Gods 057: Lights Out

Gods 057: Lights Out

Gods 057: Lights Out

The Chan sect has its hands full with yet another prodigal disciple and his lieutenant of mysterious origins.

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Transcript

Welcome to the Chinese Lore Podcast, where I retell classic Chinese stories in English. This is episode 57 of Investiture of the Gods.

Last time, Yin Jiao, the former crown prince of the Shang, had been given a few extra heads and appendages by his master, the Chan sect Daoist Grand Completion, and sent to Western Qi to help Jiang Ziya on his pending expedition against the Shang. Like his younger brother before him, Yin Jiao assured his master that he had no loyalty to his father, King Zhou (4). And also like his younger brother, he then picked up some outlaws as helpers on his way to Western Qi. And just to spare the author from having to, god forbid, write an original plot, Yin Jiao then ran into Jiang Ziya’s nemesis Shen Gongbao, who had turned his younger brother against the Zhou, which ultimately led to said younger brother’s demise. Well, Shen Gongbao was gonna Shen Gongbao, and although Yin Jiao proved a little less suggestible than his brother, Shen Gongbao still managed to throw his allegiance into confusion by telling him that Jiang Ziya had killed his brother out of jealousy.

Once Yin Jiao and his entourage arrived outside Western Qi, he saw the besieging Shang army led by the commander Zhang Shan (1) parked nearby. So Yin Jiao sent one of his outlaw helpers, Wen (1) Liang (2), to go to the Shang camp and make inquiries. 

Now, Zhang Shan had been sitting around waiting for Winged Immortal to come back after that Jie sect Daoist had gone out a couple nights ago to supposedly turn Western Qi into an ocean. He had no idea that Winged Immortal had met his match and submitted to Master Burning Lamp of the Chan sect. As Zhang Shan was fretting, his men suddenly came to tell him that a warrior was outside asking for him to go welcome the crown prince.

“The crown prince has long been dead,” Zhang Shan thought to himself. “So what’s up with this?”

He summoned Wen Liang into his tent, and Wen Liang restated that he was there on behalf of the crown prince Yin Jiao, asking Zhang Shan for a meeting. Zhang Shan consulted with one of his officers, who advised him that it couldn’t hurt to go meet whoever this was and see if he was really the prince. So Zhang Shan and his officer followed Wen Liang to Yin Jiao’s camp.

As soon as Zhang Shan entered, he couldn’t help but notice that the supposed crown prince had three heads, six arms, and a vicious appearance, and was flanked by Wen Liang and Ma (3) Shan (4), two guys who each had three eyes. 

“My lord, which branch of the Shang family tree do you belong to?” Zhang Shan asked.

“I am Yin Jiao, the crown prince of the current king,” said the prince, who then recounted how he escaped certain death at his father’s hand and came to be here, with a few spare heads and limbs.

Zhang Shan quickly kneeled and paid his respects, and Yin Jiao asked, “Do you know what happened to my brother Yin Hong?”

“His highness was waging war against Western Qi, and Jiang Ziya used a magic map to turn him into ashes. This happened quite a while ago,” Zhang Shan replied.

Yin Jiao let out a loud cry and passed out when he heard that. Everyone helped him up and brought him around, and he now wailed, “Turns out my brother really did die at a villain’s hand!”

He then leaped to his feet, picked up an arrow and snapped it in two, swearing, “If I don’t kill Jiang Ziya, I shall end up like this arrow!”

The next day, Yin Jiao rode out and demanded to speak with Jiang Ziya. Jiang Ziya went out with his army, and saw a man with three heads and six arms, accompanied by two guys with three eyes, all brandishing weapons. Lotus boy Nezha chuckled, “There are nine eyes between the three of them. They’ve got half a person to spare!”

Yin Jiao now galloped out to the front of the lines and shouted, “Jiang Ziya, come out to see me!”

Jiang Ziya rode out and asked who he was. His counterpart replied, “I am the crown prince Yin Jiao! You used your magic map to turn my brother Yin Hong into ashes. How can I let that slide?!”

Now, Jiang Ziya had no idea what’s happening here, since he never got word that one of his Chan sect buddies had sent Yin Jiao to come help him, much less what his nemesis had told Yin Jiao on the way. And when you get down to it, what Yin Jiao accused him of was, you know, true, since yes, he did use a magic map to turn Yin Hong into ashes. So Jiang Ziya just shot back, “Yin Hong brought destruction upon himself. What does it have to do with me?!”

Well, to Yin Jiao that sounded like a confession confirming everything he had heard. He just about passed out again from anger. He now shouted, “You scoundrel! I will have it out with you!”

He then charged and attacked with his halberd. Nezha quickly dashed out on his hot wheels to fight him. After just a few exchanges, Yin Jiao used one of the magical weapons that his master had given him, the Sky Churning Seal. He launched the seal skyward, and it came down and knocked Nezha off his wheels. Nezha’s Daoist comrade Huang Tianhua quickly charged out to fight Yin Jiao while others rescued Nezha. 

Meanwhile, Yin Jiao pulled out another of his master’s treasures, the Soul-Dropping Bell. As soon as he rang the bell, Huang Tianhua fell out of his saddle, and the Shang commander Zhang Shan dashed out and captured him alive. By the time Huang Tianhua came to, he was already tied up. 

Seeing his son get captured, Flying Tiger now charged out on his magic cow. After trading a few blows, Yin Jiao again rang the bell, and Flying Tiger also fell to the ground and was captured by Yin Jiao’s outlaw buddies. So just like when Yin Jiao’s little brother was here, Flying Tiger and his son had been captured by a soul-sucking macguffin. 

On the Zhou side, Yang Jian saw what was happening and was worried that Jiang Ziya was going to be next. So he quickly advised retreat. After falling back into the city, Jiang Ziya was brooding in his office, and Yang Jian said, “Daoist Uncle, this is so odd.”

“What’s so odd?” Jiang Ziya asked.

“Well, doesn’t this remind you of exactly what happened a couple episodes ago? It’s like somebody is recycling scripts here,” Yang Jian said.

Ok, he didn’t really say that. What he said was, “I noticed that Yin Jiao used the Sky Churning Seal to hit Nezha. That’s Master Grand Completion’s treasure. How did Yin Jiao end up with it?”

“Could Grand Completion have sent him here to attack me?” Jiang Ziya wondered.

“Did you forget about what happened with Yin Hong?” Yang Jian reminded him, and Jiang Ziya went ooooh right.

Meanwhile, in the Shang camp, Yin Jiao had his two prisoners brought into the command tent. Now, the last time Flying Tiger saw Yin Jiao was a decade ago, and in the intervening years the prince had grown a few extra inches, heads, and arms, so Flying Tiger had no idea who he was. Yin Jiao asked him for his name, and Flying Tiger answered.

“Wait, there’s a Flying Tiger in Western Qi as well?” Yin Jiao wondered aloud.

Zhang Shan, who was sitting nearby, said, “No, this IS the Flying Tiger who used to serve the king. He rebelled and defected to the Zhou. It’s because of his treason that we have been at war. But there is no escaping the net of heaven. He has brought doom upon himself.”

But when Yin Jiao heard that this was the same Flying Tiger who had let him and his brother go free all those years ago, he quickly got up and untied Flying Tiger, saying, “Benefactor, if not for what you did back then, how could I still be alive?”

He then asked Flying Tiger who the other prisoner was. When Flying Tiger said it was his son, Yin Jiao had Huang Tianhua released as well. He then told Flying Tiger, “Because you saved me and my brother before, I’m releasing you and your son today to repay your kindness.”

Flying Tiger thanked him and then asked where he had ended up when he was swept away by wind from the execution grounds all those years ago. Yin Jiao didn’t want to tell the whole truth, so he just said, “An immortal saved me and instructed me. Now, I have come to avenge my brother. I have repaid your great kindness. If we meet again, it would be best for you to avoid a confrontation. If you are captured again, you will be dealt with according to the law.”

So Flying Tiger and Huang Tianhua once again left the Shang camp and came back to the city. This was seriously getting old. The guards let them in, and Jiang Ziya was thrilled to see them. Although, if I were Jiang Ziya, I would probably be like, “What took you so long this time?”

The next day, Yin Jiao sent Ma Shan (4), one of his officers, to challenge for battle. Jiang Ziya asked who would go answer the call, and Deng (4) Jiugong (3,1) volunteered. He rode out and didn’t even bother trading names before getting down to business. After a dozen bouts or so, Deng Jiugong gained the upper hand. He parried Ma Shan’s spear and grabbed his belt, yanking him off his saddle and capturing him alive.

When Deng Jiugong reported back with his prisoner, Jiang Ziya had Ma Shan brought in. Ma Shan refused to kneel and showed no signs of fear. 

“You’ve been captured; why do you not kneel?” Jiang Ziya asked.

Ma Shan laughed out loud and cursed, “Old scoundrel! You’re nothing but a traitor. Since I’m your prisoner, just go ahead and kill me. No need for words!”

Jiang Ziya was like, ok, have it your way. He instructed the general Nangong Kuo to execute the prisoner. So Nangong Kuo took Ma Shan outside, forced him to his knees, and brought his blade down on his neck. Except, the blade went right through Ma Shan like water, and Ma Shan was just fine.

Nangong Kuo rushed back inside and told Jiang Ziya, “I tried to behead Ma Sha three times in a row with my cutlass. But as soon as the blade passed through his neck, the wound closed back up. There must be sorcery at play. Please tell me what to do.”

Jiang Ziya was stunned and went out with his officers to have a look. And sure enough, the cutlass went through Ma Shan without doing any harm. The Daoist disciple Wei (4) Hu (4) said let me have a try, and he brought his Demon-Taming Club down on Ma Shan’s head. A golden light shot out when the club collided with the head, and Ma Shan was not even dented.

Jiang Ziya then told his Daoist comrades, “Burn this demon with holy fire.”

So Nezha, Jinzha, Muzha, Thunderbolt, Huang Tianhua, and Wei Hu all started to breathe sacred fire from their mouths, but Ma Shan rode the flames up into the sky and laughed, saying “See ya!”, and disappeared. The sight of his escape made Jiang Ziya brood once again.

Yang Jian now said to Jiang Ziya, “Do you want me to go see Master Grand Completion to see what’s the story with Yin Jiao? I can also stop by Master of the Clouds and borrow his Demon Exposing Mirror so we can find out what kind of demon Ma Shan is.”

Jiang Ziya agreed, so Yang Jian fast-traveled to Nine Immortals Mountain to call on Grand Completion, who said, “I sent Yin Jiao to help Jiang Ziya few days ago. How did you like his three heads and six arms? I’ll drop by when Jiang Ziya is given command of the eastern expedition.”

Yang Jian was like, uhh yeah, about that. “Instead of attacking the Shang, Yin Jiao has turned against Western Qi,” he said. “He used your Sky Churning Seal to injure Nezha. He’s acting without regard for anything or anyone. I have come on Jiang Ziya’s command to find out the truth.”

Grand Completion was stunned. He shouted, “That beast! He disobeyed my instructions. He will surely bring doom on himself! I gave him all my treasures; who knew he would betray me? Ok,  you go on back first, and I’ll be right behind you.”

Yang Jian took his leave and then fast-traveled to the Southern Tip Mountain, where Master of the Clouds resided. This was the Daoist who had first tried to kill Daji after she entered the palace, but to no avail. Yang Jian went to his cave and said, “Daoist uncle, Western Qi encountered an enemy, Ma Shan, who is impervious to weapons and fire. We don’t know what kind of demon he is. I’d like to borrow your Demon Exposing Mirror. Once we have dispatched that demon, I will return it.”

Master of the Clouds gladly obliged, and Yang Jian reported back to Jiang Ziya. The next day, Yang Jian rode out to the Shang camp and demanded to fight Ma Shan. So Ma Shan went out to meet him. Yang Jian secretly flashed the Demon Exposing Mirror at his opponent, and in the mirror, he saw a lamp with a flickering wick. He then put away the mirror and galloped right at Ma Shan. They traded blows for 30 bouts, and Yang Jian retreated. Ma Shan didn’t bother giving chase and just returned to camp.

Yang Jian went to Jiang Ziya and said, “When I looked at Ma Shan in the mirror, I saw a lamp. I don’t understand.”

His comrade Wei Hu chimed in, “I know of three magic lamps in the world. One is in the residence of Master Laozi. Another is in the Jade Emptiness Palace, the home of our master, Heavenly Primogenitor. The third is on Divine Hawk Mountain. Could he be a demon that transformed from the wick of one of those lamps? Brother Yang, you should go check those three places.”

So Yang Jian set off, first toward the Jade Emptiness Palace on Kunlun Mountain, which he had never been to, despite being a disciple of the Chan sect. When he arrived, he waited outside for a long while until White Crane Acolyte came out. He then bowed and asked, “Daoist brother, may I ask, is the glazed lamp before our master still burning?”

“Yes, of course,” White Crane Acolyte replied.

So Yang Jian next headed to Divine Hawk Mountain, the abode of Master Burning Lamp. He went into the cave and bowed, and Burning Lamp asked what he was doing there.

“Master, your glazed lamp is out,” Yang Jian said.

Burning Lamp looked over at his namesake and went ah crap! Yang Jian then recounted what was happening at Western Qi, and Burning Lamp said, “You go on back, and I’ll be there shortly.”

So Yang Jian reported back to Jiang Ziya and set his mind at ease that Burning Lamp was on the way. Just then, Grand Completion had also arrived. When Jiang Ziya went out to greet him, Grand Completion bowed and apologized, “I didn’t realize what had happened. Who knew that Yin Jiao would have a change of heart? It’s my fault. I will go order him to come over.”

Uh sure. You do know what happened with his brother, right? Grand Completion now went out to the Shang camp and shouted, “Tell Yin Jiao to come see me at once!”

When the guards told Yin Jiao that a Daoist was outside demanding to speak with him, Yin Jiao suspected that his master had come calling. So he went out and bowed from his saddle, saying, “Master, pardon me for not kneeling, as I am wearing armor.”

Seeing that his disciple had traded in his Daoist garb for royal regalia, Grand Completion shouted, “You beast! Did you forget what you said on the mountain? Why did you change your mind?”

Yin Jiao wept and said, “Master, please hear me. I left the mountain as you commanded, and along the way, I recruited Wen Liang and Ma Shan. But then I ran into Shen Gongbao, who tried to convince me to fight for the Shang instead. I would never dare to disobey your instructions. I know that my father is cruel and dishonorable and has offended all under heaven. I would never dare to disobey heaven’s will. But what crime did my younger brother commit, that he must be turned to ashes by the magic map? What wrong did he do to them, that he must meet such a tragic end? This is not the act of a virtuous man! Just to speak of it pains me to the heart. And yet you are here to punish me?”

As he spoke, Yin Jiao began to wail aloud. Grand Completion told him, “Yin Jiao, you don’t know that Shen Gongbao has it out for Jiang Ziya. You cannot believe what he told you. Your brother brought his own destruction upon himself. That was preordained.”

“Master, what kind of joke is that?” Yin Jiao pushed back. “You say that Shen Gongbao cannot be trusted and that my brother’s death was preordained. But it couldn’t be that my brother just willingly stepped onto the magic map to seek out his own death. How sad it is that I live but my brother is gone. Master, please go home. Once I have killed Jiang Ziya and avenged my brother, then we can revisit the matter of the Eastern expedition.”

“Do you remember your oath to me?” Grand Completion said.

“I do, but I would willingly suffer the fate of breaking that oath than to go on living without avenging my brother!”

That angered Grand Completion, and he pulled out his sword and attacked. Yin Jiao parried his blow and said, “Master, why are you siding with Jiang Ziya against your own pupil? You’re too biased. This is not a good look!”

Grand Completion took another swing, and Yin Jiao blocked that blow and said, “Master, why are you attacking me for someone else’s sake? You’re always talking about the way of Heaven and the way of Man. You’re too unreasonable!”

“This is all preordained by heaven!” Grand Completion scolded him. “You show no remorse and continue to disobey me. You will be killed for sure!”

As he spoke, he took another swing with his sword. Yin Jiao became flushed in the face and said, “Since you insist on attacking your own pupil, then pardon me for not yielding anymore!”

And so, teacher and student went at it. After a few exchanges, Yin Jiao unleashed the Sky Churning Seal, which sent Grand Completion running away on a beam of golden light back into Western Qi. When Jiang Ziya greeted him, Grand Completion was furious, saying, “Shen Gongbao convinced Yin Jiao to betray us. I tried to change his mind time and again, but he refused to listen. So I got angry and we started to fight. That beast tried to hit me with my own seal. So I came back to figure out how to deal with him.”

Just then, word came that Master Burning Lamp had arrived, so they went out to welcome him. Burning Lamp told Jiang Ziya, “I have come because of my glazed lamp. It must have been preordained.”

Burning Lamp then said, “Ma Shan is the lesser of our worries. Let me go tame him first, and then we’ll deal with Yin Jiao.”

He then laid out a plan for Jiang Ziya. The next day, Jiang Ziya rode out of the city alone and demanded to see Ma Shan. When the guards brought word of this to Yin Jiao, he thought, “Yesterday my master came to see me and couldn’t beat me. And now Jiang Ziya is here alone demanding to see Ma Shan. There must be something more to this. Let me send Ma Shan out to fight him and see how it goes.”

So Ma Shan went out and made straight for Jiang Ziya. After a few exchanges, Jiang Ziya fled toward the southeast, away from the city. Ma Shan gave chase. When he closed in to within a few arrows’ flight, he suddenly saw a Daoist standing under a willow tree. The Daoist let Jiang Ziya pass, and then stepped out to block Ma Shan’s path, shouting, “Ma Shan, do you recognize me?!”

Ma Shan knew it was Burning Lamp but pretended not to recognize him and instead stabbed at him with the spear. Burning Lamp took out his glazed lamp and sent it into the sky. As it came crashing down, Ma Shan tried to dodge but couldn’t. As the lamp trapped Ma Shan, he was forced to return to his original form — a wick burning in the lamp. Master Burning Lamp now ordered a divine bodyguard to take the lamp back to his cave.

Shang scouts quickly brought word of this to Yin Jiao, telling him that Ma Shan was chasing Jiang Ziya and then suddenly disappeared in a bright flash of light, leaving only his horse behind. Yin Jiao was suspicious and ordered his army to go out and settle the score with Jiang Ziya. 

Jiang Ziya was talking with Burning Lamp and Grand Completion about what to do with this prodigal disciple when he got word of this latest challenge. Burning Lamp told him, “You have your magic yellow banner. That will protect you.”

So Jiang Ziya went out with his army and said to Yin Jiao, “You disobeyed your master. You will not escape the fate of being executed by a plow. Surrender now, or you’ll regret it.”

Yin Jiao gnashed his teeth and cursed, “You scoundrel! You turned my brother into ashes. I will never coexist with you!”

He then raised his halberd and charged. Jiang Ziya drew his sword, and the two went at it. Yin Jiao’s officer Wen Liang rode out to help, but he was met by Nezha. Wen Liang pulled out a white jade ring and hurled it at Nezha, but Nezha unleashed his own Universal Ring, which was gold. And once again, gold beats jade, as Wen Liang’s ring was smashed to pieces. Wen Liang roared in anger and came at Nezha, but Nezha hurled his golden brick and struck Wen Liang squarely in the back, almost sending him off his saddle. Before Wen Liang could recover, Yang Jian fired a ball with his slingshot and it pierced his shoulder. This time, Wen Liang fell dead to the ground.

Seeing his man get killed, Yin Jiao unleashed the Sky Churning Seal to strike Jiang Ziya. But Jiang Ziya unfurled his yellow banner, which emitted many beams of golden light that enveloped him like protective cage. At the same time, a thousand white lotus flowers materialized, also shielding him while keeping the seal twirling in the sky. 

Jiang Ziya now unleashed his God-Beating Staff. It struck Yin Jiao in the back and knocked him to the ground. Yang Jian charged out to cut off his head, while the Shang commander Zhang Shan and his lieutenant rushed out to try to save him. But before either side could reach him, Yin Jiao had fast-traveled away. 

Jiang Ziya now returned to the city in victory. Burning Lamp then said to Grand Completion, “The Sky Churning is a handful to deal with. And Jiang Ziya’s special day is drawing near. If that gets delayed, it’s going to be your fault.”

“Master, tell me how I can eliminate this evil,” Grand Completion asked.

“I don’t have any ideas either,” Burning Lamp lamented.

Meanwhile, Yin Jiao fled back to camp injured and brooded in his tent. Suddenly, he was told that a Daoist was outside, seeking an audience. This man wore a fishtail coronet, had a face like a red date, a long red beard and red hair, and three eyes. He wore a red Daoist robe embroidered with symbols of the eight trigram and rode a flaming red horse.

After they traded greetings, Yin Jiao offered this Daoist the seat of honor, and the Daoist did not stand on ceremony and plopped himself down in the chair. Yin Jiao then asked for his name.

“I am Luo (2) Xuan (1), from Fire Dragon Island. Shen Gongbao asked me to come lend you hand,” the man said.

Yin Jiao was delighted and offered him wine. Luo Xuan told him that he followed the vegetarian Daoist diet, so Yin Jiao offered him some weak, undistilled wine instead. Then, three or four days passed, and Luo Xuan had not gone out to challenge for battle. Yin Jiao couldn’t help but ask, umm, so … when does the part where you help me kick in?

“I have a Daoist friend and he’s not here yet,” Luo Xuan said. “When he gets here, I will guarantee success. No need to worry.”

Later that day, guards came and reported that another Daoist was seeking an audience. Luo Xuan and Yin Jiao summoned him in. This guy had a yellow face with a coiled beard and wore a black robe. Once they greeted each other and sat down, Luo Xuan said, “Brother, why are you late?”

“I had to finish my weapon first,” the man said.

Yin Jiao now asked for his name, and the guy said, “I am Liu (2) Huan (2), from Nine Dragons Island.”

So Yin Jiao treated him to wine as well. The next day, the two Daoists went out and asked for Jiang Ziya. Jiang Ziya went out with his entourage and saw how vicious Luo Xuan looked. Jiang Ziya said to his Daoist followers, “That man is red from head to toe. Even his horse is red!” And everyone remarked, “The Jie sect has so many odd characters.” 

To see what tricks this latest oddity has up his sleeve, tune in to the next episode of the Chinese Lore Podcast. Thanks for listening!

Music in This Episode

  • “Sao Meo” by Doug Maxwell / Zac Zinger
  • “Ravines” by Elphnt (from YouTube audio library) 
  • “Dark Toys” by SYBS (from YouTube audio library)

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