Gods 036: Devil of A Time
Jiang Ziya gives his foes a taste of the future hell that is climate change, but soon finds himself besieged by even more powerful enemies.
Transcript
Welcome to the Chinese Lore Podcast, where I retell classic Chinese stories in English. This is episode 36 of Investiture of the Gods.
Last time, Jiang Ziya and the forces of the Zhou repelled a siege from the Shang, killing all of its commanders and Daoist helpers in the process. The Shang then sent another army, led by the old general Lu (3) Xiong (2) and the sycophants Fei (4) Zhong (4) and You (2) Hun (2). They camped out across some Zhou forces on Western Qi Mountain. The weather was sweltering, so the Shang army was sensibly encamped in the shade of the woods at the foot of the mountain. But inexplicably, Jiang Ziya ordered his forces to set up camp on much more exposed and much hotter grounds atop a peak. Even more inexplicably, he then gave every soldier a winter coat, which elicited more than a few eyerolls.
That night, Jiang Ziya’s disciple Wu Ji reported that the earthen terrace that Jiang Ziya wanted him to build behind the camp was complete. Jiang Ziya now ascended the terrace with sword in hand and his hair hanging down. He bowed toward the east, in the direction of Kunlun Mountain, and then recited incantations and sprinkled magic water on the ground. Suddenly, a wild gale whipped up, tearing through the woods, kicking up dust everywhere. The air was so dusty that people had trouble keeping their eyes open.
In the Shang camp, Lu Xiong took note of the wind and how it had driven the heat away, which delighted him. He said, “If Grand Tutor Wen is on his way with reinforcements, then this would be the perfect weather for a fight.”
The sycophants Fei Zhong and You Hun also chimed in and said, “This must be heaven’s blessing for our king, sending a cooling wind to help us.”
But over the next three days, the strong winds kept raging like tigers. And then suddenly, snow flurries started to fall. Before long, the flurries turned into a heavy snowfall that covered the ground. The Shang soldiers now complained, “We are wearing thin clothing and light armor. How can we withstand the cold?”
In the command tent, Lu Xiong also wondered aloud about this snow in summer. He was also having a tough time dealing with the cold, especially at his age. And of course, neither sycophant had anything useful to contribute, so they and their whole army just sat there freezing.
On the nearby peak, however, Jiang Ziya’s troops were cozy and warm in their winter coats, for which they were all grateful to Jiang Ziya. Jiang Ziya now asked how deep the snow accumulation was. Wu Ji told him that it was 2 feet deep at the top of the peak, and 4 or 5 feet at the foot of the mountain.
Jiang Ziya then returned to the earthen terrace and uttered more incantations. And just like that, the snow stopped, the clouds parted, and the blazing sun reappeared in the sky. Before long, the snow all melted and turned into a roaring deluge as it flowed down the mountain.
Seeing this, Jiang Ziya now quickly uttered more incantations, and the winds and clouds returned, and the temperature rapidly dropped once again. In the blink of an eye, all the water that had pooled near the foot of the mountain turned into a sea of ice, and the Shang forces were trapped within this ice.
Jiang Ziya now told the officers Nangong Kuo and Wuji, “Take 20 soldiers with you to the foot of the mountain, go into the enemy’s camp, and bring me their commander.”
The two did as he instructed. When they entered the Shang camp, they saw that all the enemy soldiers were frozen in the ice, and many had perished. In the main tent, they found the commander Lu Xiong and the two sycophants Fei Zhong and You Hun also trapped. They easily apprehended all three and brought them up the mountain to see Jiang Ziya.
When the prisoners were brought into camp, the two sycophants fell to their knees, but Lu Xiong remained standing. Jiang Ziya said to him, “Lu Xiong, you must understand the will of heaven and be able to tell right from wrong, truth from lies. Right now, all the realm knows that King Zhou is wicked and has abandoned him and joined us. We possess two-thirds of the realm. So why must you go against heaven’s will and doom yourself? Now that you have been captured, what do you have to say for yourself?”
Lu Xiong shouted, “Jiang Ziya, you were a Shang minister, and yet you have betrayed your lord in pursuit of glory. You are no gentleman. If one has received his lord’s kindness, one should die for his lord in the hour of need. Now that I have been captured, my only option is to die. No need for more words.”
Jiang Ziya ordered his men to lock up the prisoners for now. He then went back to the terrace and worked his magic once more, dispersing the clouds and bringing back the scorching sun. The ice at the foot of the mountain melted. Of the 50,000 Shang soldiers down there, about 3,000 had frozen to death, and the rest now fled back into Shang territory, sans their commander.
Jiang Ziya then sent the general Nangong Kuo to go invite their lord, the Martial King Ji Fa, to join them. When Nangong Kuo returned to the capital, Ji Fa asked him, “The Minister Father is on Qi Mountain. The weather is scorching, and there’s no shade there. The army must be struggling. Why have you come to see me?”
“I am here on the prime minister’s command to invite you to visit us on Qi Mountain,” Nangong Kuo replied.
So Ji Fa and his officials all set out for Qi Mountain. As they approached the mountain, they saw chunks of ice floating down gullies. Ji Fa asked Nangong Kuo about it, and only now did he learn that Jiang Ziya had frozen the mountain. After traveling a bit farther, they arrived on the mountain and were greeted by Jiang Ziya.
“Minister Father, why have you asked me here?” Ji Fa inquired.
“To offer sacrifice to Qi Mountain,” was Jiang Ziya’s reply.
“It is proper to do so,” Ji Fa said, and so they went up the mountain and Jiang Ziya prepared the sacrificial ceremony. Now, as far as Ji Fa was concerned, he was offering sacrifices to the mountain. But in actuality, this was a sacrificial ceremony to sanctify the newly constructed Terrace of Creation.
When things were ready, Ji Fa took sticks of incense in hand. Jiang Ziya now ordered that the three prisoners be brought out. Wu Ji escorted them out, and Jiang Ziya said, “Execute them at once.”
Moments later, three heads were presented. Ji Fa was stunned. “Minister Father, why are you executing people during a sacrifice to the mountain?”
“Two of those were Fei Zhong and You Hun,” Jiang Ziya said.
“Ah, the wicked officials. Yes, they deserve to be executed,” Ji Fa said, and he completed the ceremony, apparently not bothering to ask who the third guy was. Sacrifice over, Jiang Ziya and Ji Fa returned to the capital.
Meanwhile, back in the Shang capital, Grand Tutor Wen Zhong was reading reports from all corners of the realm. He got one from the South, telling him that his forces had just routed the rebellious Grand Duke of the South in a battle. So hey, finally, some good news! Just then, a report arrived from Sishui Pass. He took one look and stamped his foot, lamenting, “Who knew Jiang Ziya and his gang would be so vicious! They have killed Zhang Guifang and captured Lu Xiong. They are out of control. I want to attack them in person, but the wars in the East and South have yet to abate.”
His disciple Ji (2) Li (4) now said, “Western Qi has great strategists and fierce armies. That’s why neither Zhang Guifang nor the four Daoists from Nine Dragons Island could prevail. You should command the four Mo (1) brothers from Sweet Dreams Pass to attack Western Qi. They will succeed.”
“Yes, only they can rid us of this great evil,” Wen Zhong said. So he sent two generals to Sweet Dreams Pass to take over command and deliver the order for the Mo brothers to attack Western Qi. When the Mo brothers, whose last name means devil by the way, read their orders, they burst out laughing. “The Grand Tutor is a veteran in matters of war. Why is he struggling so much with this? All Western Qi has is Jiang Ziya and Flying Tiger and the like. Isn’t this a little overkill?”
But an order was an order, so they mobilized 100,000 crack troops, handed over command of the pass, and set out at once for Western Qi. After some days, they were approaching the north gate of the city, and the eldest brother, Mo (1) Liqing (4,1), ordered the army to pitch camp.
On the Zhou side, things had been going well since their last victory. Morale was sky-high, and talent was coming from all over to join them. That day, while discussing military affairs, Jiang Ziya got word that the Mo brothers were camped outside his north gate. He assembled the officers to discuss how to repel this latest attack.
Flying Tiger now said, “The Mo brothers received instructions in magic from uncommon masters and are very tough opponents. The eldest, Mo Liqing (4,1), is tall and has the face of a crab and a beard like strings of copper coins. He wields a long spear and fights on foot. He also has a magic sword named Green Cloud Sword. It carries engraved charms of earth, water, fire, and wind. It can summon a dark wind that conceals thousands of swords and spears. Anyone caught in it is instantly cut to pieces. It can also summon a swirl of fire and black smoke that instantly reduces someone to ashes.
“The second brother is Mo Lihong (4,2). He wields a magic umbrella called the Universe Muddling Umbrella. It’s decorated with charms, jade, and pearls. Written on it in pearls are the words ‘Wrap Up Heaven and Earth.’ When this umbrella is opened, it blocks out heaven and earth and hides the sun and the moon. When he twirls the umbrella, the universe shakes.
“The third brother is Mo Lihai (4,3). He wields a spear and carries a lute on his back. The lute has four strings, which correspond to the elements earth, water, fire, and wind. When he strums the lute, it summons wind and fire, just like his brother’s magic sword.
“And then there’s the fourth brother, Mo Lishou (4,4). He wields two short staffs, and he has a creature in his pouch. It looks like a white rat and is called the Spotted Mink. When he unleashes this creature, it sprouts wings and takes to the air and can eat every person in sight. If these four brothers are attacking us, I worry we won’t prevail.”
“Why do you say that, general?” Jiang Ziya asked.
“They used to serve under my command during our campaign in the East Sea District,” Flying Tiger answered. “That’s why I know their skills and must inform you truthfully.”
So, I love that the fourth brother seemingly got the short straw when they were handing out magical items and ended up with a magic weasel that just reminds me of the killer rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. But still, the description of the four brothers’ magic made Jiang Ziya very concerned.
On the other side, Mo Liqing told his three younger brothers, “We are here on the king’s command to wage war against the wicked. We must achieve success within three days, so as not to disappoint Grand Tutor Wen.”
The second brother, Mo Lihong (3,2), said, “Let’s go meet Jiang Ziya tomorrow and crush him, so we may return in triumph.”
So the next day, they led their forces out and demanded to speak with Jiang Ziya. After hearing Flying Tiger’s warning the previous day, however, Jiang Ziya wasn’t so sure about going out to fight. But Nezha and his two brothers said, “Uncle, how can we not fight just because of what General Flying Tiger told us? Heaven’s blessings are with the Zhou. Besides, circumstances change all the time. We can’t just sit and wait.”
So Jiang Ziya ordered his men to march out of the city and line up. Jiang Ziya rode out on the Four-Not-Like and said, “Are you the Mo brothers?”
Mo Liqing, the eldest brother, replied, “Jiang Ziya, instead of staying in your own territory, you are causing unrest, stirring up rebellions, breaking the law, and killing the court’s officials. You are most wicked and are on a path to self-destruction. Now that the heavenly troops have arrived, instead of laying down your arms and presenting your own head, you dare to resist. It will be too late for regrets when we are flattening your city and reducing it to ashes.”
Jiang Ziya, though, said, “Commander, you’re in error. We have been law-abiding. My lord is a vassal of the Shang and was given this territory. So how can you say he’s a traitor? Right now, the court has listened to slander from officials and launched campaigns against Western Qi. As for the defeats, that’s the court bringing humiliation upon itself. Not a single pawn from our side has encroached on your five passes. And yet you have lobbed accusations against us. How can my lord or his vassals take this lying down?”
Mo Liqing was enraged. “How dare you wag your tongue and say that top court officials are humiliating themselves?! Why don’t you give some thought to the fact that your kingdom is about to be wiped out?!”
As he spoke, he strode forward with his spear raised. From the Zhou lines, the general Nangong Kuo galloped out on his horse and shouted, “Don’t you charge at our lines!” As the two of them started to trade blows, the second Mo brother, Mo Lihong (3,2), charged out with halberd in hand, and he was met by the general Xin Jia (3). Then, the third Mo brother Mo Lihai (2,3) came out and started to tangle with Nezha. And finally, the fourth Mo brother, Mo Lishou (3,4), started to fight against Wu (3) Ji (2).
As the four pairs of warriors engaged in a fierce fight, Nezha parried a blow from Mo Lihai and pulled out his Universal Ring and hurled it into the air. But Mo Lihong, the second brother, saw this and quickly stepped back from his fight and pulled out his magic umbrella. He opened the umbrella, and immediately, it sucked up the Universal Ring.
Seeing this, Nezha’s eldest brother Jinzha unleashed his Invisible Dragon Stake, which was quite effective in dispatching their previous foes from Nine Dragons Island. But Mo Lihong opened his umbrella again, and the stake was also sucked up. Jiang Ziya then unleashed his God-Beating Staff, but this too was sucked up by the magic umbrella.
Now that the Zhou side was done throwing their magic toys away, it was the Mo brothers’ turn. The eldest brother, Mo Liqing, leaped back from his fight against Nangong Kuo and waved his magic sword three times. Immediately, a dark wind whipped up, hiding within it countless spears and blades. Mo Lihong, the second brother, gave his umbrella a few twirls, and all the sudden darkness enveloped everything, and fire and smoke descended from the heavens. The third brother Mo Lihai (2,3) started plucking his lute, which added to the blade-laden dark wind that his eldest brother had started. And the fourth brother, Mo Lishou (3,4), released his magic weasel, and it started going all killer rabbit on the enemy.
Assailed by this wave of deadly magic, Jiang Ziya’s troops fell into disarray. Before long, the ground was littered with corpses of men and horses. Jiang Ziya took to the air on his Four-Not-Like to flee. Nezha sped away on his hot wheels, while his two brothers fast-traveled out of dodge. Dragon Beard Tiger dove into the water and swam to safety. And the mortal officers barely got away. In all, more than 10,000 Zhou soldiers were slain. Nine officers were killed, and most of the others were injured. Of the nine slain officers, three were lieutenants, and six were brothers of the Martial King. So, ouch!
While Jiang Ziya and company licked their wounds, the Mo brothers returned to camp in victory and discussed their next move. The second brother suggested, “Tomorrow let’s surround the city and lay siege, and it will fall within days. Jiang Ziya will be captured, and the Martial King will offer up his head.”
So the next day, the Shang forces surrounded the city, advanced all the way to the foot of the wall amid loud roars of battle, and demanded that Jiang Ziya come out and fight. But Jiang Ziya ordered his men to hang up the closed-for-business sign and not engage in combat. So Mo Liqing ordered his troops to start a siege with tall ladders and explosives. Things were looking dire. Jiang Ziya now ordered Nezha and his brothers, Dragon Beard Tiger, and Flying Tiger to lead any officer and soldier who wasn’t injured yesterday to go to the top of the city walls and mount a staunch defense with lime bottles, missiles, fire arrows, and long spears.
The siege went on for three days at all four gates of the city, but the Shang forces could not break through. In fact, they actually were losing some men. So the Mo brothers ordered a temporary retreat and returned to camp. That night, the four brothers discussed amongst themselves and said, “Jiang Ziya is a disciple from Kunlun Mountain. He is skilled at war. We cannot attack by force. We can only surround the city and cut off their food supply and reinforcements. Then, the city will fall on its own before long.”
And so, they settled in for the long game, and before you knew it, two months had passed. The Mo brothers were now starting to get impatient.
“Grand Tutor Wen ordered us to attack Western Qi, and yet it’s been almost three months and we still haven’t defeated the enemy,” Mo Liqing said. “Our army of 100,000 is consuming immense amounts of money and provisions. The Grand Tutor might not look kindly on that. Alright, at 7 p.m. knight, let’s unleash all our magic weapons and destroy Western Qi in one blow, so that we can return to court.”
So that night, the four brothers unleashed their respective magic weapons, and dark clouds immediately gathered, blocking out the sky. All night long, the sound of thunder echoed as if mountains were falling. All the soldiers were frightened as they watched.
The magic show went on until about midnight, and then the Mo brothers returned to camp. The next morning, they were ready to go survey the remnants of the city and then head back home. But lo and behold, the city was still standing. Not only that, it looked perfectly fine. Not even a single blade of grass seemed to have been disturbed. When scouts reported that the city didn’t seem to have taken any damage at all, the Mo brothers were stunned and went to look for themselves. And sure enough, it was as if last night didn’t happen at all.
So, what happened? Well, while the Mo brothers were planning their night attack the previous day, Jiang Ziya was in his office, talking with Flying Tiger about the state of things. Suddenly, a huge wind whipped up and snapped the main flagpole. Jiang Ziya was alarmed and immediately burned some incense and got a gold coin to cast a divination. The result made him turn pale. He immediately bathed, changed, and bowed toward Kunlun Mountain. He then let his hair hang loose and took a sword in hand and began to utter incantations. His play? Oh, nothing short of moving the North Sea over the city to shield it from the coming attack. I don’t know how that actually works or how someone could’ve failed to notice a whole sea hovering over the city, but it worked. And to top it off, Jiang Ziya’s master, Heavenly Primogenitor, had become aware of what was happening, so he helped out by sprinkling a few drops of divine water over the surface of the sea, which I guess increased powers to the shields or something.
In any case, the immediate danger had passed, but Jiang Ziya still had the problem of a huge army encircling the city and strangling its food supply. Two more months had passed, and the stalemate remained. And now, the granary officer came and told Jiang Ziya that they only had 10 days of provisions left.
“The army outside is no matter; the lack of food inside is the big problem,” Jiang Ziya said with alarm. “What should we do?”
Flying Tiger said, “Prime minister, you can post a notice to the residents and ask the wealthy who have excess grain to lend us maybe fifty or sixty thousand bushels. We can repay them with interest after we repel the enemy. This is the only way to solve the immediate problem.”
“No,” Jiang Ziya said. “If I post that announcement, then both the civilians and the army will panic, and trouble will arise from within. We still have 10 days of grain. Let’s figure out something else.”
Welp, eight days passed just like that, and still no solution had presented itself. Jiang Ziya was now fretting big time.
Then, on the ninth day, two young Daoist acolytes showed up at his office, one wearing red and the other blue. When the doorman announced them, Jiang Ziya invited them in, and the two acolytes came in and called him Daoist uncle. Jiang Ziya asked who they were, where they were from, and what they were doing here.
“We are disciples of Master Jade Tripod from the Jade House Cave on Golden Court Mountain,” one of the acolytes said. “My name is Han (2) the Poison Dragon, and my fellow apprentice’s name is Xue (1) the Vicious Tiger. We have come on our master’s instructions to deliver grain for you.”
Oh great, so … umm … where’s the grain, Jiang Ziya asked.
“I have it on me,” Poison Dragon said as he took out a letter and handed it to Jiang Ziya. Jiang Ziya read it and was delighted, saying, “My master had said that when things get dire, talented men will naturally show up to help us. Turns out he’s right!”
But still, umm, where’s the grain?
Poison Dragon now reached into his leopard-skin pouch and took out a large bowl, which was filled with rice. Umm … I guess that’s a fairly large bowl? All the officers looking on were trying to stifle their snickers, but Jiang Ziya now told Poison Dragon, “Deliver it to our granaries, and then report back.”
Moments later, Poison Dragon came back and said, “Done.”
Less than two hours later, the granary officer rushed in and said, “Prime minister, all the granaries are overflowing with rice!”
So, the food problem was now taken care of, but there was still the problem of the four Mo brothers’ powerful magic. And Jiang Ziya still had no answer for that, so he just stayed holed up in the city. Two more months passed, and now the campaign was dragging on close to a year. The Mo brothers had no choice but to write to Grand Tutor Wen to tell him that Jiang Ziya was great at defense, and so the whole project was taking longer than expected.
The stalemate dragged on. And then one day, while Jiang Ziya was discussing military matters with his staff, the doorman reported that a Daoist was outside seeking an audience. Jiang Ziya summoned him in. This man was wearing a coronet headdress, a robe with a silk belt, and a pair of hemp sandals. He kneeled and called Jiang Ziya “Daoist uncle.”
“Who are you?” Jiang Ziya asked.
“My name is Yang (2) Jian (3), and I am a disciple of Jade Tripod,” the young man answered. “My master instructed me to come serve under your command.”
Jiang Ziya was delighted, as this Yang Jian looked like an uncommon character. After meeting all the officers and the Martial King, Yang Jian asked who’s leading the army outside. Jiang Ziya recounted how powerful the Mo brothers were, and Yang Jian told him, “Now that I’m here, please rescind the prohibition on combat. Let me face the Mo brothers and see what they’re about. I can adapt to the situation if it’s not favorable.”
So Jiang Ziya did as he asked, and word soon reached the enemy camp that the Zhou forces were ready to fight. The Mo brothers led their troops out at once to challenge for battle, and Jiang Ziya sent Yang Jian out to face them, with Nezha holding down the lines.
The four Mo brothers, looking as intimidating and vicious as ever, saw that they were met by a lone rider who looked kind of like a Daoist and kind of not, wearing a coronet headdress and silk robe, seated atop a white horse, and holding a long spear.
“Who are you?” Mo Liqing asked.
“I am Yang Jian, Prime Minister Jiang’s Daoist nephew. What skills do you have that you dare to act up here and use your sorcery to harm people? I’ll teach you to know my skills, and you’ll die without a resting place!”
As he spoke, he galloped toward forward with spear raised. The Mo brothers had not fought for a half year, so they were itching for some action. So all four of them stomped out on foot, surrounding Yang Jian. To see how this fight will turn out, tune in to the next episode of the Chinese Lore Podcast. Thanks for listening!
Music in This Episode
- “Sao Meo” by Doug Maxwell / Zac Zinger
- “Ravines” by Elphnt (from YouTube audio library)
- “The Quiet Aftermath by Sir Cubworth (from YouTube audio library)
- “Day of Recon” by Max Surla/Media Right Productions (from YouTube audio library)