Gods 064: School Rivalry
A member of the Chan sect discovers that there’s no such thing as friendly competition with those jerks from the cow college down the road.
Transcript
Welcome to the Chinese Lore Podcast, where I retell classic Chinese stories in English. This is episode 64 of Investiture of the Gods.
Last time, Jiang Ziya was having a bad day while he was trying to sack Sweet Dreams Pass. First he just about got killed by Mother Fiery Spirit before his fellow Chan Daoist, Grand Completion, killed her and saved him. Then, as soon as he and Grand Completion parted ways, he ran into his former fellow student turned nemesis Shen Gongbao. Shen Gongbao knocked Jiang Ziya out of his saddle and was just about to kill him, but suddenly, he heard someone shouting for him to stop. Shen Gongbao looked up and saw that it was another member of the Chan Sect’s Class of 12, Juliu (4,2) Sun (1). Shen Gongbao knew Juliu Sun’s powers and did not dare to go up against him, so he beat a hasty retreat on his tiger.
Juliu Sun, however, chuckled and said, “There’s nowhere to run,” as he unleashed his Immortal Bounding Cord. The cord wrapped itself around Shen Gongbao and brought him down.
“Take him to Qilin Cliff on Kunlun Mountain,” Juliu Sun told a divine bodyguard. “I will deal with him later.”
As the bodyguard set off with the bound Shen Gongbao in tow, Juliu Sun went over to the motionless Jiang Ziya, propped him up against a rock and fed him a magic pill. After a bit, Jiang Ziya came around.
“Daoist brother, you saved my life!” Jiang Ziya exclaimed. “I hadn’t even recovered from my previous injury yet before taking another blow from Shen Gongbao. What rotten luck I’m destined to have!”
Once he was back on his feet, Jiang Ziya took his leave of Juliu Sun and went back to his camp in front of Sweet Dreams Pass. Juliu Sun, meanwhile, traveled on a beam of golden light to the Chan Sect’s Jade Emptiness Palace on Kunlun Mountain. When he arrived on Qilin Cliff on the mountain, he saw his bodyguard waiting. Juliu Sun then went to the palace gates and before long, he saw acolytes come out carrying a pair of banners, a pair of incense pots, and a pair of fans. Behind them was the Chan Sect’s leader, Heavenly Primogenitor.
“Master, may you live 10,000 years!” Juliu Sun said as he kneeled on the side of the path.
“My disciple, you all have parted the clouds,” Heavenly Primogenitor said. “Soon you all will return to form.”
“Per your command, I have captured Shen Gongbao. He is on Qilin Cliff, awaiting your punishment,” Juliu Sun reported.
So they went to the cliff and saw Shen Gongbao.
“You scoundrel!” Heavenly Primogenitor chided him. “What did Jiang Ziya ever do to you, that you must recruit people from near and far to attack him in Western Qi? And today, despite heaven being on his side, you still tried to ambush him. If not for my plan, you might’ve killed him. He is on a mission for me and it is only right that he should help the Zhou. And yet you insist on harming him and blocking the Martial King’s path forward.”
Heavenly Primogenitor now ordered the divine bodyguard, “Lift up Qilin Cliff and pin this scoundrel under it. We’ll let him out only after Jiang Ziya has accomplished his mission.”
As the bodyguard prepared to carry out the order, Shen Gongbao protested his innocence.
“You’ve obviously been trying to harm Jiang Ziya, so how can you claim to be innocent?” Heavenly Primogenitor said. “Fine. If I do pin you under the cliff, then you’ll say that I’m biased for Jiang Ziya. Alright, swear an oath that you will not try to impede him again.”
So Shen Gongbao immediately swore an oath, saying, “If I should attempt to recruit any more immortals to impede Jiang Ziya, may my body be used to plug the whirlpool at the bottom of the North Sea..”
That pledge apparently satisfied his master, as Heavenly Primogenitor released him. Shen Gongbao quickly departed, and Juliu Sun also took his leave. Care to wager how long it’d take for Shen Gongbao to break his oath?
Meanwhile, another member of the Class of 12, Grand Completion, was on his way to the Green Touring Palace, the abode of Grand Master of Heaven, the leader of the Jie Sect. So this was basically the home base of the Chan Sect’s rival school. When he arrived, Grand Master of Heaven was delivering a lecture to his disciples. Grand Completion waited outside for a while before a young acolyte came out.
“Acolyte, please deliver word to your master that Grand Completion is seeking an audience with him,” Grand Completion said.
The acolyte relayed the message, and Grand Master of Heaven summoned his visitor in. Grand Completion entered and kneeled to pay his respects, and Grand Master of Heaven asked what he was doing there.
“Daoist uncle,” Grand Completion said as he presented the golden coronet he took from Mother Fiery Spirit after killing her, “Jiang Ziya is leading an Eastern expedition, and his army has reached Sweet Dreams Pass. This is because the Martial King has the favor of both heaven and the people, while King Zhou (4) is wicked and deserves to be exterminated. However, your disciple Mother Fiery Spirit used the powers of this coronet to block the Zhou army’s path, killing and wounding their soldiers. First she wounded the general Hong (2) Jin (3) and Princess Long (2) Ji (2). Then she wounded Jiang Ziya and almost killed him. On my master’s command, I went to try to dissuade her time and again. Yet she tried to attack me with this coronet and almost harmed me. I had no choice but to unleash my Sky Churning Seal and accidentally hit her in the head, killing her. I have brought her coronet back here so you can decide what to do.”
Grand Master of Heaven now said, “My sect has lost many disciples in this conflict. It’s heaven’s will and cannot be taken lightly, yet no one knows who is destined to meet their end in this affair until after the fact. Grand Completion, go tell Jiang Ziya: He has his God-Beating Staff. If any of my disciples dare to block his path, he is free to use the staff against them. I’ve already posted a notice outside the palace to put my disciples on notice about staying put. If they don’t listen to me, then they’re disobedient, and it’s not Jiang Ziya’s fault. You may go.”
Wow, considering how many times these two sects have butted heads in this novel, this was a mighty magnanimous response from the leader of the losing side. So Grand Completion took his leave and departed. But the senior disciples of the Jie Sect were present and heard what their master had said. They were not amused about the whole “Tell Jiang Ziya that he’s free to beat my students” bit.
The most indignant of the bunch were Mother Golden Spirit and Mother Invincible. They told their fellow disciples, “Mother Fiery Spirit is one of us. In killing her, Grand Completion was essentially killing us. And he even had the gall to come return her golden coronet? He’s obviously rubbing it in our face! Yet our master refuses to hold him responsible and instead told him that Jiang Ziya is free to beat us. They obviously think nothing of us!”
Another female disciple, Mother Spiritual Tortoise, became irate at those words. She shouted, “What BS is this?! He killed Mother Fiery Spirit and dared to come return her coronet?! Let me go capture Grand Completion to alleviate our anger!”
So she pulled out her sword and charged toward Grand Completion. When he heard her shouting, he stopped and asked with a smile, “Daoist friend, how may I help you?”
“You killed one of us and then dared to come here to feign politeness?” Spiritual Tortoise fumed. “You’re obviously rubbing it in and showing off. You’re most despicable! Don’t you go anywhere! I shall avenge Mother Fiery Spirit!”
As she spoke, she swung her sword. Grand Completion parried her blow with his own sword and said, “Daoist friend, you’re mistaken. We didn’t pick on her; she brought this upon herself. And it was heaven’s will. It has nothing to do with me. How can you seek revenge for that?”
“How dare you keep insulting us?!” Spiritual Tortoise cursed as she swung again.
Grand Completion now said sternly, “I’ve been treating you with courtesy, and yet you keep pushing me. You think I’m afraid of you? Even if you were my senior fellow apprentice, I would only let you get two free swings at me.”
Spiritual Tortoise, though, showed no sign of letting up as she swung a third time. Grand Completion now turned red with anger and raised his sword to counter. After a few bouts, Grand Completion unleashed his Sky-Churning Seal again. Seeing this powerful macguffin come crashing down on her, Spiritual Tortoise panicked and reverted to her real form, which was — surprise, surprise — a giant tortoise.
Seeing their fellow apprentice being forced into reverting to her real form, the other Jie Sect disciples felt even more humiliated. Now, four other Jie Section disciples shouted, “Grand Completion, how dare you humiliate our sect?!” as they charged with their swords.
Grand Completion thought to himself, “I’m on their turf. As the old saying goes, ‘A single strand cannot be spun into a thread.’ This won’t end well. Let me run back to their Green Touring Palace and have their master resolve this.”
So he turned around and raced back to the Green Touring Palace. This time, he didn’t wait to be announced and instead sprinted right to Grand Master of Heaven.
“What are you doing back here?” the Jie Sect’s leader asked him.
Grand Completion kneeled and explained, “Daoist uncle, I was leaving per your instructions. But your disciple Mother Spiritual Tortoise and others wanted to avenge Mother Fiery Spirit. I had nowhere to go, so I came to ask you to save me!”
Grand Master of Heaven now told his attendant to summon Spiritual Tortoise. When she showed up, he asked why she attacked Grand Completion.
“He killed one of our disciples and dared to come here to present her coronet; he’s obviously showing us up!” she said angrily.
“I am the sect leader,” Grand Master of Heaven said. “How dare you disobey me? You all ignored my instructions and brought trouble upon yourselves. This is all part of heaven’s plan. You think I don’t know that? Grand Completion returned the coronet because he was following our sect’s commandments and did not dare to use our magical treasures. Yet you all were so vicious and disobeyed my commands. How despicable! Kick her out of the palace! She is banned from attending my lectures!”
As Spiritual Tortoise was taken out of the palace, her fellow disciples were fuming, telling each other, “How can our master take Grand Completion’s side over one of our own?”
As the Jie sect disciples left in a huff, Grand Master of Heaven told Grand Completion to hurry up and leave. So Grand Completion thanked him and left. But no sooner had he walked out of the palace gates did he notice a throng of Jie disciples chasing him, shouting, “Catch Grand Completion so we can get our revenge!”
Grand Completion went ah crap! “This is no good,” he thought to himself. “If I fight them, they’d have me outnumbered. Let me go back into the palace to escape this danger.”
And so he went into the palace for the third time and kneeled in front of Grand Master of Heaven again.
“Grand Completion, why are you in my palace again?” Grand Master of Heaven asked. “This is most irregular!”
“Daoist uncle, I was leaving per your instructions, but your students refused to let me go and wanted to fight me. I came here out of respect for you. I hope you can exercise compassion toward me, so as to preserve your friendship with my master.”
Grand Master of Heaven was irate. He told his attendant, “Go bring those ignorant scoundrels in here!”
When the attendant went out and declared to all the disciples that their master had summoned them, they knew they were in for a scolding. So they had no choice but to skulk into the palace.
“You disobedient scoundrels!” Grand Master of Heaven cursed. “How dare you go against my command and stir up trouble?! Grand Completion is helping the Martial King per the agreement among our sects. This is in accordance with heaven, and those who opposed him were going against heaven’s will and deserved their fate. How dare you act up like this?!”
That tongue-lashing left all the disciples looking at the ground in silence. Grand Master of Heaven then told Grand Completion, “You should carry on as I have told you. Don’t pay these people any mind. Be on your way.”
Grand Completion thanked him and left the palace. Finally, this time, he was able to depart in peace and returned to his abode on Nine Immortal Mountain.
Once his guest was gone, Grand Master of Heaven lectured his disciples again about stirring up trouble with Grand Completion. One of those disciples, Multi-Precious Immortal, kneeled and said, “How would we dare to disobey your sage teachings? But Grand Completion went too far in humiliating our sect and showing off his sect’s powers. Master, you don’t know how he badmouthed us. Instead, you took him at his word and was deceived.”
Grand Master of Heaven was skeptical, however. “Our sects all came from the same root. How would he dare to speak unkindly of us? Do not stir up trouble.”
“Master, I didn’t dare to tell you at first,” Multi-Precious said, “but he was cursing our sect, saying that we were heretical, that you don’t make any distinctions between those with hair and those with horns; between those who are live born and those who are hatched from eggs. He thought nothing of us and declared that his Chan Sect was superior to all. That’s why we couldn’t take it anymore.”
“No, I think he’s an honest man,” Grand Master of Heaven replied. “He won’t have said something like this. You must have misheard.”
But all his disciples now swore up and down that they had all heard Grand Completion spout off exactly as Multi-Precious described. That convinced Grand Master of Heaven, who scoffed. “If he thinks I was born with feathers and horns, then what of his master? That scoundrel is so disrespectful.”
He now told another disciple, Mother Golden Spirit, to go to the back and fetch his four magic swords. She returned momentarily with the swords and Grand Master of Heaven said to Multi-Precious, “Since Grand Completion dared to mock our sect, you may take these four swords to Border Placard Pass to set up the Immortal Slaughter Formation. Let see who from the Chan sect would dare to enter. If trouble breaks out, I’ll deal with it.”
“What powers do these swords have?” Multi-Precious asked.
“They each have a name,” Grand Master of Heaven explained. “They’re called Immortal Slaughtering Sword, Immortal Slaying Sword, Immortal Entrapping Sword, and Immortal Exterminating Sword. Hang them over the gate. Thunder will roar, and the swords will shine, and no matter how powerful an immortal may be, they would not be able to escape.”
Grand Master of Heaven then also gave his disciple a formation diagram and said, “Go to Border Placard Pass and block the Zhou army. See how powerless they’ll be against you.” And so Multi-Precious hurried off.
Meanwhile, in the Zhou camp, everyone was out searching for Jiang Ziya after he disappeared from the battlefield. Jiang Ziya was riding back to camp and ran into the Chan sect disciple Wei (4) Hu (4). Wei Hu was ecstatic and told him, “After our forces were scattered by the Fire Dragon Troops, we were struggling to regroup. But then Mother Fiery Spirit ran off chasing after you. Her soldiers were all just wielding minor sorcery. Once their mistress had vanished, all the flames died down, and they were no match for us. So we turned around and killed them all. But we couldn’t find you. Nezha is out searching everywhere, but who knew I would run into you here!”
So Wei Hu sent word on back to camp, and the commander Hong (2) Jin (3) came out to welcome them. Everyone was happy to see Jiang Ziya. They regrouped their army and did a head count. They lost about 5,000 soldiers, but Jiang Ziya told them how Mother Fiery Spirit had been slain and Shen Gongbao had been captured, and everyone celebrated. They then set up camp again about 15 miles outside of Sweet Dreams Pass.
After resting for three days, Jiang Ziya led his troops to the foot of the pass and set up camp there. Inside the pass, the Shang commander Hu (2) Sheng (1) still had no idea regarding the fate of Fiery Spirit. When he got word that the enemy had returned, he was alarmed.
“If Jiang Ziya and his army are back, then Mother Fiery Spirit must be dead!” he said.
He then gathered his officers and asked them, “I had already surrendered to the Zhou, but then Mother Fiery Spirit came along and stirred up all this trouble and made me go back on my word. Even though we beat the enemy twice, it didn’t accomplish anything. What should we do now?”
One of his officers suggested, “You can pin all the blame on Mother Fiery Spirit. Then Jiang Ziya won’t hold you responsible.”
Hu Sheng agreed and sent the officer to deliver another letter of surrender to the Zhou camp. Jiang Ziya summoned in the officer and read the letter, which said:
“From Hu Sheng, surrendered commander of Sweet Dreams Pass, and his staff pay their respects to the Grand Commander of the Zhou: Untalented as I am, I’ve been attentive to my duties as commander of this border outpost, hoping to repay my lord. But heaven has turned against the Shang. When your army first arrived at our pass, my brother Hu Lei and Mother Fiery Spirit ignored the will of Heaven and opposed you, causing trouble and bringing about their own demise. I am regretful beyond words. Yet I know you are merciful and compassionate, so I am sending my officer to deliver another letter, praying that you can take pity and allow us to surrender, so as to spare our people. All the residents of our city will await you as eagerly as a timely rain.”
Jiang Ziya now told the messenger, “Since your commander has already surrendered, I will let bygones be bygones. Tomorrow, he must surrender the pass without any more delays.”
The commander Hong Jin, however, cautioned, “Hu Sheng has proven to be unreliable. You must not trust him. It may be a trap.”
“No, what happened before was the doing of his brother and Mother Fiery Spirit,” Jiang Ziya said. “In my view, Hu Sheng is sincere about surrendering. Say no more of this.”
He then told the messenger, “Go tell you commander that we will enter the pass tomorrow.”
When the officer returned to the pass and relayed the message, Hu Sheng was delighted. He immediately ordered his men to raise the banners of the Zhou atop their city wall. The next morning, he and his officers led all the civilians out of the pass, hoisting incense and a flag of surrender. They greeted Jiang Ziya and his army and escorted them to the commander’s main hall.
Jiang Ziya sat down, and his officers lined up on both sides. Hu Sheng then approached, kneeled, and said, “I have always wanted to submit to the Zhou, but my brother didn’t recognize the will of Heaven and met his demise. I had already written a letter of surrender to General Hong Jin, but then Mother Fiery Spirit insisted on obstructing your way, despite my attempts to dissuade her. That led to further offense. I hope you will forgive me.”
Jiang Ziya replied, “Listening to you, it’s clear that you cannot be trusted. The first time you surrendered, you didn’t really mean it. You just had no help, so you were hoping to save your own neck. When Mother Fiery Spirit came along, you changed your mind again. You’re a disloyal villain, not a gentleman who sticks by his words. Even though it was Mother Fiery Spirit’s idea to resist, you had to have been willing to go along with it. I cannot trust you, and you will be a source of trouble in the long run.”
He then shouted to the guards, “Take him outside and execute him!”
Uhh, so this was NOT what Hu Sheng had expected. And honestly, this didn’t seem like a particularly honorable move on Jiang Ziya’s part either. But it was too late for regrets, and soon, Hu Sheng’s head was presented to Jiang Ziya, who ordered that it be hung in front of the pass as a warning.
And so Sweet Dreams Pass now belonged to the Zhou. The next day, Jiang Ziya appointed someone to take over command of the pass while he led his army back to Sishui Pass. Nezha’s father Li (3) Jing (4), who had been left in charge of the Zhou camp in Jiang Ziya’s absence, welcomed them back. Jiang Ziya went to inform the Martial King Ji Fa about his success, and they celebrated.
Let’s go check in now on the other Zhou army, the one led by Flying Tiger. They were on their way to attack Green Dragon Pass. Once they arrived outside the pass, they pitched camp and prepared for battle.
Green Dragon Pass was commanded by a general named Qiu (1) Yin (3), who had four lieutenants. When he got word that the Zhou army was on his doorstep, Qiu Yin assembled his staff and told th em, “The Zhou is encroaching on our borders without cause. They’re reckless. This is the time for us to all do our utmost. You must all dedicate yourselves to repaying the country.”
“We’re willing to put our lives on the line!” all his officers replied. And everyone was itching to meet the enemy.
In the Zhou camp, Flying Tiger asked who would lead the first battle. The general and former Shang commander Deng (4) Jiugong (3,1) volunteered. He rode out to the pass and demanded combat. One of Qiu Yin’s lieutenants rode out to meet him. They traded the customary insults and then began hacking at each other. After 30 exchanges, Deng Jiugong gained the upper hand. He feigned an opening to lure his opponent in, and then cut him down with a roar. He cut off his foe’s head and returned to camp in victory. Flying Tiger was delighted and rewarded him with wine.
When Qiu Yin got word that his lieutenant had been slain, he was pissed. The next day, he personally led his army out of the pass to demand battle. Flying Tiger came out with his troops to face him. Once they lined up, Qiu Yin rode out and shouted, “Flying Tiger, you ungrateful, unfilial, disloyal traitor! You rebelled, killed officers of the court, and robbed royal storehouses as you fled. Then you helped Ji Fa in his treachery. And now, you’re encroaching on the king’s territory. You’re truly despicable, and you will suffer the punishment of heaven!”
Flying Tiger scoffed, “All in the realm are mustering their forces, and King Zhou’s end is near. You are but a pawn. What skills do you have, that you would dare to stand against the divine troops?”
He then turned and asked his officers who among them would go capture Qiu Yin. One of his sons, 17-year-old Huang Tianxiang (1,4), immediately volunteered. He galloped out with spear in hand, and was met by one of Qiu Yin’s three lieutenants. They traded blows for 15 bouts before Huang Tianxiang’s spear found its mark and pierced his foe’s heart.
Seeing another of his officers slain, Qiu Yin was irate and charged out with a roar, galloping toward Huang Tianxiang with spear raised. Huang Tianxiang secretly rejoiced, thinking, “This top merit will be mine!”
So he raised his spear to take on Qiu Yin. Huang Tianxiang was every bit his father’s son, and Qiu Yin soon recognized that he was no match for this fearsome young warrior. Before long, Qiu Yi was on the defensive. Seeing this, his two remaining lieutenants rode out to help, but the Zhou general Deng Jiugong dashed out and quickly cut down one of them and started trading blows with the other.
Meanwhile, Qiu Yin was so back on his heels against Huang Tianxiang that he couldn’t find a spare second to use his Daoist magic. And when he saw Deng Jiugong cut down another of his lieutenants, he started to panic. Just then, Huang Tianxiang’s spear struck him in his left leg. Qiu Yin cried out in pain and turned and rode away. Huang Tianxiang now latched his spear and let fly an arrow. It struck Qiu Yin in the shoulder as he galloped away. At the same time, Qiu Yin’s last lieutenant saw him fleeing and panicked, and that was all the opening Deng Jiugong needed to cut him down as well.
After limping back to the pass, Qiu Yin was furious. “All four of my lieutenants have been killed, and that Huang Tianxiang stabbed me in the leg and shot me in the shoulder,” he fumed. “The next time I face him, I’m going to capture him and cut him to pieces!”
Then, he applied some magic ointment to his wounds and within three days, he had fully recovered. So he now rode back out and demanded to face Huang Tianxiang again. Huang Tianxiang went out again, and Qiu Yin didn’t even bother trading insults before attacking.
This time, they fought for 30 bouts. Judging by Qiu Yin’s hairstyle, Huang Tianxiang figured he was a sorcerer, so he figured he best end this fight before Qiu Yin pulled out any dirty tricks. So suddenly, Huang Tianxiang’s dropped his spear, leaving himself defenseless. Seeing an opening, Qiu Yin thrusted his spear hard toward his foe. But this was exactly what Huang Tianxiang was hoping for. He dodged the thrust, pulled out his silver-plated short staff, and landed a hard strike right on Qiu Yin’s front chest plate.
To see if this was the end for Qiu Yin, tune in to the next episode of the Chinese Lore Podcast. Thanks for listening!
Music in This Episode
- “Sao Meo” by Doug Maxwell / Zac Zinger
- “Dark Toys” by SYBS (from YouTube audio library)
- “Ravines” by Elphnt (from YouTube audio library)