Gods 076: Slain Tigers
It’s a whirlwind of fortunes for the Zhou forces as they continue their march.
Transcript
Welcome to the Chinese Lore Podcast, where I retell classic Chinese stories in English. This is episode 76 of Investiture of the Gods.
Last time, Jiang Ziya and company were being kept at bay outside Lintong Pass by a magical white bone banner, while the Shang forces inside the pass got reinforcements from the court, led by the generals Deng (4) Kun (1) and Rui (4) Ji (2). But Deng Kun just so happened to be the brother-in-law of Flying Tiger, who was presently a prisoner inside the pass. Plus, Deng Kun and Rui Ji both took one look at the impressive Zhou forces and decided that they would like to switch teams. So, they got word to Jiang Ziya that they would find an opportunity to deliver the pass into his hands.
They soon got to work on that, demanding that the magical banner be removed because it was unseemly that they, high officials from the court, were having to sidestep the flag while its owner Bian (4) Ji (2), a lowly lieutenant, could ride right under it. Bian Ji told them that he had a solution. He quickly wrote up three charms and gave them to Deng Kun, Rui Ji and the pass commander Ouyang (1,2) Chun (2). He told them to put the charms in their helmets. They then went back out and, sure enough, those three could now ride right under the banner without feeling its soul-scattering effects.
Deng Kun and Rui Ji secretly rejoiced. They now marched to the the Zhou camp and demanded to speak with Jiang Ziya. When Jiang Ziya went out, Deng Kun shouted, “I’m going to fight it out with you today!” and he charged toward the Zhou lines alongside his friend and fellow commander Rui Ji.
From behind Jiang Ziya, Flying Tiger’s two blood brothers darted out and took them on. After the four of them fought for a while, Bian Ji decided to join the fray, and he was met by Jiang Ziya’s disciple, the general Wu (3) Ji (2). Bian Ji Turned and rode toward his banner again, but Wu Ji did not give chase. Jiang Ziya then called for his army to return to camp, and both sides went home for the day.
Once back at camp, Jiang Ziya sat wondering how Bian Ji’s bosses could now also ride under the banner without falling victim to its powers. Tuxing Sun the earth traveler offered to go ask, and Jiang Ziya agreed.
So that night, Tuxing Sun again appeared in Deng Kun and Rui Ji’s private room inside the pass. They were delighted to see him and told him, “That flag is called the Soul-Scattering White Bone Banner, and it’s quite powerful. Yesterday, we forced Bian Ji’s hand, and he gave us each a charm to put on top of our heads so that we can ride under the banner without problem. You can present this charm to Commander Jiang so that he can attack. We will have a plan to deliver the pass to him.”
Tuxing Sun thanked them and returned to camp. Jiang Ziya was ecstatic upon hearing his report. He examined the charm and deciphered its powers. He then wrote his own copies of the charm and assembled his officers.
“You should each keep a charm in your helmet or in your hair,” he told them. “Tomorrow during battle, when the enemy falls back, you will pursue. First, take down the White Bone Banner, and then lay siege to the pass.”
So the next day, Jiang Ziya led his army out and demanded battle, at a safe distance from the banner. Inside the pass, Deng Kun and Rui Ji ordered Bian Ji to go fight. So Bian Ji rode out past his banner and shouted, “I will capture you all for sure today!”
He galloped toward Jiang Ziya with halberd raised. But from behind Jiang Ziya, a whole gaggle of officers charged out, surrounding Bian Ji while drums and gongs blared and the shouts of battle echoed across the field while a dust cloud rose up into the air.
Encircled by enemies, Bian Ji tried to break out. He managed to wound a Zhou officer in the shoulder, opening a gap through which he darted out and fled toward his banner. But unlike previous battles, the Zhou officers all followed. Now, Bian Ji didn’t know his magic had been broken, so he was like, ok, come one come all. He reined in his horse on the other side of the banner and told his bodyguards to prepare for a big haul today.
But then, the Zhou officers charged right past the banner … and just kept on coming. Umm … Oh crap.
Bian Ji was shocked and lamented, “Why did my treasure stop working? This must be heaven dooming the Shang!”
He did not dare to fight again, and instead fled inside the pass. Jiang Ziya let him go. His officers took down the banner. Wei Hu retrieved his Demon-Taming Club and Thunderbolt’s golden staff, and they returned to camp in victory.
Inside the pass, Bian Ji reported back to Deng Kun and Rui Ji. Now, they were of course not going to let this opportunity slip by.
“You must have captured a few enemy officers today,” Rui Ji said facetiously.
Bian Ji replied, “A dozen or so of their top warriors surrounded me today. I stabbed one of them and managed to break out and led them under my banner so that I could capture some of them. But for some reason, they all swarmed past the banner without any ill effects. This must be heaven’s doing, not my lack of trying.”
But Rui Ji scoffed, “That banner was working just fine a few days ago when you captured four enemy generals. How can it not work today?”
Deng Kun chimed in, “There’s no other explanation. Bian Ji must be in cahoots with the enemy because he saw that the tide is against us. He must have tried to lead them into the pass. Thankfully, our soldiers managed to shut the gates in time. Otherwise, we would have all been their prisoners. We can’t leave such a traitor in our midst. Men, execute him and put his head on display!”
Before Bian Ji could protest his innocence, the guards dragged him outside. Moments later, his head was hanging on display.
When the pass commander Ouyang Chun found out, he didn’t know why Bian Ji had been executed, and he was just left with mouth agape. Deng Kun and Rui Ji told him, “Bian Ji didn’t understand heaven’s will and deserved to die. We’ll be honest with you, general. The Shang’s time is at an end. The king is tyrannical and unjust, and he has lost the hearts of the people and the favor of heaven. All the nobles of the land have submitted to the Zhou. Only this pass stands in their way. And there are no top warriors here. You cannot hold out for long. Why don’t we all surrender the pass to the Martial King and join his campaign against the tyrant? As the saying goes, ‘Those who obey heaven thrive, while those who oppose it perish.’ Besides, the Zhou has lots of powerful Daoists; we’re no match for them. We could die for our lord, but our lord is unjust and all under heaven have abandoned him. We would be dying for nothing. Think about it.”
Ouyang Chun flew into a rage and cursed, “You have received the king’s kindness, and yet instead of repaying him, you want to surrender the pass and join the traitors? And you killed Bian Ji for no reason! You’re worse than a dog! I can lose my head and have my body cut to pieces, but my heart will never turn against the Shang and join with treasonous ingrates!”
Deng Kun and Rui Ji shouted back, “All the nobles have joined the Zhou. Are they ingrates too? It’s because the tyrant has brutalized his people and they’re suffering. The Martial King is waging this campaign on their behalf. How can you call them traitors? You’re truly ignorant of the times.”
Ouyang Chun kept up this shouting match. “His highness misplaced his trust in you traitors, and you are going to sell out your country. I’m going to kill you first to repay him!”
So he raised his sword and attacked. Deng Kun and Rui Ji pulled out their swords, and the three of them went at it. Ouyang Chun was no match for the two of them, and with a loud roar, Rui Ji cut him down. They then chopped off his head and released the Zhou officers who were held prisoner. Flying Tiger was elated to see his brother-in-law Deng Kun, and they ordered the men to open the gates of the pass.
The captured Zhou generals now went back to camp to report the good news. As they were talking to Jiang Ziya, Deng Kun and Rui Ji arrived at camp. Jiang Ziya summoned them in, and they both kneeled as they entered. Jiang Ziya helped them up and commended them for their actions. They then invited his army into the pass.
The Zhou forces went into the pass and were in high spirits. The Martial King Ji Fa followed soon thereafter. As he was reviewing the city’s records, the civilians came with gifts and wine to welcome their new overlords. Ji Fa then ordered a feast be set up to reward the whole army.
After a few days of rest and celebration, Jiang Ziya ordered the army to set out again, this time for the county of Mianchi (3,2), the next Shang stronghold on their way. Within a day, they were within sight of their target, so they pitched camp and prepared for battle.
The Shang commander of Mianchi was named Zhang (1) Kui (2). When he got word that the enemy was knocking on his door, he conferred with his two vanguard generals and prepared for battle.
Meanwhile, Jiang Ziya received a letter from the Grand Duke of the East, Jiang Wenhuan (2,4). So in case you forgot since it was forever ago, Jiang Wenhuan’s father was one of the two grand dukes who met a gruesome end at King Zhou’s hands, which caused their sons and the regions they oversaw to rise up in rebellion. Jiang Wenhuan had been waging war against the Shang for most of this novel, so probably a decade or more by now. But now, he was sending a letter to Jiang Ziya, asking for help.
After reading the letter, Jiang Ziya said to his officers, “We must help Jiang Wenhuan.”
Flying Tiger agreed, “All the nobles look up to the Zhou, so how can we not render aid? You must send forces to help him and put the nobles’ minds at ease.”
When Jiang Ziya asked who could go help, Nezha’s two elder brothers, Jinzha and Muzha, volunteered. So Jiang Ziya gave them an army and sent them off. Then, he turned his attention to the roadblock in front of him and asked who could go attack Mianchi. The general Nangong Kuo quickly volunteered, and he went off and challenged for combat.
From inside the city, one of the vanguard officers came out. They traded some insults and then started trading blows. After 30 exchanges, Nangong Kuo cut his foe in half and returned to camp in victory.
The next day, Flying Tiger came to challenge for battle, and the other vanguard officer went out. This guy lasted 20 bouts before he was skewered by Flying Tiger, who cut off his head and brought it back to camp.
Jiang Ziya was delighted by this success and ordered his army to lay siege to the city. While the city’s soldiers mounted a defense, they also reported the urgent situation to their commander Zhang Kui (2). Zhang Kui now huddled with his wife, Gao (1) Lanying (2,1).
“Our lone city is hard to defend, and we have lost two officers,” Zhang Kui said. “What should we do?”
Gao Lanying said, “You have Daoist powers, and you have an uncommon mount. So what need have you to fear the rebels?”
“My wife, you don’t understand. How many heroes did the five passes have? And yet none of them could stop the Zhou. Heaven’s will is plain to see. With our king acting so tyrannically, how can his vassals sleep easy?”
Just then, word came that the siege was getting to crisis level. So Zhang Kui and his wife now both rode out to take on the attacking army. Outside the city, Jiang Ziya lined up his forces. He then rode forward and said, “General Zhang, do you know heaven’s will? Surrender now, and you will get a high position. If you insist on following a misguided path, then you will end up like the five passes.”
Zhang Kui laughed and scoffed, “You have rebelled against the king and was lucky to make it this far. Today, you will die without a place to bury your corpse.”
Jiang Ziya returned his mocking laughter and said, “The will of heaven and men is plain to see. Yet you persist on your dead-end path. We’re but a hundred miles or so from the capital, with but a river between us. All the nobles have gathered. Your measly city will fall soon enough. How dare you resist us? When a building is collapsing, how can one column hold it up? You’re seeking your own demise!”
Zhang Kui was done talking. He now galloped toward Jiang Ziya with saber raised. From the Zhou side, two of the Martial King’s many brothers rode out to take him on. After exchanging some blows without gaining the upperhand, one of those princes decided to feign a retreat and lure Zhang Kui into a trap. So he started to ride away.
But unbeknownst to him, Zhang Kui has a special horse. It’s called the Black Smoke Unicorn and is uncommonly fast. When Zhang Kui was within three or four arrows’ flights of his two foes, he tapped his horse’s horn, and it suddenly darted forward like lightning. Before one of the princes could react, Zhang Kui had already caught up to him and cut him down. The other prince turned to fight him, but Zhang Kui slew him as well. Jiang Ziya was stunned and quickly signaled for retreat, while Zhang Kui returned to the city and sent word of his victory to the capital.
Back in the Zhou camp, Jiang Ziya was quite unhappy about the setback, while the Martial King wept bitterly at the loss of two of his brothers. Jiang Ziya lamented to his officers, “Who knew that a little county like Mianchi would end up costing the lives of two princes?”
His men said, “Zhang Kui’s horse seems a bit strange. It’s as fast as the wind. That’s why the two princes were caught off guard and lost their lives.”
Just then, word came that Chong (2) the Black Tiger, the Grand Duke of the North, had arrived. Jiang Ziya summoned him, and he came in accompanied by his three friends from Phoenix Mountain — Wen (2) Ping (4), Cui (1) Ying (1), and Jiang (2) Xiong (2). This was the quartet that had previously helped Flying Tiger avenge the death of his eldest son.
After trading greetings, Jiang Ziya asked Black Tiger, “How long have your forces been at Mengjin (4,1)?”
“My forces took Chentang (1,2) Pass and have been at Mengjin for months now,” Black Tiger said. “I heard that your army had arrived here, so I came to pay my respects. I hope you will soon convene with the nobles and take on the tyrant together.”
Jiang Ziya was delighted to have Black Tiger in camp, and brought him to see the Martial King. Black Tiger then said, “I still have not repaid your past kindness. But I have never forgotten it.” Jiang Ziya then threw a banquet for him and set him up with a tent.
The next day, Zhang Kui was back to challenge for battle again. This time, Black Tiger volunteered to go out, and his three friends offered to go with him. So the four of them rode out with their forces. Black Tiger dashed out on his Golden-Eyed Beast with his two battle axes, shouting, “Zhang Kui, the divine troops have arrived! Why have you not surrendered yet, and instead dare to disobey heaven?! You’re seeking your own death!”
Zhang Kui cursed back, “You dishonorable scoundrel! You killed your own brother and usurped his position. You’re the most despicable wretch in the land, and yet you dare to run your mouth?!”
The two of them now went at it, and soon, Black Tiger’s three friends all joined in and encircled Zhang Kui. Watching this, Jiang Ziya told Flying Tiger, “You should go help the grand duke. He did help avenge your eldest son.”
Flying Tiger rode out on his cow and joined the fray. So Zhang Kui was now facing off against five opponents. They traded blows for 40 exchanges without either side getting the upper hand. Black Tiger now thought to himself, “I came here to win, so why bother fighting it out with him?”
So he leaped out of the fight and pretended to flee, preparing to unleash his magic eagle. His four comrades knew what he was up to, so they, too, fled. But once again, they had forgotten about Zhang Kui’s horse. As he closed in, Zhang Kui tapped his horse’s horn, and in the blink of an eye, he was right behind one of Black Tiger’s friends, Wen (2) Ping (4). Before Wen Ping could react, Zhang Kui had cut him down. Black Tiger now reached back to uncork his magic gourd, but before he could do so, Zhang Kui had caught up to him and with one swing, sliced him in half.
So now, the remaining three Zhou generals — Flying Tiger, Cui (1) Ying (1), and Jiang (3) Xiong (2), — turned around and resumed the fight against Zhang Kui. But just then, a horse with peach blossom patterns darted out. Atop it was Zhang Kui’s wife, Gao Lanying. She uncorked a red gourd, and from inside, 49 golden needles flew out and blinded the three Zhou warriors. Unable to see, they were easy pickings for Zhang Kui, who cut them all down. And thus was the end for all five of the Zhou generals, including Flying Tiger, who, until now had some kind of plot armor that kept him alive despite being repeatedly captured by his enemies.
Jiang Ziya was stunned and grief-stricken when he heard the news, particularly the loss of Flying Tiger. As he was mulling how to deal with the enemy, one of his provisions officers, Yang Jian, arrived. Yang Jian came in and said, “I have escorted my shipment through the five passes. I would like to trade in my position and stay with the main army so as to render service in battle.”
“We’re about to convene with the nobles, and we’ll need you with us,” Jiang Ziya said.
Then, Yang Jian heard that Flying Tiger had been slain, and he lamented, “The Huang family are all loyal men. Father and sons have sacrificed their lives in service of the king. They will leave a good name in the historical records. But what skills does that Zhang Kui have? Why did our vanguard not go fight him?”
Said vanguard, aka lotus boy Nezha, piped up and said, “Lord Black Tiger wanted to go, so I let him have the first crack. Who knew he would die in battle?”
Just then, word came that Zhang Kui was challenging for battle again. One of Flying Tiger’s brothers, Flying Tiger Cat, volunteered to go seek revenge, and Jiang Ziya consented. So Flying Tiger Cat rode out and didn’t even bother trading words before he attacked. After 30 bouts, however, Flying Tiger Cat was starting to falter, and Zhang Kui found an opening and cut him down as well.
Yang Jian was holding down the Zhou lines during that battle, and he noticed that Zhang Kui’s horse had a horn, so he figured there were some magic shenanigans there. Yang Jian now galloped out and shouted, “Zhang Kui, don’t you go anywhere. Here I come!”
“Who are you? Why are you trying to get yourself killed?” Zhang Kui asked.
“You scoundrel! You used sorcery to kill our officers. I have come to capture you and cut you to pieces to avenge them!”
And so they now traded blows. After 30 hard-fought exchanges, Yang Jian suddenly left an opening and allowed Zhang Kui to reach out, grab him by the belt, and capture him alive. With his prisoner in tow, Zhang Kui rode back into the city and had his men bring Yang Jian into the main hall.
As Yang Jian stood erect, Zhang Kui shouted, “You’ve been captured; why do you not kneel?!”
“You ignorant scoundrel!” Yang Jian shot back. “We are enemies. Since you have captured me, there’s only death for me. No need for so many words!”
Zhang Kui was irate and ordered his men to execute Yang Jian. So the guards took Yang Jian outside, chopped off his head, and hung it up on display. Zhang Kui was just about to sit down when his stablehand rushed in and said, “My lord, it’s a calamity!”
“What happened?!” Zhang Kui asked in surprise.
“Your horse’s head suddenly fell off!”
The color drained from Zhang Kui’s face. He stamped his foot and lamented, “I rely on that unicorn in battle. How did its head fall off just like that?”
Just as he was stewing, soldiers rushed in and reported, uhh, the guy you just behead is back and challenging for battle. Only now did it strike Zhang Kui that he had fallen for Yang Jian’s trick. He now hopped on a normal horse and rode back out.
As soon as he saw Yang Jian, he cursed, “You traitor! You cost me my horse! I will have it out with you!”
Yang Jian chuckled, “You used that horse to kill our officers, so I killed your horse first, and now I’m going to kill you, you ass!”
“Don’t you run! Taste my blade!” Zhang Kui cursed as he attacked. They traded blows for 20 exchanges, and once again, Zhang Kui found an opening, reached out and captured Yang Jian alive.
“Let’s see how you’ll escape this time!” Zhang Kui cursed as he rode back inside the city with Yang Jian in tow.
This time, Zhang Kui sat in the parlor, contemplating how to deal with Yang Jian. His wife Gao Lanying came to ask what’s up. Zhang Kui let out a long sigh and said, “My wife, all the service I’ve rendered in all my years as an official were thanks to my unicorn. But today, the Zhou officer Yang Jian used sorcery to kill my horse. And now I’ve captured him again, but how should I deal with him?”
“Bring him and let me have a look,” she said.
So the guards brought Yang Jian in. Gao Lanying took one look and chuckled, “I have a way to deal with him. Bring some blood from a black chicken and a black dog, and mix it with urine and feces. Then, run a cord through his collarbone and then pour the blood mixture on his head and put a charm on him to suppress his powers. And then behead him.”
Zhang Kui did as she instructed, and the two of them watched as the men carried out her orders. Gao Lanying put a charm on Yang Jian, poured the mixture of blood, urine, and feces on his head, and then, with one swift swing of her blade, sliced off his head.
Gao Lanying and Zhang Kui rejoiced at their success and returned to the parlor. But no sooner had they set foot inside did they see one of the servant girls come stumbling out, crying, “My lord, my mistress! It’s a disaster! Your mother was in the incense room offering prayers when suddenly, a heap of blood, urine, and manure fell on her head. And then her head fell off! What a bizarre thing!”
So, that escalated quickly. Killing the guy’s horse was one thing, but doing the same to his mother, plus the feces? That feels like a bit of a low blow. Zhang Kui now fell into a stupor and wept aloud, mourning his mother, but to no avail. He had no recourse except to order the servants to prepare her body for burial.
Meanwhile, Yang Jian reported back to camp and told Jiang Ziya, “First I killed Zhang Kui’s horse, and then his mother. His mind is all confused now, so it won’t be hard to capture him.”
Jiang Ziya was delighted. Just then, word came that Zhang Kui was outside, seeking to avenge his mother. Nezha now volunteered to go face him. He went out, powered up, and started fighting Zhang Kui. After a few exchanges, Nezha unleashed his Nine Dragons Sacred Fire Dome. It covered Zhang Kui, and Nezha tapped on the side of the dome and activated the nine dragons, which breathed fire. Within moments, he saw only ashes inside the dome, so he returned to camp and reported his victory, much to Jiang Ziya’s delight.
But unbeknownst to them, Zhang Kui was adept at fast-traveling with the earth element. As soon as she saw the dome coming down, he rolled off his horse, hit the ground, and fast-traveled away, much like the Zhou side’s Tuxing Sun would do. Nezha didn’t spot this, and didn’t realize that the only thing killed by the fire in the dome was Zhang Kui’s horse. So Zhang Kui made it back inside the city and huddled with his wife.
“Why don’t you fast-travel into the enemy camp tonight and assassinate the Martial King and Jiang Ziya?” she suggested. “Then victory will be ours, and you don’t need to fight with them.”
“You’re quite right,” Zhang Kui said. “That damn Yang Jian killed my mother and I haven’t been able to think straight. But tonight, I will succeed for sure!”
To see how his assassination mission will go, tune in to the next episode of the Chinese Lore Podcast. Thanks for listening!
Music in This Episode
- “Sao Meo” by Doug Maxwell / Zac Zinger
- “Ravines” by Elphnt (from YouTube audio library)
- “Slow Times Over Here” by Midnight North (from YouTube audio library)