven! Thank you for saving me!”
Wukong chuckled, “Oh listen to you, Sandy. When our master was reciting the band-tightening spell, did you say a word on my behalf? But listen to your mouth now. And why aren’t you heading west with master, and instead are stooping here?”
“Oh brother, enough. A gentleman doesn’t poke at someone’s shortcomings. I’m a defeated general and have nothing to say. Just save me.”
Wukong told Sha Zeng to join him on the cliff, so Sha Zeng leaped up. Meanwhile, Zhu Bajie flew down from the sky and explained that he had gone to convince Sun Wukong to lend a hand.
“Dum-dum, not the time for catching up,” Wukong said. “Each of you, grab one of these kids and take them to the city to provoke that demon. I’ll wait here to kick his ass.”
“Brother, how should we provoke him?” Sha Zeng asked.
“Fly to above the palace, and throw these kids down on the steps. If anyone asks who they are, just say that they’re the Yellow Robe Demon’s children. That’ll make him come back. Then I don’t have to fight him in the city. If I fought him above the city, it would stir up clouds and dust and startle the court officials.”
Bajie chuckled, “Brother, whenever you scheme, you’re always doing us wrong.”
“How so?”
“You’ve already scared these two kids half to death, and they’re crying. And they’ll be dead for sure in a little bit. If we throw them down from the air, they’ll turn into meat patties. How could that demon let it go? He’ll want the two of us to pay with our lives, while you get off scot free. There’s no evidence incriminating you. Aren’t you doing us wrong?”
“If he gives you trouble, then fight him and lure him here. This is an open space, and I’ll be waiting to beat him.”
“Quite right,” Sha Zeng agreed. And so, he and Zhu Bajie flew off with the two kids in tow, with no one so much as raising a single objection over the idea of murdering kids as part of their demon-busting. I guess demons don’t count as people, not even little half-demons.
Wukong now leaped down from the cliff and went to the cave entrance. The princess met him and said, “You didn’t keep your word! You said if I released your brother, you would return my children. Your brother is free, so why did you keep my kids and why are you coming to my door?”
Wukong smiled, “Princess, please don’t be mad. You’ve been here a long time; I just sent your sons to see their grandpa.”
“Don’t be rude,” the princess warned. “My husband is not an ordinary man. If you’ve frightened my child, you best soothe them.”
“Princess, do you know what is the worst crime that one can commit?”
“I know.”
“You’re a woman; what do you know?” said our suddenly misogynistic simian hero.
“I grew up in the palace and received my parents’ instructions. I remember the ancient texts: Of the 3,000 crimes, the greatest is being unfilial.”
“Well, YOU are unfilial,” Wukong told her. “As the saying goes, ‘My father begot me, my mother raised me. Alas for my parents. What an effort it was to bring me up.’ Filial piety is the basis of all conduct and the root of all goodness, so why did you give yourself over to that demon and forget your parents? Is that not unfilial?”
Uhh, so somehow Sun Wukong, who’s never particularly cared for propriety or any other human virtues, is victim-blaming a woman who got abducted and held hostage by a demon. Alas, the novel says the princess was flushed and ashamed when she heard this, and replied, “Elder, your words are wise. How can I not miss my parents. But that demon has kept me here and keeps a tight watch on me. I can’t walk far, and this place is so remote that there’s no one to deliver messages for me. I wanted to kill myself, but then I worried my parents would think I had run away from the palace and that the matter would never be cleared up. So I had no choice but to cling to life and thus have committed the worst offense!”
As she spoke, her tears flowed like springs. Wukong consoled her and said, “Princess, don’t be sad. Zhu Bajie told me that you had written a letter and that you had saved my master once. And that your letter expressed longing for your parents. Now that I’m here, I’ll capture that demon for you and bring you back to the court to see your parents. You can find another husband and attend to your parents in their old age. What do you think?”
“Oh monk, don’t get yourself killed. Your two brothers, heroic as they are, couldn’t beat my husband. You are so skinny that your bones are all on the outside, like a crab. What skills do you have that you would dare to speak of capturing demons?”
Wukong chuckled, “You don’t recognize skills when you see it. As the saying goes, ‘A bladder may be large, but it has no real weight; a scale weight may be small, but it can press down a thousand pounds.’ My brothers look big but they are useless. When they walk, they run up against the wind. To clothe them takes too much fabric. Their inner fires are weak, their waists are soft, and they just eat without doing anything to earn it. But me, I may be small, but I’m worth every pound.”
“You really have skills?” the princess asked.
“I have skills that you’ve never even seen. I can bring demons and monsters to heel.”
“Don’t let me down,” she cautioned.
“I would never.”
“Then how are you going to capture him?”
“You go hide for now; don’t be seen with me, or you would get in my way. When he shows up, I worry you won’t be able to let him go.”
“How would I not? I was here against my will!”
“You’ve been husband and wife for 13 years, how can you not have feelings for him? But when I see him, I’m not playing around. Whether with my rod or my fist, I’m going to beat him down and then take you back to the court.”
So the princess did as Wukong instructed and hid in a quiet place. Then, Wukong used his shapeshifting powers, assumed her likeness, and waited in the cave.
Meanwhile, Zhu Bajie and Sha Zeng flew back to the Kingdom of Precious Elephants with the two demon children in tow and, just as Wukong instructed, hurled them from the air. The poor kids landed on the jade steps of the palace and splattered into two bloody puddles of flesh.
So yeah, murdering young kids? Not very Buddhist-like. And to be honest, I had forgotten about this and was kind of shocked when I got to this part while rereading the novel. I have to say, this whole section we’ve been on doesn’t exactly paint Sun Wukong in the best light, what with the victim-shaming, the child murder, and just generally talking smack about his fellow disciples. Needless to say, this part was not in the TV show.
Anyway, while the court officials fell into a panic, Zhu Bajie shouted, “Those were the Yellow Robe Demon’s children. My brother and I brought them here!”
Yellow Robe was still sleeping off his bender from the night before when he heard his name called. He leaped up, looked and saw it was Zhu Bajie and Sha Zeng shouting from the air. He thought to himself, “If it were just Zhu Bajie, that’s no biggie. But Sha Zeng was tied up in my lair. How did he get out? How could my wife be willing to release him? And how did my kids fall into their hands? Could this be a trick by Zhu Bajie to provoke me to go fight him? I could fight him, but crap, I’m still buzzing. If I take a blow from his rake, it would make me look bad. Let me go home and check first to see whether those really were my kids, and then deal with him!”
So Yellow Robe took off, without saying bye to the king first. And by this time, the 17 palace maids that he did NOT eat the night before had already informed the king about how his new son-in-law had devoured the unlucky 18th maid. And when Yellow Robe took off without a word, the king grew even more suspicious, but all he could do was assign more men to watch over the tiger in captivity, aka San Zang.
When Yellow Robe arrived back at his cave, he was greeted by his weeping wife, who was howling up a storm. He rushed forward, took her in hand, and asked what’s wrong. Choking on tears, she said, “Husband, as the saying goes, ‘A man without a wife has no one to look after his property, and a woman without a husband is bound to fall.’ Why didn’t you come back earlier from the court? This morning, Zhu Bajie rescued Sha Zeng and abducted my two children. I begged and pleaded, but he refused to spare them. He said he was taking them to the court to meet their grandfather. But I haven’t seen them since then; who knows if they’re dead or alive? And you weren’t home. So what could I do but cry?”
Yellow Robe fumed, “So those really WERE my kids?!”
“Yes, and Zhu Bajie kidnapped them!”
Yellow Robe was hopping mad. “Dammit! He killed my kids! I can’t let him live! I’ll go make him pay with his life! Wife, don’t cry! How do you feel? Do you need some treatment?”
“I’m ok, but I cried so hard over my kids that my chest hurts.”
“No worries. Please get up. I have a treasure. Just rub it against where it hurts, and the pain will stop. But be careful and don’t flick it with your thumb, or you would see my true form.”
Well, that’s some convenient and oddly crammed-in exposition. Anyway, Yellow Robe led his wife to a secluded spot in the cave. There, he spat out a pearl from his mouth that was the size of an egg. His wife took it, rubbed it against her body willy-nilly, and then started flicking it with her thumb. Yellow Robe was taken aback and tried to grab his treasure, but his wife popped the pearl into her mouth and swallowed it. Just as Yellow Robe raised his fist, she grabbed his arm with one hand, and with the other hand, rubbed her face and shouted, “Demon, don’t act up! Do you recognize ME?”
Yellow Robe looked and was stunned to see his wife now sporting a simian face.
“Wife, how did you turn into this?!” he sputtered.
“Damn demon! Who the hell is your wife?” the monkey cursed. “Don’t you recognize your granddaddy?”
And actually, his face did kind of ring a bell.
“I … do seem to recognize you a bit,” Yellow Robe said.
“I wont’ hit you yet,” Wukong told him. “Take another look.”
“You seem familiar, but I can’t remember your name. Who are you? Where did you come from? Where did you stash my wife? How dare you steal my treasure? You’re despicable!”
“Yeah, you don’t recognize me. Well, I am Sun Wukong, the Tang monk’s senior disciple. And I am your granddaddy!”
“Nonsense!” Yellow Robe barked. “When I caught the Tang monk, he only had two disciples — Zhu Bajie and Sha Zeng. I never heard anyone mention you. What demon are you, and why are you playing tricks on me?”
“Oh I wasn’t with those two,” Wukong explained. “My master thought I killed too many demons. He’s the compassionate sort, so he chased me away. That’s why I wasn’t traveling with him. You really don’t recognize your granddaddy.”
“What kind of man are you?” Yellow Robe taunted him. “Since your master had dismissed you, how can you bear to show your face here?”
“Damn demon. Don’t you know the saying, ‘Master for a day, father for a lifetime?’ Or ‘No grudge lasts overnight between father and son’? You harmed my master, so how can I not come rescue him? And what’s more, you cursed me behind my back. How do you explain that?”
“When the hell did I curse you?”
“Zhu Bajie told me.”
“Don’t you believe him. That Zhu Bajie just knows how to run his mouth and stir things up. How can you listen to him?”
“Forget this idle chitchat for now. I came to visit you today, and you’re slighting your guest. Well, you may not have wine for me, but you do have a head. So stick your head over here and let me give you a whack with my rod!”
When Yellow Robe heard that, he roared with laughter. “Sun Wukong, you’ve got the wrong idea. If you want to fight, you shouldn’t have come into my lair. I have over a hundred demons here. Even if you have hands everywhere, you won’t make it out the door.”
“Ha! What nonsense!” Wukong scoffed. “Even if you had several thousand or tens of thousands, I will beat each one of them in turn, and every swing of my rod will find its mark and make sure your line runs into a deadend!”
At that, Yellow Robe called for his lackeys to pick up arms and surround Wukong. But this was exactly what Wukong was itching for. He gripped his rod and shouted, “Change!” He immediately sprouted three heads and six arms, and those six arms were wielding three golden rods. In this way, he crashed into the throng of demons like a tiger charging into a flock of sheep, or an eagle swooping down into a coop of chickens. The poor demon lackeys just started falling left and right with busted heads as blood flowed like water.
Soon, the only one left was Yellow Robe. He charged out and cursed, “Damn monkey! How dare you come bully me at my own house?!”
Wukong just waved him on and said, “C’mon, c’mon. It doesn’t count until I knock YOU down.”
So Yellow Robe raised his big saber and hacked at Wukong, who met him with rod in hand. The two engaged in a fierce battle atop the mountain. After 60 exchanges, neither had the upper hand. But Wukong was secretly delighted, thinking, “This damn demon can actually hold his own. Let me give him an opening.”
So he raised his rod high above his head, leaving his lower body exposed. Yellow Robe didn’t realize it was a trick, so he swung his saber toward Wukong’s lower half. But Wukong quickly reacted and parried his blade, while in the same motion swinging his rod right at Yellow Robe’s head. In the very second that the rod made contact, Yellow Robe disappeared.
Wukong was surprised. “Hmm, if I had killed him, then there would at least be some blood,” he thought to himself. “But how did he vanish without a trace? He must have fled.”
So he leaped into the air and looked all around, but didn’t see any sign of his quarry.
“My eyes can see anything anywhere. How did this demon get so slippery?” he thought.
But then, a lightbulb went on in his head. “I know! That demon said he kind of recognized me. He must not be a demon from the mortal realm. He must have come from heaven.”
So Sun Wukong now flew up to the southern gate of heaven. The gaggle of celestial generals guarding the gate all fell into a panic and bowed to him, not daring to block him as he stormed through the gate and went all the way to the palace. There, the Four Celestial Masters met him and asked what he was doing there.
“I was protecting the Tang monk, who was passing through the Kingdom of Precious Elephants,” Wukong explained. “There was a demon there who abducted the princess and harmed my master. I was fighting him when he suddenly disappeared. I figure he must not be a mortal demon, but a celestial one. So I’ve come to investigate and see if any rogue gods slipped away.”
The Celestial Masters relayed this to the Jade Emperor and started to do a head count. Every department of heaven was fully accounted for, except for one person. The 28 Constellations were one short. The Star of Kui (2) was missing.
Now this Star of Kui is generally identified as a deity of scholarship and literature. He’s also known as the Wood Wolf of Kui. When the Celestial Masters reported back to the Jade Emperor that this guy was missing, the Jade Emperor demanded to know how long he had been gone. The Celestial Masters figured out that he had been away from heaven for 13 days, and as we had previously established, a day in heaven was a year on earth. So that matched the 13 years since Yellow Robe had abducted the princess. The Jade Emperor now ordered the other 27 Constellation deities to go collect their own.
Those 27 deities left heaven and started reciting incantations to suss out the whereabouts of their comrade. Turns out, he was hiding in a mountain stream, using the water to shield his demonic air and staying below Sun Wukong’s radar. But when he heard his fellow Constellations’ incantations, he poked his head up and followed them back up toward heaven.
At the heavenly gate, Sun Wukong blocked his path and wanted to smack him around some more. But the other Constellations talked him down and brought their rogue brother to see the Jade Emperor. Upon seeing the Jade Emperor, Yellow Robe pulled out the golden placard that indicated his heavenly position, kowtowed, and confessed his offense.
“Wood Wolf,” the Jade Emperor said, “instead of enjoying the boundless pleasures of heaven, why did you sneak down to the mortal realm?”
Wolfie kowtowed and said, “Your highness, please forgive my capital offense. That princess of the Kingdom of Precious Elephants is no mere mortal. She used to be a Celestial Jade Maiden who served incense in the Hall of Fragrant Breezes. She and I were having a secret affair. I was worried about tainting the purity of the celestial realm. So she went on ahead down to the mortal realm and had herself reincarnated as a princess. Then I kept up my end of the agreement and turned myself into a demon. I occupied a mountain and brought her to my lair, where we were husband and wife for 13 years. It was all predestined. And now, the Great Sage has successfully completed this trial.”
Upon hearing that explanation, the Jade Emperor confiscated his placard and demoted him to go tend to Laozi’s oven. If he performed well, then he could have his old job back. But if he performed poorly, he would be punished doubly for his offense.
This sounded like a slap on the wrist, but it was apparently enough to placate Sun Wukong. He bowed and said to all the gods, “So long, all!” and left.
That drew a chuckle from the Celestial Masters, who said to the Jade Emperor, “This monkey hasn’t changed a bit. We helped him tame the demon, and instead of thanking your highness, he just said bye.”
“Oh, as long as he behaves and leaves heaven in peace, that’s good enough for me,” the Jade Emperor said.
Sun Wukong now flew back down to the mortal realm. To see how he will tie up all the loose ends, tune in to the next episode of the Chinese Lore Podcast. Thanks for listening!
Music in This Episode
- “Luỹ Tre Xanh Ngát Đầu Làng (Guzheng) – Vietnam BGM” by VPRODMUSIC_Asia_BGM
- “Ravines” by Elphnt (from YouTube audio library)