Gods 054: Blood and Gore
The latest Jie Sect Daoist strikes fear into his foes’ heart … by eating it.
Transcript
Welcome to the Chinese Lore Podcast, where I retell classic Chinese stories in English. This is episode 54 of Investiture of the Gods.
Last time, the former Shang prince Yin Hong (2) had been sent by Master Pure Essence of the Chan sect to go help Jiang Ziya. But along the way, he ran into Jiang Ziya’s nemesis, Shen Gongbao, who convinced him to fight for the Shang instead, even though his father, King Zhou (4), had tried to execute him. So Yin Hong took his army and his master’s magic items and went to fight against Western Qi instead of for Western Qi.
After some initial success, Yin Hong was having a tougher time in battle number two. Two of his recently recruited officers were killed, and Yin Hong discovered that his Yin Yang Mirror had no effect against Nezha, on account of the latter being made of lotus. Panicked, Yin Hong had to resume fighting with conventional weapons.
Meanwhile, on the Zhou side, Yang Jian had seen Yin Hong flash the mirror around and recognized it. He quickly told Jiang Ziya, “Daoist uncle, you must fall back at once. Yin Hong is using the Yin Yang Mirror. And I saw that your God-Beating Staff didn’t seem to do anything against him. He must have some hidden magic item protecting him. And now I see him waving that mirror at Nezha. Thankful, Nezha is not made of flesh and blood, so he’s ok.”
Hearing this, Jiang Ziya ordered the female warrior Deng (4) Chanyu (2,4) to lend Nezha a hand, or a stone. She galloped out and let fly a pebble, which whistled its way into Yin Hong’s face, leaving him bruised and dazed. As Yin Hong turned to flee, Nezha found an opening and thrusted his spear through Yin Hong’s chestplate. But underneath his armor, Yin Hong was wearing the Purple Fairy Longevity Robe that Pure Essence had given him, which protected him against all pointy objects. Stunned at Yin Hong’s imperviousness to being stabbed, Nezha did not dare to give chase, and Jiang Ziya returned to the city in victory. Yin Hong returned to camp with a big bruise on his face and a seething hatred for Jiang Ziya in his heart as he swore to avenge that day’s defeat.
Meanwhile, Yang Jian went to see Jiang Ziya and said, “When we were on the battlefield, I saw Yin Hong using the Yin Yang Mirror. If not for Nezha, we would have lost some men. Let me go see Master Pure Essence and get to the bottom of this.”
Jiang Ziya contemplated this for a while and gave Yang Jian permission to go. So Yang Jian fast-traveled to the mountain abode of Pure Essence. After trading greetings, Yang Jian said, “Master, I have come to borrow your Yin Yang Mirror to help Jiang Ziya defeat a Shang general. I will return it promptly.”
Pure Essence said, “But Yin Hong had taken it with him some days ago when I sent him to go help Jiang Ziya. Did he not have the mirror with him?”
“Actually, Yin Hong is the reason I’m here,” Yang Jian said. “Instead of joining the Zhou, he has instead joined the Shang and is waging war against Western Qi.”
Pure Essence stamped his foot and sighed, “I put my faith in the wrong person! I gave Yin Hong all my magical items. Who knew that beast would cause such chaos?! You go on back first, and I’ll be right behind you.”
So Yang Jian returned to Western Qi and brought Jiang Ziya up to speed. After three restless days, Jiang Ziya got word that Pure Essence had arrived. He rushed out to greet him, and the two walked back into the hall hand-in-hand.
“Sir, I’m so sorry!” Pure Essence said. “I sent Yin Hong to help you invade the Shang so that he can return to his homeland. But that beast disobeyed my instructions and caused chaos.”
“Daoist brother, how could you give him your Yin Yang Mirror?” Jiang Ziya asked.
“[Sigh] I gave him all my magical items,” Pure Essence lamented. “I was afraid that he would run into obstacles on the expedition, so I gave him my Purple Fairy Longevity Robe to protect him from weapons. I don’t know who that scoundrel talked to on the way that made him change his mind. Alas, it’s not too late yet. Tomorrow, I will make him come over and atone for his crime.”
The next day, Pure Essence went out to the Shang camp and shouted, “Guards, go tell Yin Hong to come see me.”
The guards went in and told Yin Hong that a Daoist was outside asking to talk to him. Not knowing who it was, Yin Hong, still seething about his injury, rode out with his remaining two officers. When he recognized his master, Yin Hong was taken aback and didn’t know what to do. He had no choice but to bow and say, “Master, pardon me for not kneeling as I am clad in armor.”
“Yin Hong, what did you tell me back in my cave?” Pure Essence said. “Why did you then turn against Western Qi? You had sworn an oath that your limbs would be turned to ashes if you went back on your word. Dismount at once and follow me to Western Qi, so that you may repent and avoid calamity. Otherwise, it will be too late for regret when trouble comes for you.”
“Master, please hear me,” Yin Hong said. “I am King Zhou’s son, so how can I help the Martial King instead? As the old saying goes, ‘The son must not discuss his father’s faults.’ How would I dare to rebel and try to kill my father? That ethic applies no matter if one is mortal, god, or immortal. Besides, as another saying goes, ‘Before you can pursue immortality, you must first attain humanity. Without humanity, immortality is out of reach.’ As my master, even if you won’t teach me how to become an immortal, you cannot instruct me to go against rules of decency and kill my father. That is what I had to say. I await your instruction.”
Pure Essence scoffed. “You beast! King Zhou has pushed aside the rules of decency and acted most brutally and unjustly, killing the loyal. Heaven has long since doomed the Shang. That’s why the Zhou and the Martial King are ascendant. They are in accordance with heaven’s will and civilians have flocked to them. If you help the Zhou, then you can at least preserve the Shang’s bloodline. If you don’t listen to me, then it must be preordained that King Zhou is so wicked that his line cannot be allowed to continue. Dismount now and repent. I will help you explain your offense.”
But Yin Hong now said sternly, “Master, please go on back. A teacher cannot instruct his pupil to undertake something so disloyal and unfilial. I cannot obey. Once I have defeated the rebels of Western Qi, I shall come see you and repent.”
Pure Essence flew into a rage. “You beast! How dare you disregard my teachings?!”
As he spoke, he raised his sword and attacked. Yin Hong parried his blow and said, “Master, why must you try to harm your own disciple for Jiang Ziya’s sake?”
“The Martial King is a sage lord, and Jiang Ziya will be remembered for ages for helping the Zhou!” Pure Essence told him. “Why are you acting so recklessly in defiance of heaven?”
He then took another swing, which Yin Hong also parried. Yin Hong again pleaded, “Master, we share the bond of teacher and pupil. And yet you have pushed that aside in your anger. If you insist on holding on to your biased view, then our bond will dissipate into nothing.”
“How dare you wag your tongue?!” Pure Essence fumed as he took another swing. Now, Yin Hong was also fuming.
“Master, I have yielded to you three times. All courtesy due to one’s teacher has been paid. Now, I can’t yield anymore!”
And so, teacher and pupil now went at it full throttle. After a few exchanges, Yin Hong took out the Yin Yang Mirror. Pure Essence knew full well its powers, so he quickly fast-traveled away back to Western Qi. When Jiang Ziya greeted him, he recounted what happened. All the disciples of the Chan sect were up in arms and told him, “Master, you were too meek. How can a teacher allow a pupil to lecture him?!” To this, Pure Essence made no reply. He just sat in unhappy contemplation.
Meanwhile, Yin Hong now thought that he was the bee’s knees since even his own master had to flee the battlefield against him. As he was discussing strategy with Su Hu, guards came and told him that a Daoist was outside, requesting an audience. Yin Hong summoned the man in and saw that he was of medium build and had a face like melon skin, with protruding teeth and a wide mouth. He wore a red robe and a string of human skulls around his neck. Also around his neck was a gold-inlaid container made from a human head, with flames coming out of where his eyes, ears, and nose should have been.
Everyone was taken aback by this Daoist’s appearance. He now stepped forth and asked who was Yin Hong. Yin Hong introduced himself and asked the man for his name.
“I am Ma (3) Yuan (2), a Daoist from White Bone Cave on Skeleton Mountain,” the Daoist replied. “Shen Gongbao asked me to come lend you a hand.”
Yin Hong was delighted and offered him a seat. He then asked Ma Yuan whether he ate only vegetarian meals or if he ate meat. Ma Yuan told him that he ate meat, which was kind of against Daoist rules. Yin Hong now threw a feast to welcome him.
The next day, Ma Yuan went out and demanded to speak with Jiang Ziya. Jiang Ziya was like, oh great, another one of those 36 armies that I had coming to me. Why the hell didn’t I listen to my master and just not look back when Shen Gongbao was calling my name? Anyway, there was no dodging this, so he went out with his army.
When they met, Jiang Ziya and Ma Yuan traded the usual barbs about how “No, YOU’re acting against heaven’s will!” And then they started to trade blows. After a few bouts, Jiang Ziya unleashed his God-Beating Staff, but Ma Yuan simply reached up and grabbed the staff out of the air and stashed it in his leopard-skin pouch.
Jiang Ziya was stunned. In the midst of this action, a man suddenly galloped onto the scene, clad in phoenix helmet, golden mail armor, red battle robe, and white jade belt. He shouted, “Prime Minister, here I come!”
This was Wu (3) Rong (2), a high-ranking general and provisions officer from a nearby province. He was delivering grain to Western Qi and happened upon this fight. So he rushed over to join the action. As he attacked with his saber, Ma Yuan was no match for his brawn. So Ma Yuan quickly uttered an incantation, and suddenly, a ginormous hand emerged from the back of his head, plucked Wu Rong (2) from his saddle, and threw him to the ground. Then, Ma Yuan put a foot on one of Wu Rong’s legs, and took hold of the other leg with his hands. In one ferocious motion, he tore Wu Rong in half and pulled out his still bloody heart. He then turned to face Jiang Ziya and the Zhou officers, put the dripping heart in his mouth, chewed, and swallowed.
“Jiang Ziya, if I catch you, you’ll end up like this too!” Ma Yuan shouted.
Everyone on the Zhou side was like, “What the eff?!” Ma Yuan now challenged for battle again. This time, the earth traveler Tuxing Sun charged out to meet him. Like so many before him, Ma Yuan took one look at his diminutive stature and chuckled, saying, “What the hell are you doing here?”
“I came to capture you!” Tuxing Sun said as he swung his staff at Ma Yu.
“Damn scoundrel!” Ma Yuan cursed as he raised his sword and swung at Tuxing Sun. But Tuxing Sun used his nimbleness to his advantage, jumping all around Ma Yuan and sneaking in seven or eight good whacks on Ma Yuan’s legs. Ma Yuan was getting sore and tired, so he summoned his ginormous third hand again, and the hand grabbed Tuxing Sun and chucked him to the ground. But as soon as he hit the ground, Tuxing Sun disappeared. Ma Yuan didn’t know about Tuxing Sun’s powers, so he was a bit puzzled as to what happened to his foe.
But before he had time to think too hard on the matter, a pebble came screaming in and dinged him squarely on the face. This was Tuxing Sun’s wife, Deng Chanyu, turning to her specialty. But while the pebble hit Ma Yuan squarely in the face, it didn’t draw blood. It just caused a bunch of sparks and made Ma Yuan really pissed. Just then, Yang Jian came galloping in and attacked. Ma Yuan was no match for him, so after just a few bouts, Ma Yuan again summoned the magic hand. This time, the hand threw Yang Jian to the ground, and Ma Yuan grabbed his legs and ripped him apart and ate his heart, just like before.
Having had his fill of heart sashimi for the day, Ma Yuan pointed at Jiang Ziya and said, “I’ll let you live an extra night. I’ll see you tomorrow!” He then went back to camp, where he was greeted by an ecstatic Yin Hong with a celebratory banquet.
The feast went deep into the night, but around 9 p.m., Ma Yuan suddenly furrowed his brow and grimaced.
“What’s wrong?” Yin Hong asked.
“My stomach hurts,” Ma Yuan replied.
“Maybe the raw human hearts didn’t agree with you,” Zheng Lun said. “Drink some warm wine, and you should be ok.”
So they heated up some wine and brought it to Ma Yuan. But the more he drank, the worse the pain got, until he suddenly let out a blood-curdling scream and started rolling around on the ground, shouting in pain while you could hear a gurgling sound coming from his abdomen.
“I can hear your stomach churning,” Zheng Lun said. “Maybe you need to go relieve yourself, and then you’ll be ok.”
So Ma Yuan dragged himself off the floor and went to the back of the camp to use the latrine, and boy did he ever have to go. He was afflicted with explosive diarrhea for the next three days, and it was so bad that he lost half of his body weight.
So, this was all Yang Jian’s doing. Using his powers of transformation, Yang Jian tricked Ma Yuan into swallowing a … umm, magic pill, thinking he was swallowing Yang Jian’s heart. While Ma Yuan was glued to the latrine for days, Yang JIan snuck back to the city and told Jiang Ziya what happened. “I figured I’ll put him down for a bit while we figure out what to do,” Yang Jian said. “He’s going to be unable to fight for the next six or seven days.”
While they were talking, Nezha rushed in and said that Master Wenshu (2,1), another member of the Chan sect’s class of 12, had arrived. Jiang Ziya welcomed him in, and Wenshu said, “Congratulations! You will soon be named a commander!”
But Jiang Ziya lamented, “Right now, Yin Hong has disobeyed his master’s instructions and is helping Su Hu wage war against us. And they also have help from Ma Yuan, who is brutal. I’m on pins and needles.”
Wenshu said, “I heard that Ma Yuan had come to attack you. I was worried it would delay your special day, so I came to tame him. Don’t worry.”
Jiang Ziya was elated. “If you can help me, it would be my great fortune and my country’s great fortune,” he said. “But how will you tame him?”
Wenshu whispered a few words in his ear, and Jiang Ziya immediately gave some instructions to Yang Jian, who went off to make the arrangements.
Later that afternoon, Shang scouts noticed Jiang Ziya outside their camp, alone, seated atop his Four-Not-Like and pointing this way and that with his sword. They quickly reported this to Yin Hong, who asked Ma Yuan how they should proceed.
“That scoundrel Yang Jian tricked me a couple days ago and left me in a sorry state,” Ma Yuan said. “Let me go catch Jiang Ziya so as to quelch my anger.”
So he went out and shouted, “Jiang Ziya, don’t you run!” and stomped toward Jiang Ziya with sword in hand. Jiang Ziya hurriedly countered with his own sword. After trading a few blows, Jiang Ziya turned and rode away. Eager to capture his foe, Ma Yuan kept up a hot pursuit. But after a while, he thought to himself, “Jiang Ziya is riding on his Four-Not-Like, while I’m on foot. Fine, I’ll let him go today and deal with him tomorrow.”
But when Jiang Ziya saw Ma Yuan pull up, he also stopped and shouted, “Ma Yuan, do you dare to fight a few bouts with me here? I would capture you for sure!”
Ma Yuan laughed, “What skills do you have? You think I won’t dare to chase you?”
And with that, he started his pursuit again. Jiang Ziya traded a few cursory blows with him and rode away again. Ma Yuan was fuming now. “How dare you try to lure me in?!” he thought to himself as he gritted his teeth and continued his pursuit. “If I don’t catch you today, I swear I won’t go back to camp! Even if I have to chase you to Kunlun Mountain, I will catch you!”
So the chase went on, and soon, evening was descending. Ma Yuan turned around the foot of a tall, treacherous looking mountain and lost sight of Jiang Ziya. By now, he was exhausted from the chase, so he leaned up against a pine tree to catch his breath, planning to go back to camp tomorrow.
Around 9 p.m., Ma Yuan was suddenly startled by the sound of explosives ringing out from atop the mountain. He looked up and saw Jiang Ziya and the Martial King Ji Fa sitting up there drinking, while the officers around them all shouted, “Ma Yuan has fallen into our trap. He will be dead for sure!”
Enraged, Ma Yuan leaped to his feet and charged up the mountain with sword in hand. But when he got to the top of the mountain, there was not a single soul up there. And then, when he turned his gaze down to the foot of the mountain, he saw a sea of torches, surrounding the mountain as men shouted, “Don’t let Ma Yuan get away!”
Again enraged, Ma Yuan chased down the mountain, but when he got to where the torches had been, everyone had vanished. So yeah, we’ve seen this play before. This kept up for a while more, as Ma Yuan ran up and down the mountainside chasing ghosts. By the time dawn came, he had been at it all night and was tired and starving.
“Fine, let me go back to camp for now, and deal with Jiang Ziya when I sack his city,” Ma Yuan thought to himself. So he left the peak of the mountain and started walking back to camp. But suddenly, he heard someone crying out in pain from a canyon. These cries were pitiful. Ma Yuan now rushed around the foot of the mountain and found a woman lying in the grass.
“Who are you? Why are you yelling?” Ma Yuan asked.
“Help me, master!” the woman pleaded.
“Who are you? How can I help?”
“I am a civilian. I was going home to see relatives, but suddenly came down with severe cold chest pains. My life is hanging by a thread. Can you go find some nearby village or home and ask for some hot soup? That will save me. It would be a great kindness.”
“Miss, there’s nowhere to get hot soup around here,” Ma Yuan said. “You’re dead one way or another, so why don’t you let me make a meal of you, and it would help both of us.”
“If you can save me, of course I will serve you a meal,” the woman said.
“No, that’s not what I mean,” Ma Yuan said. “I was chasing Jiang Ziya all night and I’m starving. Since you’re going to die anyway, why not do me a favor and let me eat you.”
“Master, stop joking,” the woman said in a panic. “How can you eat a human being?”
But Ma Yuan was so famished that he didn’t even bother reasoning with her. He stomped forward, put one foot on her chest and the other foot on her thigh. He then cut open her clothes with his sword, exposing her belly. He now stabbed her abdomen, causing a spurt of blood to squirt out. He scooped the blood with his hands and swallowed several mouthfuls. So yeah, this was some gruesome stuff.
Ma Yuan now poked his hands into her body to find her heart so he could feast on something substantial. But as he felt around, not only was there no heart, he couldn’t feel any other organs either, just a cavity full of blood. Hmm, that’s … weird.
Just then, a Daoist approached atop a deer, holding a sword. This was Wenshu. Seeing him, Ma Yuan quickly tried to pull his hands out of the woman’s body to fight. But suddenly, her skin grew back and closed up the cavity, with his hands stuck in there. Ma Yuan now stepped on her body and tried hard to pull his hands out, to no avail. As Wenshu approached, all Ma Yuan could do was kneel in this most compromised of positions and beg for mercy.
Raising his sword, Wenshu was just about to kill Ma Yuan when suddenly, someone called out from behind, “Daoist brother, spare him!”
Wenshu turned and saw someone he didn’t recognize. This Daoist had his hair tied up in two coils and wore a Daoist robe. He had a yellow complexion and a short beard.
After trading greetings, Wenshu asked the man who he was and what he wanted.
“You don’t know me,” the man said. “I am Candi (Jandi), a Buddha from the West. This Ma Yuan was not destined to die here. He is destined to convert to Buddhism. Be compassionate and give him to me.”
Of course, this was all sorts of anachronistic, since this story is set about four or five centuries before the historical beginnings of Buddhism. But historical accuracy is not really this novel’s thing, so sure, let’s roll with it. Wenshu laughed and said joyously, “I have long admired Buddhism. And you are a talented celestial, so of course I will obey your wishes.”
Candi now put his hand on Ma Yuan’s head and said, “My Daoist friend, what a pity that you have thrown away all your cultivation of the Dao. Why don’t you follow me to the West and study the Way beside the Eight Virtue Pond and enjoy a carefree life in the Forest of Seven Gems.”
Well, that sounded awfully nice, even if the alternative wasn’t to die a bloody death. So Ma Yuan agreed without a second thought. Candi thanked Wenshu, and then retrieved the God-Beating Staff from Ma Yuan and told Wenshu to return that to Jiang Ziya. Then, he set off back to the West with his new disciple in tow.
So Wenshu returned to Western Qi and told Jiang Ziya what happened. He then returned the God-Beating Staff. But even then, Pure Essence was standing there with furrowed brows. He said, “Right now, we still have Yin Hong causing trouble. I fear it may delay Jiang Ziya’s special day. What should we do?”
Just then, Yang Jian came in and said that Immortal of Merciful Navigation, a fellow member of the class of 12, had arrived. The three men rushed out to welcome him. After trading greetings, Jiang Ziya asked Merciful Navigation why he had come.
“I came specifically for Yin Hong,” Merciful Navigation said.
Pure Essence brightened up at that and asked how Merciful Navigation planned to deal with his prodigal disciple.
“Do you still have the magic map that was used to break the 10 formations?” Merciful Navigation asked.
“Got it right here,” Jiang Ziya said.
Merciful Navigation then laid out a plan. The details pained Pure Essence, but seeing that Jiang Ziya’s special day was coming up soon, he had no choice to go along with it. He said to Jiang Ziya, “We must have you go. Only then can this plan succeed.”
In the Shang camp, Yin Hong was getting worried that Ma Yuan went out to fight and never came back. He told his two remaining officers, “Since we don’t know Ma Yuan’s fate, let’s go fight Jiang Ziya tomorrow to feel him out, and then look for Ma Yuan.”
Zheng Lun said, “It has to be a huge fight, or we won’t achieve success.”
So the next morning, the Shang army charged out to the foot of the city, and Yin Hong demanded to speak with Jiang Ziya. The three senior Chan Daoists told Jiang Ziya, “You go on out there, and we’ll help you succeed.”
So Jiang Ziya went out with a small detachment of troops and none of his followers. He pointed at Yin Hong and shouted, “You disobeyed your master. Today, you cannot avoid calamity. Your limbs will surely turn to ashes, and it’s too late for regrets!”
Enraged, Yin Hong raised his halberd and galloped forth to fight Jiang Ziya. After a few exchanges, Jiang Ziya turned and retreated. But instead of running back to the city, he ran away from it. Yin Hong and his two officers quickly gave chase. To see what’s waiting for them, tune in to the next episode of the Chinese Lore Podcast. Thanks for listening!
Music in This Episode
- “Sao Meo” by Doug Maxwell / Zac Zinger
- “Slow Times Over Here” by Midnight North (from YouTube audio library)
- “The Quiet Aftermath by Sir Cubworth (from YouTube audio library)
- “Dark Toys” by SYBS (from YouTube audio library)