Gods 031: Finding A Perch
Flying Tiger and company continue the worst family road trip ever.
Transcript
Welcome to the Chinese Lore Podcast, where I retell classic Chinese stories in English. This is episode 31 of Investiture of the Gods.
Last time, Flying Tiger worked out some family squabbles with his father and convinced the old man to join him on his flight west. Then, they ran into yet another roadblock at Sishui (4,3) Pass, the fifth and final major checkpoint on their way to the kingdom of Zhou (1). One of the generals defending the pass, a sorcerer named Yu (4) Hua (2), refused to let them through, so Flying Tiger decided to settle this with arms, and the two of them started trading blows.
Soon, Flying Tiger’s spear had Yu Hua on his heel, and Yu Hua turned and fled. Flying Tiger gave chase. As he closed in, however, Yu Hua pulled out a secret weapon from under his robe. This was something called the Soul Killing Pennant, which he had obtained from an immortal. I swear, Flying Tiger must be the only guy in this novel who doesn’t have some trick up his sleeve, or under his robe, or in his boot. Anyway, Yu Hua raised the pennant toward the heavens, and immediately a black cloud enveloped Flying Tiger, lifting him up off his saddle, and tossing him down in front of the Yu Hua’s camp, where he was immediately seized by enemy soldiers. Yu Hua then returned to the pass in victory.
When Flying Tiger was brought in front of the pass commander Han (2) Rong (2), he refused to kneel.
“What has the court ever done to you that made you rebel?” Han Rong asked him.
But Flying Tiger simply scoffed and said, “Your kind merely sits around on border checkpoints. You think yourselves important, but you are just foxes pretending to be tigers, using the king’s authority to throw your weight around. How can you know the causes of the chaos at court? Alas, since you’ve caught me, my only fate is death. No need for any more words!”
Han Rong replied, “Since I was appointed to oversee this border checkpoint, I am merely fulfilling my duty in apprehending rebels. Fine, I’m not going to argue with you. Lock him up. Once we’ve captured his accomplices, we will take them to the capital.”
Meanwhile, outside the pass, Flying Tiger’s father, Huang Gun, heard about his son’s capture and lamented, “You idiot. You didn’t listen to your father. What a shame that Han Rong will get the credit for this.”
The next morning, word came that the enemy officer Yu Hua was once again challenging for battle, and this time, the generals Huang Ming and Zhou Ji (2) volunteered to go meet him. They grabbed their axes and rode out to the front line, shouting, “Yu Hua you scoundrel! How can we let you off after you captured our brother?!”
As they spoke, they made straight for Yu Hua, who raised his halberd to fight them. After less than 30 bouts, Yu Hua turned and rode away, and the two generals gave chase. But apparently they learned nothing from Flying Tiger’s folly, because Yu Hua unleashed his magic pennant again and once again easily captured them both. The pass commander Han Rong had these two locked up as well.
Yu Hua now headed back out and challenged for battle again. Huang Gun again asked who would go out to meet him, and this time, his two younger sons volunteered. So they rode out and started trading blows with Yu Hua. After 20 bouts, Yu Hua again turned and ran, and his foes again gave chase, and he again pulled out the magic pennant, and before long, the prison inside Sishui Pass had two more occupants.
Yu Hua now went to challenge for battle again, and this time, he was met by Flying Tiger’s other two generals and sworn brothers, Long (2) Huan (2) and Wu (2) Qian (1). And Yu Hua was the type to just keep doing the same thing over and over until it stops working, and it still hadn’t stopped working yet. Once again, his opponents fell for his routine and were easily captured by his magic pennant. So in a matter of a day and a half, he had captured the enemy’s seven best fighters, earning some wine from his boss Han Rong.
Meanwhile, on the other side, Huang Gun was probably getting exasperated watching one guy after another fall for the exact same trick. And when he looked over at his three grandsons, he couldn’t help but shed a tear and say to them, “You all are no older than 13 or 14. Why must you suffer as well?”
Just then, Yu Hua came back to demand battle yet again. Umm, so who’s left here that can hold a spear? Huang Gun’s middle grandson, Huang Tianlu (1,4), now stepped forth and said, “I will go avenge my father and uncles.”
“Be careful,” Huang Gun told him as he sent the boy out. So Huang Tianlu rode out and started trading blows with Yu Hua. Even though the boy was young, he had learned his father’s craft well. After fighting Yu Hua to a standstill for a while, he suddenly found an opening and stabbed Yu Hua in his left leg. Yu Hua turned and fld in pain. So hey, the kid’s alright … oh no, he’s giving chase. And before you knew it, Yu Hua had pulled the same trick again and captured him as well. The sight of first his brothers and now one of his sons being in jail with him brought Flying Tiger to tears.
Outside the pass, Huang Gun got word that his guys continued to not learn from others’ failures. Like, seriously guys? Nobody thought for a second to try something different, like not giving chase? He was at his wit’s end, as it was down to pretty much himself and two grandsons.
After brooding on the matter for a long time, he suddenly smacked his desk hard and shouted, “Damn it all!” He then issued this order: “Tell our 3,000 soldiers: My grandsons and I likely won’t make it through this alive. But I will offer all the property we have with us to Han Rong, to convince him to let the rest of you through the pass so that you may live.”
But his bodyguards all kneeled and said, “Sir, don’t be troubled. Heaven will help the blessed. There’s no need for this.”
“That Yu Hua is a sorcerer and has powers that I cannot match,” Huang Gun said. “If I allow myself to be captured by him, it would destroy my reputation”
He then looked over at his two remaining grandsons and saw them weeping. He told them, “I don’t know if you will be so lucky, but I shall plead with Han Rong to spare you as well.”
He then removed his helmet, belt, and armor. Dressed in plain garb, he and his two grandsons went straight to Han Rong’s residence to seek an audience.
When Han Rong heard that Huang Gun was outside hoping to chat, he scoffed, “This visit is pointless.” But he nonetheless ordered his guards to line up on both sides and he went out to greet Huang Gun. There, he found the old general on his knees, flanked by his grandsons.
“I, the disgraced officer Huang Gun, pay my respects to you, commander,” Huang Gun said.
“Old general,” Han Rong said, “this is a state matter, not something I would dare to decide on my own. Why have you come here?”
“My family has broken the law and deserve to be punished; there’s no getting out of that,” Huang Gun said. “But there is one reasonable request that I would like to ask of you. Please make an exception and open a door. My sons and I will be eternally grateful even in death.”
“What is it? I am willing to hear you,” Han Rong asked.
“I do not dare to blame my sons for dragging me down with them,” Huang Gun said. “But my family has been loyal to the court for seven generations and we have never failed in our duty. Today, it’s because of an unfortunate calamity that we shall meet our death. It’s most pitiable. I have no choice except to beg you to allow my seven-year-old grandson to pass through, so that something of my clan will survive. Will you allow it?”
“Old general, you’re in error,” Han Rong said. “I have my duties as the commander of this pass. How can I allow a personal request to override my lord’s command? You were a high-ranking officer and enjoyed boundless riches and all the kindness from the state. Instead of repaying that kindness, you followed your sons into rebellion. That is unpardonable for your whole family, including the young. When you are taken to the capital, the court will naturally deliberate your punishment and sort it all out. That is the proper way of doing things; no one dares to deviate from it. Yet you’re asking me to let your grandson go? I would become your collaborator. Where is the rule of law then? I would be punished, too. I cannot consent to it.”
Huang Gun now pleaded some more. “Commander, there are plenty of people from my family who will answer for our transgressions. What is one child? Even if you let him go, what can he accomplish? This is not an unreasonable request. After all, who doesn’t have sympathy? Why must you be so inflexible and refuse to do us one favor? Besides, look at how much service my family has rendered, and yet even we can fall so far. As the old saying goes, ‘If you don’t do anything with the power you have, then it’s like returning empty-handed from a mountain of treasures. Who can be assured that nothing bad will ever befall them? Besides, my family is here because of the injustice done to us, not because we were disloyal. Please take pity and let my grandson go. I will never forget your great virtue.”
But Han Rong remained unmoved. “The only way that’s going to happen is if I turned traitor like you and followed you to Western Qi,” he told Huang Gun.
After repeated pleas fell on deaf ears, Huang Gun became incensed. He turned to his two grandsons and said, “I was a top commander, and yet I lowered myself to beg him. But he refuses to show any compassion. Fine! So we have walked into our doom. There’s nothing to be afraid of!”
So off to prison they went, and when Flying Tiger saw that it was now a full family reunion behind bars, he couldn’t help but weep, telling Huang Gun, “Who knew that it would turn out just as you had predicted. I am the most unfilial son in the world!”
“With things as they are, it’s too late for regrets,” Huang Gun said. “Back when I told you how you could spare my life, you refused to listen, so what’s the point of worrying about it now?”
Umm, really dad? You turned yourself in just so you could come to jail and do the “I told you so” schtick? Things were definitely not looking up for Flying Tiger.
Meanwhile, Han Rong threw a huge party to celebrate the capture of the entire Huang family, not to mention the confiscation of all their property. As they were drinking, Han Rong asked his officers who would escort the prisoners back to the capital. Yu Hua volunteered, much to Han Rong’s delight. The next morning, a convoy of 3,000 soldiers escorted 11 prisoner carts toward the capital. On their way, they passed through Border Tablet Pass, Huang Gun’s old command. When they passed the commander’s compound, Huang Gun couldn’t help but shed a tear over how far he had fallen. And the civilians and soldiers in the pass came out to watch, and they all wept over the fate of the old general and his family.
Meanwhile, on a mountain faraway in the Golden Light Cave, the Daoist master Fairy Primordial, aka the master of Lotus Boy Nezha, suddenly felt a disturbance in the force. He reached into his sleeve and did a little quick divination, and immediately told his acolyte to summon Nezha.
So, it’s been a while since we saw Lotus Boy. The last we left him, he had made peace with his father Li (3) Jing (4) on the threat of having a magical pagoda dropped on him repeatedly if he didn’t. Since then, he’s been hanging out at his master’s cave, waiting for the time to come when his services would be needed, and that time had come.
“Flying Tiger and his family are in trouble,” Fairy Primordial said. “Go save them and see them through Sishui Pass. But then hurry back without delay. In the future, you and he will serve the same lord.”
Nezha had been itching for some action, so this was the perfect assignment. He quickly gathered his things, grabbed his fiery spear, and hopped on his wind-and-fire wheels and flew through the clouds. He soon landed on a ridge near Sishui Pass, but all was quiet. So he stood around and waited for a long time before he saw an army approaching with banners flapping and weapons gleaming.
“Hmm, I can’t just attack them without provocation,” Nezha thought to himself. “I have to find a reason.”
And then, a reason came to him. He started singing, “I am eternal. To me the years are meaningless. I fear none but my master. Yesterday the heavenly lord passed through here, and even he had to give me a gold brick.”
And then, Nezha planted himself right in the middle of the road, blocking the army’s path. Scouts quickly reported to the convoy officer Yu Hua that there’s some tall kid standing on hot wheels blocking the way. Yu Ha rode up and asked Nezha who he was.
“I am a longtime resident of this place,” Nezha answered. “Anyone who passes through here, be they officials or kings, must pay a toll. Where are you going? Hurry up and pay your toll, and you can be on your way!”
Umm, so this is your idea of concocting a good excuse to attack? Pretending to rob them? Well, Yu Hua was predictably nonplussed. He laughed and said, “I am Yu Hua, a top officer under Commander Han Rong of Sishui Pass. I am escorting the rebel Flying Tiger and his gang to court to claim my reward. How dare you block my path?! And sing?! Leave right now, and I’ll spare your life.”
“Ahh, so you’re an officer who’s rendered service for the court,” Nezha said. “Well, in that case, you owe me 10 golden bricks before you can pass.”
Yu Hua got mad over that insolence, so he galloped toward Nezha with halberd raised. Of course, remember that Nezha was essentially half immortal at this point, and he soon had Yu Hua turning and fleeing. Nezha gave chase, and Yu Hua quickly pulled out his magic pennant again. But Nezha just chuckled and said, “What’s the big deal?”
As the black cloud began to envelope him, Nezha simply reached out and seized the pennant and shoved into his leopard-skin pouch. He then shouted to Yu Hua, “Hey, you’ve got any other tricks you want to show me?”
Seeing that his go-to move had been foiled, Yu Hua now turned around to resume the hand-to-hand combat. But Nezha was mindful that his master had sent him here to rescue Flying Tiger and company, and he was worried that Yu Hua might try to kill them if he saw that he wasn’t going to win the fight. So while he raised the spear with his left hand to parry Yu Hua’s attack, he reached into his pocket with his right hand and pulled out a gold brick and hurled it into the air, shouting, “Strike!”
The brick sailed skyward and then came crashing down, striking Yu Hua on his forehead. Yu Hua was so shaken that he leaned on his saddle and coughed up blood as he fled, dragging his halberd behind him. Nezha gave chase for a bit, but then thought to himself, “My master ordered me to come save the Huang family. I mustn’t botch the main mission by giving chase.”
So he turned around and hurled another golden brick into the air, and this one started pelting the remaining soldiers and sent them fleeing for their lives as well. Nezha then went over to the prisoner carts and asked, “Which one of you is General Huang?”
Flying Tiger spoke up and asked who he was. Nezha introduced himself and explained why he was there, and Flying Tiger was ecstatic. Nezha now smashed open the carts and released all 11 prisoners, and Flying Tiger kowtowed to offer his thanks.
“Generals, take care on your journey,” Nezha said. “Let me go take Sishui Pass for you so you may pass through.”
So he headed off, with 11 riled-up warriors following behind, all wielding weapons.
Meanwhile, back at Sishui Pass, the commander Han Rong was celebrating with his staff when he suddenly got word that Yu Hua had returned.
“Back so soon? Something must have gone wrong,” an alarmed Han Rong said. He summoned Yu Hua, who recounted what happened and let him know that all the prisoners had escaped. Han Rong stamped his foot and lamented, “All our hard work, and those rebels still got away. When the king finds out, how would we escape punishment?”
His officers tried to console him, telling him, “Flying Tiger still can’t go forward or fall back. you should mobilize your forces and keep up a tight defense at the pass so that they can’t escape.”
Just then, scouts came in and said, “There’s someone outside riding on two wheels, showing off his skills and demanding to see General Yu Hua.”
“That must be the guy who attacked me,” Yu Hua said.
Han Rong quickly led his officers out of the pass. When Nezha saw them come out, he shouted, “Tell Yu Hua to come out and answer to me.”
“Who are you?” Han Rong said as he rode forward.
“I am none other than Nezha, a disciple of Fairy Primordial. I came on my master’s command to rescue the Huang family. I ran into Yu Hua just now and had not yet killed him, so I’ve come to finish the job.”
Han Rong scoffed, “How dare you come show off after abducting a convoy of prisoners of the court?! You’re so despicable!”
But Nezha shot back, “The Shang’s time is up, and a sage lord has emerged from Western Qi. The Huang family will be one of the pillars of the Zhou kingdom. This is in accordance with heaven’s omens. Why do you oppose heaven’s will? You’re asking for trouble!”
Han Rong grew incensed and rode out to attack Nezha. After just a few exchanges, Han Rong’s officers all swarmed in to encircle Nezha. But Nezha was like, “Oh please. You non-lotus-based life forms are so adorable.” As his spear flashed, one enemy after another fell off their horse, and soon, all the officers were running for their lives, leaving only Han Rong to fend for himself.
Just then, Flying Tiger’s four generals and two younger brothers all showed up and threw themselves into the fight, determined to capture Han Rong to avenge their prior defeats. Now, Yu Hua had no choice but to ride out and help his commander, and the two sides engaged in a scrum.
Amid the fighting, Nezha threw one of his gold bricks, and it smacked Han Rong right on his chest, smashing the protective plate to smithereens and sending Han Rong on the run for his life. Seeing this, Yu Hua shouted, “Nezha, don’t harm my master!” as he charged in to take up the fight. After just a few bouts, however, Nezha parried Yu Hua’s halberd, pulled out his magical bracelet, the Universal Ring, and chucked it at Yu Hua. It hit Yu Hua on the arm, fracturing the bone and almost knocking him off his ride. Yu Hua now fled toward the Northeast, and Nezha seized Sishui Pass, while the Huang family’s warriors put the rest of the enemy to flight.
The next day, Flying Tiger and his father showed up with the rest of the entourage. They cleaned out all the valuables from Han Rong’s residence and added them to their own property. They then left the pass and headed into the territory of Western Qi. Nezha saw them all the way to Golden Rooster Peak before taking his leave.
Flying Tiger and his men all thanked Nezha profusely, telling him, “We never could have expected that you would come to our rescue. We don’t know when we will get to glimpse your visage again, but we will do all we can to repay you.”
“Generals, take care on your journey,” Nezha said. “I will soon head to Western Qi as well, so we shall meet again.”
And then, they parted ways, with Nezha headed back to his master’s cave while Flying Tiger and his entourage continued to head west. After traversing several more peaks over the next few days, they arrived at Western Qi Mountain, and they were only about 25 miles away from the Zhou capital. Flying Tiger now ordered the men to pitch camp. He told his father, “I’m going to go on ahead to see Prime Minister Jiang Ziya. If they’re willing to take us in, then we can enter the city. But if not, we’ll figure out something else.”
So Flying Tiger put on a simple white robe and rode on ahead by himself. Along the way, he was quite taken by the beautiful scenery, and how courteous everyone was and how prosperous everything looked. He couldn’t help but sigh and say, “People say Western Qi is a paradise. Turns out its people really do live in peace and prosperity, like in the golden age of ancient sage kings.”
Upon entering the Zhou capital, Flying Tiger asked around for Jiang Ziya’s residence, and some civilians pointed out the way. When he found the place, he asked the reception official to relay that Flying Tiger from the Shang capital was seeking an audience. The official struck the signal board to request the prime minister’s presence. When Jiang Ziya came out from the palace, the reception official relayed the message, and Jiang Ziya said, “Flying Tiger is a high lord of the Shang. What brings him here?”
So Jiang Ziya went out to greet his visitor in full court attire. Flying Tiger kowtowed to him, and Jiang Ziya returned the courtesy, saying, “My lord. Pardon me for not welcoming you sooner.”
Flying Tiger now said, “I am a refugee. I have abandoned the Shang to come join the Zhou. I am like a bird that has lost its forest. I hope you will lend me a branch to perch on. If you can take me in, I would be immensely grateful.”
Jiang Ziya hurriedly helped him up and asked him to sit down as an honored guest.
“I am but a traitor from the Shang; how would I dare to sit next to you?” Flying Tiger said.
“My lord, you’re going too far,” Jiang Ziya replied. “Even though I have become the prime minister here, I used to be under your supervision. There’s no need for such modesty.”
When Flying Tiger finally sat down, Jiang Ziya asked why he had abandoned the Shang, and Flying Tiger recounted the disastrous string of events that led to his rebellion. Jiang Ziya was delighted and said, “If you’re willing to join us and help build our enterprise, it would be the Martial King’s great fortune. Of course he would take you in. Please rest for a bit, and then you can go to court to see his highness.”
While Flying Tiger went to the guest house to rest, Jiang Ziya rode to the palace and went to see the Martial King, Ji Fa, and told him, “My lord, 10,000 congratulations! Lord Flying Tiger of the Shang court has abandoned King Zhou to come serve you. This is a great omen for our state.”
“Is he a member of the Shang royal house?” Ji Fa asked.
“Indeed,” Jiang Ziya replied. “And your father had said that he once benefited tremendously from Flying Tiger’s kindness. So now that he’s here to join us, we must treat him with courtesy.”
So Ji Fa issued a decree, inviting Flying Tiger to court for an audience. Flying Tiger entered and kowtowed to pay his respects. Ji Fa returned his courtesy and said, “I have long admired your valor, honor, kindness, and virtue, which are known throughout the land. You’re a truly loyal gentleman. It’s my great fortune to get to meet you.”
Flying Tiger remained kneeling and said, “Thank you my lord for lifting my entire family out of calamity and danger. How can I not do my utmost to repay you?”
“What was your title in the Shang court?” Ji Fa asked.
“I was the Martial Lord who Protected the Kingdom.”
“Well then, I shall bestow upon you a lordship that only differs by one character,” Ji Fa said. “You will be the Martial Lord who Establishes the Kingdom.”
Flying Tiger thanked Ji Fa, and then they got down to partying to celebrate. During the banquet, Flying Tiger recounted all the misdeeds that King Zhou had committed, and Ji Fa said, “Even though the king wasn’t just, you as the vassal still fulfilled your duty to the utmost.”
Ji Fa then asked Jiang Ziya to oversee construction of a residence for Flying Tiger. The next day, Flying Tiger informed Ji Fa that the rest of his entourage were still waiting on Western Qi Mountain for permission to enter the capital, and Ji Fa immediately asked him to bring them all into the city and that all the officers would receive ranks matching their former positions.
So Flying Tiger and his crew have found a new home in the kingdom of Zhou. To see what the fallout will be when this news gets back to the Shang court, tune in to the next episode of the Chinese Lore Podcast. Thanks for listening!
Music in This Episode
- “Sao Meo” by Doug Maxwell / Zac Zinger
- “Ravines” by Elphnt (from YouTube audio library)
- “The Quiet Aftermath by Sir Cubworth (from YouTube audio library)
- “Dark Toys” by SYBS (from YouTube audio library)