Gods 059: Plowed Under
Jiang Ziya is finally ready to head East to dethrone the Shang, but then his king goes, “Wait, can’t we all just get along?”
Transcript
Welcome to the Chinese Lore Podcast, where I retell classic Chinese stories in English. This is episode 59 of Investiture of the Gods.
Last time, the Chan sect’s masters had gathered four magical flags to set a trap for their prodigal disciple Yin Jiao. With his camp destroyed and having been turned back from three directions, Yin Jiao now charged right at Jiang Ziya and the Martial King Ji Fa. After trading a few blows with Jiang Ziya, Yin Jiao again tried to use his Sky Churning Seal, but Jiang Ziya had with him one of the magical pennants, the Immortal Gathering Flag. He unfurled it, and just like the other magic flags, it kept the seal spinning harmlessly in the air.
Seeing that his seal had again been neutered and that Jiang Ziya was about to unleash his God-Beating Staff, Yin Jiao quickly retrieved his seal and fled toward the north. Watching him go in that direction, Master Burning Lamp summoned a clap of thunder, which was accompanied by the drums, gongs, and shouts of battle, all of which sent Yin Jiao fleeing even harder toward the north.
After a while, Yin Jiao found the path forward increasingly narrow, so he had to dismount and proceed on foot. As the sound of pursuing armies drew closer from the rear, Yin Jiao prayed to heaven and said, “If my father is still destined to hold on to his realm, let my seal open a path through this mountain so that the bloodline of the Shang can continue. Otherwise, I am doomed.”
He then hurled his seal toward the mountain ahead, and with a loud rumble, the seal opened a path through the mountain. Yin Jiao was ecstatic. “Looks like the Shang’s reign is not done yet!” he exclaimed as he rushed forward.
But suddenly, he heard the sound of an explosive and saw enemy troops sweeping up the mountain while Burning Lamp was closing in from behind. Surrounded, Yin Jiao quickly fast-traveled upward via the earth element. Just as his head was emerging at the tip of the mountain, Burning Lamp clapped his hands together, and the two peaks of the mountain closed up in an instant, trapping Yin Jiao with just his head popping out.
All the pursuing troops now converged on the top of the mountain, including the Martial King Ji Fa. As soon as he saw Yin Jiao trapped in the ground, Ji Fa hopped off his horse, fell to his knees, and shouted, “Your highness! Your servant Ji Fa is a law-abiding vassal and would never dare to offend your father.”
He then turned to Jiang Ziya and lamented, “Minister father, look at the position you have put me in. My name will be tainted for ages!”
Jiang Ziya, however, helped him up and said, “Yin Jiao disobeyed the will of heaven and cannot escape his preordained fate. I know you want to pay your respects to the prince, but that is all you can do.”
“But you have trapped him in the mountain, and this crime falls on my head,” Ji Fa said. “I beg you to release him!”
Burning Lamp smiled and said, “My lord, you don’t understand the ways of heaven. Yin Jiao has disobeyed heaven’s will, so how can he escape? You may pay your respects, but you must not do anything against heaven’s wishes.”
Ji Fa kept pleading, but finally, Jiang Ziya told him sternly, “I am merely following the will of heaven and man. I would never dare to disobey heaven and cost you your destiny.”
Ji Fa, with tears in his eyes, lit some incense, kneeled on the ground, and said to Yin Jiao, “It’s not that your servant didn’t try to save your highness. But all the masters here want to adhere to heaven’s will. This truly is not my doing!”
After he was done kowtowing, Burning Lamp “asked” Ji Fa to leave. Once he was gone, everybody was probably like, FINALLY! Let’s get down to business.
From down the mountain side, Master Grand Completion pushed a plow up to the top. When he saw how his disciple was trapped in the ground, he couldn’t help but shed a tear. But he handed the plow over to Jiang Ziya’s disciple Wu (3) Ji (2), who promptly ran it right over Yin Jiao’s head, giving him the bizarre and brutal death that he had promised for himself should he ever break his oath to his master.
But that was not quite the end of Yin Jiao yet. His spirit floated on the wind and arrived in the Shang capital. There, he found his father King Zhou (4), drinking himself stupid with Daji and her two she-demon friends as usual at the Deer Terrace. While he was drinking King Zhou heard someone approaching and felt extremely tired and fell asleep by his table.
Suddenly, he saw this guy with three heads and six arms approaching and saying, “Father, I’m your son Yin Jiao. I have been plowed to death in service of my country. You must mend your ways so that you do not lose your enterprise. You must use talented men to administer the affairs of state. Otherwise, Jiang Ziya will soon march east, and then it will be too late for regrets. I must go now.”
In that moment, King Zhou startled awake and couldn’t help remarking how strange a dream he just had. He told his companions about it, and Daji tried to reassure him that it was all just in his head, and so he promptly put it out of his mind and went back to making merry with the three women.
Meanwhile, an urgent dispatch from Han (2) Rong (2), the commander of Sishui Pass on the Shang’s Western border, arrived on the desk of the senior minister Weizi (1,3). After reading it, Weizi was extremely disturbed and rushed to the inner palace to see the king. When King Zhou read that the commander Zhang Shan had been defeated and that his presumed dead crown prince Yin Jiao was now confirmed dead, he flew into a rage.
“That wicked Ji Fa has declared himself the Martial King and committed treason,” he told his officials. “We have waged numerous campaigns against him, and yet we have seen no success, only casualties. Who else can lead an army against him? If we don’t eliminate him soon, he will be a problem.”
One of his officials said, “The realm is engulfed in unrest and rebellion is everywhere. The Grand Dukes of the East, South, and North are rebelling, but they are nothing compared to the West. With Jiang Ziya’s help, Ji Fa has great ambitions. No one in the capital is a match for Jiang Ziya. I recommend Hong (2) Jin (3), the commander of Three Peaks Pass. He is learned and a skilled warrior. If you put him in charge of a campaign, then it will succeed for sure.”
So, I don’t know how many times we’ve heard that already. And just to note, several of the previous Shang commanders who led campaigns west were stationed at Three Peaks Pass. So I guess the Shang court’s military strategy is that if you keep doing the same thing that hasn’t worked, it’s bound to work at some point. So King Zhou sent a decree to Three Peaks Pass, telling Hong Jin to head West. And so he rounded up 100,000 men and set out for Western Qi. Well, at least he won’t encounter another presumed-dead son of King Zhou.
Upon arriving outside Western Qi, Hong Jin ordered his troops to pitch camp, and he summoned his two vanguard generals and told them, “We’re here on a royal decree. You must do your utmost for the state. Jiang Ziya is wily and must not be underestimated. Be careful and do not act recklessly.”
The next day, one of the vanguard generals, Ji (4) Kang (1), led the troops out to challenge for battle. This time, when Jiang Ziya got word that another army had shown up, he was delighted.
“This makes 36 armies that have attacked us, fulfilling the prophecy,” he said. “Now we can begin our eastern expedition.”
He then asked which officer would go meet this challenge. The general Nangong Kuo volunteered. He rode out and saw an officer approaching like a dark cloud. After they traded names, Ji Kang said, “You all are rebels! You should offer up your heads at our camp gates. Instead, you dare to resist us with force. You’re truly lawless.”
Nangong Kuo laughed, “We’ve killed countless millions of worthless men like you, so what’s a couple more? Turn back now, and I’ll spare your life.”
Ji Kang flew into a rage and galloped forth. They traded blows for 30 exchanges. And won’t you know it, this Ji Kang had some sorcery up his sleeve. He uttered an incantation, and a dark cloud emerged from his head. Within the cloud darted out a dog and it sank its teeth into Nangong Kuo’s arm, taking off a piece of his armor and robe. And he almost took a slash from Ji Kang’s saber while he was busy dodging the dog. Nangong Kuo was scared witless and fell back into the city. When he told Jiang Ziya that they had another sorcerer on their doorstep, Jiang Ziya again brooded.
The next day, the Shang’s other vanguard general, Bo (2) Xianzhong (3,1), came to demand battle. This time, the general Deng Jiugong went out to meet him. Now Deng Jiugong recognized Bo Xianzhong and shouted to him, “All the land has submitted to the sage lord. What are you waiting for? Surrender now!”
“What? And be a scoundrel like you?” Bo Xianzhong shouted back. “You betrayed the country’s great kindness and set aside honor and compassion. You’re dumber than a dog!”
Deng Jiugong was pissed at that insult and the two now went at it. After about 30 exchanges, Deng Jiugong gained the upper hand. He feigned an opening and then cut down his opponent with one swing of his saber. He then brought the slain enemy’s head back into the city, whereupon Jiang Ziya ordered that it be hung from the city wall.
The Shang commander Hong Jin was irate over losing one of his generals and gnashed his teeth. The next day, he personally led his army out and demanded to see Jiang Ziya. Jiang Ziya came out with his army and asked Hong Jin for his name.
“I am Hong Jin, commander of this campaign as decreed by his highness. You all have violated the ways of a vassal and gone against heaven by rebelling. And you have resisted the king’s armies time and again. There can be no mercy for you. I have come on a royal decree to capture you and bring you to the capital so that you will face the punishment of the law. If you’re smart, surrender now and save your city.”
Jiang Ziya laughed and replied, “Hong Jin, since you’re a commander, you must recognize which way the winds are blowing. All the land has submitted to my lord, and all the talented men have abandoned the tyrant. You can do nothing to change the tides. Now, 800 nobles are assembling to punish the tyrant. I will soon join them so that we can save the people and pacify this chaos. Surrender now and you won’t miss out on receiving a title of nobility. But if you dare to resist heaven and aid the wicked, you would bring doom upon yourself.”
“You old scoundrel!” Hong Jin cursed. “How dare you speak such nonsense?!”
And with that, Hong Jin charged across the field. From the Zhou side, one of the Martial King’s many brothers, Ji (1) Shuming (1,2), galloped out to meet him. After 40 bouts, Hong Jin spurred on his horse and leaped out of the fight. He took out a black flag and planted it in the ground and waved his saber over it. The flag immediately morphed into a door, and Hong Jin and his horse disappeared into the door.
Seeing this, Ji Shuming galloped through the door as well. But little did he know that Hong Jin was lurking on the other side of the door, and as soon as he saw Ji Shuming come through, he swung his and cut down Ji Shuming, leaving Jiang Ziya stunned.
Hong Jin now changed his door back into a flag, revealed himself again, and shouted, “Who else dares to fight me?”
“You scoundrel! Don’t you show off; here I come,” an officer shouted from the Zhou side. This was the female warrior Deng Chanyu. She galloped out and started slashing with her cutlasses. Hong Jin thought to himself, “She’s a woman. She must have some trick. I shouldn’t play around. Let me kill her quickly.”
So once again, he used his flag power and rode through the magic door. But instead of chasing him, Deng Chanyu simply hurled a pebble through the door, and she could hear Hong Jin cry out in pain on the other side. Moments later, Hong Jin folded up his flag and retreated back to camp with a big bruise on his face. Despite this, though, Jiang Ziya returned to the city in quite a mood over having lost a prince of the royal house.
Over in the Shang camp, Hong Jin was nursing his bruised face. He rubbed some magic medicine on it and it healed overnight. His bruised ego, however, was taking longer to recover. The next morning, he rode to the foot of the city and demanded to face the woman who wounded him the day before. Jiang Ziya passed word of this to the private quarters, where the womenfolk were hidden away from the world even though they, you know, fought every battle just like the men. Deng Chanyu’s husband, Tuxing Sun, told her, “Hong Jin is demanding to fight you. You must not follow him through his trick door.”
“I fought for many years when I was at Three Peaks Pass,” she scoffed. “Do you think I haven’t seen sorcery? Of course I won’t go into his trick door.”
Just as they were speaking, Princess Long (2) Ji (3), who I guess lives with them or something, came out and asked what they were talking about. Tuxing Sun told her about Hong Jin’s magic door and how he was demanding to fight Deng Chanyu again.
Prince Long Ji chuckled, “That’s just child’s play. It’s called the ‘Flag Door Magic.’ The black flag becomes the inner door while the white flag becomes the outer door. I can take care of it.”
So Tuxing Sun now went out front and told Jiang Ziya what Princess Long Ji said. Again, hey maybe we really should let the women join our business meetings. Jiang Ziya was delighted and invited her to join them. She asked for a horse so she could go out and take care of the enemy. Jiang Ziya obliged her, and she rode out alone.
On the other side, Hong Jin saw a female warrior riding toward him, but not the female warrior he was expecting. So he asked for her name.
“There’s no need for you to ask,” Princess Long Ji replied. “And even if I told you, you won’t recognize me. Just dismount and await your death.”
Hong Jin roared in laughter and cursed, “You outrageous wench! How dare you?!”
So he raised his saber and attacked. Princess Long Ji raised her sword to counter. After a few exchanges, Hong Jin once again deployed his flag door and rode through it. Princess Long Ji, however, took out a white flag of her own, planted it in the ground, and pointed at it with her sword. Another door immediately appeared, and she rode through it and disappeared.
Hong Jin was stunned. Just as he was trying to figure out what’s going on, Princess Long Ji suddenly appeared behind him and brought her sword down on his back. And the novel just flat out insults her here, telling us that, quote, “even though the princess was an immortal, she was nonetheless still just a woman and not very strong.” So although she landed a clean blow, it didn’t kill Hong Jin, but rather just cut into his shoulder armor. Hong Jin cried out in pain and fled North, leaving his magic flag behind.
Princess Long Ji gave chase and shouted, “Hong Jin, surrender and accept your death now! I am the Golden Mother’s daughter and have come to aid the Martial King. No matter what Daoist magic you have, and no matter how far I have to chase you, I WILL have your head!”
Surprisingly, that didn’t give Hong Jin any motivation to slow down. As the princess closed in, she again shouted, “Hong Jin, there’s no mercy for you today! I told Prime Minister Jiang that I will not return until I’ve killed you.”
Hearing that, and feeling the pain from his wound, Hong Jin thought to himself, “Oh crap! Let me ditch my horse and fast-travel away.”
But as he summoned his earth-travel magic, Princess Long Ji laughed, “Hong Jin, this fast travel is no big deal. Watch me!”
And so she also dismounted and fast traveled via the wood element. And apparently, wood is faster than earth, as she was still closing in. By now, they were approaching the North Sea. Hong Jin thought to himself, “Good thing I still have one magic item with me.”
As he neared the sea, he pulled out said magic item and tossed it into the water. As soon as it got wet, the item sprang to life, turned into a whale dragon, and started making waves. Hong Jin stepped onto the whale dragon and rode out to sea.
When Princess Long Ji got to the shoreline and saw her foe fleeing on the back of a whale dragon, she laughed again. “Well, it’s a good thing I have a magic item with me.” So she too pulled out another macguffin and tossed it into the sea, and this thing turned into a Divine Dolphin. She then stepped onto the back of the dolphin and set off after Hong Jin.
As the dolphin set forth, the huge waves that the whale dragon had stirred up suddenly died down, and Princess Long Ji soon overtook her foe. She now unleashed her Dragon-Binding Cord and summoned a divine bodyguard, telling him, “Go take Hong Jin back to Western Qi.”
The divine bodyguard promptly used the cord to tie up Hong Jin, lifted him into the air, and literally deposited him on Jiang Ziya’s doorsteps. Momentarily, Princess Long Ji arrived, and Jiang Ziya bowed and said, “Your great success today is a boon to our enterprise and our people.”
“I had not rendered any service since coming here,” she said. “So I have captured Hong Jin today for you to deal with as you see fit.”
She then took her leave and went back to the private quarters. Jiang Ziya, meanwhile, told the guards to bring in Hong Jin and told him, “You have disobeyed heaven. There’s no way you can be spared.”
Jiang Ziya then ordered his men to take Hong Jin outside for execution. The general Nangong Kuo was assigned to do the deed. But just as he was about to carry out his orders, a Daoist sprinted onto the scene, huffing, puffing and shouting, “Please spare him!”
This gave Nangong Kuo pause and he went back inside and told Jiang Ziya. Jiang Ziya quickly summoned the Daoist and asked for his name. The Daoist said, “My name is Heavenly Matchmaker. Princess Long Ji and Hong Jin were destined to be married, so I rushed here to let you know. Also, he can be of service on your eastern campaign. You must not go against the fates.”
But Jiang Ziya thought to himself, “She’s an immortal. How can I suggest to her that she marry a mortal man?”
So he sent Deng Chanyu to go have a little girl talk with Princess Long Ji first to let her know what Heavenly Matchmaker had said. So Deng Chanyu went into the private quarters, and Princess Long Ji asked what’s up.
“Heavenly Matchmaker came and said that you and Hong Jin are destined to be married. He’s talking out front with the prime minister now. So the prime minister sent me here to let you know before he talks to you about it.”
Long Ji, understandably, was not so keen on this. “I was banished to the mortal realm because I had violated the rules of heaven,” she said. “I am unable to reunite with my mother. So how can I get even more entangled with the mortal realm?”
Deng Chanyu did not dare to say anything else. Soon, Heavenly Matchmaker and Jiang Ziya came to the private quarters, and Long Ji went to see them. Heavenly Matchmaker told her, “You have followed the righteous path. You were banished to the mortal realm so you could fulfill your destiny in this realm, after which you will naturally return to heaven. Besides, Jiang Ziya is about to lead an army east. You and Hong Jin will render great service and be remembered for all posterity. On the day you succeed, you will be welcomed back to heaven by the Golden Mother. This is heaven’s will. You cannot go against it even if you wish. That’s why I rushed here. Otherwise, Hong Jin would have been executed. I got here just in time to save him. You can tell that this was preordained. Listen to me and don’t delay the day of your happy union, or you would have committed another offense and it would be too late for regrets. Please, consider this carefully.”
Hearing that long spiel, Princess Long Ji was like, fine, I’ll marry this mediocrity. Stupid heaven’s will.
“Who knew that I was in for such a mortal entanglement,” she said with a long sigh. “Well, since Heavenly Matchmaker is making this proposal, I cannot decline.”
Jiang Ziya and Heavenly Matchmaker apparently only heard the yes part and missed her unenthusiastic sigh, because they were delighted by her answer. So they released Hong Jin, treated his wound, and told him, hey guess what, instead of being executed, you’re getting married. To an immortal princess no less. Talk about winning the lottery.
So after marrying off another talented woman to an undeserving man, Jiang Ziya set his mind to more important matters. On the third day of the third month of the 35th year of King Zhou’s reign, he and his officers had finished their preparations for their eastern campaign. There was just one little thing left to do before they set out — tell their king about their plans. So yeah, the whole time that everyone was talking about Jiang Ziya’s big day coming up, they were all just making a rather large assumption.
The next day, when the Martial King Ji Fa held court, Jiang Ziya stepped forth and presented a petition, which said:
“From Prime Minister Jiang Ziya: Your servant has heard that Heaven and Earth are the creators of all things, and that man is first among all creations. The king is the father of the people. Yet, King Zhou (4) has offended heaven and brought disaster upon his people. He is cruel and wicked and drowns himself in wine and women. He has brought shame upon his ancestors. He listens only to his woman and destroys those who are loyal and good. He places his trust in the wicked, imprisons the righteous, kills his wife and sons, neglects his enterprise, and ignores his ancestral temple. His crimes are many, and heaven and men are both enraged. Now, all the nobles of the land are assembled at Mengjin (4,1), ready to wage war against the tyrant on behalf of the people in order to save the people. I beg your highness to exercise compassion, oblige all the nobles’ wishes, consider the suffering of the people, and mobilize your forces to join this undertaking. It would be a boon to the country and its people!”
After reading this, Ji Fa remained in silent thought for a long while before saying, “Minister father, even though your petition said that King Zhou is unjust, has been abandoned by everyone, and deserves to be attacked, my father, the late king, said on his deathbed that I, as a vassal, must never attack my own liege. If I do what you’re suggesting, all who come after would criticize me. They will say that I was unfilial in disobeying my father’s dying wish and disloyal in attacking my own lord, even if he is unjust. Why don’t we both continue to serve him as his vassals and wait for him to change his ways. Won’t that be better?”
Jiang Ziya, though, replied, “I would never dare to disobey our late king. But all the nobles of the land have put out declarations enumerating King Zhou’s offenses and stating that he is unfit to rule. The nobles have all gathered at Mengjin (4,1), preparing to wage war on him on behalf of the people. The Grand Dukes of the East, South, and North are all there. If you, the only other Grand Duke, do not show up, you will be the first one to be attacked, BEFORE they even attack King Zhou. I worry that this would spell trouble for our state, so I had to submit this petition and ask your highness to decide. I hope you will do so.”
“Well, if the three of them want to attack the Shang, let them,” Ji Fa said. “We can remain within our borders. That way we do not fail in our duties as vassals, nor would we disobey my father’s command. Won’t that be better?”
“But King Zhou is tormenting the people,” Jiang Ziya pressed. “Heaven is angry with him. You would be following heaven’s will by waging war on him and rescuing the people from their suffering. If you disobey heaven, it would be a great crime.”
So what everyone was assuming would be a mere formality and rubber stamping of the Eastern expedition was turning out to be much harder than expected. To see if Jiang Ziya can actually convince Ji Fa to go to war, tune in to the next episode of the Chinese Lore Podcast. Thanks for listening!
Music in This Episode
- “Sao Meo” by Doug Maxwell / Zac Zinger
- “Slow Times Over Here” by Midnight North (from YouTube audio library)
- “Day of Recon” by Max Surla/Media Right Productions (from YouTube audio library)