Gods 039: Dueling Daoists

The Daoist mafia war is in full swing as Grand Tutor Wen calls in a gaggle of his friends.

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Transcript

Welcome to the Chinese Lore Podcast, where I retell classic Chinese stories in English. This is episode 39 of Investiture of the Gods.

Last time, Grand Tutor Wen faced off in person against Jiang Ziya and company, and found himself on the wrong end of things. The Zhou forces raided his camp, killed 20,000 men, and sent him fleeing for 25 miles as he retreated into Qi Mountain. Once he regrouped his forces and pitched camp again, he sat in his tent and lamented, “I had never lost my prowess in all the years I have led armies in the field. And yet today, I have lost battles and men!”

As he sat brooding, he was so worked up that he kept sighing, and his third eye was wide open. Then, one of his disciples, Ji (2) Li (4), told him, “Grand Tutor, no need to worry. You still have many Daoist friends across the sacred mountains. Just get a few of them to help you, and you will succeed.”

“You’re right,” Wen Zhong said. “I’ve been so concerned with military affairs that I’ve forgotten.”

He told his two disciples to keep watch over the camp, and then he hopped on his ride, the black qilin, and took to the air. 

Later that day, he landed on Golden Turtle Island, a speck of land in the middle of the East Sea. This was a heavenly place, with tall, craggy cliffs rising above the roaring white foams of the sea, ancient trees and rare plants that dotted the landscape, and exotic creatures that roamed the woods.  

As he gazed out on the endless waters and the peaceful green mountains, Wen Zhong couldn’t help but sigh, “I am carrying the burden of the state’s affairs and the trust of my former lord. Oh, when can I escape all these worries and just sit quietly on a cushion and read Daoist classics without a care for the passing of time?”

But he could only spare a second for such idle thoughts. He was here on business. He now walked around the island to various caves where his Daoist friends resided. And yet everywhere, he found the cave entrances shut and his knocks going unanswered.

After searching for a while, he thought to himself, “Alas, I might as well go elsewhere.”

So he mounted his black qilin and left the island. But just as he departed, he suddenly heard someone call out from behind, “Brother Wen! Where are you going?”

He turned and saw that it was one of his Daoist friends, Celestial Lotus. He hurriedly greeted her and asked where she was headed. She replied, “I came specifically to find you. All our Daoist friends on Golden Turtle Island have gone off to White Deer Island to prepare their battle formations so they can help you. A couple days ago, Shen (1) Gongbao (1,4) came to ask us to go help you in Western Qi. I’ve been refining a weapon in my sacred furnace. Once it’s done, I’ll be right there. All our Daoist friends are on White Deer Island right now. You should go there.”

Wen Zhong was delighted at this news. He took his leave and rushed to White Deer Island. There, he found nine Daoists, scattered in small groups in front of a hill, chatting with each other. 

“My Daoist friends, how carefree you are!” Wen Zhong shouted to them.

The Daoists turned and saw that it was Wen Zhong, so they all got up to welcome him. One of them, Qin (2) Yuan (2), said, “We heard that you are leading a campaign against Western Qi. A couple days ago, Shen Gongbao came to ask us to help you. We came here to work on 10 death-trap battle formations and had just finished. You showed up at the perfect time.”

“What are these 10 death traps?” Wen Zhong asked.

“Each of these battle formations has its own secrets,” Qin Yuan said. “We will set them up in Western Qi tomorrow, and you’ll see that they are endlessly intricate.”

Wen Zhong now looked around and asked, “Why are there only nine of you? Who’s missing?”

“Ah, Mother Golden Light is practicing her Golden Light Formation on White Cloud Island because it’s quite different,” Qin Yuan explained.

Another of the Daoists, Dong (3) Quan (2), now asked the others if they were ready to go, and they all said yes. So Dong Quan told Wen Zhong, “Why don’t the rest of us go to Western Qi first, and you stay here and wait for Mother Golden Light, and then come join us?”

“Thank you all for your help,” Wen Zhong said. “I am so honored.”

So the nine Daoists took their leave of Wen Zhong and fast-traveled via the water element to Western Qi. While they were gone, Wen Zhong sat down on the hill on White Deer Island and waited. A short while later, he saw someone approaching from the south. She rode a spotted leopard and wore a fishtail golden coronet, a silk belt, and a red robe embroidered with patterns of the eight trigram. She carried a bundle on her back, and two swords dangled from her waist. This was Mother Golden Light.

When she saw Wen Zhong, she quickly dismounted and greeted him, and then asked where everyone went. Wen Zhong brought her up to speed, and they now rode toward Western Qi together. They soon arrived back in the camp of the Shang army, where they were greeted by Wen Zhong’s officers. Wen Zhong now assembled his staff and introduced them to the 10 Daoists.

The Daoist Qin Yuan asked where they were in relation to the city of Western Qi. Wen Zhong said, “Because we suffered a defeat some days ago, we retreated some 25 miles before pitching camp here. We are on Qi Mountain.”

All the Daoists now advocated for marching back to the city, so Wen Zhong ordered his forces to move out at once. At the sound of an explosive, they doubletimed it back to the foot of Western Qi. Once they pitched camp, they blasted off some more explosives and let out waves of raucous battle cries.

Inside Western Qi, Jiang Ziya had been discussing affairs of state with his officers since their victory against Wen Zhong. When they suddenly heard loud battle cries outside the city that day, they figured that it must be Wen Zhong coming back with reinforcements.

The Daoist Yang (2) Jian (3) said, “It’s been a couple weeks since Wen Zhong ran away after his defeat. I’ve heard that he is a disciple of the Jie (2) Sect of Daoism. He must have recruited some sorcerers to help him. We must be on guard.”

Jiang Ziya now went to the top of the city wall with his officers to take a look. They saw that the Shang camp looked quite different than last time. The camp was enveloped in ill-looking clouds and fog, giving off a melancholy air. There were a dozen or so columns of black smoke emanating from the camp toward the heavens, surrounding the main command tent. This sight made Jiang Ziya quite alarmed, and all the other Daoists on his side were silent. They recognized trouble when they saw it. They then went back to his office to discuss how to repel the enemy, but no one had any ideas.

Meanwhile, in the Shang camp, Wen Zhong huddled with his new helpers to discuss how to attack the enemy. One of the Daoists, Yuan (2) Jiao (3), said, “I’ve heard that Jiang Ziya is a disciple from Kunlun Mountain. Since we’re all Daoists, there’s no need for us to wage war the way mortals do. Since we have the 10 formations, let’s first have a battle of wits and show off the intricate mysteries of our respective sects. We don’t need to resort to a battle of brawn.”

Wen Zhong agreed, so the next day, the Shang forces lined up for battle, and Wen Zhong rode out and demanded to speak with Jiang Ziya. Jiang Ziya promptly led his army out and lined up. Seated atop his Four-Not-Like and flanked by his officers, Jiang Ziya saw Wen Zhong in front of the bristling enemy lines, with 10 vicious-looking Daoists behind him. They had green, yellow, red, white, and pink faces and rode on deers.

One of those Daoists, Qin Yuan, now rode forward, bowed slightly to Jiang Ziya, and they exchanged greetings.

“Daoist brother, which mountain and cave do you hail from?” Jiang Ziya asked.

“I am Qin Yuan, a Daoist from Golden Turtle Island,” Qin Yuan replied. “You all are disciples of the Chan sect, while we are disciples of the Jie sect. Why are you using your powers to bully our sect? This is not a polite thing to do to fellow Daoists.”

“My friend, when did I offend your honorable sect?” Jiang Ziya inquired.

“You killed the Daoists from Nine Dragons Island, as well as the four Mo brothers. That is a great affront to our sect. So we have come to settle the score with you and see who is better. This is not a battle of brawn. We will show off our skills through our powers. We are not ordinary mortals. It’s unbecoming of immortals to rely on brawn.”

Jiang Ziya retorted, “Daoist brother, you are wise and have achieved much. But King Zhou is a wicked tyrant and his time as king is at an end. A compassionate lord has emerged in the West, in accordance with the will of heaven. And a phoenix has appeared on Qi Mountain, symbolizing the blessings of this sage king. As has always been the case, the righteous overcomes the unrighteous, and the blessed overcomes the unblessed. Right overcomes wrong, and evil cannot encroach on good. You are a Daoist master; how can you not understand such things?”

Qin Yuan scoffed. “So according to you, Ji Fa is the anointed one, while King Zhou (4) is a wicked tyrant? Well, we have come to help King Zhou exterminate your kingdom. Is that not in accordance with heaven? It’s all just talk. Alright, Jiang Ziya, we have laid out 10 formations for you. Let’s use those to settle this, rather than engage in a bloody war that would violate the compassionate will of heaven and bring injury and death to innocent men and soldiers. What do you think?”

“Since that is your intent, how would I dare to refuse?” Jiang Ziya said.

And so, the ten Daoists on the Shang side rode back to their camp, and within a few hours, they had laid out ten formations. Qin Yuan now rode back out to the front lines and said, “Jiang Ziya, our formations are ready whenever you are.”

Jiang Ziya now asked Nezha, Huang Tianhua, Thunderbolt, and Yang Jian to go with him to have a look at these ten formations. As they approached, Yang Jian said to Qin Yuan, “You all can’t try to ambush us while we are looking at your formations. If you try to use hidden magic weapons to attack my Daoist uncle, it would not be the actions of a real man.”

Qin Yuan scoffed, “If I want you dead in the morning, you won’t dare to last until noon. Why would I ever need to ambush you?”

“Well you’re just all talk. Let’s see if you can back it up,” Nezha shot back.

Jiang Ziya and his escorts now examined the ten formations. At the entrance of each one was a placard with the name of the formation. These were: Heavenly Destruction, Earthly Fury, Roaring Typhoon, Frigid Ice, Golden Light, Bleeding Blood, Vehement Flame, Soul Snatcher, Red Water, and Red Sand.

After taking a close look, Jiang Ziya rode back to the front lines and said, “Alright, I’ve seen them all.”

“Do you think you can break them?” Qin Yuan asked.

“Since I know them, of course I can.”

“Ok, when will you attempt it?”

“Well, they are not fully ready yet. So why don’t you send me a message when you are ready, and then I’ll come.”

And so it was agreed, and Wen Zhong and his Daoists returned to camp while Jiang Ziya and his army went back into the city. As soon as he returned to his office, Jiang Ziya slouched in his chair, with his brows furrowed. Noticing this, Yang Jian asked, “Daoist uncle, were you telling the truth when you said you can break those formations?”

Jiang Ziya was like, oh god no! 

“Those formations were created by the sorcery of the Jie sect and are full of mysteries that I can’t even comprehend,” he said. “Even their names are strange to me. How can I break them?”

While Jiang Ziya fretted, Wen Zhong and his Daoist friends feasted outside the city. Over drinks, he asked them what exactly was so great about these ten formations. And the Daoists all promptly broke out their Powerpoint slides.

“The Heavenly Destruction formation was invented by my master using pre-creation energies,” Qin Yuan said. “It has three pennants, which represent heaven, earth, and humanity. Any human who enters will be reduced to ashes at the sound of thunder. Any immortal who enters will be shattered to pieces.”

“The Earthly Fury formation contains energies of the earth, concentrated in a solid mass,” said Zhao (4) Jiang (1), another of the Daoists. “It undergoes endless changes, now appearing, now disappearing. It has a red pennant, and when that waves, thunder roars above and flames spring up from below. No human or immortal can survive.”

Dong Quan (2) then chimed in and said, “My Roaring Typhoon formation produces wind and fire, but they are not ordinary wind and fire. They existed before genesis. Millions of swords are concealed within, and they emerge as the wind and fire rise. Men and immortals alike will be cut to pieces when they enter. Nobody can come out alive.”

Next up was Yuan Jiao (3), who said, “I invented the Frigid Ice formation after years of assiduous effort. Despite its name, it’s actually a mountain of swords. In the center, there is wind and thunder. Above is a mountain of ice cutlasses, and below there are solid ice blocks. When men or immortals enter, the wind will blow and the thunder will sound, and the mountain above and ice blocks below will come together and crush them to smithereens. Even those with the most extraordinary powers will not escape that fate.”

Mother Golden Light then said, “My Golden Light formation is made from essence derived from the sun, moon, heaven, and earth. There are 21 magic mirrors, each hung on a high pole by a ring. Any intruder, man or immortal, will be turned into a stream of blood if they are touched by the golden light that shoots from the mirrors. None can escape destruction.”

Sun (1) Liang (2) was next. “My Bleeding Blood formation uses forces that existed before genesis. At the center there is wind and thunder. Within them are hidden countless pieces of basalt. When men and immortals enter, the thunder will sound, and the wind will sweep up the basalt. Any part of the body that comes into contact with the basalt immediately starts to bleed until the whole body is turned into a puddle of blood. Even immortals cannot escape.”

Then, Bai (2) Li (3) spoke up. “The Vehement Flame formation is endlessly intricate. It’s extraordinary. It contains three kinds of fire: the divine flame that immortals produce in their stomachs, the fire of air, and the fire of rock. There are three red pennants in the formation. When men or immortals enter, the three pennants will wave, and all three fires will rage and reduce the intruder to cinder. Even those with powers to evade fire cannot hide from these flames.”

Yao (2) Bin (1) then explained his formation. “The Soul Snatcher formation is amazing. It closes all the doors of life and throws open the windows of death. It’s filled with the deadliest essence from heaven and earth. There’s a white paper pennant inscribed with charms, and when it waves, the soul of any intruder is snatched away. Death is immediate.”

Wang (2) Yi (4) followed and said, “My Red Water formation contains the essence of liquid. In the center, there is a platform in the shape of the eight trigrams, and on the platform, there are three dried gourds. When someone intrudes, I cast down the gourds, and they pour forth red water like a great flood. If one drop touches them, they are instantly reduced to a puddle of blood. Even gods and immortals cannot escape.”

And last but not least, Zhang Jie (2) said, “The Red Sand formation is a true wonder. It’s composed of three different parts, corresponding to heaven, earth, and humanity. Each contains a ladle of red sand. It may look like sand, but it feels like sharp blades against your skin. It will reduce any intruder to powder. Even immortals who encounter this formation cannot escape.”

And oh by the way, each of these Daoists capped off their little explanation with a four-line poem extolling the virtues of their respective formation. So these guys obviously put a lot of thought into their presentations and their branding. It worked, because Wen Zhong was elated. 

“With you guys here, Western Qi will fall within days,” he said. “Even if they have a million soldiers and thousands of fierce generals, it would do them no good. This is truly a blessing for the kingdom!”

One of the Daoists, Yao (2) Bin (1), now had another idea. He said, “Brothers, in my opinion, Western Qi is just a speck of land, and Jiang Ziya is an ignoramus. How can he withstand our 10 formations? How about I use a little trick to kill him. Without its military leader, Western Qi would fall on its own. As the old saying goes, ‘A headless snake cannot move, and a leaderless army will fall into disarray.’ There’s no need to have a showdown with him.”

Wen Zhong’s ears perked up, and he said, “Brother, if you have the power to kill Jiang Ziya without needing to resort to battle, it would be ideal. What are you thinking?”

“It would not make any noise, and after 21 days, Jiang Ziya will be dead,” Yao Bin said. “Even if he’s an immortal, he cannot escape.”

Wen Zhong was further intrigued and pressed for details. Yao Bin whispered in  his ear, and Wen Zhong was ecstatic. He told the others, “Brother Yao is going to use his powers to kill Jiang Ziya. With him dead, the enemy’s forces will fall apart, and victory will be ours. We will be able to subdue Western Qi over drinks and laughs. This must be heaven’s blessing for our king, prompting you all to come to my aid.”

“We will let Brother Yao claim this credit,” the other Daoists said. “It’s all for you, brother Wen, so there’s no need to thank us.”

Yao Bin now toko his leave of the party and went into his Soul Snatcher formation. There, he built an earthen terrace, on which he set up an incense table. He also set up a straw mannequin on the terrace, and on it, he wrote Jiang Ziya’s name. He set up three lamps at the head of the mannequin and seven at its feet. The three lamps at the head were set up to draw out Jiang Ziya’s souls, and the seven at the feet were there to receive his sub-souls. With everything ready, Yao Bin let his hair hang down and took his sword in hand as he paced in front of the terrace and uttered incantations. He also burned written spells. He did this three times a day for three or four days in a row.

Inside Western Qi, Jiang Ziya had been spending these past few days discussing strategy with his officers. But he appeared subdued and listless. Yang Jian noticed this and suspected something wasn’t quite right with Jiang Ziya. He was concerned and befuddled. By day 7, Jiang Ziya was ignoring military affairs and staying in bed all day. All his officers and Daoist disciples were worried, confused, and at a loss for what to do. By day 15, Jiang Ziya had lost half of his souls, and he was constantly falling asleep and snoring.

Nezha and Yang Jian now assembled the senior Daoist disciples to discuss the situation. Yang Jian said, “The prime minister has been acting as if he’s in a deep dream for days. It’s most unusual, as if someone is hexxing him. Otherwise, how can he be lost in this unconscious state and ignore the important affairs? There must be something to this.”

So they all went into Jiang Ziya’s bedroom to ask him to go to his office and discuss military affairs and see how he would react. When they got there, they asked the servant stationed out front where Jiang Ziya was, and he told them that he was still asleep. They asked the servant to go invite Jiang Ziya out for a word. 

Jiang Ziya managed to scrape himself up off the bed and stagger out from his inner chamber. His disciple Wu (3) Ji (2) told him, “Master, you’ve been sleeping every day and ignoring the important affairs of the army and the kingdom. This is a big deal, and the officers are all worried. Please come and discuss military affairs at once, so as to bring peace to our realm.”

So Jiang Ziya had no choice but to drag himself out to his office. His officers came forward to discuss military matters, but he just sat there without a word, as if in a drunken stupor. Suddenly, a strong gale blew, and Nezha asked Jiang Ziya whether it’s a good or ill omen, hoping to test  his faculties. Jiang Ziya did a little calculation with his fingers and muttered, “This is just some random gust of wind, nothing more.” No one dared to disagree, and they just took their leave.

A few more days passed, and it had now been 20 days since Yao Bin began his voodoo. By now, he had captured all but two of Jiang Ziya’s souls, and on the 21st day, those too left his body. When Jiang Ziya’s men went to check on him, they found that he was dead. Again.

Word of the death of the Minister Father soon spread, and all the officers, Daoist disciples, and even the Martial King himself stood by his body in tears as they mourned. The Martial King Ji Fa wept and said, “Minister Father hasn’t enjoyed any peace and quiet because of his dedication to the kingdom, and it has led to this. How can I live with myself?!”

Those words made everyone else break down and cry as well. Yang Jian, choking back tears, put his hand on Jiang Ziya’s body. Suddenly, he turned to Ji Fa and said, “My lord, don’t panic. The prime minister’s chest is still warm. He must not be dead yet. Let’s keep his body here for now.”

Of course! Given how many supposedly dead people have been later upgraded to alive in this novel, I guess this shouldn’t be a surprise at all. Anyway, while his officers were all in tizzy, Jiang Ziya’s soul had left his body and was drifting toward the Terrace of Creation, but he was met there by Bai (3) Jian (4), the guy he had left in charge of the terrace. Bai Jian told him, uhh yeah, you can’t stay here and turned him away. Jiang Ziya’s soul now drifted with the wind toward Kunlun Mountain.

On the mountain, his senior apprentice, Immortal of the South Pole, was strolling around and gathering herbs when he suddenly saw a spirit drifting near. When he recognized whose soul it was, Immortal of the South Pole was shocked and quickly caught up to the soul and trapped it in his gourd. He then raced back to the Jade Emptiness Palace to tell his master, Heavenly Primogenitor. But as he entered the palace, he heard someone calling out to him from behind. He turned and saw that it was fellow disciple Pure Essence. 

“My friend, what brings you here?” Immortal of the South Pole asked.

“Oh I was just bored, so I came to ask you to go sightseeing, call on wise hermits, or just play some chess. How about it?”

“I don’t have time today.”

“But our master has stopped his lessons, so we have nothing to do,” Pure Essence pressed. “If we wait till he starts back up, then we really won’t have time. How can you say you don’t have time today? You’re lying.”

“I have important matters to attend to and can’t go with you,” Immortal of the South Pole explained. 

“Ha, I know what’s on your mind,” Pure Essence chuckled. “It’s about Jiang Ziya’s soul, nothing else.”

“How did you know?”

“I was teasing you just now,” Pure Essence said. “I came here specifically for his soul. I went to Western Qi Mountain, and Bai (3) Jian (4) at the Terrace of Creation told me he had just turned away Jiang Ziya’s soul and that it was heading toward Kunlun Mountain. So I came here to chase it down. I saw you going into the palace just now, so I teased you. Where is his soul now?”

Immortal of the South Pole replied, “I was walking around the foot of the cliff just now and saw his soul drifting around. I have trapped it in my gourd. I was going to inform our master when you showed up.”

“Oh, this trifle of a thing is no reason to disturb the leader of the sect,” Pure Essence said. “Give me the gourd, and I’ll go rescue Jiang Ziya.”

So Immortal of the South Pole handed over the gourd, and Pure Essence fast-traveled away from Kunlun Mountain. To see where he’s going and how he’s going to save Jiang Ziya, tune in to the next episode of the Chinese Lore Podcast. Thanks for listening!

Music in This Episode

• “Sao Meo” by Doug Maxwell / Zac Zinger
• “Ravines” by Elphnt (from YouTube audio library) 
• “Comfortable Mystery 3 – Film Noire” by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100536; Artist: http://incompetech.com/)
• “The Quiet Aftermath by Sir Cubworth (from YouTube audio library)