Gods 019: Monkey Business

An alleged simian assassination attempt is only a minor part of the insanity at court this week.

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Transcript

Welcome to the Chinese Lore Podcast, where I retell classic Chinese stories in English. This is episode 19 of Investiture of the Gods. 

Last time, Bo (2) Yikao (4,3), the eldest son of Ji (1) Chang (1), the Grand Duke of the West, had gone to the Shang capital in hopes of buying his father’s freedom by presenting King Zhou with some family heirlooms. He met the Second Minister Bi (3) Gan (4) outside the palace and told him of his intentions. Bi Gan asked him what heirlooms he had brought, and Bo Yikao told him:

“I brought the Seven Fragrance Carriage. It was handed down from the time of the Yellow Emperor, and that ancient sage king rode this carriage in his victory over his foe. It will go wherever its rider desires, all without anyone to drive it. Another treasure is the Sobriety Carpet. Anyone who is drunk just needs to lie down on it and they will sober up momentarily. I also brought the white-faced monkey. Even though he’s an animal, he knows how to play 3,000 folk songs and 800 classical pieces. He can sing at banquets and dance gracefully upon one’s palm.”

Bi Gan told him, “Those treasures may be wonderful, but his majesty has lost his way. If you give him these objects for his amusement, you would be adding to his temptations and plunging the court deeper into chaos. Alas, on account of your sincere filial piety, I will convey your request to the king, so that you would not have come in vain.”

So Bi Gan went to the Star-Picking Tower and requested an audience with the king. King Zhou summoned him up to the tower and asked him what business he had. 

“Bo Yikao, son of the Grand Duke of the West, has come to offer tribute to atone for his father’s offense,” Bi Gan said.

“What gifts is he offering?” King Zhou asked.

Bi Gan described the three treasures and mentioned that Bo Yikao was also presenting 10 beauties to boot. So King Zhou said sure, send him in. Bo Yikao ascended the tower and approached the king on his knees, declaring, “Bo Yikao, son of a criminal official, pays his respects.”

King Zhou said, “Ji Chang committed a grave offense and insulted me. But you are truly filial in coming to offer tribute to atone for his crime.”

“Ji Chang insulted your majesty, but you have generously spared his life and sent him to reside temporarily in the town of Youli (2,3). We are touched by your immense kindness and virtue. Today, I foolishly risk my life to petition your majesty to allow me to serve my father’s sentence. I pray that you can exercise compassion, give us a second life, allow us to return home so that we may reunite with our families. We would be immensely grateful to your majesty for such an unexpected act of virtue.”

King Zhou was touched by Bo Yikao’s show of filial piety, so he told Bo Yikao to get up. Bo Yikao thanked him and stood outside the railings around the court. While he stood there, the vixen Daji spotted him from behind the curtain. She noticed his handsome features and ordered her maids to raise her curtain. 

When she walked out into the court, King Zhou told her, “My wife, Bo Yikao, the son of the Grand Duke of the West, has come to beg for forgiveness for his father. He deserves some pity.”

Daji said, “I have heard that Bo Yikao’s skills with the zither are unmatched.”

“How do you know that?” the king wondered.

“I may be a woman, but when I was young I had heard my parents say that Bo Yikao is well versed in musical theory and even more skilled in playing the zither, that he is an expert in classical compositions. You can tell him to perform a piece so that you can see for yourself.”

King Zhou was always up for some entertainment, so he summoned Bo Yikao and introduced him to Daji, and Bo Yikao greeted her respectfully. Daji then asked him to play something.

“Your highness,” Bo Yikao said to her, “I have heard that when one’s parents are sick, one cannot even eat or sleep in peace. My father has been imprisoned for seven years and has endured much suffering. How can I bear to make merry and play music? And in my present state of mind, how would I dare to insult his majesty with my playing?”

King Zhou, however, told him, “Just use the present scene as inspiration and play something. If you’re good, then I will let you and your father return to your state.”

That gave Bo Yikao plenty of motivation, so he thanked the king and agreed to play. King Zhou told his attendants to fetch a zither. Bo Yikao sat on the floor in a kneeling position and put the zither in his lap. He then started strumming a tune called “Breeze in the Pine Forest.” It was indeed an enchanting performance, as the notes fell like the tinkling of jade and pearls one moment, and like the rustling of pines in a secluded gorge the next. Everyone felt cleansed and uplifted as though they had visited paradise and heard its heavenly music.

When Bo Yikao was done playing, King Zhou said to Daji, “What you heard was true. Bo Yikao’s music is perfect.”

“Everyone has heard about his music,” Daji said. “But having seen him in person today, I can see that he exceeds even his reputation.”

King Zhou was in a good mood, so he held a feast on the tower. During the feast, Daji kept stealing glances at Bo Yikao’s handsome face, which was far superior to that of the king. Soon, her mind started turning, and an idea came to her.

“Your majesty should allow the Grand Duke of the West and his son to return to their state,” she told the king. “That would be an act of kindness on your behalf. But if Bo Yikao goes home, the court would be robbed of his heavenly music. What a pity that would be.”

“But what can be done about it?” King Zhou asked.

“I’ve got an idea for you to have it both ways,” Daji said. “You can keep Bo Yikao here to teach me how to play the zither. Once I have learned it, then I can play for you day and night and you will always enjoy heavenly music. That will allow the Grand Duke of the West to enjoy your kindness in letting him go, and it will ensure the court will never run out of great music.”

King Zhou put his hand on her back and said, “My darling. You are truly clever. This is a perfect solution.”

He then decreed that Bo Yikao would remain at the tower to teach the queen how to play the zither. That, of course, pleased Daji immensely. She thought to herself, “Let me get the king nice and drunk so he’ll go to sleep. And then I can make my move on Bo Yikao.”

So she immediately ordered another feast to be held. She raised a golden cup and offered one toast after another to the king, who just chugged without any suspicion. Soon, King Zhou was passed out drunk, and Daji ordered the servants to help him to bed. And then, she told Bo Yikao that the … lessons … could begin.

The attendants brought out two zithers, one for each of them. Bo Yikao then began explaining the ins and outs of the instrument. Then he started to play, and it was just as divine as before. The whole time, though, Daji was less interested in music lessons and more occupied with throwing come-hither glances at her instructor. Bo Yikao, however, was absolutely not in the mood for that kind of shenanigans. He had come to the capital with one purpose and one purpose only — to gain his father’s freedom. Even as the queen did her thing, he remained completely focused on his zither, casting not so much as a single sideway glance. 

After this went on for a while, Daji said, “It’s hard to learn this instrument all at once.” She then told the attendants to set up another feast. Once the tables were set, she told Bo Yikao, hey why don’t you come sit next to me.

Bo Yikao quickly kneeled and said, “I am the son of a criminal official. I am grateful for your kindness in not executing me and giving me a new lease on life. Your virtue is as immense as the mountains and the seas. You’re truly the mother of the nation. How would I dare to sit next to you?”

As he remained on his knees, not even daring to lift his head, Daji told him, “You’re mistaken. Sure, as an official, you cannot sit next to me. But as my music instructor, it’s ok.”

When he heard that, Bo Yikao thought to himself, “That whore is trying to plunge me into the ranks of the disloyal, the unfilial, the unvirtuous, the inhumane, the improper, the dishonorable, the unintelligent, and the unkind. My family has been loyal officials for dozens of generations. Today, for my father’s sake, I stumbled into this trap. Who knew that Daji would commit such wanton acts of disrespect to her lord. It damages the conduct of the court and humiliates the king. It’s no minor offense. I would rather die a death of 10,000 cuts than go along with this. Otherwise, how can I face my ancestors in the underworld?”

While he was lost in his thoughts, Daji saw that he was still kneeling in silence and refusing to submit to her entreaties. So she decided to up her game. She told the attendants to clear the table and told Bo Yikao to stand, telling him, “Since you refuse to drink, then let’s get back to the lesson.”

Bo Yikao now resumed playing the zither. After he played for a while, Daji suddenly said, “We are seated too far apart. I can’t see your technique clearly. How can I get good this way? I have an idea. We can sit a little closer together and then play.”

“Your highness, there is no need to be impatient. Just take your time and learn it at your own pace,” Bo Yikao replied.

“No, that won’t do.” Daji retorted. “If I don’t learn the technique by heart tonight, how can I answer to the king tomorrow? It would be most inconvenient. How about you come sit in my seat, and I’ll sit in your lap, and then you can hold my hands and guide them. Then I will learn it in no time.”

That suggestion scared Bo Yikao out of his mind, but then he collected himself and thought, “Alas, it must be preordained. I cannot escape. I would rather die a just death so that I don’t squander my father’s teachings. I must admonish her honestly and accept my death.”

So he now said to Daji sternly, “What kind of dog does your highness take me for? If the court historian records this episode in the annals, what would posterity think of you? You are mother to the country. You are respected by nobles and commoners alike, and honored as the head of the fairer sex in the palace. It is most indecorous for you to lower yourself to such an extent in the guise of learning the zither. If this gets out, even if you are as clean as ice and as pure as jade, how can the realm still have any faith in you? Please do not be so impatient. It does a disservice to your honor.”

That admonishment made Daji’s whole face turn red from embarrassment and left her speechless. So she just commanded Bo Yikao to leave for now. So he descended the tower and returned to his guest house.

Once he was gone, Daji seethed. “That scoundrel! How dare he disrespect me so?! I opened my heart to the moon. Who knew that the moon would insist on casting its rays into the gutter. Fine, I won’t be satisfied until he is ground to dust!”

For now, she had no choice but to lie down in bed with the king. The next morning, he woke up and asked her how her zither lessons went. 

“Your majesty, that Bo Yikao’s mind wasn’t on teaching me to play the zither. He tried to flirt with me. It was totally inappropriate, but I had no choice but to humor him.”

The king flew into a rage, jumped out of bed, and summoned Bo Yikao to the tower. Bo Yikao ascended the tower and kneeled, and the king asked him, “Why did you not dedicate yourself fully to teaching the queen how to play the zither?”

“To learn the zither well, one must be wholly committed,” Bo Yikao replied.

Daji cut in and scoffed, “There’s nothing to it. If you would teach it competently, how could I have not learned it well? It’s all because you did a shoddy job teaching me that I haven’t picked it up.”

Well, King Zhou felt like he didn’t really want to broach her accusations about last night, so instead, he asked Bo Yikao to play another song. Bo Yikao complied and sat down with the zither in his lap. He thought to himself, “Why don’t I use the music to offer a critique?”

And so he started to pluck the strings, and as the king listened, he could detect only a sense of unwavering loyalty and not a trace of slander, which left him no excuse to lower the hammer on Bo Yikao. Detecting his hesitance, Daji told him, “Bo Yikao had presented to you a white-faced monkey that is skilled at singing. Has your highness heard it perform yet?”

“We were occupied with listening to the zither last night, so I haven’t had a chance,” King Zhou said. “Why don’t we bring it here and have it perform a song?”

So Bo Yikao returned to the guest house, fetched this magical singing monkey, and returned to the tower. He released the monkey from its red cage and handed it a set of clappers. The monkey started beating out a rhythm with the clappers and began to sing. The tower was soon echoing with a sweet sound, with high notes that sounded like the song of a phoenix and low notes that mirrored the call of mandarin ducks. It was so beautiful that it could make a troubled soul unfurrow his brows, make a happy soul clap his hand, make a sorrowful soul dry his tears, and make a wise soul lose his senses. Every one, from the king and queen to the servants, were touched by this monkey’s divine voice. Even Daji was so intoxicated that she nearly reverted to her real form.

As it turns out, this monkey was a creature that cultivated its dao for a thousand years. Not only could it sing beautifully, it could also tell demons from humans. With Daji losing control over her magic, when the monkey looked over at her, all it could see was a fox. And apparently, even though this was a magical singing monkey, it was still an animal, with animal instincts. When it saw a fox present, its lizard brain kicked in, and it threw its clappers to the floor, leaped toward Daji, and took a swat at her. She quickly ducked behind the king, and before the monkey could turn around, King Zhou had punched it squarely in the face, and the monkey dropped dead to the ground.

“Bo Yikao obviously instructed the monkey to assassinate me,” Daji said as she was helped to her feet by servants. “If your highness had not saved me, I would be dead.”

King Zhou was fuming, and he barked, “Arrest Bo Yikao and throw him into the Serpents’ Pit!”

As the guards seized him, Bo Yikao kept shouting that he was innocent. That gave King Zhou some pause and he told the guards to bring Bo Yikao back for a second.

“You scoundrel,” the king said. “Everyone saw that monkey try to assassinate the queen. How can you protest your innocence?!”

Bo Yikao wept and said, “The monkey is an animal. Even though it learned human speech, it had not lost its animal instincts. Monkeys love fruits, and this one saw all the fruits on the tables. It was going for the fruit platter. It didn’t have anything sharp, so how could it assassinate anyone? I have received much kindness from your majesty. How would I dare to do such a thing? Please investigate this matter carefully. I would die in peace.”

Hearing that, the king thought for a long while, and suddenly turned from rage to delight. He said to Daji, “Bo Yikao is correct. The monkey was just an animal after all. It was just acting on instinct. And it didn’t have anything to kill you with.”

And so, the king ordered his men to release Bo Yikao, who thanked him for his kindness. But now, Daji chimed in and told the king, “Since you have spared Bo Yikao, you should have him play another song. If the song truly conveys his loyalty, then all’s well. But if it contains any disrespectful undertones, you must not spare him.”

“That’s a great suggestion,” King Zhou said.

Hearing this, Bo Yikao thought to himself, “I will not be able to escape this trap. Fine, I’ll forfeit my life and admonish the king. Even though I will die a painful death, I will leave a good name, and the history books will bear witness to my loyalty.”

So, he sat down, picked up the zither, and started to played a song that conveyed the following:

A good king is always virtuous,

Never will he use cruel torture.

Hot pillars turn flesh to ashes,

While serpents devour intestines.

The Wine Sea’s full of human blood,

The Meat Forest is hung with corpses.

Women’s looms are empty,

But the Happy Terrace is full.

Men’s plows are broken,

Yet royal granaries rot.

May the king expel minions,

And restore peace to the nation.

Now, King Zhou was kinda slow on the uptake and did not pick up the intended undertone. But Daji, being a wiley demon, knew exactly what Bo Yikao was getting at. She pointed at him and cursed, “How dare you! Your tune was clearly insulting our lord. How despicable! You are truly wicked! You must not be spared!”

King Zhou asked her what the meaning of the tune was, and when she explained it, he flew into a rage and barked for the guards to arrest Bo Yikao once again. But Bo Yikao quickly said, “I still have one final verse. Allow me to finish.”

And so he played his last tune, and it said:

May the king keep from lust,

And abandon that queen, if only 

For the nation’s sake.

When the evil’s gone,

The nobles will gladly submit.

When lust is cleansed, 

The kingdom will live in peace.

I dread not a cruel death,

But eliminate Daji

To clear your name.

As he plucked his final note, Bo Yikao flung the zither toward the royal table. It sent dishes flying everywhere, and Daji fell to the ground, barely getting out of hte way. 

“How dare you, you scoundrel!” King Zhou fumed. “You were able to talk your way out of your monkey’s assassination attempt. But now, you were clearly trying to assassinate the queen with your zither. There is no mercy for you!”

He turned the guards and barked, “Take him down the tower and throw him into the Serpents’ Pit!”

But Daji called out, “Just have him taken down below. I will deal with him.”

The king obliged her, and his men dragged Bo Yikao down to the foot of the tower, with Daji following behind.

Later that day, in the nearby town of Youli (2,3), Ji Chang, the Grand Duke of the West, was whiling away his day like he had been doing for the last seven years of his house arrest. He was bored and started playing on his zither. Suddenly, he found himself playing a tune that had an ominous undertone. 

“Where did this come from?” he thought to himself in shock. He immediately stopped, grabbed a gold coin, and used it to cast a divination. When he read the results, tears began to flow down his face. He did all he could to choke back his sobs. His servants noticed it, but didn’t know why he was acting so strangely all of a sudden.

Just then, an envoy from King Zhou arrived with a decree. Ji Chang quickly changed into plain garments to receive the royal edict. The envoy placed a box on the table and said, “My lord, his majesty pities how long you have been here. Yesterday, he went hunting and shot a deer. So he is sending you these venison buns.”

Ji Chang kneeled, opened the box, and said, “His majesty has gone through so much trouble to bestow upon me the privilege of enjoying these venison buns. Long live the king!”

After bowing to give thanks to the king, Ji Chang ate three buns and closed the box. He then turned to the envoy and said, “Sir, as a criminal official, I cannot thank his highness in person. Please relay my gratitude.”

As he spoke, Ji Chang kneeled and declared, “May the light of his majesty’s benevolence shine upon this town again.”

After that, the envoy left. From that day forth, Ji Chang fell into a melancholy and neither ate nor slept well.

More time passed, and one day a strange gale suddenly swept through Ji Chang’s residence, blowing two roof tiles to the ground, where they were smashed to smithereens. Taken aback, Ji Chang burned some incense and cast another divination. After a moment, he nodded and sighed, “Today, the king will release me.”

He then told his men, “An edict is coming. Start packing.”

His men were understandably skeptical, but sure enough, moments later an envoy arrived with a decree, informing Ji Chang that the king was letting him go home. Ji Chang kneeled and bowed to the north to thank the king, and then left his residence. As he exited the town, the streets were lined with civilians old and young, all carrying wine and sheep. 

They kneeled by the side of the road and said, “My lord, today the dragon has found its cloud, the phoenix has descended, the tiger has climbed to the peak of the mountain, and the crane has landed on the pine tree. For seven years, you have guided us. Because of you, the old and young understand loyalty and filial piety. The women understand chastity. All of our conduct has been proper. We are all immensely grateful to you. Once we part today, we will never again receive your benevolence.”

As the civilians wept, so, too, did Ji Chang. He told them, “I have been imprisoned here for seven years and have not done anything for you. And yet you are going to such lengths to see me off. I hope you will remember my teachings. If you do so, everything will be fine, and you will enjoy peace and prosperity.”

As they wept, the residents of the town saw him off for three miles before bidding him a teary farewell. Ji Chang arrived at the palace the next day, where he was met by Bi (3) Gan (4), Huang the Flying Tiger and six other top ministers who were his allies at court. He bowed and thanked them for whatever they did to win him his freedom. They were delighted to see him, especially when they saw that he actually looked better than he did seven years ago.

Ji Chang now was summoned into the main hall. There, clad in plain clothes, he kneeled and said to the king, “I deserve death. But you have generously spared me. Even if I were reduced to powder, all my remaining years are the result of your benevolence. Long live your majesty!”

King Zhou told him, “You were imprisoned for seven years, and yet you never uttered an ill word about me. Instead, you have been praying for peace and prosperity for my realm. It’s clear that you are loyal. I have done you wrong. Today, I am pardoning you and appointing you the chief of all the dukes, authorized to undertake military operations in times of need. I bestow upon you the yak tail pennant and the yellow ax. I shall crown you prince and increase your monthly allowance of rice by 1,000 piculs. Before you return home in honor, I will hold a banquet for you at the Dragon Virtue Court and grant you the privilege of parading in the streets for three days.”

Ji Chang thanked the king once more. He then went and changed into court attire, and all the officials congratulated him. A feast then commenced at the Dragon Virtue Court. Almost all the court officials were delighted at Ji Chang finally receiving his freedom, and they all partied to their hearts’ content. After that, Ji Chang thanked the king, left the court, and began his three days of parading through the streets, where he was greeted by all the residents of the capital, who all rejoiced at his good fortune. 

Around noon on the second day of his parade, Ji Chang was met in the streets by an armed entourage. He asked who they were, and was told that they were escorting Huang the Flying Tiger. Ji Chang quickly dismounted and greeted Flying Tiger, who did likewise. After exchanging some courtesies, Flying Tiger said, “My lord, I have a minor piece of advice. Will you hear me?”

“I beg your guidance,” Ji Chang said.

“My residence is not far from here,” Flying Tiger said. “Please join me there for a cup of wine.”

To find out what advice Flying Tiger has for Ji Chang, and the reason behind King Zhou’s sudden change of heart, tune in to the next episode of the Chinese Lore Podcast. Thanks for listening!

Music in This Episode

• “Sao Meo” by Doug Maxwell / Zac Zinger
• “The Quiet Aftermath by Sir Cubworth (from YouTube audio library)
• “Ravines” by Elphnt (from YouTube audio library)
• “Dark Toys” by SYBS (from YouTube audio library)