Gods 072: Playing with Pox
The author recycles plot again as the Zhou forces encounter another pestilence-wielding sorcerer.
Transcript
Welcome to the Chinese Lore Podcast, where I retell classic Chinese stories in English. This is episode 72 of Investiture of the Gods.
Last time, Jiang Ziya and company had moved on to the fourth of the five passes standing in their way as they marched against the Shang. But this latest checkpoint, Tong (2) Pass, was proving to be a challenge. The Zhou army lost its first three battles there, and two generals, including the marquis Su Hu, lost their lives.
On the fourth day, the commander of the pass, Yu (2) Hualong (4,2) led his army out, accompanied by his four sons. Jiang Ziya and his troops came out to meet them. After they lined up, Yu Hualong rode out and traded greetings with Jiang Ziya.
“Commander Yu,” Jiang Ziya said, “I am leading a campaign against the tyrant on heaven’s command, so as to bring him to justice on behalf of the people. Surrender, and you may preserve your wealth and riches. Resist, and you will lose your life, your country, and your family. You got lucky the previous three days and won a few battles. Yet you think you’re invincible. If you persist on this misguided path, it will be too late for regrets when all is destroyed. Please reconsider.”
Yu Hualong, however, laughed. “You lowly scoundrel. You know nothing of heaven or earth. You just know how to spread lies and commit treason. Now that you’ve run into me, I’m going to destroy your entire army and leave your corpses rotting in the field.”
He then turned and asked who would apprehend Jiang Ziya. All four of his sons charged forward, and they were met by four officers from the Zhou side. The eight warriors engaged in a dogged fight.
Yu Hualong’s eldest son, Yu Da (2), was fighting against Su Quanzhong, the son of the lately deceased Su Hu. Yu Da turned and rode away after a few exchanges, and Su Quanzhong gave chase. But Yu Da pulled out his hidden club and turned and struck Su Quanzhong squarely on the chestplate, shattering it. Su Quanzhong fell off his horse. Yu Da was just about to finish him off, but Thunderbolt soared through the air and attacked, keeping Yu Da occupied while other Zhou officers rescued Su Quanzhong.
Yu Hualong himself now charged at Jiang Ziya, but Nezha charged out on his fire wheels to take him on. In the midst of the battle, the Zhou provisions officer Yang Jian arrived and saw the battle. As he watched the 10 warriors engaging in an even duel, he decided to intervene. He summoned his Sky-Barking Hound. It snuck up on Yu Hualong and bit him on the head, taking off his helmet.
Nezha, meanwhile, hurled his Universal Ring and struck Yu Hualong’s fourth son, Yu Xian (1), in the shoulder, sending him fleeing. The Zhou army now swept forward and slaughtered the enemy, chasing them back inside the pass. So again, why aren’t you just sending your winged avenger and lotus boy out against every foe instead of letting your mortal officers foolishly get themselves killed?
Inside the pass, Yu Hualong and his fourth son Yu Xian moaned and groaned all night from their injuries, and everyone was restless. The next day, the fifth and youngest son, Yu De (2), who had been away studying Daoism, returned. When he saw the state that his father was in, he asked what happened. When Yu Hualong recounted yesterday’s battle, Yu De said, “No big deal. This is a bite from the Sky-Barking Hound.” He then administered some magic pills, and both Yu Hualong and Yu Xian recovered quickly.
The next day, Yu De went out to the Zhou camp and asked to see Jiang Ziya. Jiang Ziya went out and saw this young acolyte with his hair tied up in a Daoist bun, clad in hemp sandals and a Daoist robe, wearing a sword on his side.
“Who are you?” Jiang Ziya asked.
“I am Yu De, Yu Hualong’s fifth son,” the acolyte replied. “Yang Jian used his Sky-Barking Hound to wound my father, and Nezha used his Universal Ring to injure my brother. So I have come to avenge them. Let’s both demonstrate our Daoist powers to see who’s better.”
At that, Yu De pulled out his sword and made straight for Jiang Ziya. Yang Jian quickly intervened with his saber, while Nezha unveiled his extra heads and arms and joined the fray, along with a whole gaggle of other Daoist warriors. They surrounded Yu De and kept him so busy that he couldn’t use any of his powers.
After a while, Yang Jiang could see that Yu De exuded a wicked aura, and figured that he must have some sorcery. So Yang Jian pulled back his horse and leaped out of the fight. He then pulled out his slingshot and fired a golden ball that struck Yu De. Yu De let out a loud cry and fast-traveled away.
Upon returning to camp, Yang Jian told Jiang Ziya, “I saw that Yu De had a wicked aura. He must be a sorcerer. We need to be on guard against his black magic.”
Jiang Ziya said, “My master had told me to beware of Da (2), Zhao (4), Guang (1), Xian (1), and De (2). Could he be referring to this Yu De?”
Flying Tiger chimed in and said, “Those are indeed the names of Yu Hualong’s sons!”
Jiang Ziya was alarmed at that revelation, and his face was filled with worry. His eyebrows furrowed as he searched fruitlessly for a plan.
Meanwhile, Yu De returned to the pass and took some magic pills that healed his injury. But he seethed, “If I leave any of those scoundrels alive, then I am no Daoist!”
That night, he told his four brothers, “Bathe and change into fresh clothes tonight. I will use some magic that will exterminate the Zhou army within seven days.”
His brothers did as he instructed. Around 7 p.m., Yu De took out five handkerchiefs that were colored blue, yellow, red, white, and black. He laid them on the floor. Then, he took out five small containers and gave one to each brother, telling them, “When I tell you to shake them, then shake. When I tell you to pour, you pour. Within seven days, all our enemies will be dead without us having to lift a finger.”
So the five brothers stood on the five handkerchiefs while Yu De cast his spell. The five brothers took to the air atop a five-corner cloud. They flew over the Zhou camp and emptied the containers, spreading germs all over the camp before returning to the pass.
Soon, everyone in the Zhou camp came down with a fever, including Jiang Ziya and the Martial King. After three days, basically everyone in camp was aching, sweating, and unable to move. After five or six days, Jiang Ziya’s body was covered with black patches.
The only ones spared from this plague were Nezha, who was immune thanks to his lotus body, and Yang Jian, who had made himself scarce from camp the night the Yu brothers cast their spell because he suspected something was up.
Nezha said to Yang Jian, “It’s like when Lü (3) Yue (4) cast his pestilence spell on us all those years ago.”
“Back then, he was attacking Western Qi, so we still had a wall to hide behind,” Yang Jian said. “But now, we only have our camp. How can we hold out? If the enemy charges out of the pass, what would we do?”
Inside the pass, Yu Hualong and his sons watched from the city walls and saw that the Zhou camp showed no sign of movement. The eldest son, Yu Da, said, “While the enemy is down, let’s charge out and wipe them out in one fight.”
But Yu De said, “Brother, no need to use soldiers. The enemy will perish on their own. And it will let others know how boundless our powers are. Without making a fuss, we will have wiped out 600,000 enemy soldiers.”
Everyone agreed, failing to recognize that by not attacking now, they were missing their one shot at defeating the enemy before deus ex machina rears its head again.
Over in the Zhou camp, Yang Jian and Nezha were fretting when they suddenly saw Master Yellow Dragon, a member of the Chan sect’s class of 12, approaching on a crane. They welcomed him, and Yellow Dragon sat down in the main tent and asked Yang Jian, “Is your master here yet?”
Yang Jian replied that his master, Jade Tripod, had not yet appeared. But just then, Jade Tripod showed up. After greeting the others, he went to check on Jiang Ziya and sighed upon seeing his sorry appearance. He then told Yang Jian, “You’ll need to go to the Fire and Cloud Cavern again.”
The Fire and Cloud Cavern was the abode of the Three Holies, who were high-level creation gods in Daoist mythology. Back in episode 52, when all of Western Qi was suffering from the pestilence unleashed by Lü Yue, Yang Jian had gone to that cave to get the medicine they needed. And so he set off again.
When he arrived, he did not dare to go in unannounced. After a while, he saw the Three Holies’ attendant come out, and he asked the acolyte to announce him. The acolyte went in and returned momentarily to summon Yang Jian in. He entered, kneeled, and offered up a letter from Yellow Dragon and Jade Tripod, recounting the trouble that the Zhou army was in and asking for help.
The leader of the Three Holies, Fuxi (2,1), read the letter and said to one of his comrades, Shennong (2,2), “The Martial King is ascendant and serving the land. He is destined for this ordeal. We should help.”
“You’re quite right,” Shennong said. He then gave three magic pills to Yang Jian and told him, ok, just do the same as the last time you came here. One pill is for the Martial King. Another is for Jiang Ziya. And dissolve the third one in water and spread it around the camp to heal everyone else.
“What is this pestilence?” Yang Jian asked.
“It’s called smallpox,” Fuxi said. “It’s a communicable disease. If you delay in administering the treatment, it would be deadly.”
Yang Jian then asked, “If this disease spreads among the mortals in the future, what medicine can they take to heal themselves? Please tell me.”
“Come with me to the Purple Cloud Cliff,” Shennong said.
So the two of them went out to the cliff. Shennong searched for a while and then plucked an herb and gave it to Yang Jian.
“Spread this herb among the mortals. It can treat smallpox,” Shennong said.
“What is the name of this herb?” Yang Jian asked.
“This herb has yellow roots, purple leaves, and eight-petaled flowers,” Shennong said. “It’s called sheng (1) ma (2).”
Yang Jian now returned to camp and recounted to Jade Tripod and Yellow Dragon what Shennong had said. They immediately administered the medicine and within moments, everybody was starting to recover. The Daoist disciples in camp were the first ones to be back on their feet, and they were all seething over this dirty trick by their opponent, or the shameless recycling of plot by the author.
The next day, Jiang Ziya was irate when he saw his Daoist followers all showing scars from their illness. They now discussed how to sack the pass to get revenge, and everyone shouted, “If we don’t take Tong Pass, we will NOT fall back!”
Meanwhile, inside the pass, Yu Hualong and his sons were resting easy and spending their days drinking and waiting for their enemies to kick the bucket. Soon, it was day number eight since they first cast their spell, and they went up to the city wall to have a look.
But they were in for a shock. Whereas a few days earlier the Zhou camp was eerily silent and devoid of activity, today everyone in camp was looking stout and ready for a fight.
“It looks like the Zhou camp is recovering; what’s going on?” Yu Hualong asked his fifth son, Yu De.
Yu Da, the eldest son, told his little brother, “You didn’t listen to my suggestion a few days ago, and look where that got us. How can they all just die on their own?”
Yu De could say nothing. He thought himself, “My master taught me this spell, and it has always worked without fail. There must be a reason.”
He then said to his father, “With things as they are, there’s no point in speculating about what happened. Someone must have healed them. But they must still be too weak to fight. We can still catch them unprepared and beat them in one battle. If we delay, that could change.”
So Yu Hualong led his five sons and their forces out of the pass and made straight for the enemy camp, with Yu De leading the way. Jiang Ziya and his Daoist followers all went out to face the oncoming foe. Seeing Yu De, Yang Jian scoffed, “Those scoundrels are coming to meet their end!”
So they now all charged out of camp and shouted, “Yu Hualong, today is the day that your and sons die!” And they swarmed around Yu Hualong and his sons, encircling them.
Amid the fighting, Nezha powered up to his three-headed, eight-armed form and flew up to the top of the pass. All the soldiers there quickly scampered off. Seeing the enemy breach the pass, Yu Hualong and his sons tried to extract themselves from the fight at the Zhou camp, but could not.
Suddenly, Thunderbolt landed a blow with his golden staff on the head of Yu Guang, the third son, killing him and knocking him off his horse.
The eldest son, Yu Da, shouted, “Scoundrel, you killed my brother! I will have it out with you!” But before he could get to Thunderbolt, another Daoist warrior, Wei (4) Hu (4), sent his Demon-Taming Club sailing through the air, bludgeoning Yu Da and killing him.
Meanwhile, Yang (2) Ren (4), the guy with hands for eyes, took out his magic and waved it in the direction of the second and fourth sons, Yu Zhao (4) and Yu Xian (1), who were immediately reduced to ashes that scattered to the wind.
Watching his four elder brothers meet their end, Yu De was incensed and charged toward Jiang Ziya. Jiang Ziya wasn’t in any condition to fight yet, so he just unleashed his God-Beating Staff, which struck Yu De, knocking him to the ground, whereupon Nezha’s father, Li Jing, stabbed him to death.
Watching his five sons get killed, and seeing his pass fall to the enemy, Yu Hualong shouted, “My king! I could not help protect your empire, so I will die to repay you!”
As he spoke, he ran his sword across his own neck and died on the battlefield. With the enemy commander and his sons all dead, Jiang Ziya led his forces into the pass, put the civilians at ease, and inspected the storehouses. Taking pity on the loyalty of Yu Hualong and his sons, Jiang Ziya gave them a proper burial. He also ordered that the Zhou soldiers who were still recovering would stay at the pass to recuperate.
This done, Jade Tripod and Yellow Dragon now came to tell Jiang Ziya, “The Ten Thousand Immortals Formation is up next. Have the Martial King stay here. We will lead the army ahead. Have your men set up a reed pavilion to welcome our Daoist allies. This will be our final battle before our trial is over, and then we will be done with the violence of the mortal realm.”
Sensing more plot recycling up ahead, Jiang Ziya sent Yang Jian and Li Jing to go build the pavilion. A few days later, Li Jing reported back that construction was complete. Yellow Dragon now said, “Only the Daoists may proceed. Everyone else should pitch camp 15 miles away and wait until we have broken the formation before they advance.”
So Jiang Ziya and the Daoists went to the pavilion and waited. Soon, all the usual suspects showed up again, clapping and laughing. They all greeted Jiang Ziya and said, “Today, we gather to finish our trial.”
Jiang Ziya welcomed them into the pavilion and they sat down to discuss how to defeat the enemy formation. Though, of course, I don’t know why they even bother when everyone knows the answer is to get your sect leaders plus their Buddha friends. In fact, Master Burning Lamp told everyone, “Let’s wait till our master gets here; they’ll know how to proceed.”
Just then, they heard a rumbling in the distance and saw a massive formation appear out of the mist. This was the doing of Mother Golden Spirit, one of the senior disciples of the Jie Sect. When she saw the flowers emanating from Burning Lamp’s head, she figured that the Chan Sect’s disciples had gathered. So she unleashed a clap of thunder and unveiled the Ten Thousand Immortals Formation.
As the Chan Sect Daoists fixed their gaze on this massive formation, they saw that it was filled with eccentric looking members from the Jie Sect. Burning Lamp nodded and said to the others with a sigh, “Only today did I realize how many people the Jie Sect has, while our sect’s people could be counted easily.”
But Yellow Dragon said, “Ever since our sect was founded, we have respected the tenets of Daoism. But the Jie Sect fills its ranks with riffraffs. They labor in vain and will never attain the true rewards. What a pity for them!”
Divine Virtue then suggested they go take a closer look at the formation. Burning Lamp said, “There’s no need. We’ll just wait till our master shows up, and then we’ll face them.”
But Grand Completion chimed in and said, “We won’t argue with them or attack them. We’ll just have a look.”
Everyone agreed with Grand Completion. Burning Lamp couldn’t keep them all at bay, so they all left the pavilion to go take a look. As they look, they all remarked, “What a wicked formation. All the people inside look strange and vicious. They show no hint of being men who are cultivating their Dao. Instead, they look like men who are bent on violence.”
Burning Lamp now said to everyone, “Do you think they look like god or immortal material?”
After having a good look and talking smack about the enemy amongst themselves, the Chan entourage was just about to head back to the pavilion when they heard the chime of a bell from inside the formation. A Jie sect Daoist named Ma (3) Sui (4) came out and shouted, “Hey you disciples of the Chan sect! Since you’ve come to steal a look at our formation, do you dare to take me on?”
Burning Lamp now nagged his comrades, “See, because you all insisted on having a look, now we’ve got to deal with this trouble.”
Yellow Dragon stepped forth and said to Ma Sui, “Don’t be too full of yourself. We won’t fight you yet. Wait till our sect leader shows up, and then we’ll come break your formation. No need to act up.”
But Ma Sui pulled out his sword and attacked. Yellow Dragon countered, but after just one exchange, Ma Sui unleashed a golden ring that clamped itself around Yellow Dragon’s head. Yellow Dragon immediately felt an unbearable pain on his head, and his comrades saved him and fell back to the pavilion. Once there, they tried in vain to remove the ring from his head, while he was in such agony that fire shot out of his eyes.
Meanwhile, the Chan sect’s leader, Heavenly Primogenitor, had sent his senior disciple, Immortal of the South Pole, on ahead with his jade scepter. South Pole was approaching on his crane when Ma Sui flew up into the air and blocked his way.
“Ma Sui, don’t you act up,” South Pole said with a smile. “My master is on his way.”
Ma Sui was just about to trade a few verbal barbs when he heard divine music in the distance and smelled an exotic fragrance. These signs told him that Heavenly Primogenitor was near, and he figured he better not hang around. So he got out of the way and returned to the formation.
South Pole now headed to the pavilion and greeted his fellow disciples. When Heavenly Primogenitor showed up, he said, “Yellow Dragon is in danger. Come over here.”
Yellow Dragon staggered forward, and Heavenly Primogenitor pointed at him. The golden ring around his head immediately loosened and fell off, much to Yellow Dragon’s relief.
“Today you all will fulfill your destiny,” Heavenly Primogenitor told his disciples. “Then, you must return to your caves, focus on cultivation of your Dao, sever your ties to the mortal realm, and never touch mortal concerns again.”
Just then, they heard more music in the air, signaling the arrival of Laozi, Heavenly Primogenitor’s senior Daoist brother. He descended on his buffalo and entered the pavilion. After trading greetings, Laozi said, “For the sake of the mere 800 destined years of the House of the Zhou, I have had to venture into the mortal realm three or four times. Fate is difficult to avoid, even for Buddhas and immortals.”
Heavenly Primogenitor said, “When chaos sweeps across the world, not even immortals are immune, much less our disciples who have not yet severed their mortal ties. We’re just fulfilling our destiny.”
After that, they all sat and meditated quietly. Around 9 p.m., the two sect leaders’ heads released colorful clouds that flew into the sky. Watching from inside the formation, Mother Golden Spirit knew that the Chan Sect’s leaders had arrived, and she thought to herself, “My master must not be far behind.”
Sure enough, the next morning, Grandmaster of Heaven, accompanied by his many disciples, left the Green Touring Palace and arrived at the Ten Thousand Immortals Formation. He was greeted by Mother Golden Spirit and others, and sat down atop the Eight Trigram Terrace.
“The two leaders of the Chan sect are already here,” Mother Golden Spirit informed him.
“Alas, there can be no reconciliation with them now,” Grandmaster of Heaven said. “Since we have laid out this Ten Thousand Immortals Formation, we must have a showdown with them. Today, we’re all gathered here to finish our trial.”
He then told one of his disciples, Fairy Light with Long Ears, to deliver a letter to the Chan sect’s pavilion. Fairy Light went over and announced his reason for coming. Laozi summoned him in. Fairy Light entered and saw the 12 generations of the Chan sect all standing there. He kneeled and presented the letter. Laozi read it and said, “I understand. Tomorrow, we’ll come break the formation.” Fairy Light then bore that reply back to his master.
The next day, Laozi and Heavenly Primogenitor led their disciples out to have a look at the formation. After sizing up the enemy, Laozi said to Heavenly Primogenitor, “Look at the kind of people the Jie sect takes in. In my view, they have no standards at all. They accept everyone and everything into their sect. These aren’t immortal material. This time, we’ll separate jade from stone, the shallows from the depths. It’s just a pity that those who will be killed will see all their efforts go to waste.”
Just then, Grandmaster of Heaven rode out from the formation on his rhino. He was dressed in a red robe with white crane patterns, wielding a sword, and exuding an air of malice about him.
After they traded greetings, Laozi said to Grandmaster of Heaven, “Brother, you are so shameless and refuse to change your ways. How can you be the leader of a sect? We had already fought it out at the Immortal Slaughter Formation. You should just retreat into obscurity and mend your ways. That would be the action of a sect leader. But instead, you clinged to your evil ways and brought all these people here to build this evil formation. You won’t stop until all has been destroyed. Why?”
Grandmaster of Heaven fumed, “You of the Chan Sect think you’re so special. You allow your disciples to kill my people, and yet you dare to wag your tongue here and spread such lies. In what ways am I not your equal? How dare you bully me? Why don’t you go invite the Buddha Candi (Jandi) here again so he can hit me with his scepter again? Don’t you realize that when he hits me, he’s hitting you as well?”
Heavenly Primogenitor laughed and retorted, “No need to fight with words. Just set your formation and show off some of your skills so we can settle who’s better.”
“The only way this can end is if one of us is no longer leader of our sect,” Grandmaster of Heaven said as he turned and entered his formation. Momentarily, his formation began to move and transformed into a different arrangement featuring three connected camps standing in one cluster.
“Do you two recognize this formation?” Grandmaster of Heaven asked Laozi and Heavenly Primogenitor as he walked back out.
Laozi laughed out loud and said, “This is something I created, so how could I not know what it is? It uses the four bearings of two polarities in a diagram of the cosmos. What’s the big deal?”
“Can you break it?” his foe asked.
Laozi asked which of the Chan sect disciples would take on the task, and Pure Essence shouted that he was volunteering. So he leaped to the front lines. From inside the formation a Jie sect Daoist leaped out. This man had a dark face and a long beard. He wore a black robe with a belt. His name was Fairy Black Cloud.
“Pure Essence, do you dare to try your hand at my formation?!” he shouted.
“Black Cloud, don’t boast!” Pure Essence shot back. “This will be the spot where you die!”
They now pulled out their swords and traded blows. After a few exchanges, Black Cloud pulled out his Universe Muddling Hammer and launched it at Pure Essence. The hammer found its mark and knocked Pure Essence to the ground, and Black Cloud closed in for the killing blow.
To see if Pure Essence will live or die, tune in to the next episode of the Chinese Lore Podcast. Thanks for listening!
Music in This Episode
- “Sao Meo” by Doug Maxwell / Zac Zinger
- “Dark Toys” by SYBS (from YouTube audio library)